how is this for a Dear John (Joan) letter?

[wildhorses]

no need for details...let it stand as it is...


Thanks for your note. As I said earlier, I indeed had
a great time meeting you and having fun exploring the
local area. Thanks for being such a good host and to
be so willing to meet me.

What's changed since I got back, is that a gal I spent
the summer with, contacted me. She has reconsidered
her previous thinking and offered to pick up where we
left off. Since I have a lot more time and emotion
invested in that relationship, I have had to do some
hard thinking these past few days. So I have decided
to take her up on her offer.

I am sorry if this disappoints you, as I know you
enjoyed our time as well. I am glad that we met and
got to know each other. I appreciate our time together
and all the conversations leading up to it. And also
all the time and energy you put into it.

I appreciate you for being such a great person.
I wish you the best in all your endeavors.

[Texasgal]

1. I think thats thoughtful

and to the point! No need to alter IMO.

[wildhorses]

2. and if you were on the receiving end?

just wondering how they will take it....

[Texasgal]

5. Well... I think I would be

thankful that you were so honest.

Really.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Well.... I would thankful to have received it.

If I received it, I'd be relieved, perhaps thankful, that the relationship has ended before investing any more time or energy into it because, if I were the female, I'd probably be ending it soon on my own.

[wildhorses]

12. ubeccha

I could not help but think....


what a POMPOUS asshole



BTW....this was sent by email

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. Well, you asked what we thought of it.

I was just being honest.

[wildhorses]

28. yes, I know and I do appreciate your honesty

and sheeesh I thought I was agreeing with you....

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. Oh, sorry - I thought you were calling me the pompous asshole

But I have now read your posts below and see that you are the receiver, not the sender.

Hell, had I known from the beginning that you received it, and didn't send it, I'd have used more adjectives. :-) But I didn't want to hurt your feelings, since it appeared you were the writer, so I held back.

Yes, pompous asshole he is! And even more!

[wildhorses]

36. that means a lot to me

coming from you...

tough critic that you are...

feel free to tear it up line by line...

[Radical Activist]

4. Maybe you should have it notarized and put on letterhead

since its so formal. :shrug:

[wildhorses]

9. that is what I thought

I actually received this....



I busted out laughing

[Radical Activist]

13. haha

Good, I'm glad it wasn't you who wrote it. It sounds like this shouldn't be a big loss for you.

[wildhorses]

15. no way could I ever write such a coldhearted POS

I am way too passionate



probably to a fault....



thing is ....does it even have the ring of truth to it????

[Radical Activist]

17. I actually wrote a formal break up letter like this once...

Of course I was 16 or 17 and socially awkward at the time. Without knowing the person I wouldn't have any idea if its a matter of being socially inept or total BS. Some people just don't know how to break up well, but at least you didn't have any personal property damaged. I hate it when that happens.

[wildhorses]

19. true....no property was damaged

and I guess really the only thing that was really hurt was pride


but, I smell BS myself

[LeftyMom]

6. It's pretty gentle,

but the last line is a bit cold. "I wish you the best in all your endeavors" reads more like a rejection letter for a job than a break-up letter, IMO. Also, were I writing the letter (not that I'd break up with someone in a letter, that's a in-person or at least on the phone thing) I'd add a few details about the person I was breaking up with I appreciated, because "being such a great person" is a little generic.

[wildhorses]

16. I received this

no way could I ever break up with someone by email

[hfojvt]

7. It is thoughtful

but of course, I would be thinking - "so you are taking this indecisive yo-yo over me? Do not even think about coming back to me after she burns you again a$$wipe." but that's probably just sour grapes talking.

[wildhorses]

10. my thoughts exactly

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. I wish you the best in all your endeavors????

did he/she apply for a job?

[wildhorses]

11. that line actually had me

rolling in the floor laughing my ass off



looked something like this:rofl:

[hfojvt]

14. I always hated that line in job rejection letters too

but usually they do not say "all your endeavors" but rather "your job search"

[In_The_Wind]

18. It's not exactly the "Dear Joani" break-up email that I got.

But it's just as cold.

BTW ~ Breaking up by email isn't okay.

[wildhorses]

20. I totally agree

what an absolute dumbass


glad he kicked me to the curb


hope his waffling "gal" makes him oh sooooooo happy

[In_The_Wind]

25. !

On Saturday he was making plans with me for the next few months.
The following Tuesday I received a "Dear Joan/John" email with this subject line ~ "Time to let go".
In his email said he had met someone and then he said ~ "I must go to her."

[wildhorses]

26. at least he showed some passion

I mean it sucks and all that he did it in an email (how tacky can you get?)

but the "I must go to her" line

is so much better than the bullshit "gal from this past summer" shit that I got


but at least mine was laughably horrible


while yours was just sad....


I'm sorry :hug:

[Radical Activist]

21. I hate it when that happens

But I had only been going out with the woman who did that to me for three weeks so I didn't think doing it by email was a big deal. The fact that it was two days before the Presidential election bugged me a little.

[ScreamingMeemie]

23. paragraphs 2 and 3 appear to be unnecessary. And 1 and 4 are

very formal, like thanks for the tea formal.

I would have no want to read the details of why. Blech. :hi:

[VolcanoJen]

24. It should have been signed "Best" or "Fondly"

Other than that, it's a thoughtful letter in the sense that, well, most guys would just put off that conversation until the bitter end... or they'd just stop returning phone calls and emails.

[supernova]

27. What a cold letter!

I wouldn't want to get that. But really, if that's the sentiment, I'd be glad to be rid of them. Yech!

[wildhorses]

29. it amazes me that people can read the exact same words

and come away with such different opinions....


you say cold (as do I)

and other people in this thread think it is a nice letter


this was a breakup not a job offer

[supernova]

30. Well, exactly

'this was a breakup not a job offer"

That's the way I feel. It means their feelings for you were limited in the first place.

[wildhorses]

31. true

and I am well shed of him...


what I am trying to say is....

you saw cold and VolcanoJen saw nice


I guess I can say yeah it is nice for job offer rejection
but damn cold for a breakup...

[supernova]

33. I am sorry sweetie

:pals:

[wildhorses]

34. ahhhh thanks !!! it is in the past now but

after reading RL's poem for the day and people's comments. It got me to wondering how other people would have taken this email...of course I am the only one here who knows the whole story
I just wanted the words to be judged on their own...trying to be as objective as possible with the letter itself. I think it about 50/50,,, cold/nice. weird, huh?
:pals:

[NashVegas]

35. He Meant Well - Maybe

Be glad he took the time, at least, and didn't just drop off the face of the planet.

I was in a similar situation last summer (I suspect it didn't go as far as yours did), and got one of those letters where I was told "I'd love to, but there's this other gal ..." I think guys think if they say something like that (even if it's true) we won't feel quite so rejected. In my case, the guy meant well, he just didn't realize that I'd see that and think: "so what! If she's that great you wouldn't have have been looking around, and if you think I'm so great, why does she matter squat to you?"


Be glad you are rid of the rat.

[wildhorses]

37. I am glad

and he did not have to write at all...especially since he is 2000 miles away...