After some serious thought, I've decided to get back on the meds

[kedrys]

:(

I'm not real thrilled about it, and I've been off Lexapro for 4 months, but I'm starting to feel the seams crack, and I don't f*cking like it. I have too much going on to lose my sh*t right now.

So there.

I'm not planning on taking happy helmet drugs for the rest of my life either.

[graywarrior]

1. Gotta do what you gotta do.

[kedrys]

4. I'm good at necessary things

but I don't have to like them.

Thanks for the encouragement! :)

[graywarrior]

14. Hey, I've done it myself before.

Need to take care of yourself.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

2. Do Whatever You Feel Is Best For You At This Point In Time And Refuse To

let ANYONE judge you for it :)

You own path, in your own time, for your own reasons in your own way

[kedrys]

5. Fortunately, the s.o. is a paragon of understanding and support

plus we have a few neuroses and prescriptions in common, so that helps. :P

Thanks for the good words! :)

[LeftyMom]

3. It's good that you feel good enough off the meds to watch out for yourself

and make that decision. :)

I hope you feel better soon and are able to go off medication at some point if that's your desire.

[kedrys]

7. I tend towards the overproduced self-examination

It's all the dope I smoked in college :evilgrin:.

Seriously, though, being on Lexapro the first time made me realize I've been, er, slightly off most of my life, and I'm nowhere near that now. I just need to be able to focus and concentrate and remember and not drop any balls. I'll go with the flow and see where it takes me, but I'm bringing a paddle and an outboard motor just in case. :)

[Redstone]

6. If you had diabetes, would you be agonizing about using insulin?

Having a chemical imbalance in your brain is the exact same thing as having a chemical imbalance in your pancreas, isn't it?

So why the problem about taking a medicine to counteract that chemical imbalance?

Just stop it, and take the damn medicine. Clinical depression does not mean that you're weak.

It's a chemical imbalance, just like diabetes is.

Got it?

Redstone

[kedrys]

8. Interesting analogy - and spot on

To be fair, my "agonizing" consisted of an afternoon of "gee, I should get back on the meds before my attention span gets even shorter".

As usual, you make a damn good point. It's just that once the thought occurred to me, I sort of wondered why it didn't occur to me earlier, say, last week.

And it's definitely not a question of weakness, real or perceived. I'm not proud or stupid enough to deny myself help when I know I need it.

Thanks for holding my paw. :)

[Redstone]

11. You had me worried when you said

"I'm not planning on taking happy helmet drugs for the rest of my life either."

Why not?

I'm going to be taking Ritalin for the rest of my life (for ADD), and Vicodin or some other opioid (for chronic pain).

And I don't see any reason for me to resist the idea of taking either one. Though I do knock off the Vikes one week in six to re-set the tolerance clock.

I cannot count the times I've tried to explain to people that antidepressants are not "happy pills," and won't make you feel giddy if you're already cheerful - all they do is raise the "down" swings to a better level.

Want to thank me? Take your medicine for as long as you need to, even if that's for the rest of your life, and be happy. That's all the thanks I need.

Redstone

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. I've made that *exact* same analogy

a hundred times.
:toast: Redstone.

[ProfessorGAC]

23. That's What I Was Going To Ask, Redstone?

I know someone who is on meds for this same thing and i'll hear complaints about "having to be on all this medicine". Well, i have MS and i'm on Betaseron. I'm not ashamed of having a medical condition that requires maintenance medicine and neither should anybody else, no matter which part of the body is affected.
The Professor

[Kali]

28. because sometimes the repair isn't quite right and the side effects

are unpleasant. Or sometimes the imbalance is cured or goes into remission and the meds are not needed or even harmful

[Ladyhawk]

31. The same can be said for some diabetes medications.

Actos, a diabetes med I'm on now, can cause edema. Other diabetes meds can have even fatal side effects. Insulin is produced by the body, so it's natural, but you can still hurt yourself by not regulating it properly. All medications can have undesired effects, but it's stupid to go off them if the benefits outweigh the negatives.

I'm also on Lexapro, btw, and Strattera which can also have anti-depressant effects. I've also found that cranial electrotherapy stimulation, via the Alpha-Stim SCS really helps anxiety and depression. If you want to try something non-medicinal, I'd recommend it.

[khashka]

10. You need to talk to your doc

Not all meds are best for everyone.

If it works - great. But you say you're not thrilled. Ask him/her if there is something else.

I'm a depressive - every day I think of new and interesting ways to kill myself. And then start planning how to do it. I took drugs for years - but they were worse than the symptoms. I can deal with depression and suicidal impulses easier than I could deal with the drugs. That's not true for everyone.

If just the idea of taking meds is the problem. Too bad. Get over it Too many people in your life are depending on you for you to lose it. If you are having problems with the meds, you need to talk to your doctor.


Khash.

[kedrys]

13. I already have

He's the coolest doc on the planet. He had me try Effexor first, which was sweet until we ramped up the dose and it basically made me narcoleptic. The Lexapro is not covered by the s.o.'s insurance (at least, not until we try stuff that doesn't work for at least 6 months :grr:), so he gives me samples (and monitors me closely). He also looks almost exactly like Mister Rogers. It's freaky. :D

I'm just not thrilled about not being well. I can deal with pretty much everything else - with a little bit of help.

Thanks! :)

[khashka]

16. I took effexor for awhile

when they started ramping up the dose it made me start hallucinating. Fun, huh?

I know what you mean about not being well. I have a degenerative neurological condition which causes chronic pain and increasing disability. And I have so much to look forward to - wheelchairs! Blindness! Deafness! More pain!

So I certainly understand your feelings about not being well. It sucks.

Khash.
(If one single person offers me sympathy - I swear to God I will have you banned.)

[kedrys]

17. That's not a side effect, that's an EFFECT!

Yikes! :wow:

I tried to explain to my mom about the sheer noise in my head before I started on Effexor/Lexapro, and she just looked at me like, well, like I'd completely lost my mind. That's what it took for me to realize how difficult it is for "well" people to get it. Of course, I thought I was more well than I turned out to be before the breakpoint where I really needed the meds - thinking back on how and what I used to think, it's just bizarre. :shrug:

To mom's credit, she's been extremely supportive, and so has my dad. No problems there. :)

[MaggieSwanson]

12. Lexapro is magic stuff.

My daughter is at her most balanced when she is on it. Someday I hope she'll give it another try, just as you are planning to do. The difference really can be amazing.

:hug:

[xmas74]

15. Lexapro worked well for me.

I had tried a few others before that didn't help very much. If I had the insurance I would still be on it.

[kedrys]

18. Doesn't it suck completely to not be able to get your hands on

what you need because of insurance? :grr:

The s.o.'s insurance (which covers us both) is starting to phase out coverage of pretty much every medicine we're taking. The company has made no bones about telling employees that those who actually use the benefits will have to pay more to get them. That's about the purest form of discrimination I've ever been subjected to - and another rant for another day :P. But it definitely sucks for air.

[xmas74]

20. It does.

Right now I don't have insurance(though it was promised by my job at employment). I can't afford the medicine because I can't even afford to go to the doctor. And I can't afford to get sick.

[NMMNG]

19. Do what you need to to keep yourself balanced and healthy

People tend to have this perception that using psychiatric drugs is a crutch or a sign of weakness. But it is no more a sign of weakness than taking necessary medications for any other health condition. If you need them to stay healthy then take them. There is no need to suffer just so you can say you aren't on medications. You are worth more than that. :hug:

[Bridget Burke]

21. What's wrong with a crutch?

Some people need one (or two) to walk.

Sounds like you have a handle on the situation.

[NMMNG]

29. I was referring to the way people use "crutch" negatively

Not in place of a legitimate use of crutches.

[kedrys]

22. I'm starting to think that the only people I know who aren't on meds are

the cats. :)

Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated...or was it?

:hug: back atcha. Thanks for the encouragement.

[NMMNG]

30. It shouldn't be, but it is

And some times seem more complicated than others. The past 5 years, for example, have been sheer chaos for many.

Take it one day at a time, and do what you need to. Nobody should fault you, least of all yourself, for trying to improve your life. You are the one who best knows how to help you.

[schmuls]

24. What exactly is Lexapro used for? I'm asking because I've been

on some meds before, and wondering if I should try Lexapro. (I was treated for depression) Thanks.

[kedrys]

25. It's an antidepressant

How it works, I'm not sure, but it seems to. A few of my friends have tried it successfully; good luck with it if you end up trying it! :hi:

[caty]

26. There are many

medical conditions that require taking daily medication. Don't look at it as a choice, but as a necessity for your well being. Diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. all require daily, lifetime medications. For your well being, happiness, and your future take your medications. Think of all the people who have medical problems where there is no medication to help them. You're lucky. Take advantage of your good fortune.

[kedrys]

34. Well put

Except for that, and being overweight, I'm pretty healthy, and believe me, thankful for it.

Thanks for the encouragement! :)

[caty]

35. I have to take

two different meds every day to keep my triglycerides under 200. Without it they go up to---get this---over 1200 (with a extremely high risk of a heart attack or stroke). I've been told this problem is genetic.

It goes to prove that a lot of us have medical problems or conditions that need to be cared for. Do I get tired of takeing the meds?.....yes. Am I going to stop taking them?....no.

[BlueIris]

27. Good for you for accessing the tools you need to stay healthy.

There's nothing wrong with using medication to correct problems. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about taking care of yourself. No one has any right to make any judgments about your health status, your preferred method of treatment, or you. If you want some free, totally friendly advice though, do make sure you're on the right med for your issues--if your symptoms simply aren't resolving or the SEs aren't ones you can live with, think about switching, using a combo or exploring what happens if you adjust dosages. In consultation with your prescribing physicians, of course. Keep all of your options open. There is a way and it involves remaining healthy. Good luck!

[hyphenate]

32. I was trying to get away from my anti-depressant

but the withdrawal symptoms were horrible. And since I'm still depressed anyhow, I guess I better stay on them for awhile longer.

[donheld]

33. kedrys, I've been on Lexapro for at least 6mos

and prozac for 10 years before that. I rarely have cracks but sometimes grand canyons showing up. I sometimes don't know if the meds really do what they need to do, but after all these years how to do anything else is a mystery. Do what you got to do and be thankful that you can. Best of luck to you.