Old "Coot" check-in thread - and share your coot-isms

[MazeRat7]

After last nights Coot-off on TDS... I feel obligated to fly my colors... granted I am 1/2 the age of Byrd.. but that does not mean I can't be an 'ol coot as well. Just ask the neighborhood children. :)

MZr7

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Hey, you kids! Get out of my yard!

[Southsideirish]

23. "Get off my lawn!" n/t

[Southsideirish]

25. "Never trouble trouble 'til trouble troubles you, cuz if you "trouble

trouble", it'll DOUBLE TROUBLE you!" (In other words, don't go poking at beehives!)

[babylonsister]

2. That was brilliant though I didn't

like Jon dissing Byrd (Stevens-who cares?). Anyway, it's all comedy, right?B-)

[Pirate Smile]

19. I actually thought they could of come up with some funnier clips

from Byrd.

I've heard him say some very funny/Cootish stuff on the Senate floor.

It isn't a bash. I like him and I like the variety/flavor/quirkiness. Life is boring when everybody has the same, proper, dignified manner.

Plus, I don't think most old coots mind being called it.

[babylonsister]

24. I like Byrd so much, I think I feel a bit protective of him.

But you're right, I'm sure Byrd could have been flattered by the attention.
And Jon is one of the few good guys out there who makes me laugh and I
respect.

[linazelle]

38. Dagnabit!

:rofl:

[alfredo]

3. Us old coots have a sense of history. We know a crook when we see

one. And bush is a crook.

[havocmom]

4. Ah yep. Crooked as a dog's hind leg

I love cootisms. Been studying for the Curmudgeonhood myself. Husband is an Old Coot.

[northofdenali]

14. Hi havoc = may I join you in curmudgeonhood?

Husband is an old coot, as well. But nobody out-coots the really old coots (my father-in-law is 85, mom is 89) - they can really dish it up.

[havocmom]

21. Sure! Cane shaking practice is Monday night. Be there.

I use Havocdad's grandfather's old walking stick to raise and shake threateningly. It's a right proper crank stick.

Whippersnapper Limmerick Group meets Wednesdays. We're doing an exercise which starts with:

There was a young punk from Duluth
who was ever so pleased with his youth...

[alfredo]

31. Beats being young and dumb. The young part I guess I could handle,

but I like where my head is.

[Sydnie]

5. I have this thing for slapstick comedy

like the Stooges. I watch it, I laugh, but I hate myself for finding humor in someone else's pain. I felt the same way last night when he was ranking on Byrd. I watched, I laughed and I hated myself for finding it funny, for Byrd's sake.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to lighten up. Guess that is what happens when you grow up watching the Stooges, huh?

I am not anywhere near Byrds age, but I feel like the cliche, old enough to know better and yet, still young enough to want to.

:hi: Coot, reporting for duty.

[Jackpine Radical]

6. Any rumors of my coothood are totally baseless and unfounded.

I am, in fact, trembling on the verge of entering late youth, having just had my 22d annual 39th birthday last October.

[roguevalley]

7. I'll be swanned. An old cootism you don't hear much anymore.

Also, BACK IN MY DAY...! And the ever popular, "When I was YOUR age ..."

[Sydnie]

10. My grandmother used to say I swan all the time

I never knew what it meant or where that phrase came from. Can you shed any light on that for me? I hate decades old mysteries.

[roguevalley]

12. WHen my family says, "I'll be swanned" it meant surprised or amazed.

I just love it. Its a jewel. The people in the family who used it the most were born in the 1800's. Longevity gives you great insight into cootness.

[Rose Siding]

40. My greatgrandmother said it. I swan or I swannie. I think it means

"I swear" and the phrase was a sin dodge. The Bible says not to swear, rather let your word be so good as to make it unnecessary, so I always guessed she (and others- I've heard it used since then) figured switching out the word "swear" was a lesser evil.

But Maw swore like a sailor when she wanted, so it might just have been regional -West Virginia. You?

[Sydnie]

48. Yes, WV and she was Maw too!

My "maw" didn't swear, but her daughters .... wooooooooooo. They could make a sailor blush!

[madokie]

13. ROFLMAO I use all those

:rofl: I guess I'm an ole' coot too. Is there a discount come with that?

[havocmom]

36. My granny was frequently 'corn-schwoggled'

:shrug: no modern day translation

[madokie]

16. I'm having the 19th aniverisity of my 39th on march 28

guess what holiday I was born on, then guess my first name,

[mcscajun]

20. Born on Easter, first name Bunny?

:)

[madokie]

39. you got the date right and I'm laughing my ass off at the other

[mcscajun]

43. Well, I can see why. I certainly should have checked your profile

before hanging "bunny" on you. :)

So, I guess it's "Rabbit" :rofl:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

8. Kids today, they don't know the value of a buck!!

Dagnabbit all ta heck.

[MazeRat7]

9. coot-ism: Don't pee in my boots and tell me its raining

more ?

MZr7

[ewagner]

11. My cootisms

He/she is uglier than homemade sin!

That guy would make a Saint swear!

I'd rather french-kiss a rattlesnake.

[Sal Minella]

15. It's nice they married each other, it doesn't ruin two couples that way.

[wtmusic]

18. "That ain't worth a dime's worth of dirty ice"

We knew a cootism back in the day, we did...

[madokie]

28. he/she is ugler than home made soap

buy him for what he's worth then sell him for what he thinks he worth, you'd be a millionaire
shitter than a drunk house mouse
marry 'em young that way you can raise 'em the way you want 'em
every one you pass up is one you can't make up
etc.

[democrank]

17. Old coot woman here.

Hold on a minute....I forgot what this post is about. Know you asked us to share something....

[havocmom]

26. Apply another hormone patch, dear. It'll help you keep up.

Anybody see my ball of string?

[madokie]

29. talk about capturing the essence

[Contrary1]

22. My dad always told us he was gonna

"lam" us one. When we got a little bit older (and braver), we could
sometimes diffuse the situation by telling him he had to define the
word before we would allow any "lamming" to commence.

Anybody else out there ever get lammed?

[MazeRat7]

27. coot-ism: Ahhh...Don't feel like a hair in a biscuit

[havocmom]

30. Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room fulla rockers

That'd be the GOP Congressional flim-flam boys since hearing the Duke was wired. Waitin for the Paddy Wagon, they are.

[madokie]

32. nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof

[laststeamtrain]

33. When I was a boy we didn't have Kleenex...

...when you were twelve you inherited the family handkerchief, all green and crusty, and WE LIKED IT THAT WAY!
(acknowledgements to Dana Carvey)

[NNN0LHI]

34. The reports of the death of my cootism have been greatly exaggerated n/t

[Starbucks Anarchist]

35. My favorite line from that episode:

"Byrd wins a lifetime supply of 'the way things used to be.'"

:rofl:

[shraby]

37. "Those people are grasshopper minded"

Didja ever walk into a field with a lot of grasshoppers?

[NI4NI]

42. "knee high to a grasshopper"

[Sydnie]

52. knee high to a puddle duck. n/t

[Kingofalldems]

41. "Sock it to me"

:rofl:

[PsN2Wind]

44. When I was a boy

we were so poor and there was so many of us kids that my parents couldn't afford gifts for all of us on Christmas. So the two girls each got a doll and so us four boys would have something to play with, our parents cut the bottom out of our pants pockets.

[hickman1937]

45. You lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

My mom got that from her Pennsylvania Dutch Mom.

[unkachuck]

46. in a pigs eye...

....mark my words, I'll display my cootedness when the cows come home....you're pulling my leg, right?....and close the door, were you born in a barn?....

[SeattleGirl]

47. "You kids pipe down!"

My dad always said that when he wanted me and my sibs to be quiet.

[leftofthedial]

49. By Cracky!

I'm going to bed.

[Sydnie]

50. Don't give me any of your tommyrot

My father used to say that all the time. I had a brother named Tommy and I thought he was referring to him for the longest time. :rofl: Appears others used it too though, so it couldn't have just been that I had a rotten brother.

[Redstone]

51. "It's better to have it and not need it,

than to need it and not have it."

Also: "It's pointless to speculate."

Redstone

[Skittles]

53. yes, I put a matchbook under my eight-track

so I'm friggin' old; sue me. :D