Whiny RANT: I can't stand my dad's live-in girlfriend.

[Yollam]

She's a smoker and an alcoholic, and makes my alcoholic dad drink more than he otherwise would. She is constantly fussing and cleaning and cleaning, so that if I put a cup down for five minutes, it's in the dishwasher so I end up going through 6 or 7 cups a day. She has such a low tolerance for messes that shhe cleans up every little thing my kids do and I can't possibly keep up with her, or them. Oh, and then she eventually gets all pissed about one mess or another, like she's building shit up.

One time my son was sitting on one of her cheap, made in china dining chairs, and was kind of leaning, and one chair leg broke. She went bananas, saying that he was being "willfully destructive" and that this was the 5th or six thing he had broken that day (he didn't break anything else at all during the whole visit.)

At Christmas we had asked all the relatives to pitch in with a little cash to help my wife save up for a new mac computer she's saving up for in lieu of a prresent. So one night, in a drunken stupor, she asks me "so how would you like it If I bought you a used iMac like from 1999, with a floppy drive and system 8.5?" I said, well, since it would be obsolete, it would end up being the kids computer, and they've already got an old computer, so I'd just as soon you didn't". So she says "well, I've ordered you one already anyway." :mad:


So today, the stupid thing arrives, loosely packed with a bunch of broken up styro. It's a 1998 G3 huge hunk o'crud THAT DOESN'T WORK AT ALL.



Here's the model, only the one we got had a big sticker with an "X" on it, and was caked with grime. (Look, a floppy drive! Remember those?)


AARRRGGGHH! If we had wanted her to buy some broken old piece o'crap online we would have asked for that! Is it so hard to just pitch in a few bucks to the computer fund?!?!

I never want to stay at their house again. I love my dad, but I cannot stand that drunk psycho. Her cooking sucks too. It's all greasy starchy salty crap from like 1961. This year she made meatloaf that looked like it had already been eaten and regurgitated, and the stuffing looked even nastier, so I felt really LUCKY TO BE ON A DIET.

:cry: :mad::cry: :mad:

[Yollam]

1. C'mon, someone tell me I'm not nuts.

Or regale me with stories of your annoyingly psycho relatives, anything. I need to commiserate!

[Ptah]

2. Sometimes, I think about finding an obnoxious GF,

just to get my daughter to leave.

[Yollam]

3. But she keeps insisting that we stay with them!

I wanted to stay at a friend's house to annoy the conflicts that happen every year, but NO! She says that would hurt her feelings! It's to the point that I don't even want to go to my hometown for Christmas.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

4. How about if your cigarette smoke allergy

makes it impossible for you to stay with them? :evilgrin:

Seriously. You have kids to think about. It's not healthy for them to be around the second hand smoke; and it's definitely not cool for her and your dad to be plowed around them.

Any chance you can have a heart to heart with your dad about this?

[Yollam]

5. Actually, I tried that.

I told my dad exactly that, and was using it as an excuse to stay at my brother's but he said he'd get her to smoke outside (and he did), and they insisted we stay with them.

It really stresses me out to be in the same house with her, she's so neurotic and drunk every night. I actually enjoy the company of my mom & her repug greedhead hubby more!

[Ptah]

6. Maybe you Dad likes to shoot pool and she doesn't.

Perhaps you could find an activity to get Dad out and away?
:shrug:

[Yollam]

7. Thanks for that.

If we go there again, I will definitely stay at bro's house or a hotel. I was just venting because the huge hunk o'crap computer arrived today, and now I get the hassle of sending it back to whatever cheeseball she ordered it from.

By the way, she has adopted ALL of my dad's hobbies so she can cling to him constantly. She's very insecure. She has broken down crying in drunken outbursts, saying that she "just wants to please us and for us to accept her." Of course that would be much easier to do if she wasn't constantly drunk, and constantly doing us "favors" that we never wanted in the first place...

[Ptah]

9. If nothing else, please smile when you see the

unsynchronized woohoo chorus:

[JVS]

8. You have to bite the bullet and seduce her

Then you can show dad the video and they will break up

[hickman1937]

10. I really don't want to post on this thread,

I really don't want to get slammed, but if she's an alcoholic she's got shame issues. Have you ever sat down with her with the determination to find something to like about her come hell or high water? It's not easy because drunks ramble. Sometimes they are just scared lost people over compensating with neurotic housekeeping, belligerent opinions, and stupid, hostility provoking choices.

[Ariana Celeste]

11. I'm so sorry.

That's really crappy. You know your dad better than any of us could... how do you think he would handle the truth? If you two have a good relationship, it may be best to talk to him frankly about it. I understand if you can't, though.. My SO can't talk to his dad about anything, so when he visits with his wife, we just handle it with smiles and once they are gone.... have a few drinks and take comfort in the fact we won't have to deal with it again for several months.
Maybe next time you can come up with an excuse to keep the trip short?

:hug:

[erinlough]

12. OK yollum, here goes a story to make you feel better

about the way you are feeling. I can't stand my Brother-in-Law, who lives next door to me. Ever since my sister died he has been drinking and is obnoxious and a know it all. He has let the house and property go and drinks and smokes until he is an idiot. I know it is probably grief, but he never talks as if he misses my sister, just how she betrayed him by not telling him she was going to die. I can't take it anymore and just stay completely away from him. I then feel crappy about hating the new him like he is.

Sucks to have problems with relatives.

[politicat]

13. Okay, to commisserate....

I love my mother, but she has taken her own sweet time realizing that a) I'm atheist and so don't celebrate most holidays; b) I'm very picky about most things (i.e. I like what I like and don't like half-assed substitutes) and c) I don't find her neck of the woods very inviting. (She lives in Mesa, Az.)

For the past several years for Christmas, she sends bottles of Wild Vines wine substitute. Now, I don't drink much to begin with, and Wild Vines is not on my list of things I ever want to have in my mouth again... So even when we ask her not to, that no, really, we don't celebrate anyway, we still get the bottles.

Sigh.

[Yollam]

15. Don't get me started!

That's so how "she" is! She gets EVERYTHING at Wal-Mart. Instead of buying just a few GOOD, quality or educational toys with some thought put into them, she buys them MOUNTAINS of junky toys for the same price at Wal-Mart, and they all end up in the trash within weeks.

She drinks that wine in the BOX :puke: . I'm not a big drinker, but damn, if I'm gonna drink something, I want it to be halfway decent. I never ask her for clothes for Christmas, because in addition to being cheap crap from Wal-Mart, it's always that polyester stuff with super-itchy huge seams on the inside.

[LaraMN]

14. So you're saying you don't really like her?

:rofl: I'm sorry!
She sounds like a piece of work. It's unfortunate she's dragging your Dad down with her. That's gotta be hard to watch. :hug:

[Yollam]

16. Thanks. It's tough.

We confronted my dad about his drinking 20 years ago, at that time he was much much worse, in a bad marriage, etc. I'm glad he's at least reasonably happy now and doesn't drink now like he did then (wine now, it was bourbon back then) but he has pretty much made it clear that he knows he is an incurable habitual drinker, but he's okay with that because he's functional otherwise and doesn't ever drive under the influence.

She drinks a lot more than he does, to the point of often slurring her speech and being incoherent, etc. And it's clearly had a negative effect on her cognitive abilities.

For some reason my dad seems to be content with her. I guess because she dotes on him, which is the exact opposite of how my mother was. At least I can be glad of that.