Could we talk about phone etiquette?

[trof]

1. IDENTIFY YOURSELF!
Don't just say "Macey?"
And it's MASSEY...Mass-see.
If you insist on using my first name and don't know how to pronounce it, I'll assume you're a telemarketer and hang up. Actually, if you don't know my nickname that all my friends know me by, I may hang up any way. If you address me as "Mr." I'll listen until I can figure out who you are..

I've hung up on dentist and doctor receptionists who were calling to remind me of an appointment the next day.
(ring)
"Macey?"
<click>
A minute later:
(ring)
"Is this Macey XXXX?"
"Who is this?"
"Oh, this is Darla from Dr. Smith's office."

Darla, darlin', it goes this way:
(ring)
"Hi, this is Darla from Dr. Smith's office. Is this MR. XXX?"
I don't mean to be crochety, Darla, but I'm almost 65 years old and you're about 20 and I'm not your best buddy so I expect me to call me MR. unless I say "Oh, please, call me Massey". Which I probably never will. Ok, I AM crochety. Tough noogies, Darla.

2. DO NOT LEAVE A STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS BLEEDING MANUSCRIPT ON MY VOICEMAIL.
"Hi, Mr. XXXX this is Julie Smith from the Friends of the Library and I guess you're not home. (No shit, Julie.)
I just wondered if you'd be available for a board meeting next Friday the 11th at 10 a.m. at the library? If Friday's not good for you we could maybe change it to Saturday afternoon sometime. One of our board members,George Bell, will be out of town on Saturday, but I think we'd still have a quorum. He and Verna are visiting their grandchildren in Edgemont. I have a wedding to go to Saturday morning so I can't be there until sometime in the afternoon. Anyway, if you can't make it please let me know and I'll call the rest of the board members. We need to firm up the plans for the book sale next month and I think...no wait...it's month after next for the book sale, but anyway...we need to firm up the plans and make assignments. Please call me as soon as you can. Thank you."

In spite of the manuscript, I'd really call you right back IF YOU LEFT YOUR FREAKING PHONE NUMBER SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK THE DAMNED THING UP!

Julie baby, here's what I'd like to know (and YOU are even allowed to call me Massey):
"Hi Massey, it's Julie Smith. We'd like to have a Friends of the Library board meeting Friday morning at 10. Please call me at 555-2234."

OK, what's yours?
;-)

[matcom]

1. rock on my brother!

:applause:

[Gormy Cuss]

2. "I don't mean to be crotchety"

I loved the rant and I feel the same way.


:hi:

[xmas74]

3. I expect them to immediately identify themselves

when they call my house. If they ask for me w/o identifying themselves I hang up. I don't care if they think it's rude. I find it rude that someone would call me by my first name(and horribly mangle it in the process) and not even tell me who they are.
Also, on an answering machine, they should repeat the callback number. The first time it should be said slowly but not so slow that someone would think I'm learning disabled. The second time it should be said at regular speed. That is how I was taught to leave messages many years ago when I worked in an office.

[Left Is Write]

4. Dad! Is that you?

:hug:

I get extremely irritated at people who mispronounce my name. It is not "Cathern" or "Cathreeeeeen". If you do not know how to pronounce "Catherine," I am fairly certain you do not know me.

[Ariana Celeste]

5. I have one.

This is what our answering machine says:

"Ok, here's the deal. I'm NOT going to pick up the phone, unless you leave a message. And, that's just how it works." (in male stoner voice)

So, leave a message. Don't wait until the message starts, and hang up, leaving 10 seconds of dial tone on my answering machine, just to call again, and repeat, several times. We screen our calls; we did our part to let you know that. We understand you don't like leaving messages, but, we don't like talking on the phone. And there are certain people that we just have to be in the right mood to deal with sometimes. Hence the screening of calls. Want to talk? Just leave a message. It's that simple.

It really gets on my nerves.

[bigwillq]

6. Oh, man, you guys are like, SO COOL

I wish I could be like you guys (in a male stoner voice) :P :) :hi:

[Ariana Celeste]

7. We are totally RAWKIN!

:hi:

You wouldn't want to be us! Our life is a maelstrom of old video games, cartoons, and unwanted phone calls. ;)

[bigwillq]

11. But the stoner part

I might like. I'm a reformed stoner! I use to be a pot head back in the day. Don't smoke any more!

[Ariana Celeste]

15. I quit too

for the most part. Ever since I started smoking cigarettes again, just makes my lungs feel weird and my throat tight. Unless I'm drunk.

[bigwillq]

17. Weed

just makes me hungry and want to sleep.
It doesn't give me the same effect anymore like when I was a stoner.

[ET Awful]

44. Also, a note to those who might be interested . . . any message that says

Please call XXXXXX regarding an important business matter is going to be promptly deleted. If it was important and it was business, you'd say who you were, and you'd call me at my place of business, not my home.

Also, if my caller ID says you have ID blocked, I'm not going to answer the phone. I have no desire to talk to someone who doesn't want me to know who they are until I answer.

[SharonRB]

50. Exactly what we do

If caller ID says "Out of Area" or "Unknown caller" or anything like that, fuhgeddaboudit. You'll never get us to answer the phone. Same goes for messages from unidentified people or companies. I also find that many people with names or business names we don't recognize never leave messages -- they just keep calling and calling and calling. Guess what, folks -- if you don't leave a message we'll never answer the phone when you call because we have no idea who you are.

[evlbstrd]

8. I answer, "Hello."

Caller: "Who's this?"
You called me, dickhead. Don't you know? Click.

[Left Is Write]

26. Oh, I do hate that too!

It's incredibly rude to call someone, and then demand that THEY identify themselves before YOU identify yourself.

[Orsino]

40. I'm willing to cut a *little* slack for this behavior...

...on my home or cell phone. The caller thought he was reaching a buddy, and was prepared to speak very informally (I imagine). Suddenly he's thrust into a conversation with a stranger he's never met and can't see. His geltenschauung has been shattered, and so he blurts out a question to try to get back on familiar territory.

I respond with a brisk-but-still-polite, "Who's calling, please?" The caller either hangs up, or apologizes for the wrong number, and hangs up.

[Jokerman]

41. "Who are you calling?"

Mom taught me that the proper response to a caller who asks "Who is this?" is "Who are you calling?". This annoyed the elderly ladies in my mom's clubs to no end but I was not supposed to identify myself until I knew who was on the other end.

[China_cat]

43. I just ask them who they are calling.

I get a lot of heavy apologies and, so far, not one to keep recalling.

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. Typical teenager-to-teenager call

Teenager: "Brian there?"*

Me: "Yes. Next question?"



*Said in such a way that I'm certain their lips, tongue and jaw aren't moving. The actual sound is something like "Rya ner?"

[trof]

13. Love it. Thanks for the chuckle.

:-)

[xmas74]

14. My dad always said that I was there and just waited.

He always said he was waiting for them to identify themselves and make a formal request to speak w/ me.

[rurallib]

10. When you answer be sure to include the CIA in your greetings.

"Hi Mom", "Hi Mr. CIA man, how's the weather out there tonight?"

[trof]

12. Caller ID kind of bugs me too.

I call a friend. It's nothing that important.
Maybe I need a tool you might have, or I'm just looking for an answer to a question that I think you might know.
But it's not anything I want to leave a message about.
So as soon as I get the machine, I hang up.

A few hours later:
"Hey. Why did you call?"
What I say is "Oh I was looking for some bolt cutters, but Bill had a pair."

What I'd like to say is "OK, I know you've got that whiz-bang caller ID, and I'm suitably impressed, so you know absolutley who everyone is who dials your number, but it really wan't important enough for me to leave a message, and so it just wasn't important enough for you to call me to see why I called you and didn't leave a message in the first place."

But I say "Thanks for calling. Nice talking to you."
:eyes:

[SharonRB]

51. I used to have a friend who had the same attitude

He'd get all pissed at me if I called him back when he didn't leave a message. Hmm....maybe that's part of why we're not friends anymore.

:cry:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

16. Don't bother getting your machine to call me.

I don't care if it's urgent. I won't call you back, and I won't stay on hold.

And if you don't speak any English and you misdial my number at 3am?
I accept apologies in all languages.

[China_cat]

45. We had one answering machine message

that my husband did in Dutch. It was hilarious to hear the responses.

[Missy Vixen]

18. Thank you!

>Julie baby, here's what I'd like to know (and YOU are even allowed to call me Massey):<

Mr. Trof,
I also do not care for those who do not have even the most basic telephone manners. Two of my pet peeves are those who either a) let their pre-preschoolers record an unintelligible answering machine or voice mail message; I'd like to know that I've actually reached the party I'm trying to call, and b) those who cannot be persuaded to take even a name and telephone number message when I call another member of the household.

Julie

[trof]

19. Miz t. weighs in:

Not phones, but tradespeople.
I don't know what else to call folks you deal with at stores.
Maybe there's a better term.
Miz t. is NOT a snob, by any definition of the term.
She comes from a very humble, working class background, but don't tell her I said that.
;-)


She took the car in to the dealership for a couple of minor repairs.
Her service manager was a 40ish woman.
Miz t. is 60-something.
"Hi, honey. What can we take care of for you today?"
"The windshield washers don't work and one of the interior lights is out."
"Well, sweetie, are you gonna wait for it?"
"No, my husband is picking me up. You can call us when it's ready."

Miz t.: "Dammit, I'm Mrs. XXX, not "honey" and not "sweetie". I know it's a southern thang, but I grew up in the south. I worked in retail for years, and I never called anybody "honey" or "sweetie". I. DO. NOT. LIKE. IT.

Dear Helen: Welcome to The League of Curmudgeons.
And I completely agree.
When, exactly, did we all get on such a chummy, first name, sweetie, honey basis?

[Ariana Celeste]

20. I have to agree there!

We're doing business, not going steady.

[trof]

21. Egg-Zackly

Thank you.

[Left Is Write]

27. Just for that, I wanted to call you "honey."

However, as you consistently remind me of my father, that would have felt weird and wrong!

I agree with Miz t.

[SharonRB]

52. I hate that, too.

I don't even know them and they're making like we just had a hot date.

[bamademo]

22. Do you think it's because we're Southern Baby Boomers?

I had manners drilled into me to the point where I went out of my way to eschew my parents teachings. Alas, it was to no avail. My Mother started in on me when I was two about etiquette.

I hate it when people leave long rambling messages for me. Just tell me, "Whoa, Carol! You won't believe what happened to me today" and I'll call you back.

[Shine]

23. Since I've NEVER met anybody with the same first name as me...

and most people who don't know me can't pronounce it, anyway, I can ALWAYS tell it's a sales call if they mispronounce it.

It's an easy weeding out process, believe me. That, and screening my calls helps, too.

;)

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. Yes, I'm glad I have a last name that most people butcher as well.

"Is Mr. XXXXX (pronounced wrong) there?"

"No one here by that name" (click)

[lizziegrace]

24. I know the new privacy laws relating to doctors and all

require that any medical information NOT be transmitted to anyone but the patient, unless the patient is a minor. So technically, (if I understand the laws) saying they're from the dentist or doctor's office is a violation of your privacy, if it's not you who answered the phone.

Otherwise, I agree completely with your rant. I think people have become downright rude.

[Beware the Beast Man]

25. That's a real bummer, Maurice.

[Sugar Smack]

28. Also, when youre eating Grapenuts while you're on the phone

with me, I find it PARTICULARLY disgusting and, likelier than not, will point it out to you. Same goes with Doritos, etc.

:wtf:

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. STAY AWAY FROM THE GODDAMN FOOD AND GUM WHILE TALKING

Jesus, that's annoying. Spit the goddamn gum out, or stop fucking eating before you call me. For Christ's sake, have some manners.

And if I accidentally bothered YOU while you were eating, have the courtesy to tell me, and I can call you back.

Many times I've had to say, "Well, clearly you are in the middle of a meal, so call me back when you are done" (when people have called me) or "I will call you back in a half hour" (when I've interrupted them).

Insensitive fuckwipe piggy little piggy fucks.

[Sugar Smack]

30. JINX! I beat ya by half a minute!

But yours was better than mine.

:hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. Well, I'm a professional ranter. You are still apprenticing.

:7

[Sugar Smack]

33. "Insensitive fuckwipe piggy little piggy fucks" is a level I

aspire to in my descriptions. Your kind & generous tuition may send me to ranting heights I'd never before dreamed. For example, I thought of you when I was grocery shopping today. Your description above might have been kind. :D

[driver8]

34. Always leave your freakin' number!!

Sure I may have it, but I might not be able to find it right now. If you want me to call you right back, leave your number!

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. And if you're leaving a message, don't say "it's me!"

Many times, I don't who "Me" is.

[NV Whino]

48. Oh God, I confess

I'm guilty of this one. :blush:

Most of the time it's okay. I have a distinctive voice and friends always know who "me" is. But I unfortunately get in the habit and do it sometimes with business calls.

[Kali]

36. Fresh start.

One of the biggest advantages to my entry into the world of the internet, combined with my rural situation has been the almost complete loss of the use of my land line. The computer is almost always on and connected. Nobody can get through. Only a very select few have my cell phone number...and they have been well trained that it is rarely where I can find or hear it ring. You need to contact me? try e-mail. ahhhhhhhh.

I HATE talking on the phone.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

37. When someone calls me and asks for "Mrs. Leftcoast," then I KNOW it's

a telemarketer.

When I was in graduate school, I had a Thai roommate who attracted the kind of geek who has a fetish about Asian women. They would spot her, actually follow her to our suite in the graduate dorm, note the number on the door, and match the number with the directory downstairs, which, in those more innocent days, gave everyone's full name. My roommate had no use for these guys, one reason being that she already had an American gentleman friend from her undergraduate days.

My Thai roommate's full given name had three syllables but no one who knew her, Thai or American, EVER called her by her legal name. She went by a one-syllable Thai nickname, so when someone called and asked for (Three Syllable Name), I KNEW it was one of her stalkers.

[gardenista]

38. Don't leave a long rambling message and then race through

your phone number at the end. By the time I have reached the end of your message, I have completely spaced out and am probably checking my email, stirring the soup, or petting the dog. I don't want to go through the entire message again just to get your number. LEAVE THE NUMBER FIRST.

Here's how:

Hi, it's XXXX. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Unless you live in a state that has only one area code, leave the area code! And then you get to talk as long as you like, but don't count on me listening to the whole thing.

[NMDemDist2]

39. and please! repeat you number at least twice

"Hi, I'm calling for Ms Jones regarding her appointment Tuesday. Please call us at xxx-xxxx to confirm. Again the number is xxx-xxxx to confirm Tue's appt. Thank you"

now that's how you leave a message!

[gardenista]

49. Amen!!!

By the way, are we all turning into curmudgeons?

LOL

[jmm]

42. If you call me asking for Mr or Mrs M

I'm hanging up on you. If you think I'm married then you don't know me well enough to be calling my home. I also hang up on anyone who mispronounces my name. It's pretty simply but ironically it's Americans who mess it up the most. Foreign telemarketers may say it with an accent but people from this country usually confuse my last name with another one. I've had people call me back upset after I hung up on them. I really have fun with them }(.

I also hate when people call acting like you own them something and grill you for info on someone else. I've especially had problems in this area with girls trying to talk to my brother. I've told some straight out, "If he wanted you to know where he was he would've told you but as soon as I talk to him I'll make sure he knows that some chick was being rude to his little sis."

[dryan]

46. I thought....

I was the only one who obsesses over phone manners. I think it has gotten steadily worse over the years. I don't like it when people I don't know call me by my first name -- it's a Southern thing I guess. I screen my phone calls using caller ID because we receive a lot of phone calls from someone that used to live in our house. It is very complicated and Southern Bell has still not been able to straighten it out and its been 2 years. One last thing, I really don't like it when I get a wrong number and the person just hangs up--rudeness personified.

[NV Whino]

47. Not leaving the phone number is number 1

But speaking to fast when giving the phone number is a close second. When I leave a message, I repeat the phone number again at the end of the message.

I also detest the old: "This is XXX returning your call." When I have called someone to get information, informed them I will be out and to please just leave the information on my machine. Argh!

:banghead:

[jonnyblitz]

53. people who don't identify themselves and leave a voicemail

message to call them back annoy me for some reason. "Hi, it's me". who in fuck is ME? yeah. perhaps if you have caller ID you can look at the number and figure out who it is , but still...