Let's hear your bad roommate stories.

[Mutley]

My SO and I shared an apartment with this girl a few years ago. She was the nastiest individual I've ever met. She used to leave leftover food sitting out in the kitchen and living room for days. She once left a package of bacon on the counter for three days, then ate it -- all in one sitting I might add. I don't know how she escaped food poisoning. :shrug:

She wouldn't bathe for WEEKS, then when she finally did she'd leave a ring of body filth nearly half an inch thick on the tub. I am NOT exaggerating. We had to go to a friend's house to shower.

She used to get so drunk that she'd come home and pass out in her bed. She'd be so wasted that she wouldn't even wake up to pee. She'd pee right in her bed. But worse, she wouldn't clean it up. Her room, and after awhile the entire apartment, smelled like one big urinal. :puke:

She'd leave such a mess in the living room that finally during the last few months we lived with her, we refused to pay equal rent for the apartment. We could not hang out in the living room it was so bad. We were cooped up in our bedroom for months!

She ate our food. We were pretty hard up for cash at the time so we couldn't afford to feed her. We had to buy only items that didn't need to be refrigerated so we could keep them locked in a safe-box in our closet.

And the best: She burned our apartment down with a plug-in "back massager", which she used for, ahem, other purposes. She left it plugged in and on for three days while she went out of town. Apparently the outlet couldn't take it anymore and WHOOSH! All our stuff gone. Not to mention she'd leave her bong sitting out, and during the fire, the fire marshal found it and was going to have my SO arrested because he was the only one home at the time. She was going to let it happen. The only reason she fessed up to it being hers is because I told her I would call her parents otherwise.

We couldn't get away from her fast enough. We went to the management and told them our problems and they let us out of the lease early.

Oh, and lurking freeper types: before you get on your high horse about 'this is how liberals live, blah blah blah," she voted for your boy Bush in 2000. Thankfully, I have no idea how she voted in 2004.

[kmla]

1. Eeps. My bad ex-roomate story isn't quite that bad, but here goes...

Freshman year in college. My first semester roommate decided to move in with a guy down the hall. He was an OK guy, but a little bit of a dork.

Second semester roommate moves in. He had a habit of riding his bike everywhere on campus, working up a sweat, and then coming back to the dorm, removing his shirt, setting his corpulent ass down, and doing his homework at his desk. While doing this homework, the sweat he accumulated during his PeeWee Herman-like ride back from class would evolve into a nasty stench.

He did this ALL FUCKING SEMESTER.

And also, let's say that he also wasn't the, uh, brightest bulb in the chandelier.

I recall a conversation we had once, and it went like this:

Perface - we are watching a college basketball game, where one of the opposing team's star players attended his high school a few years earlier) I'll refer to the roommate as Stinky...



Stinky - "Yeah, that guy was a good basketball player. He was so good, that his college wanted to pay for his classes so he could go to school there."

kmla - *blinks eyes* (thinks about the definition of a full-ride athletic scholarship and recalls talking to older brother earlier that week, who had attended the same opposing team's university on a full-ride football scholarship) "Umm, I'm pretty sure they did pay for his school, man. That is what an athletic scholarship is. They pay for your tuition and room and board. They did it for my brother, who will graduate this May."

Stinky - (using the expression of disbelief usually reserved for 7 year old children) "Oh, NUH-UH! They did not."

kmla - "Oooooo-kaaaaaay." *shakes head, rolls eyes, and walks out of room*

[Mutley]

7. Lol! Reminds me of a guy I dated in HS.

We were once driving down the road and we saw a cute vanity plate on someone's van. When we passed the van, the ex turned at looked at the front plate and said, "Hey, look! It says the same thing on the front." :wow:

He was a nice guy, but needless to say that relationship didn't last very long.

[kick-ass-bob]

57. I don't get it.

Why would they be the same?

[Mutley]

59. The front and back plates in MD are always the same...

whether they are regular plates or vanity plates.

[kick-ass-bob]

69. oh - we only have one plate here in NC.

The front could have nothing or whatever you want.

[Mutley]

71. Ah, okay.

Delaware is like that, too. My dad was once pulled over in MD for not having a front license plate until he pointed out to the cop that he lived in DE. :crazy:

[Shell Beau]

2. That is truly the roommate from hell!

:scared:

[Mutley]

8. Oh she really was.

It brought back bad memories just writing that post. :scared:

[demnan]

3. I would have posted some of mine from college days

but since I have had no experience as bad as yours I'll just be thankful for the roommates I did have.

[Mutley]

9. Lol, maybe I should have posted my story last.

;)

[bertha katzenengel]

4. All my ex-roommates would have to come here and write about me.

:blush:

[Mutley]

10. Awww!

:hug:

You couldn't possibly have been as bad as my ex-roommate. I'm sure you never burned down your apartment with a dildo, did you?

[bertha katzenengel]

14. No, but I got kicked out of one apartment and one house because I am a

SLOB! :cry: SO embarrassing.

Then there's the apartment I was asked to leave because I came out. But to be fair to the 'mates, I was a slob there, too.

And I got kicked out of one house for being crazy. And I was. That was a long time ago.

So there.

:crazy:

If you're ever tempted to scoff when someone tells you, "people change," think of me.

[Mutley]

23. I firmly believe people can change.

I used to be a slob, too, but ole ex-roomie of mine cured me of that. :puke:

And you getting kicked out of a house for being gay is just fucked up. I would've had to kick some ass.

[bertha katzenengel]

33. In all honesty, they kicked me out because I was a slob, but it was a

Christian household - and I was a fundy when I moved in - so when I came out, I gave them the perfect coward's exit. :eyes:

[Burma Jones]

5. I have two, from the same group house

First:

We had a guy living in the Group House, mid 30's, heavy drinker, had a good job as a support person at the World bank. He also played Classical Guitar so well that you would swear you were listening to a recording. This fellow, though, was very disturbed. One evening, as my Roomie and I had dates whom we were entertaining in the living room prior to going out to dinner, this roommate emerged from the basement, stark naked, dripping semen from his hands, exclaiming that he had just had sex with "Demons" He was removed the next day, his brother came to help him move out. He was sent to a rehabilitation facility, later, he became the first of any of my roommates to actually own a house - a townhouse in Manassas, so I suppose the rehab time allowed him to get his shit together.....

Second:

I had a Prostitute roommate. I didn't know she was turning tricks until my SO, who had a room of her own in the house, overheard a transaction. We then listened for more transactions. Her legit job was at a strip club, repaiing costumes. After she offered to "service" both my SO and I in lieu of rent that month, we asked her to stop turning tricks in the house. She was outraged and called us racists since it was traditional for African American women to use sex to obtain things like dental services (I swear this is true, my SO, Half African American, disputed her remark). She also introduced me to the smell of Crack Cocaine. Finally, after she had entertained two gentlemen, with her 4 year old son in the room, I threw her out. She threatened me, so I called her Parole Officer and gave him a recording of the phone conversation. She was reintroduced to prison and her Child was given over to her parents.


There were other "interesting" roommates, the exceptionally buff guy that would do Tai Chi nude in the back yard to the delight of the neighborhood Wives, when I evicted him for not paying rent for three months (the guy was an accomlished programmer who didn't like to work - yet he drove a BMW), the neighbors offered to pay his rent.... There was a series of local DC area punkers that came and went, my SO worked with Dischord. These folks were always fun.....

[Mutley]

11. Okay, the first and second... bad.

Wow.

The third, other than the rent thing, what was the problem again? :evilgrin:

[Burma Jones]

15. I just said he was "interesting" not bad

I just wished he would have paid the rent.....

[Mutley]

24. Ah, okay.

Yes, quite interesting. :P

[MadHound]

6. Had an ex Marine for a roommate once

Working my way through college as a vet assistant, one of the benefits was free room in the laarge apartment above the vet hospital. Trouble was it came with a roommate. This guy was an ex-Marine, about 5'9", and easily intimidated my 6'5". Lazy SOB, I was constantly picking up his slack around the hospital. One time I called him on it and he storms out, OK, fine with me. This guy apparently went out and decided to go get some courage out of a bottle. After drinking a few, he comes back and starts threatening me, how tough he is, how he was in the Marines, how he could easily kill me yadda yadda. Then he takes a swing at me, trying to kill me by breaking off my nose bone and driving it into my brain. Well, due to too much alcohol, he misses and hits my upper lip. Then he steps back and pulls out two butterfly knives and starts trying to wave them around in an intimidating way. Well his grip on one was not secure and it went flying, and I knocked the other one out of his hand, delivering a couple of other get blows in the process. Well, he couldn't stick around for that and proceeded to flee the premises. I picked up the knives, went to the local cop hang-out a block away and proceded to tell an officer what just transpired.

The cops picked him up and ran him in, but the charges didn't amount to much and he was out on bail. Being that this fool was distantly related to my boss, he didn't receive any repurcussions at the vet hospital, and in fact shortly thereafter I was falsely accused of stealing money from the safe downstairs(like I even knew the combination:eyes:). Well, I packed my stuff and moved on, only to hear from my former boss a year later, his golden boy had been caught red-handed with his hand in the safe, been fired, and they wanted me back. Well, I had already moved on, had a place all to myself, and didn't want to go through that kind of hassle again. I accepted his apology and politely declined his offer, but had to laugh for the rest of the day.

Never have been big on roommates, and have avoided them as much as possible. It isn't that all my experiences with them were bad, but enough so that I swore off of them long ago.

[Mutley]

12. Don't you just love 'tough guys' like that?

:eyes:

Not all my roommate experiences were bad, either, but after pee/dildo girl, never again.

[Loonman]

13. I have lived with and now refuse to live with in the future

Actors
Artists
New Agers
Hippies
Communists
Dramatic, angsty, artsy types
Born-agains

[kmla]

16. That leaves you with few choices...

I think the only ones left are computer programmers, and trash collectors.

And used car salesmen.

[Loonman]

21. Well, they pay their bills on time

Without excuses. Hell, I'll room with Pol Pot if he paid the rent and the bills, in full, all the time.

[hunter]

97. I shared a house with a bunch of guys, one a used car salesman.

He got his phone disconnected, and the phone company wouldn't recconnect it, so he tapped into my phone line.

I found out when I opened my bill and it was almost $400 -- mostly calls to his girlfriend on the east coast he made while I was at work.

[Mutley]

20. Lol, this girl was none of those things.

She was a Republican from a fairly well-to-do family. The closest she came to any of thse was the fact that she was a pothead. But smoking pot is not limited to hippies.

[Patiod]

64. I live with an actor, and I'd agree

Been with him for 13 years. Weird hours, friends who come to visit and stay until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning (because they don't have to be at "work" until 4:00 pm) inconsistant finances, not a good scene.

He's my S.O., and has other good qualities or I would get another roommate...

[tigereye]

100. I've lived with all of those except born-agains

there really wasn't a problem.

[Hardrada]

108. I'm glad you left out anarchists.

I'm one but I always made my bed and paid my share of the rent!

[TK421]

17. I would have this person's head on a pike....how the hell did you put

up with this shit? What did you do about your belongings after the fire? Did you hold her responsible for it? Seems like you have the patience of a saint:crazy:

[Mutley]

22. Well, she and my SO had it out many times...

but I tend to avoid confrontation. I end up getting all emotional and flustered, and can't really make my point. Until the fire, though, we were trapped with her in the lease.

I couldn't hold her responsible because the fire marshal deemed the fire the fault of the apartment complex due to a faulty outlet. Which I suppose is likely another reason why they let us out of the lease early.

[MountainLaurel]

18. Oh heavens, where do I begin?

#1 K, a nice person but one who let her boyfriend move into the apartment after I had graduated and moved to DC for a job, but who continued to let me pay half of the rent despite knowing how hard it was for me financially to pay rent in two places.

#2 P, who was the fourth of 13 children and was living out of the home for the first time in her mid-20s. After having to raise most of her younger siblings (along with her older sister), she was a little bitter and had decided that she was done cooking and cleaning. Even after herself. She survived on pizza and cereal for the most part, had dirty dishes all over her living area (she had the basement suite, through which we had to tromp to get to the laundry room), and had to be forced to be responsible for occasionally taking out the trash (this was in a group house of four people). When she left, she didn't clean anything. The mold on her shower curtain could be measured in thickness.

#3 R, who within a couple months of moving in got involved with a guy she met on the Net. He lived three hours away, and she would drive down after school let out and return the next morning before she had to be there. So, she was always sleep deprived and half insane, particularly after she found out that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his child. The kicker was when he was up visiting, as were our other roommate's parents and friends of the family. She and her betrothed (she had to buy her own engagement ring because he was perenially broke) decided to have loud, roof-caving-in sex knowing full well that her roommate's parents and friends were in the room below. Luckily, the two men were deaf, but the women were all pretty appalled at how crude it was.

#4 Ri, a former sorority girl whose boyfriend spent four out of seven nights at our house because it was closer to his office. They would take up the shared bathroom for an hour at a time, leaving me on a couple mornings to wear my glasses to work because they were in the middle of a 45-minute post-coital shower (she was a good Catholic girl who had to scrub off the sin) and I couldn't get my contacts. That lasted until the day I spent two hours in there. :evilgrin: When we told her that he was going to have to pony up utilities money because he was there so often and our water consumption had doubled, she started spouting crocodile tears and a story about her grandmother dying. Then she decided to move out without telling us: We found out when people started calling about the For Rent ad in the paper. And then she decided not to move out. Four months later she moved out again without giving us more than two day's notice. Also, she didn't refill the toilet paper roll in the years she was there. Not once.

#5 I, a party girl who was living outside of her strict religious home for the first time and had no idea about the etiquette of being a roommate, like not tromping up the stairs in your hootchie shoes at 4 a.m. on a weeknight, making sure your pimp wannabe boyfriend didn't park in the neighbor's spot (we rolled with laughter after he got towed from the fire lane), and not leaving your wet laundry to mildew for a week.

[Mutley]

25. Sounds very pleasant -- all of them.

In #4, did the BF ever end up paying the utilities?

[MountainLaurel]

28. No.

One of the other roommates was swayed by her sob story, which left it at 2-2. However, he suddenly stopped coming over so often.

Coincidence? I think not.

[Mutley]

30. You know, even if her sob story was true

what the hell does it have to do with her and her BF using all the water? :shrug: That would have killed me.

[MountainLaurel]

35. Absolutely nothing

But she was the sort of woman who was used to batting her eyelashes and looking cute in order to get out of trouble. She didn't realize that it wasn't going to work on heterosexual women.

Incidentally, a couple years later I ran into her and the BF (now the husband) on the subway in DC on New Year's Eve. I was with the roommate who had brought up paying for utilities. She completely ignored my roommate despite the fact that she was standing a foot away while talking to me.

[Mutley]

38. Lovely. What a b*tch!

I've yet to run into my nasty ex-roomie, but if I do, I doubt I'll hold back as I used to.

[Missy Vixen]

89. Preach it!

>the sort of woman who was used to batting her eyelashes and looking cute in order to get out of trouble. She didn't realize that it wasn't going to work on heterosexual women.<

This drives me INSANE. The other thing that makes me completely lose my patience is a woman who uses tears to manipulate.

There, I've said it. Now I'll have to turn in my feminist card.

Julie

[Missy Vixen]

19. I can't top that story

but I can talk about the collection of roommates I had before I met DH. I finally got a place by myself because I couldn't take it anymore.

I had a roommate that was obsessed with the color and scent of peach. To this day, I can't have anything peach in our house. My next roommate seemed fairly normal till I moved in. Things were okay till she met the person who's now her husband. He liked to steal things and store them at our apartment. When he wasn't doing that, they were having the loudest sexual encounters I (and probably several other people,) have had the experience of hearing. They usually didn't get started till, oh, 2 AM on a weeknight. She liked to scream. She made so much noise that the building manager came to talk to them about it more than once. Her boyfriend's response to the neighbors' complaints was to apply a used condom to every doorknob in the building one day. I think I moved out less than 24 hours later. Fast forward through various and sundry other roommates; the last straw was a woman I went to high school with. She didn't move out of her parents' house till she was 30. Consequently, her mom was at the apartment round the clock crying and trying to convince her to move back home.

My roommates now are DH and the kitties. Phew.

Julie

[Mutley]

26. I will never have a roommate again unless it is my absolute last

option. I think I would choose being homeless before I chose to live with a roommate again. Lol, my sister would have sexual encounters with some of her boyfriend's like that when we still both lived with our parents. :puke:

[Missy Vixen]

32. What is it with these people?

>would choose being homeless before I chose to live with a roommate again<

Isn't this the truth?

>my sister would have sexual encounters with some of her boyfriend's like that when we still both lived with our parents<

I don't get it. My sister did the same thing. Thankfully, I had moved out by that point. (Can I tell you that my parents would have KILLED me for the same behavior?)

Without turning this into the dreaded sex thread, :woohoo: I'm into privacy.

:blush:
Julie

[Mutley]

34. LMAO! Me, too.

My parents would have killed me, but I was the 'good one' (until I moved out, at least :evilgrin: ). They expected that sort of thing from her.

[Missy Vixen]

43. Mutley, you and I must have a lot in common

>but I was the 'good one'<

Tell. Me. About. It.

I was the world's most boring teenager. I was so invested in being a good girl and never stepping one toe over the parental line. The most rebellious thing I did was go to college 50 miles from home and live there. My sister did EVERYTHING I didn't do, and I mean everything, and they turned a blind eye. (My father used to complain about how much time I spent reading, for God's sake.)

Now, I'm the world's most boring adult. :eyes: I suppose I should be thankful.

Julie

[Mutley]

48. I did a few rebellious things.

Things as horrid as coming home 15 minutes after curfew, and having a friend over to watch TV when my parents weren't home. My parents didn't have a problem with how much time I spent reading, except that sometimes when I was really into a book I wouldn't do my homework.

I really went berserk when I went to college, though. Man, oh man. I spent a few years catching up with my sister on the 'bad girl' front. Now, I'm right there with you on the world's most boring adult thing, complete with going to bed before 10pm on most nights. :P My sister is still a bad girl.

[Missy Vixen]

76. I'm with you

>Now, I'm right there with you on the world's most boring adult thing, complete with going to bed before 10pm on most nights.<

It's too hard to get up and go to work the next day if we all don't get some sleep!

>Things as horrid as coming home 15 minutes after curfew, and having a friend over to watch TV when my parents weren't home.<

I did this kind of stuff, too.

Here's to the boring chicks. :toast: We don't have as many good stories, but we still have most of our brain cells ;-).

Julie

[Mutley]

78. To boring chicks!

:toast:

Except I lost quite a few brain cells during my berserk years. :blush:

[Patiod]

68. I think you're fun!

Not boring - I know for a fact that you've done shots of Chinaco Anejo Tequila.

[Missy Vixen]

75. God bless you, Patiod

>I know for a fact that you've done shots of Chinaco Anejo Tequila.<

I did do that, didn't I? You were there, too! I'm only sorry that you weren't at our house on New Year's Eve. We didn't drink Chinaco, but there was quite a bit of better champagne consumed. ;-) I also got scolded by the police chief of our town recently for blasting my car stereo. (I was listening to "Back In Black". One must listen to that at shatter level, or it's just not as good, is it?) DH is much more interesting than I am. I'll have to get him to start posting, then he can tell all of his secrets in the Lounge!

For the most part, though, I'm pretty boring. ;-) Really. Other women have crushes on guys like Brad Pitt and Colin Farrell. I have a crush on a federal prosecutor. Other people go out clubbing on the weekend. We stay home and watch DVD's instead, or have our friends over to play games. We're all exhausted by 11 PM.

God help me ;-).
Julie

[fudge stripe cookays]

141. Rock on, Jules!

We're going to have to have a beer if and when I ever get up there.

I ALSO have a visceral hatred of anything even remotely scented peach; said hatred also deriving from an old roommate.

For this reason, I also hate the scents of "Sand and Sable" and Estee Lauder's "Beautiful." :puke:

We're both lucky to have the SOs and beloved pets as our only company nowadays.

fsc

PS- Edited to add: I was a boring bookworm girl too! Until after college, when I rebelled a little too much. :blush:

[Strawman]

27. One of my best friends' first college roommate in the dorms

was this pig farmer kid from West Virginia. He was also a fundie who listened to Xtian rock in the room alot. He wasn't a bad guy, but he was socially retarded. He would go around the room tapping on shit while this Xtian rock played and he thought it was cool. It was very annoying, but you didn't want to be mean and hurt his feelings. He thought he was really rocking out. He had a washcloth that he hung in his bunk that was odd. And his mom literally carried a Bible with her in the crook of her arm at all times. My friend and I witnessed this on move in day.

One time early on my some friends and I came over to drink and play cards in my friend's room. The roommate didn't ask us not to drink or play cards (both were probably a no no to him) or anything. If he had, we would have went to another room. He just left and rented a hotel room. Apparently on the walk to the hotel room, he discovered porn because came back with a few mags the next day. Not even Playboy. More like the really nastyass ones with names describing specific acts that you'd find on the rack in a dumpy party store.

He had the sexual maturity of about a nine year old. And lots of questions for my friend too. One day he popped his head up into my sleeping friend's top bunk and asked him what he would do if he woke up and "some girl wuz suckin on it?"

Not a bad guy, but not exactly what you're hoping for in a college roommate when you have to go into the dorms blind. They were tripled, in that room so eventually the roommate moved out later in the term.

[Mutley]

29. ..."some girl wuz suckin on it?"

Nice. :rofl: At least he didn't have any stories about a goat being his first girlfriend.

[Whoa_Nelly]

66. Would that washcloth have been...

a PRAYER washcloth for washing away his sinful dreams? :rofl:

[ucmike]

31. my first college roommate was bad

-didn't pay his phone bill, resulting in me not being able to use the phone although my bill was paid. this was a college dorm, we had one phone line, but seperate accounts. for some reason when one bill was delinquent they shut off the line, not the individual account. i reasoned with him, begged him, mentioned it to his parents, and tried to get the admin involved-their response, "you're adults now, work it out" (i was 25, he was 18). eventually, i mildly threatened violence and he got money from his mom.

-sat in the room eating jars of peanut butter with his fingers. then when he was done, he wouldn't wash his hand, he'd just wipe it on something and go about his business. he averaged one big jar of finger licked peanut butter a week.


-in the middle of the phone bill dispute i came into our room and found he had bought and set up a 50 gallon fish tank with a piranha. this was hundreds of dollars of aquarium, and his phone bill was still unpaid. 2 days later he moved into his girlfriends apartment and i'd only see him in class, but he showed up and dumped 12 feeder goldfish into the tank occasionally while i was out. the piranha would eat a few and kill the rest, they accumlated in the filter until one day i came back and the room smelled of rotting fish. this happened a couple times, i was forced to clean out the filter so i could live in the room. eventually i got tired of it, and scooped the piranha into a cooler and sold it back to the pet store where he bought it for $40. the next time he came back with feeders i was there. he asked where his piranha went and i told him it died and i threw it away. of course, i kept the $40.

[Mutley]

36. ..

"-sat in the room eating jars of peanut butter with his fingers. then when he was done, he wouldn't wash his hand, he'd just wipe it on something and go about his business. he averaged one big jar of finger licked peanut butter a week."

Gross. :puke: I at least use a spoon. :P

I would've kept the $40, too, and whatever valuables he might have had as well. Whatever added up to the phone bill.

[ucmike]

40. i couldn't pay his phone bill if i wanted to

because it was his account. it was really frustrating.

his girlfriend sat in the room one night waiting for him, (he was screwing around with a girl at the other dorms). she was hungry and started eating fruit flavored tums (the big ones). i watched her eat at least 8 of them before i mentioned they weren't candy. she said, "i know, its okay". then ate the rest of the jar. she probably ate 25-30 of them in 30 minutes.

[Mutley]

42. WTF?

She didn't get a stomach ache? I had the world's worst case of indigestion one day and ate about 15 Tums in a 24 hour period. My stomach was killing me after that (worse than the indigestion :crazy: ).

[ucmike]

56. i would imagine she was messed up

probably had a lump of clay in her stomach. she was a mess, she would use half a roll of tp every time she went into the bathroom. i have no idea what she was doing with it all. it got to the point where i kept tp hidden under my bed because she used so much of it. when there was none they would never go get any from the dorm desk either, which was free for the asking. my roommate never got tp, i never gave him any, but he kept using the bathroom. i don't know what he was doing, because he didn't shower enough to compensate for not having tp. maybe he used his socks or something.

[fudge stripe cookays]

142. I wonder...

if your buddy knew that piranhas are illegal in this country? :eyes:

[jmowreader]

37. One of my troops had some real winners

This was such a good guy, you had to feel sorry for him because of his string of bad luck. For some reason, all the eight-balls in the company wound up in this man's room.

We finally gave this guy his own room because...

Roommate 1 was going through a bad patch at home. Home was 7700 miles away, so naturally he couldn't do much about it from where he was. The guy eventually totally cracked. My guy knocks on my door on Sunday morning: "I want a new roommate. Right now. The one I have pissed in his wall locker, then got in bed with me and went to sleep." So we called the CO and got this guy checked into Mental Hygiene over at the hospital.

Roommate 2 had two girlfriends, and they really enjoyed three-way sex. Loud three-way sex. In the barracks. You could hear them outside, it was that bad. My guy finally had enough when he HAD to get something out of his locker, walked in on them and they asked if he wanted to join in. We called the colonel over that one and he responded by separating the three...one to the 2nd Infantry Division in Korea, one to Fort Hood and one to Fort Stewart. These are not nice places to get sent.

Roommate 3 (RM3) was the straw that broke this camel's back. RM3 liked to worship the devil in his room. We told RM3 over and over, you can't worship the devil in your room because the candles violate the Berlin Brigade fire safety regulation. RM3 kept doing it because he didn't have anywhere else to go. Fortunately, we had an empty room to move my guy into (he decided he wanted to move on the off chance that the room was haunted) and we found a satanic cult downtown whose activities didn't violate army regulations for RM3 to join. They didn't do drugs or anything like that, so we figured they were okay. Turns out they were really a fun group.

[Mutley]

39. So, how come your guy didn't join in?

:evilgrin:

But really, that is some bad luck. Poor guy probably never wants roommates again, either.

[jmowreader]

101. My guy had a really nice girlfriend

When we closed the unit, I was so glad to see that the Army had fucked up and sent both of them to Fort Stewart. They're probably married now.

[bikebloke]

41. I'll sleep in a ditch before returning to group living.

No matter how cooperative and communal of group you have, there's always one who's a fucking jerk. I finally gave up on group living situations. It was so bad, that my wee little studio flat is now my sanctuary. Nobody is welcome to come by. And should I resume dating, I'll have to be very serious to bring them by my place...but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

The last straw had been when I brought someone home for the night. The next day, one of my flatmates said,"But you've only known her two weeks."

[Mutley]

49. Lol, "you've only known her two weeks."

:rofl:

"my wee little studio flat is now my sanctuary. Nobody is welcome to come by."

I'm the same way. The only people who've seen my apartment since August are my parents, and that's only because they helped me move in.

[sarahinmexico]

44. Wow

That one should be in the "from hell hall of fame" if one exists.

I've had very good luck with ex-roommates compared to the scum that some of you have lived with.

I did have one that was very kind for the most part if a little self centered, however on one occasion during a house meeting, she complained about the cooking done by our Vietnamese roommate by stating "I like eating at Chinese restaurants, but that doesn't mean I want to live in one." Our jaws dropped collectively. Kudos to roommate #2 who decided roommate #1 was too small minded to argue with.

[Mutley]

50. That is messed up.

"I like eating at Chinese restaurants, but that doesn't mean I want to live in one." :wow: Sounds like she needed a good punch in the face by said Vietnamese roommate.

[sarahinmexico]

58. That's what we thought

However the 3 of us, sans the self-centered one, laugh about her small-mindedness to this day.:D

[Mutley]

60. I would, too.

Welcome to DU, BTW. :hi:

[sarahinmexico]

63. Thanks

I'm so glad I found you guys!!:bounce:

[Mutley]

65. I was giddy when I found DU.

Before that, I felt like me and my Dad were the only liberals on the planet.

[sarahinmexico]

73. Absolutely

In this case my husband, my mom the occasional co-worker and myself.

[cally]

45. I moved into an apartment with two other women

that I didn't know. I found out that one was a prostitute whose pimp hung at our place most nights. The other one had one lover who abused her and another lover who was a male prostitute who also hung at our place. I spent as little time as possible at this apartment and always locked the door to my room. One day, a new date came to pick me up at the apartment. The prostitute walks out with a half open robe and nothing else. The first time she has ever done this. :eyes:

The next quarter the prostitute moves out and a very naive Viet Nam refugee moves in. Her foster parents were cops. So, she brings them to our place with no warning on the same day one of the roommates is moving in a five foot tall pot plant she had been given. :shrug: I tried to talk my way out of that one while the pot plant was whisked to somewhere else. I was happy to move out after that quarter.

Nothing as bad as you experienced but I was much more careful with who I lived with after that.

[Mutley]

52. Lol!

:rofl: D'Oh! on the pot plant thing. I think I can thank whoever that my roommate wasn't a prostitute. She was so disgusting no one would sleep with her (hence the need for the 'back massager').

[distantearlywarning]

46. My worst roommate:

I only lived with her for a month while I was a sophomore in college, but that was long enough.

I needed a room to rent, and she had an ad up at the college. When I went to look at the apartment, she seemed like a normal young woman, and the apartment seemed clean and like it was in a good area. There wasn't much furniture in the place, but that didn't seem weird or anything at the time. After I moved in, I started noticing some other things about her. For one thing, she had a drinking problem. Every night she would go down to the corner convienence store and pick up a six pack and then drink it in the living room. The weird part? There was no TV, and no books. So she would just sit there for several hours looking at the wall drinking beer. The whole six pack at a time.

She also turned out to be a wacko fundie type, but this only came out when she was drinking (apparently the six-pack a night habit didn't seem sinful to her or something). One night I came home after about beer 4 or 5 and she grabbed me and told me this entire long drunken rambling story about how the neighbors were demons and she had to call the police on them the month before because they were possessed. OOOOOkkkkaaay.... That freaked me out quite a bit, and that's when I started to think about maybe moving again. And she would talk to me about getting saved constantly and how I was sinful, and that pissed me off. She also made strange phone calls in the middle of the night in her room where she would talk and laugh in a weird way, and that was creeping me out too.

A few nights after the demon incident, she told me that she'd been arrested a few months prior because she assaulted a police officer. She also informed me that she didn't have a job and that her parents were taking care of her (at age 23 or so? WTF?) It was a few days after that that I happened to look in her room when she wasn't there, and discovered the unsettling fact that THERE WAS NO PHONE IN HER ROOM! All of those weird late night phone calls that went on for hours were her talking and laughing to HERSELF in there!!!

I called my parents about 5 minutes after that and told them to come get me. My dad helped me pack up my stuff and I left her a note telling her why I moved out. I did not leave a forwarding address or tell her where I was moving to. I moved out because I was seriously afraid of her. I was afraid that she would decide that I was ungodly or demon-possessed or something and murder me in my bed one night. The weirdest thing about this girl was that she had a very tidy apartment and personal appearance, and seemed so normal when she wasn't drinking. If you met her on the street, you would never ever guess that she was like that at home. You would think she was just a nice quiet Christian girl. :scared:

A few years later I was working as a social worker and noticed her name on a coworkers file. I read the file (I know, bad me) and discovered that she had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and had been declared totally disabled and unable to work by the state. She also had quite an arrest record, with several assaults, public intoxication, DUI, etc.) My mother sent me a newspaper clipping a few years later, after I had moved out of state, in which she was in the police log because she had pulled down her pants and urinated in the middle of a local bar and then assaulted the bouncer who tried to throw her out. Yikes!

It occurs to me while reading over this that this might be one of the things that my intolerance of crazy fundieness stems from. This roommate. That crazy God Warrior lady on Trading Spouses really set me off when I watched it and maybe it's because she reminded me of this roommate. I do feel sorry for this girl, because she was obviously mentally ill, but she also really scared me and kind of screwed up my life at a bad time because of her craziness. Ugh. Even thinking about this girl creeps me out...

[Mutley]

53. Wow.

That's all I can say is, wow. :wow: I think you win, even with my fire story. My ex-roommate was just a selfish slob. Yours was psycho! :scared: I would've been afraid of being murdered, too.

[distantearlywarning]

67. I know!

It sounds like a made-for-TV movie, doesn't it? Like something that would be on Lifetime for Women. But I moved out before the story could get to the dramatic part where she tried to put an icepick through my heart in the middle of the night. That girl was scary. (After writing this, I got curious and googled her to see what's happened to her now, but couldn't find anything. Maybe she got institutionalized or went to jail or something).

But I don't know if she tops yours or not. I think any roommate that burned down the apartment might just automatically win hands down.

[Mutley]

72. I don't know, lol.

She talked on the phone in the middle of the night a lot, but she was actually talking on the phone. :rofl:

[rbnyc]

47. I had a college roommate who was such a slob...

...she ashed her cigarettes on the floor. She would throw her garbage on the floor. Laundry everywhere.

Once I came home and she was sitting on the pile of trash on the floor with her friends doing lines of coke from a textbook balanced on the trash and laundry. As I walked across, the book shook and bounced because the whole floor was one adjoined sea of trash, and they yelled at me to be careful not to spill their coke.

I moved out the next day.

[Mutley]

54. Eww.

"the whole floor was one adjoined sea of trash"

Okay, my roommate's mess was never that bad, except maybe in her room. That's just gross.

[ZombieNixon]

51. Wow. I am so lucky.

My roommate is clean, polite, smart, and best of all, goes home to visit his family on the weekends.

Apart from occasionally smoking pot in the bathroom and being a slight slob (slight, no month old food on the floor or anything), my suitemates are real cool, too. They usually hit cleaning the bathroom before I get to it!

[Mutley]

55. Keep them forever!

I'm coming to believe that 'normal' roommates are a rare luxury.

[sarahinmexico]

61. Lucky you

Decent people are, at times, surprisingly hard to come by!;)

[KamaAina]

62. OK, so this woman blows into New Orleans from Mississippi

living in her station wagon (they still had those in the early '90s). One of my feminist/clinic defense friends, who ran sort of a freelance women's shelter out of her home (!) down the block, found her. Turns out the woman is a stone alky, and there are kids in the house, so it's off to the spacious rear bedroom of the man who years later would become KamaAina.

Not 24 hours would pass before I got a plaintive phone call informing me that Ms. Alky had run the station wagon up over a pole (!) over at Xavier University, a couple of miles away. !Caramba!

I don't really remember much after that; it was all a blur of weepy scenes, slurred soliloquies and the like. One that does stand out was the scene at perhaps the sleaziest bar in New Orleans (!!), in the now gentrified Lee Circle area, in which La Lush was berating this guy she liked for being away for a couple of weeks. Turns out he worked offshore on an oil rig. That's how it works: two weeks on, two weeks off. What do you think, they commute out there every day?!

A few weeks later she was gone, who knows where. Figures. My one and only female roommate, and it has to be her. :puke:

[Mutley]

70. Aww, poor thing.

Too bad she wasn't a hot sex maven. :evilgrin:

On a side note, I like the way you use exclamation points in parenthesis (!) in the middle of sentences. I think I should start doing that. :D

[JVS]

92. She sounds like she belongs in the novel "A Confederacy of Dunces"

[KamaAina]

95. The woman who referred her to me said I'd make a great Ignatius

in fact, on the New Orleans rebuilding boards that have been making a serious dent in my DU time of late, I am known as "Ignatius J. Reilly" or whatever variant thereof the software will permit.

So yeah, I can easily see what you mean. My Mom, who had not read "Dunces" at the time, used to talk about all the "Damon Runyon-esque characters" I knew down there.

[JVS]

96. I wouldn't take that as a compliment, dude! Ignatius is a douche

[KamaAina]

99. Ignatius is not a douche so stop saying that! He's just misunderstood.

Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps, Tucker Carlson, George Will and of course Bob Novak, the "Douchebag of Liberty" -- all are douches supreme. Ignatius isn't even close to being in their league. What self-respecting douche would ever attempt to organize the "Crusade for Moorish Dignity"? :-)

Apparently Ignatius is misunderstood by a fair portion of the reading public as well as by everyone in the novel itself. Somehow I think Toole would have understood...

[JVS]

107. The man advocates a monarchy and is a total nincompoop

He also would fit in well with Mel Gibson in his rejection of Vatican II. He fetishized the middle ages to a disturbing extent. The "crusade for moorish dignity" was a ruse to lead to his establishment of a monarchy.

[Patiod]

74. I have been REALLY lucky

- 1st college roommate: a senior who spent 90% of the time at her boyfriend's apartment. She owned about 2 dresses, 2 blouses, 2 pair of jean, 2 sweaters, and a coat. I always assumed she was really really poor, then someone told me her parents owned a huge resort in the Poconos (which was true).

- 2nd college roommate - currently one of my best friends. Never laughed so much or so often in my life (and it wasn't just the dope)

- Sorority roommate #1 - nice, but anorexic. Had to call her mother and tell her that H wasn't eating. I watched her boyfriend pick her up one day and break two of her ribs in the process. You can't eat nothing but lettuce leaves without dressing and expect strong bones. She kept her virginity until she got married, and then went through 4 husbands.

- SRM #2- Lovely sweet girl, but got drunk at a fraternity mixer once and threw up strawberry daiquiris all over herself and the room. I had to get her up, clean her off, put her in fresh jammies, put her in my bed, and then wash everything. To this day, the smell of strawberries makes me want to throw up

- SRM #3 Hated me. The phone rang every 10 minutes because she was an editor at the school newspaper. To get away from the phone, she would go to the library to study. I preferred to study in my room, without the distractions of other people around me, plus I was mostly writing reports which had to be typed. In pre-answering-machine days, I used to unplug the phone when she left rather than take messages all night. She HATED that, and told me I was a total bitch for doing it. I told her no one would be around to answer it if I went to the library or the sorority suite to study, so what was the difference, but she refused to speak to me after that.

In real life, had 2 apartment roommates who were good eggs, although one was flaky

- One told me I was so scarily White that I needed some schooling in "Black 101", and she was going to be the teacher. This could have been obnoxious, but she was so funny and so imaginative she could have done stand-up, so it ended up being wildly entertaining. We could have lived together happily for years, except that her boyfriend was living at our place 9-5, which I didn't find out until I came home from work one day sick, and there he was. At night, he lived out of his mother's Cadillac, which had a cellphone, or with his White girlfriend. I thought he looked and smelled too good to be living all the time in his car. We used to call him "the richest homeless person ever."

The Flake was my best friend K from high school. I came back to the apartment one day to eat lunch to find that she had gone off to work 1) with the apartment door wide open 2) A/C blasting 3) toaster oven on, with a breadbag baked to the top of it. Months later she was living in D.C., and complaining that her current roommate Michelle was so crazy "she puts her initials on all her eggs, in crayon!!!" I said I couldn't blame Michelle, and that if K ever bought any food, instead of living off her roommates' food, "people wouldn't have to write on their eggs." We're still friends.

Current roommate smokes week, stays up all night, and plays Quantum Leap episodes over and over. Craziest one yet, and still around after 13 years. He's a hunk - what can I say?

[Mutley]

77. Lol, I've had a friend try to school me in "Black 101"

but I failed miserably. She said I'm the whitest white person she's ever met. I said she was the whitest black person I'd ever met, so we were even. And she didn't even get mad. :)

I used to watch Quantum Leap all the time. :blush: Good to know I'm not the only one.

[Patiod]

80. I used to be able to tell the race of the people she was talking to

on the phone by how she adjusted her accent.

She took me to see "School Daze" once, but first asked
"You ever been to a movie with black people?"
"Of course I have!"
"No, not some black people - a lot of black people."
"Uh, no, I guess not"
"Well, I should warn you, then. We consider the movies interactive entertainment."

She wasn't kidding, but it was still fun. Not sure I could deal with a vocal audience at a "heavy" movie, but "School Daze" was goofy, so it added to the entertainment.

[UncleSepp]

94. I LOVE that!

I must have a black part of me when it comes to watching movies. The running commentary is the best part!

[Xithras]

79. I hope this doesn't get pulled: We called him King Come.

In college, I had a roomate who liked to have sex EVERYWHERE with is girlfriend. On the leather couch, on the dining room table, on the kitchen counter, on the coffee table, on THE FRIGGING TV SET, on the bathroom counter next to our toothbrushes!!

My other roomate and I didn't care that he was getting sex so regularly, our problem was that he REFUSED to wear condoms and constantly left his "drippings" everywhere :puke: :puke: :puke: He never cleaned up after himself...EVER. We also found out the hard way (by walking in on him) that he was a chronic masturbator and that he'd just "shoot" onto the carpet in his room whenever he was done. We NEVER went into his bedroom again after discovering that (after he moved out, we discovered that the carpet was actually crunchy and paid to have it professionally cleaned).

He was finally thrown out when the building super caught him and his girlfriend going at it in the complex laundromat. It was apparently the third time he'd been caught OUTSIDE of our apartment, and the super basically told us to get rid of him or he'd get rid of us all. He was out two days later.

Other than that, my roomates have been fairly cool. I've had some lazy SOB's and some potheads that never accomplished anything, but they weren't bad guys and weren't overly disgusting about it.

[Mutley]

81. Gross gross gross gross!!!

Crunchy carpets?!? :puke: :puke:

Oh, man. I didn't put in the story about my ex-roomie's friend f-ing her boyfriend on my favorite chair, but that story pales in comparison to yours. :puke:

[Xithras]

82. Yep, crunchy next to his bed.

He'd badically lay on his bed to do his thing, and when he finished he'd just roll onto his side to shoot it out onto the floor.

What was hilarious, of course, was the carpet guy when he was cleaning it. We told him that it had belonged to an evicted roomate, but we didn't tell him what it actually was. The guy came tromping down the stairs half an hour later complaining about how we should have told him if there was glue or something on the carpet. He DID get it all out, but the texture was never the same in that spot.

Even funnier, we rented the room out to another guy (my other roomates cousin) a week later. He FREAKED when we told him why the carpet had that odd spot in the middle and bought an area rug to cover the whole center of the room. It didn't matter that the carpet had been cleaned, he didn't want to even TOUCH that spot. That area rug stayed there through three additional roomates, until we finally gave the apartment up for good.

[Mutley]

83. I feel sorry for whoever moved in there after you.

:rofl:

[JVS]

91. Hey, that was ME!

Oh wait, no it wasn't. But I knew someone who is reputed to have done the carpet thing. People called him puddles behind his back

[Missy Vixen]

93. Okay, you win

>our problem was that he REFUSED to wear condoms and constantly left his "drippings" everywhere<

And here I thought my ex-roommate's boyfriend festooning the front doorknobs of everyone in the apartment building with used condoms was bad...

:puke:
Julie

[Mutley]

110. Yeah.

He and the guy with the God Warrior roommate win. I'm glad mine wasn't the *worst*.

[fizzgig]

84. i have nothing as horrifying as what ive seen here

but i've still had some shitty roommates...

N: by sophomore yr of college my then-bf and i got a place with n, who'd been one of our best friends since jr high school. n had lived on his own before, and while he was always good with the bills, would not clean anything. i shared a bathroom with two boys who refused to clean it (i was carrying 17 credits and working two jobs, i did what i could, but that wasn't much); if the kitchen trash was full, he'd pile trash on top of or behind the can; he wouldn't do his dishes. he and i went in on a washer and dryer together, but i moved back in with my dad before the lease was up, so i let him keep it (i'd paid off my half). he, my bf and another one of our buddies got a new place and he didn't change his address on the best buy card...he defaulted on it...i wound up going over there one day and just taking the washer and dryer back, sold it and kept the $300 bucks. i guess he got even worse after i left. he got this new gf who was ALWAYS over...she even changed her address to the house, but they both said she shouldn't pay rent or utilities...they'd cook naked and leave huge messes (artichokes and eggs start to smell really bad after a few weeks); my bf dropped a pie n had bought on the floor, so he threw it out...he comes home from work that night, n had dug the pie out of the trash, put it in his bed and left a note saying my bf owed him a pie...

J: she was a friend of mine, so i figured it wouldn't be bad (i don't learn well sometimes) she went through five jobs in four months...she paid rent only three of the six months she was here, never cleaned (her bedroom was a cesspool of dishes, fast food trash beer cans, etc). because she didn't work, she'd eat all my food, smoke all my cigarettes and drink all my beer (she went through 25 cans of a 30 pack in two or three days), she'd bring strangers over at 3 or 4 in the morning (i don't ever bring strangers to my house) she'd clog the toilet and leave it, she'd leave her dirty dishes stacked on the counter for weeks/months and i don't think she ever cleaned anything ever. oh yeah, she didn't have her license, so she'd volunteer me to drive her around. when i finally kicked her out, she took all my silver ware and left all my dishes dirty. she still owes me $700 that i know i'll never see.

i hate living with people, although my bf isn't bad to live with. he cleans and pays the bills on time.

like my mom said, 'hey it's help with the rent plus nookie whenever you want.'

[Mutley]

114. J sounds a bit like mine...

without the fire. :D

[Senator Lamb]

85. I'm a college junior

my roomate my first two years of college became a police officer. The college then filled the empty space.

My roomate is now a 32 year old man. what the hell. he is weird too.

[JVS]

90. What's weird about him?

[Mutley]

111. Okay, that's just creepy.

I'd tell that dude to get an apartment. :scared:

[RandomKoolzip]

86. My roommate in New Orleans ( a total sleazebag)....

once crept into my room and stole twenty bucks out of my wallet (sitting on my bedside table) while I was sleeping, then tried to claim he did it as a warning NOT to leave my wallet out while I slept.

After he moved out, he also broke back into the apartment and stole my VCR.

Asshole.

[Mutley]

112. Lovely.

I'm lucky, mine only stole food. She never stole money or other stuff. That I know of.

[hunter]

87. Yep. I came here worried I might be reading about myself.

But apparantly I was only a mildly crazy roommate, so I'll tell my story myself.

I remember the police brought me home one night past midnight and the door of my apartment was locked. I didn't have a key, well, because I was wearing only my running shoes and shorts. My roommate was having some pretty intense sex with his girlfriend and you could hear them through the door, but the police officer knocked anyways.

My roommate answered the door, and the police officer asked him, "Um, does this guy live here?" My roommate was so pissed off I thought he was going to disown me, but his girlfriend, who was wrapped up in sheets by then, told the police officer I did, and they let me in.

[Mutley]

113. You're right, that is very mild.

;)

I wouldn't have considered you a bad roommate at all.

[hunter]

139. Ah, but wait, there's more...

For a couple of years I was an utter loon. I didn't talk much, and people who didn't know me probably thought I was some sort of feral animal street person. I was so skinny that complete strangers would sometimes offer me food, which was a good thing because sometimes I'd forget to eat. I was clean, but my entire wardrobe and a toothbrush fit in one paper sack.

Laundry day I'd change into one of my two pairs of running shorts (sometimes at the laundromat) stuff everything in the washing machine, go running, come back, put everything in the dryer, run or maybe swim, put it all back in my paper sack and then go off to shower. This might happen any time, day or night.

One horrible sad day somebody stole my paper sack, which I usually left folded somewhere inconspicuous in the Laundromat. I had to run down to the grocery store to get another one.

The thing that most upset some of my roommates was that I'd simply disappear for days at a time. The more conscientious ones would worry I was dead somewhere.

I had a girlfriend at the time (which turns out to be an even stranger story) and her mom always said I was retarded, often in front of my face.

"So, where are you and your retarded boyfriend off to?" she'd say.

"He's not retarded, mom."

I'd just smile.

[grateful581]

88. bad roommate story

I had a roommate who bar tended and then came home at 3am drunk off his ass. One night he got into a fight with his drunk friend on my front lawn at 3Am. The neighbors called the cops. I was fast asleep and had to get up to talk to cops about something I had nothing to do with.
I booted him out the next day.

And dirty dishes piss me off. I always end up with a roommate who can't do dishes.
One of my current roommates is a republican who can't do his own dishes. Just like a republican to leave a mess for someone else to clean up.

[Mutley]

115. "Just like a republican to leave a mess for someone else to clean up."

Ain't that the truth.
;)

[UncleSepp]

98. I once threatened to eat the pet of a roommate

My roomie had this pet rabbit. She'd built a cage for it out of chicken wire, and that sat in the center of the room between the two beds. Problem is, the cage didn't have a top, and the rabbit could get out of it. The rabbit would hop into my bed and PEE AND POOP IN IT!

After the third time I came home to a wet bed with bunny pellets in it, I told her that her furry friend would feed two by my estimation, and that if I found bunny crap in my bed again, the cute fuzzball was going to be deep fried. I also left her some information on some people who had placed an ad in the paper wanting to buy rabbits to breed them.

She got rid of the rabbit. Hell, she could have just fixed the cage.

I also had another roommate who had one of those perms to straighten her hair. It made her hair fall out copiously. The worst was the hair that would collect in the fan - it was gross! I told her that it was her job to clean the fan, not mine. She told me "everybody sheds hair, it's not just mine". That would've been a good argument, except that the hair in the fan was long and brown like hers, not like mine which was less than an inch long and blond.

[Mutley]

117. Ew. Not much grosses me out more than

clumped hair that belongs to other people. That and crunchy carpets (see upthread if you don't know what I'm talking about).

[UncleSepp]

134. I think the crunchy carpet trumps the clumpy hair... EW!

[Mutley]

135. That's what I said.

:puke:

[UrbScotty]

102. My frosh roomies were pretty close to each other, but not to me

All of them went to a party a couple weeks into the year, but I didn't feel like going. As it turned out, they talked for weeks about how much fun they had, probably because they all drank. Now, they were all old enough to drink - or, would have been old enough when the legal age was 18.

I found a beer can in our room one day. The following night, I was going to go to a party with them, but they all left without me. I tried to chase them down, but I had lost them. And guess what they did that night? They drank.

[Mutley]

118. Sounds like normal college students.

:)

[gmoney]

103. Ugh.

Had a college roommate that was thrust upon me because my scheduled roommate transferred out over summer.

I'll skip the details, but there were serious stoners on two sides of my room and they made a point of not scheduling classes until noon. I'd wake up, head off to my little 8AM class every day. Pretty soon, the stoners on either side were staying up hugely late, blasting the worst music they could and keeping me up. Took a while, but it turns out that as soon as I was going to class, my dread roomie would have his buddies over to the room and blast HIS music at top volume and they would dance and shout and shit early in the morning thus waking the stoners, so they were giving payback thinking *I* was the one blasting the music -- my roommie would stay out late at night so he didn't seem to take any of the abuse.

Very strange guy. His mom worked at a dry cleaners, so EVERY article of clothing he had was drycleaned, pressed, and bagged. A walking environmental disaster.

[Mutley]

119. That's gotta be one of the worst things about roommates...

the complete lack of consideration for the lifestyle of the person you're living with. I lived on campus with a girl who would come into the room in the middle of the night, turn on the very bright and noisy fluorescent light, and type away on AIM with the noisiest keyboard ever. I had 8am classes, too, at the time.

[chookie]

104. My favorite Roommate from Hell story

This happened to a dear friend of mine: He served in Viet Nam. When he returned, he went back to school and shared an apartment with a crazy man. The roommate was always asking him things like "How many babies did you kill?" and accusing him of committing atrocities. One day my friend came home to find a loaded gun on his bed, with a note saying "Do the honorable thing." Nice guy.

I had my share of wacky roommates. I lived with a zookeeper, which was a real trip, because he would bring wild animals home, let them loose in his room. He entered a period of his life in which he idolized Jim Morrison, and sought to emulate him not by writing great poetry and music, but frying his brain on acid and booze. He started spending nights away. I'd come home and turn on the answering machine to find a message from him to feed the whatever that was loose in his room. He would use my vacuum to clean up shit, which meant that my vacuum was clogged with shit all the time. Another time he put a dead bat in our freezer. He also had a lot of bad luck on the toilet, running out of paper. He would wrap a towel around his body and come to see me and ask me for some, totally unembarassed. I mean, it happened a LOT. He nearly burned the house down by running an electric heater on high to keep one of his animals warm, and skipping town for a few days -- that's when I wanted to skin him alive. He was a character.

[Mutley]

120. Wow.

On both of those. I'm anti-war, but I would never treat a veteran that way. And the animal guy -- I like animals, but damn.

[XemaSab]

105. I've had a few....

I had the roommate who left his wet umbrella on top of my stack of library books, I had the borderline roommate who would SCREAM at me for leaving hairs on the bathroom floor (my hair is curly and brown, her hair was curly and brown), I had the slob who would cook HUGE dinners every night and leave both sinks piled so full of dirty dishes that no more dishes could be washed, I had the gun nut, I had the slutty roommate who tried to seduce half the house (male and female alike), I had the roommate who DID NOT GET that I had to be to work at 3 AM every morning and blasted his TV until midnight, I had the psychotic who saw Satan in the bathroom mirror, but one stands above them all:

Monica.

The first day in the house I went into the bathroom, and I noticed that the bathroom cabinet was CRAMMED with psych meds. CRAMMED I tell ya.

She was a total slob... unreal... never cleaned anything, and she had two cats. She'd wear clothes reeking of sweat and covered in cat pee. She would shower once a week for 5 minutes and there would be an ALLUVIAL FAN of dirt on the bottom of the bathtub. She was bulemic and would eat, like, a whole pizza at a sitting. She ate mayonnaise out of the jar. She was so gross I pretty much stopped eating. It got to the point where I would eat, like, a packet of ramen a day.

The kitchen was FILTHY. The thing that basically pushed me over the edge into semi-anorexia was the time I went to go get a bowl off the dish rack. There was a piece of cellophane draped over the top of the clean dishes. I went to go move it and realized TO MY HORROR that it was the plastic wrap from a styrofoam tray of raw chicken. :puke:

One day I knocked her toothbrush onto the floor by accident. I went to go pick it up, and hesitated.... I decided it would be a good experiment... 5 DAYS WENT BY BEFORE SHE NOTICED. 5 FUCKIN' DAYS.

Another time she cooked some fish, whole trout. She left the raw fish head sitting on top of the garbage overflowing out of the garbage can. I woke up the next morning and the fish head was on the floor next to my bed. I got so angry I took it and threw it under her bed. As far as I know, she never found it. :D

Mutley, I think your roommate sounds worse, but man alive, Monica was a filthy, filthy person.

[Mutley]

121. Monica sounds damn close.

Really damn close.

"CRAMMED full I tell ya." :rofl:

I think mine needed a medicine cabinet crammed full of psych meds. :evilgrin:

[aclog]

106. Tell me you made that up

please?

[Mutley]

122. No, I really didn't.

And there is much more to the story that I just couldn't bring myself to add. Before I moved in with her she'd even rant endlessly about some of her roommates. Oh, I should've known!

[Zookeeper]

109. I could tell a few stories, but I'll keep it simple.

I was looking for a new place to live and Mr. Zookeeper (this was before we were married), suggested I rent a room in the apartment of his friend. I needed a place quickly and the situation seemed O.K., so I moved in and discovered that his friend was really a slob (I'm not a neat freak, so it wasn't the end of the world). The thing I really couldn't live with was the fact that my apartment mate lifted up his bare feet and picked his toes at the kitchen table, including during meals.

Mr. Zookeeper and I moved in together not too long after that. I have considered the possibility that Mr. Z. had an ulterior motive in suggesting I share that apartment with his friend. And it worked!

[Mutley]

123. Lol, it would sound like it.

I can't imagine why he'd recommend that particular friend otherwise. :D

[jpgray]

116. Spilled chaw spit, textbook thrown into my amp

I rest my case.

[Mutley]

124. The shortest, yet one of the worst roommate stories on this thread.

:D

[jpgray]

125. We're all still friends

But yours is definitely hard to beat. We -almost- burnt down our dormitory, which happened because a firework somehow was set off inside a wicker laundry basket before we left for three hours to go to a house party. :eyes: If they had gotten me kicked out of school with that, maybe I could compete. :D

[Mutley]

126. Oh, you would've more than been able to compete.

I'm just glad my story isn't the worst on this thread. :rofl:

[BlueIris]

127. Let me see: psychotic brainwashed Mormon hypocrite, misogynist,

misogynist, abusive megalomanic, and two non-recovering alcoholic/drug abusers.

[Mutley]

130. Sounds wonderful.

:hug:

[BlueIris]

133. This despite year + relationships with these people and BACKGROUND

CHECKS on the last two pairs. In the future, I will make the sacrifices necessary to live alone, because--FUCK THAT SHIT. Not worth it.

[Mutley]

136. No, it really isn't.

I had some winners when I was living on campus at college, but I just had to stick with fire girl; she takes the cake.

[ronnykmarshall]

128. You win!

But I have a story to share. I'll write it when I get back from brunch.

[Mutley]

131. I can't wait.

:D

[ronnykmarshall]

137. Ok ...... here we go ...... (LONG ..... yet not with out it's charm)

It wasn't a great time for me in the first place. My boyfriend had broke up with me and I was having the worst time finding a place. Rents in SF had gone through the roof during the two years I lived w/ my ex. I was "interviewing" for places to live (roommate services) and almost all of them would not allow a cat. I was desperate. Plus my financial situation was not great. When I lived w/ my ex, we paid around $500 a month and had plenty of extra $$$ for fun and pay the bills. Moving back out in the newly rents from hell world was going to tight. I would be living paycheck to paycheck. My just covered my expenses.

A friend of mine (who was also recently 'divorced') was renting a room from a good friend of mine. While this should have been a sign, my good friend asked him to move out. But with my hunt for a place not going well and my need to keep my beloved cat and get the hell away from my ex I agreed to look for a place with him.

We found a great apartment. The draw back .... it was a one bedroom for $1300 a month! It was SF! But we figured since I had only a futon, I could sleep in the living room. Plus I had a kick ass view!! Also I was back in 'the hood' (the Castro) so I would be close to all my friends and FAR away from the ex (we lived in the Union Sq area).

Prior to our getting a place, my future roommate and I had been running around partying together (and fooling around). He in the meantime had met this one guy and they were the most sickening in love couple you'd want to meet. Of course I was VERY bitter at the time over my break up and seeing young love was bad enough, but these two would make a Hallmark Card throw up.

This changed the whole vibe of our relationship. On one side, I was bummed because I wanted a roomie to hang with and chase boys while I healed from my worthless heartless sack of dog shit ex-lover (did I forget to say I was bitter?). But on the other hand, it kind of got him out of my hair. I tended to like to be on my own when I was getting over someone at times (reading, writing, movies and snuggling w/ m' cat). So I didn't think it was going to be so bad.

So, we signed a one year lease. AND to seal the deal, we had a heavy make-out session in our new apartment. That always confused me ...... but I'm a cheap slut at heart. Plus I didn't like his pompous boyfriend, so I really didn't give a shit.

Things were fine for a while. My roommie was a clean freak .... I am too, but not to the extreme as he was. But it was cool. We had set down some rules ... like the cat box. We both made sure it was empty at all times. This was fine, but Miss Thang would jump my shit if there was the slightest bit of pee in the box. One time he got all pissy and got in my face about it. My response "excuse the FUCK out of me. I didn't realize that Mickey had taken a piss and I forgot to follow his ass into the BATHROOM".

At this point I was praying that economy of San Francisco would collapse and rents would go down faster than Paris Hilton in the back seat of a limo on a Friday night.

Things got worse as my roommie and "honey" got more sickening. "Honey" was an arrogant self centered prick and my roomie had his head shoved so far up his ass he could floss his teeth. "Honey" was cute. Not earth shattering. But a nice looking guy with a cute body, nice ass, dark hair and very pretty blue eyes. He was also a short guy. Nothing wrong with that. I've dated some hot little compact stud muffins and I kinda like having them to thrown around and get nasty with .... but I digress.

The reason I call him "honey" is because the two of them would say "hooooonnnnnnneeeeyyy!" to each other ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It was enough to make a person set a house on fire just for the hell of it. Bottom line .... they thought it was "cute" and knew it bugged me, so they did it. Both of them thought it was "funny" that I was going through a bad break up and was depressed a lot. Nice, huh?

Roomie as I stated, lived and breathed for "honey". There were many times when me, Roomie and friends would make plans at the gym after work to go out to dinner or something. BUT if "Honey" at the last minute wanted Roomie to do something with him ..... FUCK US .... we didn't matter.

I could deal with that. I had a good group of friends to hang out with and at this point Roomie was driving all of us up the wall. He could not have a conversation without referring to "Honey" every other sentence. Needless to day Roomie was cutting off all of his friends. What really started to make life at home a living hell was Roomie and "Honey". "Honey" simply came over when ever he wanted. So that meant endless hours of puke-fest lovey dovey shit.

Many times, they would go out and come home late at night and didn't give a flying fuck how much noise they made. One night, Valentines day ..... which trust me they were in full throttle repulsiveness ..... "Honey" even got Roomie a Tickle-Me-Elmo :puke: ..... anywho, they went out and being bitter over that no good bloody bullock two faced back stabbing pig bastard ex-boyfriend ..... VD was the last thing I wanted to deal with. (Valentine's Day not that thing makes your pecker fall off). So, I got on line and this guy that I fooled around with IM's me. We chatted for a while and decided that neither one of us wanted to spend VD alone. So little stud muffin (he was hot little short dude I was referring too earlier) trots over and we hit the sack for the voo-dee-o-doo-doo .... if ya know what I mean. My little stud boy is gonna spend the night and we're all snug as a bug in the rug with my cat in the futon with us. Around 3am THEY come home. Of course drunk and of course LOUD!! "Honey" starts playing with that god-damn Tickle Me Fucking Elmo and they just LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!!! My little stud muffin whispers to me .... "do you live with fucking grade schoolers"?

The next day I told both of them they were rude mother fuckers and if they want be loud and act like of a couple of assholes they should start staying at "Honey's" place. They chilled .... for a while.

THE final straw. I had a guy I was seeing spend the night. It was sunday and decided to stay the night at my place. Well OF COURSE "Honey" was there in Roomie bedroom. "Trixie" (my date) and I went to bed and were chatting and smoochin' a bit. Nothing like the loud ass shit that goes on in my roommate's bedroom. "Honey" trots his ass out into the living room and tells ME that I need to be quiet because he and Roomie had to get in the morning.

IT WAS ON!!!! I told "Honey" that when his ass started paying rent in MY apartment HE could have a voice as to what goes on in MY apartment. Little fuck head clicked his heals and stopped off.

Sad to say, Trixie and I didn't see much of each other after that. But no biggie.

Roomie and "Honey" figured they had a good deal going. "Honey" didn't want to move in with Roomie yet so they could spend money on trips (which was pure heaven when they were gone) and do as they pleased. I, on the other hand had no clue what to do when the year lease was up. I hated living with him, but had no place to go. THEN a bright light. My best friend Anita (and co-worker) got me a gig to work in San Diego RENT FREE for 5 month. My lease was up and I was GONE!!!

Needless to say this threw a MAJOR monkey wrench in Roomie and "Honey's" plans. You'd think that this would be a perfect time for "Honey" to move in. NOPE!!! Roomie was now stuck with having to find someone to move in or find a cheaper apartment. Oh .... get this. Roomie and "Honey" went out looking for a place for Roomie (after I gave my notice) and they had a car wreck. No one was hurt, but "Honey's" car was fucked up pretty bad. They said it was MY fault.

What happens next will just break your heart. After I moved to San Diego, Roomie finally found someone to move in. He had to lower the new roommate's rent to get someone to take the less than perfect deal. From what I heard from my friends, Roomie ended with several roommates after me. The last one he ended up in court (rent board) with. I don't know the whole details, but it hit Roomie in the pocketbook a bit. Pitty, huh?

The funny thing about this whole mess was I could never understand (nor did I give a flying fuck) why "Honey" didn't move in? I could see that Roomie was having a hard time. Well, I didn't mention that "Honey" was/is a self centered, arrogant little snob.

Oh well, all's well that ends well.

Needless to say Roomie and I are not friends anymore. He now lives with "Honey". Ain't that sweet? :puke:

[Yavin4]

129. In NYC, Roommates Are A Necessary Evil

Unless you want 2/3 of every dollar you take home going to your landlord. My first apt in NYC was at a flat with a guy who was half gangsta, half regular citizen. The guy renting me one room had two other rooms that he was renting. There were all kinds of people constantly moving in and out.


One morning, cops banged on our door at 6:00 am with a warrant for someone. They check all of the IDs in our house and left. The next morning they came back again at 6:00 am. Turns out, the day before they were looking for someone else, but when they checked the IDs of everyone, they found out that one of the guys had a different outstanding warrant, and they arrested him.

Since then, I have found a good roommate situation. One of my roommates is a slob, but not as bad as some of these stories.

[Mutley]

132. One reason I wouldn't move to NYC unless I had a lot of money.

I don't want to be forced to live with roommmates.

[NV Whino]

138. I don't have any bad roommate stories

I am a solitary person and I'm still friends with the only roommate I ever had... mmm unmpty ump years later. Of course it probably helps that she resides in a different state these days.

I do, however, vote this the funniest and most horrific thread of the past and present millennia.

[PittPoliSci]

140. my parents are bastards

I HATE LIVING WITH THEM.

only because i'm drunk.

[undeterred]

143. My last roommate was years ago

She answered my ad in the paper and we went looking for a place together. We seemed to have enough in common to be friends and make this work.

Turns out she had arthritis, psoriasis, and depression, to start with. On moving day she stood outside in a very pretty dress and didn't lift a finger while I and all of my friends moved all of my stuff and heres into the apartment.

Turns out she had a boyfriend who she expected to essentially live with us without paying rent. It was a two bedroom apartment, but he had a studio apartment somewhere else. All of this was a show so that neither set of parents would know they were sleeping together. Turns out the boyfriend also smoked, which I can't live with. For the purpose of smoking he was a guest, not a roommate. By being over at our place 7 days a week without paying any bills or cleaning the place, he was essentially a bad roommate.

She didn't even mention she had a boyfriend when we met.

There's more, but that's enough to make my blood boil so I'll stop.