Okay, here is the real reason I am a lesbian. Why are YOU . . .

[bertha katzenengel]

gay, straight, bi, or other?

Here it is. Are you ready?

I'm a lesbian because I love cats, hate to dress in really fancy "girl" clothes, refuse to wear makeup, like my hair very short, wear baseball caps, carry my wallet in my back pocket when I wear jeans, and play ball better than any man who ever called me a dyke.

[Beware the Beast Man]

1. I like boobies.

:shrug: Always have.

[Floogeldy]

4. I'm betting that you . . .

. . . wouldn't like my boobies.

[aclog]

17. He said BOOBIES

not moobs

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. I'm straight because MrG came along and well, it seemed like a

good idea at the time? :shrug: ;)

[Floogeldy]

3. That's interesting because it sounds like your sexuality . . .

. . . is a result of your lifestyle and/or personality.

I'm a hetero because women get me hot..

:shrug:

[bertha katzenengel]

8. hi, Floog...

it's a joke. :)

I wouldn't even say my lifestyle and/or personality is a result of my sexuality. Probably a little of both, both ways.

:hi:

[Floogeldy]

16. Hellooooooooooo!!!!!!

:puffpiece:

;)

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. Het by logical decision

I get enough rejection from women. :blush:

[LeftyMom]

6. Because women are complicated

and I need somebody taller to reach the stuff on the top shelf.

[bertha katzenengel]

9. that's the spirit, L-W

:bounce:

[ZombieNixon]

7. T & A

Pretty straighforward.

[elshiva]

15. I appreciate your honesty, ZombieNixon

T&A for me too! :blush:

[ZombieNixon]

18. We are nothing if not honest!

:rofl:

[elshiva]

10. I am a bisexual because

I had a girlfriend since I was five and we used to take showers together, of course
we got made fun of when we got to be 12 and became straight and left me for
a man.... :( :cry:

Pretty sure I was a lesbian until college when I had a crush on a male
professor who was so gorgeous and so, so femme. Religious Studies professor from
Canada who'd always brag about how Canada had universal health care...
Married and no I never even tried, he is a saint, but I LOVED hugging him and
he once touched me on the knee... :loveya:

And then there was John Kerry...

But I still love the Ladies, tooo!

[XemaSab]

11. Because being a woman, I know how screwy they are

Also, men are HOTT.

[GOPisEvil]

12. I wanna play with toys I don't already own.

:silly:

[sundog]

13. i'm gay cause

you can usually get them out before bedtime

[RetroLounge]

37. .

:thumbsup:

RL

[Blue-Jay]

14. I do all that stuff too.

hmmmm.

[Redneck Socialist]

19. I like cats...

...hate to dress in really fancy "girl" clothes, (well, never tried "girl" clothes, so I guess I can't really say.) refuse to wear makeup, like my hair very short, wear baseball caps, carry my wallet in my back pocket when I wear jeans, (or any other pants for that matter) and suck at playing ball, though I reckon I can out fish anyone on this board. And oh yeah, no one has ever called me a dyke.

Is that why I'm straight? :P

[bertha katzenengel]

56. Redneck Socialist...

I married a redneck, and I'm more socialist than democrat... does that make us siblings? ;)

[Redneck Socialist]

74. I reckon so

It seems we have so much in common. Separated at birth perhaps? :7

[NNadir]

20. My heterosexuality is caused by a genetic disease.

There is, apparently no cure, but I have tried counseling to make me gay, but not medication. I do not feel that my condition is serious enough to require medical intervention. Everyone who is involved in the manifestations of my symptoms, does so under their own free volition.

I will have to live with it. I openly live with a woman, and I happen to live in a state that recognizes the union of a man and a woman. I note, for those who question it, that my relationship has not caused any gay relationships to fail. Nor have I attempted to recruit any gay people to adopt my lifestyle.

I say live and let live.

I do note that when I was a young man, some aspects of my condition caused me to behave like a complete asshole, but I have managed to control my symptoms in later life. Although many people are aware of my sexuality, it has not impacted the respect of my community in any way. I am a fully productive citizen.

[Orsino]

35. I was raised by str8s...

...who converted me at an early age, so I decided to marry one.

Get used to it.

[I Have A Dream]

47. That's great!

:rofl:

[bertha katzenengel]

58. NNadir

:thumbsup: dig this post!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

21. I'm straight because I think men are hot.

OK, some of them.

Bush and Cheney are not hot.

[NMMNG]

22. I find women romantically and physically appealing

And I don't find men romantically or physically appealing.

[Robeson]

24. Buffy, we are so much alike......

....:hi:

[tjwmason]

23. I'm gay because I fuss over my hair constantly.

Can tell whether my clothes match even in pitch-darkness,

Can shop for 12 hours straight without drawing breath,

and because I want to destroy western civilisation.

[MadAsHellNewYorker]

46. bwahaha!

I wanna destroy western civilization too...but thats just cause im a anarchist socialist :P

[DJ MEW]

54. I am the same way but

I have enough clothes to go 6 months without washing and yet I never have anything to wear.

[bertha katzenengel]

59. Is your photo in the dictionary under "gay?"

;) :hug:

[Strong Atheist]

25. Bi. Suspect pituitary/hormones. You know

what Woody Allen said (one of his few things I agree with) : It doubles your chances of getting a date friday night ...


...well, maybe not DOUBLES ...

[LostinVA]

26. I don't carry a wallet in my pocket, but I LOVED Lilith Fair

[bertha katzenengel]

60. Lost...

Not Northern VA, eh? ;) :flirt:

[benny05]

80. I went to Lilith Fair in 1999

But not because I was gay...I'm straight...just love the music and that was only by women....

[Dirty Hippie]

27. I'm gay

cuz nothin' gets me hotter than a big ole' diesel dyke with attitude who wants to boss me around. Then I flip 'em in bed and make them beg for mercy.

[Jamastiene]

72. Hummala baby!

You sound like my type of woman. :P

[Ellen Forradalom]

28. I'm a 1 on the Kinsey scale

because I love both cats and dogs, carry my wallet in my back pocket when I wear jeans, on rare occasions wear girly clothes but refuse to wear makeup or flashy jewelery, am in a traditionally-male occupation, am married to a man but don't wear an engagement or wedding ring, sometimes wear my hair short and sometimes in a bob, and confuse the hell out of people ("You've got a husband? I thought you were a lesbian!")

[bertha katzenengel]

61. Hi, Ellen...

:hi: :7

[billyskank]

29. Hey maybe I'm a lesbian too!

I like cats, I also hate to dress in really fancy girl clothes, I too refuse to wear makeup and I keep my hair really short!

I wear a beanie hat rather than baseball caps though, my wallet is in my front pocket, and nobody ever called me a dyke. Somebody did ask me if I was gay though. :)

Now I'm confused!

[Maine-ah]

30. I've been in love with my husband since I was 12 years old.

I had my first kiss with another "man" when I was ten. Never looked the other way.

other reasons:

* Harrison Ford
* Sean Connery

I'm sure there are plenty of other men to put in my list, but these two have always been at the top of mine. Though I betcha my husband wouldn't mind if I would swing the other way too, as long as he could watch :evilgrin: or participate.

[4dsc]

31. straight

love cats too dress simply, wear no makeup, my hair's falling out, hate wearing baseballs caps, carry cash and credit cards(wallets are so out) and love to play softball on a coed team..

[Left Is Write]

32. I'm straight because....

The Clenis™ made me do it.

[cfield]

33. I'm bi because

I, too, like boobies, but I couldn't live without my husband and his...equipment. It just does it for me!
I haven't had any other guy work me quite the way he does and if I ever lost him, I'd probably look for a woman for companionship-in a phyiscal way. Although I don't think I'd ever fall *in* love again, I could love a woman easier than a man-emotionally. Which would lead into the physical aspect of things, of course.

[ismnotwasm]

34. Straight Female

Because I trim my own trees, paint my own house, dug my new drain field built my own patio and love to get dirty. I hate to shop, hate purses, hate make up, work out, but I dress girly if I damn well feel like it. And I'm starting to feel like a fool because I STILL love Slayer. And I'm gettin' OLD.

[RetroLounge]

36. I'm a straight man just because I am.

Except on Thursdays when I wear a lavender shirt, stick a bandana in the pocket of my blue jeans, put on my combat boots, and listen to the Indigo Girls all day. :D

But I still can't bring myself to like cats. :shrug: Darn allergies...

:hi:

RL

[Atmashine]

38. Wow, this all sounds like...

PART OF THE LIBERAL AGENDA! Sorry, I heard someone at work say that the other day, after talking about why they don't let their kids watch Kids PBS cartoons and I couldn't really think of what the Liberal Agenda is except to destroy America with Gay Atheist Terrorists. But back to the subject, straight cause I don't like hairy fuzzy guys such as myself.

[Rabrrrrrr]

45. LOL! And I'm straight cuz the thought of a guy's hairy ass in my face

is a total turn off. :-)

Though truthfully, all humor aside, sexual orientation isn't about sex anyway - it's relationships. It's more about who you want to hold hands with. And I don't know any guys, except maybe Brad Pitt or David Duchovny, that I want to hold hands with.

[bertha katzenengel]

63. BINGO! Quote:

"It's more about who you want to hold hands with."

Leave it to an artist to cut to the heart of the matter. Not that others haven't, but this is quite succinct.

:hug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

77. I'm glad you like the phrase, but I can't take credit -

a gay friend told me that many years ago. I haven't heard anything better since then, so that's what I use.

He is a wise man. :-)

[Canadian Socialist]

75. Rabrrrrrr! Stay away from my boyfriend...

David Duchovny. He is SOOO beautiful, isn't he? Yeah, like I have a shot. <sigh>

[tigereye]

62. wow

not letting kids watch PBS cartoons is just incomprehensible to me! Good "values" are actually taught in those cartoons. :shrug: Just cuz of one episode with Buster? Oh, and the Teletubbies, I forgot.


But they probably don't mind em watching a lot of violence... Sigh.

and welcome to DU, BTW.

[Spacemom]

39. I'm straight because

He's handy around the house and I'm not. :P

[xmas74]

40. I'm hetero.

But I like cats. I do like girl clothes but hate the ruffly, taffeta kind. I wear makeup all the time and right now my hair is short(donated the ponytail a few months ago-it was time for an appearance change). I like baseball caps and wear them to show support my teams (yep, those kind of caps). I like my wallet in my purse because I like carrying a purse. Why? Have you noticed how many things you can get away w/ carrying in a purse? Whoever came up w/ the idea of big purses is a genius in my book!
I suck at baseball but used to be good at three-pointers. In my old town, any girl who was good at a sport(especially baseball or basketball) was a lesbian, according to public opinion. And I've been called a dyke by nearly every man that I've turned down in a bar.
I'm hetero but I took a test awhile ago about personality being masculine or feminine. Turns out I'm androgenous. I'm a perfect 50-50 split which makes me misunderstood by most.

[bertha katzenengel]

64. Isn't it Guy Law #207: "If a chick turns you down in a bar, save face:

call her a dyke." ??

:hi:

[xmas74]

67. I think it might be.

Especially if the chick leaves w/ her girlfriends instead of the loser men hanging around the bar.

[rbnyc]

41. The reason I'm bi...

...doubles my chances of getting laid.

[William Bloode]

42. It's very simple,

Women get me all hot and bothered, men do absolutely nothing for me. In fact to much male butt, or dangle in a porno will turn me off. The thought of a woman caressing me, wonderful, the thought of a male caressing me disturbing.

[wildhorses]

43. straight

love cats, love fancy clothes and makeup on ocassion, like my hair long or short, wear hats of all kinds, carry a Vera Bradley billfold in my designer purse (it is a weakness to which I succumb) and play ball better than any man who ever called me a dyke!!!



play ball...

[Rabrrrrrr]

44. You also prefer pickups ove cars and know how to use a wrench, right?

And like to wear flannel plaid shirts?

And nothing gets you a hotter than the new Husqvarnas, I bet.

[bertha katzenengel]

66. Rabrrrrrrr....

:rofl:

(what's a Husqvarna?)

[Rabrrrrrr]

76. Chainsaw company

:rofl:

[Rob H.]

48. Straight cuz I was born that way

but I also don't care at all about sports, love cats, and am growing my hair long again. Wait--what was the question again? :crazy: ;)

[Maestro]

49. I'm straight because I was born that way.

I guess. :shrug:

[Shine]

50. There is no reason I am straight. It's just the way it is.

:hi: bertha!

[La Lioness Priyanka]

51. i am bi because i dont really see the big difference in men and women

[skygazer]

52. I'm bi because

Life is more fun that way!

[terrya]

53. I'm gay because:

I like being gay. I wouldn't change it at all. After all, hoe can I have my love, Doug, in my life if I weren't gay?

[Jamastiene]

55. Did they use the same mold to make us?

We sound identical as far as fashion and functionality. I love cats too. I haven't played ball in years though. Great thread, btw.

[bertha katzenengel]

68. Jama...

:hi: ;)

Meow.

[khashka]

57. I'm gay because

if I wasn't, it would make having sex with men rather awkward.

Khash.

[bertha katzenengel]

69. hi, Khashka

LOL

:hug:

[tigereye]

65. hmmm I think I could have been bi

but I really like guys the best. It's their hands, dammit. :) Well, and other things.

:evilgrin:

:hi: Bertha

[bigwillq]

70. I like men.

I was born this way! :) :hi:

[xchrom]

71. i have a cuisinart, love to wear gucci and prada,

love to garden and would look at you like you had lost your mind if you threw a baseball at me.

i damn near faint when i see any attractive man -- and i for one DON'T need to hold hands with them.

i love to collect furniture -- and talk fabric choices for hours.

i never need a lover -- love being alone -- and i thinking fucking is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

when i do fall in love -- they keep their own pad. and it had better be tasteful -- and they had better be a fuckin animal behind closed doors.

[NashVegas]

73. Other?

I love cats. Love to dress up in fancy "girl" clothes, but only on occasions when I have reason to want to look like a girl and be rewarded for it. Rest of the time I'm a slob :D Make-up, the same deal. Wear my hair medium length and loathe baseball caps - gimme a fabulous hat! I don't like wearing jeans anymore cause they just don't flatter my hips the way they did when I was 20, and can't swing a baseball bat to save my life.

The trouble is past abuse issues I'm still working on getting around. It's only a year ago I remembered how much I used to really really really like boys. So for now, it's still 'other.' Or as one friend of mine once put it: monosexual.

[Neshanic]

78. Gay. When young saw Fabio on the "Loveboat". No questions after that.

[Glenda]

79. I used to carry my wallet in my back pocket quite a few years ago

My friend's husband told her that he worried that people would think I was a lesbian. My friend told me this at the grocery store as we were checking out and we laughed hysterically.

We thought that maybe if I grabbed the grocery clerk, threw her to the counter and had my way with her that would indicate that I might be a lesbian. But not the wallet in the back pocket! ;)

:hi:

[dpbrown]

81. I'm straight because girls are purty and they smell good...

They also match innie with my outie in a way that I like lots.


:evilgrin: