The average size of a wiener (and other interesting facts!)

Deja Q

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Wed Jan-11-06 08:58 PM
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The average size of a wiener (and other interesting facts!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hotdog

So I went to the grocery store and whipped out the ol' tape measure.

Most hot dogs truly are 15cm in length (6"). Given how they are made by machine, the fact that they are all nearly precisely identical in size is no shock either.

Of course, those "footlong" artery-clogging monstrisities are truly 30cm long. (12", sorry...) And if you've got digestion problems, they can be bowel-clogging too.

Thickness was also more or less consistent with regular hot dogs. The "plump" varieties were somewhat thicker... but if thickness matters to you, then always go for a bratwurst. You'll likely want to avoid those breakfast sausages too. They're small and limp, and not very tasty. Of course, certain types of sausages and bratwursts are made extra-thick. I'm not sure as to who these are catered to, but who am I to argue?

Hot dogs, contrary to popular belief, are actually made with real pieces of animal bits. Pork, beef, and even chicken bits constitute hot dogs. The only question is, which parts of those animals are used, and as such could that be why the sodium content is so high - adding unnatural flavors to make the things taste good? I don't care for eating ground-up chicken beak and pig testicle, thank you all the same.

Of course, the hot dog industry is huge. New inventions come out every day to make these American treasures even faster to make (and making us fatter faster, try saying that when you're drunk...) For example is this:

A 3-piece hot-dog toaster. Be careful how you stick your wiener in there... In fact, if you look at the larger picture (click on it from the source page), you can see that it will fit not one, but two wieners. So you can cook with a close friend!

And, of course, people are known to put hot dogs in buns. This is a very unhealthy practice, as buns are known to be bleached and chemically treated as to make mass-production more effective. It also adds empty calories and nothing of nutrient value.

Of course, some people love to eat dozens of these things for sport. I don't quite know why, though it's obvious that I've eaten my share of the things myself. A chap named Takeru Kobayashi is currently the fastest wiener eater; consuming 50 and 1/2 tubes of meat in twelve minutes. Hmmm, pity that was in 2002. Back in 1982, "Star Trek II" featured the Kobayashi Maru. A doomed freighter... wow, the irony.

Also, did you know Mickey Mouse's first spoken words were "Hot dogs!" Having seen what Mickey looks like, I'm not surprised. I'm more surprised by Minnie's liking of him... you'd think that men who eat wieners would be considered gross by the fair sex...

Best of all, hot dogs are known by many euphemisms. We've all heard "wieners". "sausages" and "bratwutst" also come to mind. But other names like "kielbasa", "knockwurst", "Smorgasdogs" (more bang for the buck?), and many others. The politically correct like to call them "ethnic sausages".

¿Any questions?