Out of the depths I cry to thee, Lord hear my supplication!

[JVS]

Let not some creepy person break into my house,
And use my electric toothbrush for strange recreation!


Feel free to add your own supplication

[Heidi]

1. Dear Lord,

Please let not JVS ignore my short treatise on Britney Spears' cover of "Satisfaction." :cry:

[JVS]

2. Good treatise

[Heidi]

4. Thank you, Jesus.

:thumbsup:

[JVS]

9. Thank the Lord and sing his praise, tell everyone what he has done...

let all who seek the Lord rejoice and proudly bear his name. He recalls his promises and leads his people forth in joy with shouts of thanks-giving alleluia alleluia

[Heidi]

10. When's the snacks?

:evilgrin:

[JVS]

16. After the song about the "Lamb of God" who takes away the sin of the world

[Oeditpus Rex]

17. ROFL!

Oh, gawd. That killed me. :rofl:

[Heidi]

26. Communion: it's what's for breakfast.

[JVS]

28. One should not eat in the morning before Eucharist.

Thus it is breakfast

[Heidi]

29. Exactly.

Wine: it does a body good.

[Oeditpus Rex]

32. We didn't get wine

We got grape juice and like fish crackers or somethin'.

Stoopid Methodists...

[Heidi]

34. Us, either.

Uptight southern Baptists. :(

[Oeditpus Rex]

37. So I guess you know why

Southern Baptists aren't allowed to have sex standing up, huh?

[JVS]

38. It could lead to DANCING!

[Oeditpus Rex]

42. .

:wow:



:rofl:

[Heidi]

47. That's the way I heard it.

Heck, I'd had sex a dozen times before I ever _attempted_ dancing. :blush:

[TheGunslinger]

49. And, of course, you were legally wed during those times?

O8)

[Heidi]

51. Define "wed."

Define "legally."
Definite "you."
Definite "those times."
Definite "time."

:evilgrin:

[TheGunslinger]

54. (tapping fingers in holier-than-thou Church Lady mode)

[Heidi]

56. Well.

Isn't that _special_.

[TheGunslinger]

58. You know what? *She* danced!!!

:wow:

[JVS]

60. Duh, Dana Carvey's a Lutheran, it's permitted along with beer drinking

[TheGunslinger]

61. But was the Church Lady a Lutheran?

Garrison Keillor's a Lutheran, eh?

He's a damn fine "Homegrown Democrat" (great book)

[JVS]

64. Maybe, she seems a tad legalistic for it.

Not so much into the Simul Justus et Peccator thing. Keillor's Lake Woebegon 1956 is a good book, although a bit smutty for fans of his radio

[JVS]

35. As a great man once said

"I've decided to launch an attack that will reduce Rock Ridge to ashes...I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the West. Take this down: I want rustlers, cut-throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nit-wits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con-men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bush-whackers, horn-swagglers, horse-thieves, bull-dykes, train-robbers, bank-robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers, and Methodists!"

[TheGunslinger]

39. "What about the Irish?"

[JVS]

41. Aww, prairie shit!

[TheGunslinger]

46. "Somebody's got to go back and get a shitload of dimes!"

[Oeditpus Rex]

53. I didn't get a 'harumph' from that guy!

[TheGunslinger]

55. "Don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him angry."

[Oeditpus Rex]

40. ROFL!

"But we don't want the Irish!"

:rofl:

[Heidi]

44. Outstanding, Hedley!

[TheGunslinger]

3. My Sweet Lord,

Let not this forum suffer badly
from endless threads on defecation.

[JVS]

5. And smite all those who dare to start threads about fornication

[Heidi]

6. A voice from heaven told me to tell you,

that god doesn't give a sh!t about the Lounge. :cry:

[TheGunslinger]

7. I guess I'll take a crap in the offering plate today.

well...if'n I went to church. ;)

[Heidi]

8. I guess you're lookin' to get smote, aintcha?

:evilgrin:

[TheGunslinger]

11. Ask me if I give a sh*t.

:)

[Heidi]

13. K.

TheGunslinger, do you give a sh!t? (Answer truthfully, please.)

[TheGunslinger]

15. "No....No....Sh*t no, man!"

To borrow that line from Office Space.

[TheGunslinger]

18. BTW, aren't smote/smite cool words?

[Heidi]

19. "Cool"? COOL????????????

Why, I oughta smite the crapoutta you. ;)

[TheGunslinger]

20. "Bring it on!"

[JVS]

21. Smite me baby one more time!

[TheGunslinger]

22. .

:rofl: :rofl:


Now *that* was some funny sh*t!!!!

[Heidi]

24. Excellent leveraging of synergies, JVS!

:thumbsup:

[JVS]

25. And the song is definitely sung in the fashion of one who wants...

to be "smitten" ;)

[Heidi]

27. I definitely think your'e onto a marketing goldmine.

Think of the bumperstickers: "I smote Britney Spears." :thumbsup:

[JVS]

30. I slayed her with my mighty lance

[Heidi]

31. "Stop, knave, or I shall run you through."

:scared:

[TheGunslinger]

33. "Come back or I'll bite your legs off"

ooops...wrong train of thought.




shit.

[Heidi]

36. Well, at least you worked "sh!t" into it.

:thumbsup:

[TheGunslinger]

43. I've shat so much I look like Kate Moss!

Well, Kate Moss with a hairy chest. ;)

[JVS]

45. Grrrrowl

[Heidi]

50. You're too sexy for this thread.

[TheGunslinger]

57. "Right!", said Fred

to TheGunslinger as he kissed the 700 Club goodbye!

[Heidi]

23. Did I say "smite"? Pardon me! I meant "tickle"!

[JVS]

12. As you reap, so shall you sow. So, I'd be careful about shitting.

Especially as one has said "Cast your bread upon the water and you shall receive a thousand fold"

[TheGunslinger]

14. Guess I'm in for a crapload of hurt then!

[NMMNG]

48. Somebody's been reading too many Urban Legends

Dear Lord,

Hear my plantitive cry to Thee,
And from Thy rabid followers protect me.

[JVS]

52. What urban legends?

[TheGunslinger]

59. I'm asusming something to do with one's toothbrush?

[NMMNG]

63. Read below n/t

[NMMNG]

62. This one

A Tale of Two Toothbrushes . x(