Christ. She fell waaaaay off the wagon. Sad Robb.

[Robb]

I'm out working, come back from covering a meeting (sue me, I'm a member of a vast media conspiracy ;) ) and the love of my life is just plain gone.

There was hyperventilating. There was stumbling. There was cursing. There was me helping her stay on a toilet seat long enough to pee. There was wild swinging ... luckily I'm a trained pro, I grabbed her and neatly flipped her onto her back onto the floor. There was more cursing. Crying. More hyperventilating. Hating me. Loving me. Then peace.

She's finally sleeping on the floor, blanket and pillow. I'm just waiting an hour or two, checking her breathing, before I try to coax her upstairs to sleep in an actual bed.

I've been drunk before. But God, I've never been this kind of drunk. Desperate. Angry. Repeating "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care" through clenched teeth like a mantra.

Naturally I didn't get much of a story out of her. Her disaster of a sister apparently dropped her off, so I called her and needled a story out of her. Apparently ran into her ex-husband, then found a barstool and some shots. I was gone three hours, tops. :(

It's been months, like 8 of them, since anything approaching this has happened.

Sad me. :( Ask me ... aw, hell. :(

[JVS]

1. I thought you got divorced or broke up or something.

This sounds shitty man!

[Robb]

2. Keep up!

:D

I kid, I kid. Divorced two years in April, one year of this (otherwise) angel and her (pregnant) 17 year-old daughter under my roof (she started young, too).

As I look at the above, I'm realizing the footnotes in my autobiography will be longer than the text. :eyes:

[JVS]

6. This might sound like a juvenile frat-type prank, but...

it's all I've got. Get a marker and draw a penis on her face. Maybe that'l help :shrug:

Seriously though, bummer dude. I know I get pretty drunk sometimes, but since I'm single it really doesn't seem to matter much.

[Robb]

8. I knew I could count on you

Oddly tempting idea, the marker. :) :thumbsup:

[Heidi]

3. Awwww, Robb.

Sorry you and the SO are going through that. All I offer you is a heepin' helpin' of good vibes. While you're taking care of her, don't forget to take good care of _you_, too.

[Robb]

5. Way ahead of you.

1) Ensure she breathes
2) Pour glass of wine
3) Hit the Lounge
4) Profit! (sorry, old slashdot joke)

:hi:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

4. I'm sorry, Robb...

Is she getting help from AA?
:hug:

[Robb]

7. Nope

She's been through it before, and I'm unconvinced she'd do anything but go through the motions there.

She was getting help by working out, having a fulfilling life, all that crap. Helping others. Saving lives (series!) working on the ambulance, doing PT for folks at the clinic.

Ach. Big, BIG fall. :(

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. It happens...

You can only take one day at a time. If it can't help her, AlAnon could help you know how to cope. Please consider...You need to take care of yourself. :hug: for both of you :hug:

[Robb]

12. What, this isn't coping?!?

:D

Thanks, dearie. :grouphug:

[yvr girl]

9. You must love her to put up with stuff like that

I couldn't deal with it.

[Robb]

10. Honestly, I didn't know I had it in me

But she's so ... amazing.

The thing I love most of all in this woman is empathy. She's actually got it, the real thing. I've watched her care for someone in the ambulance, and it's no put-on.

She's truly been through a life that could've kicked my ass, and is still breathing. I know, because I just checked. :eyes:

But seriously, she's just so special. I refuse to give up, because something precious, something this world really, really needs would be lost, if she's lost.

So yeah, I love her. :)

[RevCheesehead]

13. Wow. What a tribute.

I can only hope to find someone who loves me as much as you love your SO.

Sorry it's been a rough night. :hug: