Things we'd never hear U say:

[BikeWriter]

Me:
1. I loathe raw steak. Eating steak is so cruel to the sweet cows. Pass the tofu!
2. I love how the adorable stray cats fertilize my garden and run those noisy song birds away.

[EstimatedProphet]

1. I love Dubya! I love republicans!

Corporatism is great! The economy is fine! Life is so much better now than it was 30 years ago! The US should kick everyone's ass around the world!

[BikeWriter]

5. Hee hee hee! That one covers 95% of freeper's posts.

[REDKING]

100. Ive got nothing to post now.

[ghostsofgiants]

2. "Simple Plan is without a doubt the pinnacle of punk rock."

"Michael Bay is working on a new film? FUCK YES!!!"

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

3. "Installing a server? You can't go wrong with Windows 2003."

[flamingyouth]

4. "I wish it would rain more here."

:banghead:

Edited to fix smilie error.

[SeattleGirl]

8. ROFL!

:rofl:

[flamingyouth]

32. And "I think I'll take my paperback out on the deck today."

It's a perfect day for reading outside. :D

[SeattleGirl]

35. Do they make books with plastic pages?

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

147. Goody, it's almost Wednesday and I get to go to group therapy!

[bertha katzenengel]

6. "Hey, Big Daddy... why don't you saunter on over to BikeWriter's yard

and see if he has any tasty Carolina wrens?"

;) Hi, BW

[BikeWriter]

12. Yikes! Hee hee hee!

:hi:

[bertha katzenengel]

14. Thought you'd like that, big fella.

;)

[undeterred]

7. I give up.

[buddhamama]

9. Me:

1) nice people suck

2) freedom and equality are overrated

[ulysses]

111. LOL

1) nice people suck

:D

[Inspired]

10. I want to attend Bob Jones U

[SeattleGirl]

11. "I think women who flirt are shameful"

:rofl:

[Shine]

13. Life sucks. I hate everybody. People are basically assholes.

it's weird to even TYPE it....
heheh.

:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

15. Make fun of Texas all you like. In fact, I'll join you.

[BikeWriter]

24. Ooh, me too,Pard!

[Radical Activist]

16. My new girlfriend is a conservative Republican.

[khashka]

17. 1. Ann Coulter is very insightful. She makes a lot of sense.

2. Homosexuals should only be given two choices: conversion therapy or the death penalty.
3. I am entering the seminary to become a Catholic priest.
4. Books? Why would anyone waste their time reading books?

Khash.

[tjwmason]

45. I can now rest easy - on the basis of all of those.

Mine -

Yes we should adopt American spellings they're so much easier.

No I won't bother with a tie today - a nice t-shirt and pair of shorts will do nicely. (Seriously I'm getting :scared: now.)

Tony Blair's not that bad really, I mean anybody could make a few little mistakes like that - I'm sure he never meant to lie to the British people constantly for the past 8 years.

We should really knock down all these nasty old buildings - they're so hideously ineffecient, some nice concrete would work much better.

[BikeWriter]

46. Great ones, Kashka!

[Straight Shooter]

18. Okay.

1. Those kids across the street are so cute, I just wish they would scream a little louder.
2. Hey, neighbor, could you turn your bass up, it will save me some demolition cost.
3. I'm proud to be American and will be even prouder when it's a theocratic empire.

x(

[jonnyblitz]

19. "I wish cindy sheehan would shut the hell up, she is making my

favorite DEM, Hillary Clinton,look bad."

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. 'Baseball season?

Meh. I can wait. Football is so much more entertaining."

"Monty Python? Marginally amusing, very sophomoric. Now, Adam Sandler — that guy makes me laugh!"

"Old Chevies? No class, no style at all. Chrome is overrated. Gimme a Ford Escort anytime."

[Radical Activist]

21. I really think you should work harder and take life more seriously.

[supernova]

22. I wanna do pole dancing at THEE Doll House

I'm tired of being an intellectual, I just wanna answer a booty call.

[aclog]

67. I think you really mean this

quit lying to yourself already :D

[supernova]

77. Why? Would you watch?

[Richard Steele]

82. "I would never go watch Supernova perform at THEE Doll House"

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:

[supernova]

85. LMAO!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:blush: :blush:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[aclog]

89. PM me your #

and I'll supply the booty call :)

[BikeWriter]

23. * wasn't AWOL. He served honorably.

[BikeWriter]

25. * looks so manly in uniforms.

[Jamastiene]

26. I'll have vanilla ice cream or angel food cake.

You'll never hear me pass on a chance to have CHOCOLATE. Oh my goodness, not much better in this world than chocolate when it comes to food.

We are opposite on the steak. IRL, I like mine well done, but then again, I cook mine different than most people. Oh yeah, and you'll never hear me turn down A-1 steak sauce if I am eating steak in public. I almost never like the way it's cooked elsewhere, so the A-1 sort of fixes that somewhat.

Also, you'll never hear me say, "I voted how Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson told me to vote." Never will happen. Nada.

[BikeWriter]

27. Boobs are so over rated.

[William Bloode]

28. Lets see.

1: Don't pass me that joint, i've had enough.

2: I'm going vegatarian.

3: I'm gonna vote Repulican this year.

[BikeWriter]

33. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[WritingIsMyReligion]

29. "Writing is the vilest thing on earth."

OR

"Jazz 'music' is awful. What the fuck is Charlie Parker doing?"

OR

"I love organized religion with all my heart."

All of 'em are things that would never come outta my mouth.

[Catchawave]

30. "I'm so glad I married a Republican"

*snort*

[RetroLounge]

31. For me...

1) All poetry sucks and is a waste of time.

2) I wish my wife would come out of the closet and dump me.

3) I hate Xanax. Panic attacks are fucking cool!

4) Go Packers...

5) No thanks, oral sex is against my religion.

RL

[Not_Giving_Up]

34. 1. Texas humidity rules!

2. I'm good, you can finish that bowl by yourself.
3. Meet my nice, calm, well behaved children.
4. Meet my psychological stable mother.
5. I'm voting for Tom DeLay! (Well, I DO live in his district!)

[BikeWriter]

36. Hee hee hee! Hello, Home Girl.

I'm glad to see you, Sweety.

[jobycom]

37. "Wow. A rotting dead animal. Looks like food!"

[madeline_con]

38. "I'm hot for DUH-bya."

Oh... I feel... aw no! :puke:

[BikeWriter]

41. ACK!

[XemaSab]

39. That bird skull would look really cool on my shelf,

but possessing bird skulls is illegal, so I'll just let the earth reclaim it.

[jobycom]

40. "You know, there is one thing I really admire about Reagan."

[BikeWriter]

42. Ooh, good shot!

[jmm]

43. 1) Scott Stapp is the next John Lennon

2) I love KFC's honey barbecue wings
3) Thanks for approaching a stranger such as myself in public to tell me about your God. I was planning on going straight to hell in a hand-basket but now since you have informed me that your wrathful God condemns my wicked ways I shall repent.
4) Kill them all let God sort them out.
5) I love diamonds. They're beautiful, worth every cents De Beers sets the price at, and all those stories about conflict in the industry are greatly exaggerated.
6) I am so glad that guy moved in downstairs from me. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't get to wake up to songs like "Wait" by the Ying Yang Twins and "Laffy Taffy."

[In_The_Wind]

44. I wish it would snow forever.

[GirlinContempt]

47. Who's U?

[flvegan]

48. If Bikewriter isn't going to eat his steak, can I have it? I love steak!

and
For vacation, should I head south to enjoy a whaling expedition, or north to club seals? Decisions, decisions...

[BikeWriter]

50. A baby seal walks into a bar...

"What'll you have?" asks the bartender.
"Anything but a Canadian Club!" replies the seal.

[taterguy]

49. put your clothes back on

[BikeWriter]

86. Make my drink iced tea.

[Deja Q]

51. "Sex is overrated"

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

53. That's almost as bad as "Not tonight. I have a headache."

[bridgit]

52. "no thank you; i don't think i'll be having any sex today after all"

:rofl:

[BikeWriter]

55. ROFL!

[LeftyMom]

54. Wow, a good steak really is better than sex!

;)

[aclog]

60. Well, c'mon, its not like they're mutually exclusive

[LeftyMom]

62. They pretty much would be with my current love interest.

I like that about him. :)

[aclog]

65. Its OK to cheat once and a while

[LeftyMom]

66. ?

No it's not. :wtf:

[aclog]

72. Wait til he falls asleep then slip out for a Big Mac

trust me, its worth it ;)

[LeftyMom]

73. Oh yuck.

I think I'll pass. :puke:

[aclog]

75. Its no fun if its not sleazy

[Gold Metal Flake]

56. I'm buying a new car!

One of those sweet domestic brands!

2) Take the Bill of Rights, please!

[BuelahWitch]

57. I'll never watch a black & white movie!

2. I HATE clown puppets!!! ;)

[BikeWriter]

58. Long hair and beards are so gross. I'm going to shave mine.

[aclog]

59. I'm a workaholic

[BikeWriter]

61. Those greasy old Harleys are too loud!

[ZombieNixon]

63. Me:

"I'm going to stop chasing girls."
"I hate punk rock."
"I love Windows! Bill Gates is my God!"
"Please, BikeWriter, won't you have the last piece of apple pie/chocolate cake/other delicious dessert?"

[BikeWriter]

64. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[BikeWriter]

68. I'll pass on the gumbo.

[qnr]

69. Atari and Commodore computers were a waste of good sand! n/t

[NewJeffCT]

70. several things

1) my wife is too fat (she's actually trying to gain weight.)

2) Republicans are so intellectual and honest

3) Big Oil has our best interests at heart

4) Marriage should be between 1 man and 1 woman, and only if you're the same race.

5) Connecticut sucks.

[Crazy Guggenheim]

71. 'Well that's too much of a challenge for me'.

:popcorn:

[enigmatic]

74. "I hate people who talk about music!"

:)

[fishwax]

76. you know, i think pat robertson has a good point

:shrug:

[Paladin]

78. "Yay! My lifetime NRA membership certificate just arrived!"

n/t

[DainBramaged]

79. I love Mac's I hate cats, and I don't need any money

[Burma Jones]

80. You don't need an Education

There's a good side to the Chimp

I love Oklahoma

Sure, I'll have more of that delicious Soy Protein

Chuck Berry is 'way overrated

Bach sux......

[samplegirl]

81. Give me a man

just like Newt.

[I Have A Dream]

83. Rush Limbaugh is my hero. n/t

[SmileyBoy]

84. GO SIOUX!!!

That would be the ultimate.

[KitchenWitch]

87. Sean Hannity embodies my entire political philosophy

[erinlough]

88. I have absolutely no opinion on that......n/t

[BikeWriter]

90. I wouldn't go to a strip club. I'm too shy.

[NMMNG]

91. Why yes, I would like to hear about how Jesus died for my sins!

Hunting? Of course I'd like to go!

I'm tired of all of this peacenick, equality crap. I've decided to join the Republican party.

[SeattleGirl]

92. LOL, you Naughty Girl!

:evilgrin:

[NMMNG]

93. That's me

[SeattleGirl]

94. *giggle*!!!!

:spank: :spank: :spank: :evilgrin:

[sarge43]

95. Things I never say

No thanks, no more chocolate for me.

I don't need any more rose bushes.

I've never had a boss I didn't like.

Sure, I was just watching my favorite movie. Tell me all about your fabulous new product.

No, I have no opinion about the Bush administration.

[REP]

96. "I'm Pregnant and I'm So Happy!"

There's a tiny fraction of a chance I could become pregnant (I've beens sterilized twice) but there's no way in hell I'd be happy about it.

[fudge stripe cookays]

97. 1. Ben and Jerry's?

Nah. That stuff is REALLY unhealthy!

2. You know, all this sunshine gets REALLY old after awhile.

3. Genealogy is the most boring hobby on earth!

[azmouse]

98. Woohoo!!! I gained 10 pounds!

[eyesroll]

99. 1. DU THIS POLL!!!!

2. Let's demand that our Senators impeach the imperial pResident!
3. Better yet, let's deliver this online petition to the White House and impeach him ourselves!
4. Bridgit, you make perfect sense!

[leftofthedial]

101. I love you too

:cry:

[LeftyMom]

102. I'm finding celibacy really fulfilling. nt

[Tikki]

103. Punk rock music is an irrelevant......

....force in shaping rock music.




Tikki

[BikeWriter]

104. Loud rap music rocks!

[swag]

105. "I will keep you in my prayers."

[BikeWriter]

106. Copy-cat posts are so outre.

[Blue-Jay]

107. U'd never see me using "U" to replace "you".

I'm lazy, but I'm not THAT damned lazy.

[BikeWriter]

110. Smarty!

[Initech]

108. Baseball season? Ah, who cares!

[Midlodemocrat]

109. Working from home is boring.

I wish I had a long commute.

2. Help the less fortunate? Are you fucking kidding me?

3. Ann Coulter is so spot on in her assessments of liberals.

[ulysses]

112. vouchers just might be the ticket to improving education

provided we make sure that there are enough high-stakes tests to keep an eye on things.

[Lisa]

113. "I can't imagine why I'd want another medieval sword ..."

"... especially an Albion crusades-era model ... I mean, look at it ... it's already been used, so it's obviously begging to chop stuff in half, instead of being properly hung up on a wall and fussed over."


"More books? For crying out loud -- how many books do you think I need?"

"I really find George W. Bush's voice reassuring. I can hardly wait for his next speech."

"I'm just not in the mood for chocolate today."

"No, I won't do a guest lecture on global warming for your class. Why should I waste my beautiful mind on such a boring topic?"

[BikeWriter]

114. My Son has a wall in his bedroom covered in Samurai swords.

It looks very cool with their antique Japanese bed.

[grace0418]

115. I'll pick you up in my Hummer

or
I'd love to have a three-way with Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson!
or
Britney Spears is a musical genius!
or
George Bush is soooooooooooo sexy, intelligent, kind. A real hero!



*gack* now I have to go take a shower. *blech*

[LaraMN]

116. 1. I just wanna be surrounded my perennially serious individuals.

2. I need more republican friends.
3. I love when my pants are too short.
4. I'm a Maxwell House wife!

[Lisa]

118. oh, and don't forget ...

"Shut up you little brat, or I'll give you something to cry about!"

(somehow I doubt that you would ever be the kind of mom who'd "lose it" in front of strangers, and start walloping the kids)

[BikeWriter]

117. I hate broccoli.

Actually, it's one of my favorite veggies!

[scarlet_owl]

119. Ferrets are horrible, stinking creatures.

[Texasgal]

120. I love AGGIES!!!

I LOVE THEM!!!!

HA!

[Rabrrrrrr]

121. Hey, Tom Cruise, you worthless fuckbag, why don't you suck my cock?

And actually mean it as an invitation when I say "suck my cock".

[JanMichael]

122. I'm thinking that Capitalism is just the greatest!

Never.

[haydukelives]

123. Is 24 on tonight?

[Orsino]

124. "Call me MISTER Thant!" n/t

[Awsi Dooger]

125. Cheese is so delicious!

Plus it smells great and I'm so happy to live in an era in which it's being plastered on one seemingly unrelated dish after another.

Baseball season is just too darn short. Those are wonderful athletes with such a high level of daily intensity, as evidenced by the remarkable won/loss records.

We need more cat threads on DU, and cats in general. They are so playful and my sinuses and system in general absolutely thrives when I'm around them

Conspiracies are underrated. DUers are much too skeptical that they are legit. Normally the most tame and sensible explanation is the one you can reject immediately.

[driver8]

126. Mmmm...this lamb is delicious!

You will never, ever, ever hear me say that!

[BikeWriter]

127. Those Hondas are nice motorcycles.

[BikeWriter]

128. Eat venison? Oh no, not Bambi!

[LeftyMom]

129. My kid looks just like me. nt

[BikeWriter]

130. Two something a gallon for gas? That's cheap!

[BreweryYardRat]

131. I'll play...

1: I hate blackened fish.
2: Oh yeah, Katherine Harris would make a much better Senator than Bill Nelson.

[Strong Atheist]

132. Sure, come on inside and tell me all about

your religion.

[BikeWriter]

133. .

:spray:

[Strong Atheist]

140. .

:toast:

[Hardrada]

134. Those make your butt look fat.

[YankeyMCC]

135. Could you please pass the sushi?

[KamaAina]

136. "I'm leaving DU for a while. I'm sleeping out for Britney Spears tickets."

"Turn off that damn hockey game, why don'tcha?"

"Aw crap, not another Seinfeld rerun!"

and the Number One thing you won't hear me say....

"Denny Hastert's right! Why should we waste billions on that sinkhole New Orleans?"

[xmas74]

137. 1) My ex is the most wonderful person you will ever meet.

2) I love my red hair. It compliments the grey strands quite nicely.
3) I like things to be very vanilla.
4) Duct tape should only be used for repairs.
5) My new best friend is my fundamentalist coworker.
6) "Corset? Why would anyone want to wear one of those?"

[huskerlaw]

138. George Clooney is one UGLY mofo...and

his politics suck.

I hate the West Wing. It's no more intellectually stimulating than Who Wants to Marry a Millionare. And the cast? Talentless hacks.

Why would anyone want to live in California? The weather is so crappy. I much prefer Nebraska.

[cynatnite]

139. How much should I tithe? n/t

[BikeWriter]

146. I'll see you at Church!

[BikeWriter]

141. It's been thirty years since I smoked. I think I'll have just one.

[Patiod]

142. "No thank you, I'm not hungry. I'm never hungry."

[bicentennial_baby]

143. I have really high self-esteem

I'm not shy at all!

I love my fellow humans, each and every one.

Rum is god's gift to humanity, i love it so.


i'm sure there's a brazillion more... :)

[buddhamama]

145. *snarf*

you should be able to say the first, dear one. You're uniquely beautiful person.

[BikeWriter]

144. I love the Brazilian joke.

[Wetzelbill]

148. No, Scarlett Johanssen, I will not sleep with you

:)