My boss's daughter just died

[Der Blaue Engel]

This morning I was reading fthisjob.com and laughing, thinking what a prick my boss is...and a few minutes later, his daughter was killed in a car wreck and he was sobbing and wailing in his office.

I don't know what to do or say; I freeze up at other people's tragedy because otherwise I'll personalize it and start sobbing myself.

It was his only daughter, his pride and joy. She just started college.

Jesus Christ this is awful. :(

[KitchenWitch]

1. damn that sucks

even if your boss is a dickhead.

[Der Blaue Engel]

2. Yeah, nobody deserves that

And I'm sure outside of work he's a very nice person. He's just not a good manager. I know he was a good dad. :(

[JVS]

3. Bummer. Offer him a ride to his house

[skygazer]

4. OMG, that's awful

Nothing wrong with sobbing yourself - I'd be sobbing. That's just a horrible tragedy. :cry:

[Lars39]

5. Is he still there?

Ask him if there's anything you could do for him, like drive him somewhere.

[Der Blaue Engel]

8. He left immediately to fly down to the hospital

She was still alive when he left for the airport, but apparently died before he got there. When I asked if there was anything I could do (before she died), he said "just pray." I know that it's better to offer something specific when someone is grieving, because they're overwhelmed, but I'm just so stunned I can't think. He has an assistant who's handling the travel arrangements and such.

Man, this just sucks.

[Lars39]

12. That's horrible.

:(

[Taverner]

6. Fucking A!

That sucks...you can go at any time and that's what scares me the most...

[Der Blaue Engel]

10. I know, it is scary

Your sig says it all, doesn't it?

[Taverner]

11. Indeed

[bigwillq]

7. What awful news!

I feel so bad for her family.
:hug: :(

[antigone382]

9. How horrible.

I can't tell you what to do, because each person's grief is different. For some, it's better to be left alone, to process things, while others need the comfort and company of others. Just go with your instincts.

[GumboYaYa]

13. My youngest sister was killed in a car accident 10 years ago.

Nothing anyone said or did helped my Dad. It is important to offer, but don't expect your boss to ever be the same again. He will change, whether it is for the better or worse depends upon the type of person he is. This type of loss for a parent never leaves them. I still see the sadness in my Dad's eyes every time we talk. I can say from personal experience that this is something a parent never recovers from. So very sad for him and his family.

[libodem]

20. this kinda nails it

I had a boss loose her daughter and two close friends loose teen aged sons. The grief is unbearable to watch. It does change people for good, they are never the same. Something is taken from them and unless you have gone through the loss of a child you can't ever fully understand. Be supportive and sympathetic. The first year is hell.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

14. My deepest sympathies and condolences, thoughts and prayers

to your boss's family. That's so sad:cry:

[SeattleGirl]

15. That's so sad!

My heart goes out to your boss.

[Left Is Write]

16. How awful!

I don't know what to tell you, other than perhaps to give him a small note of sympathy if you're afraid you'll break down by talking to him.

I have a daughter that age. I'm sorry for his loss.

[Shine]

17. Oh, my heart goes out to him.

What a tragedy. I'm so sorry for his loss. There's no soft landing for something like that. Sudden death is the worst.

and an only daughter, too.....Whew. So young. What a heartbreaker.... :cry:

[xmas74]

18. In my group of family and friends we send food.

There are always lots of people in and out of the house when a death has happened. Call a local deli and order a cold cut platter, some fruit and some buns. Or call a bakery and order a muffin basket. Get a couple of people in the office to help w/ the money and find a place that will deliver it(if possible).
If you feel comfortable making it and dropping it off do it yourself. Include some tea bags, some coffee w/ the filter attached, some paper plates(I know, bad for the environment but they are acceptable right now. No one wants to worry about dishes when they are making funeral plans), some paper napkins, etc.
They will want to offer their friends and family food but they don't want to think about it right now. My friends and I do this instead of flowers most of the time. We take muffin baskets, cold cut platters, large Tupperware containers full of homemade soup, etc over to the persons house, stay only for a minute, offer any other assistance they would need(trip to the store for supplies, groceries, etc)and then quickly leave unless they obviously want the company at the time.

[bamademo]

25. Are you Southern?

This is a very Southern thing to do although I lived in Jersey for a couple of years and it's also a very traditional Italian thing. My personal opinion is that it's a considerate thing to do no matter where you live. Just don't make the horrible Jello salad Funeral Foods that Southerners do. :-)

http://www.onthepage.org/food/funeral_food.htm

[xmas74]

26. No-I'm originally from WI.

I grew up in a Scottish-Irish family (and some German)in an Italian town. But I've lived in MO for a number of years. My family has always done this.
My best friend, OTOH, is from GA. She said her family has always done the same thing. It's just the considerate thing to do.

[flamingyouth]

19. That's horrible - I'm sorry to hear this.

And just BTW - don't worry if you start sobbing in front of a grieving person. Everyone deals with sad things in their own way. :hug:

[UrbScotty]

21. My advice: Be there for him

:hug:

[sendero]

22. How tragic....

.... there is nothing I can think of that would knock me into the depths of despair like losing one of my boys or my wife to an accident. I can't even think about it :(

[Der Blaue Engel]

23. Thanks everyone

It seems weird, needing support during someone else's tragedy, but you guys are always there for everyone and I really appreciate it. I really needed to talk to someone today.

:grouphug:

[boobooday]

24. Ahhhh, man

Sympathies to the poor guy. That's horrible.

I don't think there is anything you could say anyway. No harm in crying with him. I'm sure I would.

[Patiod]

27. Also, can you do anything to take the work-pressure off?

I have no idea what kind of office it is, but is there a way to say "don't even think about work - we will be holding down the fort until you can return?"