How long do I let the baby cry?

[rbnyc]

He's been really fussy today. He wouldn't nap. He was just insisting on climbing up a table to reach a guitar that's hanging on the wall, over and over. I'd say No, take him down, try to get him interested in something else, he'd pitch a fit and try to climb the table again. After about 20 times I put him in his crib. Now he's screaming his head off. How long do I let it go on?

What would you do?

[Telly Savalas]

1. What do your instincts tell you to do?

[rbnyc]

6. See below.

I knew I couldn't keep pulling off the table, 'cause he was really starting to throw a tantrum and I didn't want him to get hurt.

He was in his crib long enough for me to post, then I couldn't stand to hear him cry.

Now he's sitting with my calmly.

It's almost story time.

:)

Thanks.

[rbnyc]

2. I've got him.

He's having his sippy cup in my lap.

Poor baby.

I'm just not used to him acting up. He usually only acts up with dad.

;-)

[Whoa_Nelly]

19. It's hard to be tiny

He's only little once. Glad you went to get him. With babies, when they change their from the usual, best to go with the flow...you never know what it all might mean even over a short period of time.

[lildreamer316]

20. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

sniff sniff

[redqueen]

3. Do you have some free time?

I would take him somewhere and do something... sing a song or play with a toy... distract him and get him feeling good again, then he'll more easily calm down I think.

Good luck!

[WeRQ4U]

4. I say let them cry for a while.

You should go into the room and assure them that you didnt' leave them forever, but I see absolutely no harm in letting a child cry for a while. Not all day, mind you, but perhpas long enough to work some anger/anxiety/pissiness out. Crying is a good way for them to really express themselves and work things out. Let 'em do it.

[LeftyMom]

5. I don't believe letting a kid cry alone is healthy

Sometimes they have to let it out when they get to wound up, but they need to know that somebody's there for them. I would want somebody to hold me if I was so frustrated it drove me to tears.

BTW, have you checked out How to Raise Your Spirited Child? That and the Dr Sears Parenting books kept me sane when my son was that age.

[rbnyc]

8. Thanks.

I'll check it out.

[LeftyMom]

11. I promise you won't regret it.

I still draw on what I've learned from that book in dealing with LeftyKid every day. I shoudl probably read it again, he's going through a rather defiant stage lately and I need new strategies I think.

[Sequoia]

13. I'm not sure about that Sears guy.

He doesn't think babies should sleep with their parents.

[LeftyMom]

16. Huh?

Yeah he does. It's one of his main points of attatchment parenting, along with breastfeeding, babywearing and some stuff I forget.

He's kinda lame in some ways (he hasn't come out against "disposable" diapering, apparently he did some formula endorsement :puke: ) but he's very much in favor of the family bed.

edit: https://www.askdrsears.com/news/headlines1005.asp

[Redstone]

23. LM, you're a wonderful woman, but I'm glad you're not my wife.

I do NOT want a baby in bed with me and my wife.

We'd argue. It would get ugly.

Even though I did cave a few times with Mrs R, when the Little Guy was sick, I don't think it's a good idea as an everyday practice.

Redstone

[LeftyMom]

26. LK wanted to nurse constantly (he grew really fast, was about 30 lbs 1 yr)

I had to get some sleep somehow, because I was a wreck without it. Life was a lot easier when I got him out of the crib and let him sleep with me when he wanted (and he didn't always, it's really hot here in the summer and he's a warm sleeper.) I slept much better when LeftyKid could wake me to nurse without letting out that ear-piercing wail.

I know some families do better with the kid in thier own space. Personally I don't think I could sleep well with an infant in another room, but I'm not as dogmatic about it as I am about well- lets be honest here- everything else.

How it effected (ahem) other things I can't really say, since I was on the pill and have since discovered that my body shuts down my normally lounge-famous libido when I take oral contraceptives.

[Redstone]

27. OK, you had exceptional circumstances.

Sounds like it was the right way for you to go.

Redstone

[Sequoia]

24. Okay, I stand corrected.

[lildreamer316]

21. People have been

having this argument about him for YEARS.
I just went with my insticts...so far; so good...

[redwitch]

22. When my oldest son was little he was very cheery -mostly

but one day he wouldn't ( or couldn't) stop crying. I held him, I nursed him ,I changed him, I sang to him, I walked him, I rocked him. Finally I put him back in his crib, went downstairs and then to the basement. I went into the basement closet, closed the door, walked all the way to the back of the closet and screamed "SHUT UP!" at the top of my voice. Then I went back upstairs and proceeded to go through the whole drill again: "Poor wittle guy, what's the matter, tell mommy, don't cry honey" etc. :-) Some days it is really a challenge to be a parent!

[rbnyc]

35. Thanks!

That is just like yesterday for me. I just needed to put him somewhere safe and do my equivellent of scream, which is to post in the Lounge, and then go back and get him.

He was actually calm for the rest of the night. Until 2 am, when he started screaming. I changed his diaper offered him water, offered him his frozen teether, offered to let him sleep with us, walked him around, rocked him, sang to him, etc. for about an hour and a half before he stopped crying and went back to sleep.

[fleabert]

28. as usual, EXCELLENT book recommendations LeftyMom!

I totally concur.

[LeftyMom]

30. hi flea!

:hi:

[AlienGirl]

32. Dr. Sears was a lifesaver!

Attachment parenting works wonders...

Tucker

[JVS]

7. Several years. When he understands speech tell him to pipe down

:-)

[rbnyc]

9. LOL

Thanks for that.

[rbnyc]

10. Thanks all. It's story time.

See you later.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

12. Give him a nice warm bath...

If you have some of that chamomile baby bath, it works great. Keep him away from the guitar...maybe you can move it so it's out of sight?

Mr GoG bought a cheapo guitar with a pretty nice sound that the little guy could strum as a baby. Maybe you could find a toy alternative. It's good to encourage their love of music from an early age.

When they're fussy like that, it's good to give them a little time out...for your sake as well as his. But I probably wouldn't leave him for more than 10 minutes or so...you can judge better than anyone how much time you both need.

:hug::hug::hug: for both of you!

[Book Lover]

15. I agree with everything you said!

and was just going to post the quick bath recommendation - always worked for my child (as long as he was small enough for sink baths, that is. Tub baths must be 1 hour, minimum, according to littlebooklover :-) )

[Jamastiene]

14. Teach him how to play the thing.

Don't stand between a guitarist and their guitar, no matter how young they are. We just loves our guitars. And yes, I loved guitars even before I had one. Couldn't stand it. Had to have one, then another one, then another. Teach the kid to play it. Or just let him cry himself to sleep, I guess. :eyes:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Son of GoG was fascinated with guitars before he could walk

He got blisters on his little fingers, he loved it so much. Did that stop him?

Hell no! They turned into little calluses.

[Jamastiene]

18. That's the idea.

Once they become calluses, they don't hurt any more and your fingers actually start itching to do it some more. It's an amazing urge and an amazing high to play some more.

[tigereye]

34. that sure sounds like the kid of musicians....

[rbnyc]

38. He can't play that one.

There's another one he can play, but he wants the forbidden one.

He is a little musician tho. I predict he will end up playing several instruments like his father.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

25. You know their cries

and fussiness can go on an hour, but out and out rage and hysteria need to be addressed within minutes.

You can't spoil an infant.

[Sanity Claws]

29. Can you give him the guitar?

If that's what is interesting him, maybe he'll calm down after you show it to him and let him touch it. Maybe he is a reincarnated musician!

[rbnyc]

36. It's an antique.

We have several guitars. There's one he's allowed to play with. We need to get him his own.

He has 2 toy pianos, and he's allowed to play our electric piano. He has 2 drums, and about a dozen other percussion instruments.

He loves music.

My husband and I are both musicians and so are my mom, dad, and paternal grandfather.

[latebloomer]

31. I'd pick him up and hold him

I don't believe in letting babies cry it out-- I think it teaches them that the world is not to be trusted and no one will comfort you when you're in pain.

On the other hand, when they get to be 3 or 4 and they have tantrums-- sometimes, when no amount of cajoling will help, you just need to step back, let them kick and scream and get it out of their systems.

[Beausoir]

33. He's got your number.

Stay close but let him know that he will stay in his crib until he calms down.

20 times? Enough is enough. There is one parent and one child in this equation.

[rbnyc]

37. I would move him all the way to other side of the apartment...

...and try to get him involved in something else, and he'd run right back and climb up the table again.

Then he was starting to really throw his body around when I'd bring him down. I was getting frusrated and I just wanted him to be safe.

Thanks.