I have a fat lip.

[southlandshari]

ARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!

I had a great morning today, went to a wonderfully inspiring Habitat for Humanity groundbreaking, spent some time visiting with local clergy of all races, talking about the example of Dr. King and how we could work together to continue to further his message in our community. I felt more alive and happy to be in my little hometown than I have since that Christmas parade.

There was a spring in my step as I walked towards the door of Burger King (no comments about fast food now, I beg of you - anyone with kids knows the temptation to grab a burger every now and then and let the kids play on those multicolored monstrosities called indoor playgrounds).

About three feet from the door, the sidewallk switched to this faux stone facade, uneven and slick. And, you guessed it, down I went. One foot slid out in front the other went sideways (I think) and I felt myself going all the way down. I had been putting my jacket on as I walked up from the car, and I frantically tried to free one hand or the other as the world began to move in very....slow....motion.

I did not succeed, and hit the pavement face first. I remember laying there with my eyes closed as the pain started to creep in, just thinking, "please, please, don't let any teeth fall out when I sit up."

I was aware of three pairs of jeans-clad legs within a ten foot radius of my swan dive as I scraped my face from the faux stone walkway. I was also aware of blood dripping on to aforementioned faux stone walkway. "Good," I thought. "Serves you right, you evil, ridiculous, unnecessary exterior decor waste of money!!"

As I sat all the way up and realized I wasn't going to win any beauty contests any time soon and would be lucky to get out of this without stitches in painful places, I heard a sharp intake of breath and a quiet male voice mutter, "Day-um. That don't look so good aiyt all."

Thanks a lot, Bubba. Tell me something I don't know.

x(

[Midlodemocrat]

1. Ouch.

:hug:

Be well. :hi:

[southlandshari]

Ouch indeed.

I think we shall each need our own box of wine if I come over any time soon. Mine to dull the pain, and yours to ease the shock of having to look at my mashed up face!

:hug:

[Midlodemocrat]

10. I had a cosmo last night.

And, it was delicious. My first. Went right to my head, though, like a bullet.

But, it was really, really good.

[RevCheesehead]

2. Bubba states the obvious

just so ya know he ain't totally oblivious.

Sorry, sugar. A bag of ice will help.
:hug:

[southlandshari]

13. Obviously

Maybe I was just pissed off and in pain (I was definitely a lot of both), but I expected these A-1 let-us-mow-your-lawn-and-charge-you-an-outrageously-high-fee assholes would have been a little quicker to action when a lady takes a spill at their feet.

Maybe they knew I'm not really much of a lady. I thought all the expletives were all in my mind, as all the blood made it difficult to talk, but maybe one or two slipped out.

:shrug:


:D (do they make a big fat lip smiley? Call Me Wesley would know...)

[In_The_Wind]

3. Welcome to the Oops Club.

I'm glad you didn't break anything.

[southlandshari]

15. LOL - I've been a member for a while...

this was just my first meeting with the club requirements in quite a while!

I had a fairly serious neurological thing a few years back that has left me a bit flat-footed. I used to fall ALL the time - quite spectacularly, too.

I thought I had put all that behind me.

:cry:



:hug:

[sniffa]

4. oh no!

:hug:

:loveya:

[southlandshari]

16. Awwwww.....thanks.

:hug:


I should be consoling you, sweets. At least I got laid this weekend.

:D



Oh. Damn. Wait a minute. That was LAST January.

;)



:loveya:

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. May I offer

my own special brand of treatment? :evilgrin:



Hope all your parts are okay. :hug:

[southlandshari]

21. But I thought that was

smooching!

:P


And believe you me, darlin', I am NOT very smoochable at the moment. One half of my top lip is puffed up like a botox job from hell, and the other is perfectly normal.

:scared:



But you are sweet to offer....might I get a raincheck on that?

:evilgrin:

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. Well, see...

I sorta figured on gently sucking and nibbling the other half until they matched. :evilgrin:



But we can do it later, if you'd prefer. :hi:

[Call Me Wesley]

6. Yikes!

You did the Schwarzznngrrr maneuver! :scared:



Your teeth OK? :hug:

[southlandshari]

27. ROTFLMAO!!!!

Is that real or photoshopped?

:rofl:


Sadly, that is very similar to what my lip looks like right now.

:cry:



But still :rofl: as well!!

[Call Me Wesley]

29. It's real ...

Looky here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/06/228.html (scroll down)

Still, good healing vibes coming your way. :loveya:

[hfojvt]

52. I was just about to try posting that link

this is why I read the threads, mostly, before posting.

[Gold Metal Flake]

7. Blood?

Did you cut a lip?

Require medical help?

Leavin' us hangin' here.

:hug:

[southlandshari]

28. Yes, blood.

Much more from my nose than my lip, but my nose seems fine, and never hurt at all. It gushed nicely for a while, though. While I could feel my lip swelling up. And my friend was laughing at me across the table (which I would have killed anyone but her for, but she's the kind that just makes you laugh along with her, so it actually cheered me up).

:hide:

[Scout1071]

8. If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times. Don't sass me.

Just kidding....I hope you feel better soon. Take some ibuprofen and keep it pack on ice. And feel free to pout as you see fit. You've earned it today.

[southlandshari]

30. No more sass. No more sass. No more sass. No more sass.

(still writing - will 1000 be enough?)

;)


LOL - pout? Half my face is in perma-pout right now!

:D

[Scout1071]

44. PS - Try a bag of frozen veggies. Rotate them in and out of freezer

if you have some. They will help.

[SeattleGirl]

9. shari, you poor thing!

Sorry you hurt yourself. Here are some hugs for you -- and I promise they won't hurt!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[southlandshari]

31. Now that's what I'm talking about!!

Nothing like a little :loveya: from a naughty girl to make everything better!


:hug:


(it doesn't hurt if I turn my head just so!)

[SeattleGirl]

33. I'll save the spankin's for when you feel better!

:evilgrin: :loveya:

[eyepaddle]

11. Owweeee

That sounds like a dangerously close call. I don't kow how hard you actually have to hit the pavement to knock a tooth out though, I once tumbled and hit my face hard enough to knock my teeth a little crooked--but they are still there.

Hope you feel better soon. :hug:

:loveya:

[southlandshari]

32. I knew you would have stories of worse mishaps!

You big ol' rugged adventurer, you!

Thanks for the :hug:, darlin', and for the record, I like your teeth just the way they are!


:loveya:

[eyepaddle]

37. It was highly adventurous

There was no railing for the stairs, and the light was burned out. I tripped.

Owwwww. ON the plus side, While I am clumsy, I do heal well--and can withstand a frightenig beating!

Perhaps some other time I'll tell ya 'bout the time I thought I broke my right "cheekbone!"

[BikeWriter]

12. Oh my gosh, Sweety!

I hope you feel better soon! :hug:

[southlandshari]

35. Thanks, darlin'!

I know in the grand scheme of things, this is a pretty minor event, but when I started the thread, it seemed extremely traumatic and newsworthy!

:blush:


And :hug: back atcha - you are such a wonderful friend and part of this community!! I am so glad you are here.

[SOteric]

14. Dudette, -

just go to town with the dark red lipstick and tell people you had them done to look like Angelina Jolie. :7

Sorry you're hurting, :pals: luckily, - it's temporary.

[southlandshari]

36. Thanks, darlin'!

:hug:

And that definitely solves half the problem - the discoloration.

My problem is that half my lip looks like Jolie's (but feels imminently UNkissable at the moment) and the other half is plain old southlandshari lip.

You'd think I would have at least had the sense to twist in midair and fall in centered alignment so that my wounds were symmetrical if nothing else.

:hide:



:hi:

[GOPisEvil]

17. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!!! Poor Shari.

:hug:

Faux stone? Why I oughtta...:grr:

[southlandshari]

39. Sigh.

And you know what the worst part of it all is, don't you?

:cry:

[GOPisEvil]

81. Yeah...yeah, I know.

:cry:

It'll be better soon though. :hug:

[southlandshari]

89. Well........

At least we might FINALLY get around to actually WATCHING all those movies, right?

:P

[GOPisEvil]

92. Yeah, but...

...they're ROMANTIC movies. :P

[southlandshari]

95. That's ok

Just tuck me in if I fall asleep while watching those. If we were watching action movies, however, my lip might


Oops.

:hide:

[GOPisEvil]

96. Action or....

"action"...;)

:hide:

[southlandshari]

101. Er...

All of a sudden my lip hurts way too much to answer that.


:blush:

[GOPisEvil]

102. .

:7:spank::blush:

[DS1]

18. Well, good thing you didn't watch too many romantic movies

because then you'd still be laying there in a pool of blood waiting for Hugh Grant to pull up in his Audi and o o o o offer to to to possibily take you to to to to the hospital :D

[southlandshari]

40. ROFL!

See. Damn. I KNEW there was a reason I couldn't get into all that mush. My whole life has been leading up to this moment of truth, and the only reason I emerged with my dignity and sense of humor is that I have never watched anything with Hugh Grant in it.

Well, except for that secret tape of him and the pro on Sunset Strip way back when. But that was NEWS. Hard news, I tell you!























:hide:

[texas1928]

19. Sorry baby doll.

Sounds like it hurt.

:hug:

[southlandshari]

41. It did. A lot.

Even worse than the time I got my tongue stuck on your pole.

:evilgrin:


(look! i can still evil grin! there is hope!!)


:hug:

[texas1928]

120. Getting it stuck there would never, ever, hurt.

:evilgrin:

[Taverner]

20. Awwww Shari!

Big hug? (try not to bleed on my shirt)

If it's any consolation my toddler gave me a black eye a few weeks ago. He thought it was funny.

[southlandshari]

42. Yes to big hug.

No promise as to whether or not I will bleed on your shirt.

:P


Actually, my face is not pretty, but not so painful any more.

My ankle is so swollen I can hardly walk, though.

And fuck it all - I still had to pay for my chicken sandwich!

:banghead:


(ouch, don't think the banging head smiley was such a good idea yet)



























:loveya: ya, California.

[u4ic]

22. I hope you'll be ok!

:hug:

Those idiots sound like the types who thought god would save you. :eyes:

After I was bucked off a horse, and hit the ground nose first (crunch!), the emergency room doctor said to me "you remember that movie Beauty and the Beast? Guess who you look like?" :eyes:

[southlandshari]

45. Holy crap! What a jerk

that ER doctor was!

:eyes:


I only told the first comment from that trio. They proceeded to just kind of stare at me like a lab specimen and they kept saying, "her nose is bleeding" over and and over.

Twilight Zoney, especially in my neck of the woods, where most folks really do jump to help someone in trouble.

To be fair, one guy did hand me the napkin in his hand. I think so he wouldn't have to look at the blood anymore.

:shrug:


:D

[flvegan]

24. I'm sorry you got hurt, shari.

I'm also a little disappointed in my gender sharing jeans clad individual. No, "are you okay? let me help you up/let me run and get a couple towels and ice for your mouth."

[southlandshari]

46. Thanks, darlin'!

I'll live - starting this mildly attention seeking thread was good therapy, for starters!

:D


One guy finally showed a bit of gumption and asked, "do ya want me to git the manager?" To which I nodded, though near tears, thinking "even if he is a total idiot, nothing could be worse than continuing to sit here under your collective inbred gaze!"

;)

[flvegan]

47. *shakes head*

What's wrong with people today?

Glad to see you're getting the attention you need from your Lounge flock.

[southlandshari]

48. I have no flock.

Only friends.

Glad you are one of them.

:)

[flvegan]

51. I don't give a flock what you say

[southlandshari]

55. Yes you do.

Or you wouldn't be here.

:P

Now get your sheepy ass in line before I strike you with my staff.

(oh hell - that isn't a good metaphor in this case, is it?)



:hide:

[flvegan]

65. Is that how the spankings are doled out now?

I also have to selfishly, say that I'm glad you didn't rearrange that pretty face of yours with that fall. Not that it'd matter, you'd still be lovely, regardless. I'm still glad for it, though.

[southlandshari]

68. Aww, man. Way to ruin a perfectly good flamewar in the making!

:eyes:





But more than that.... :loveya:

[flvegan]

71. I'm a lover, not a fighter, my dear.

But then, you knew...that.

[southlandshari]

73. ......

I have no idea what you are talking about.

:shrug:























Really. I don't. None whatsoever. I swear.

:hide:

[flvegan]

76. ,

That's your story, I trust. Can I also assume you're sticking to it?

[Left Is Write]

25. YIKES!

Look on the bright side: you won't need collagen injections. ;)

[southlandshari]

49. LOL - correction...

I'll only need them for one side, anyway!

:D


:hug:

[merh]

26. Awww, so sorry shari,

I have a scar over my top lip from doing sort of the same thing, my face hit the pavement as I tripped over the big ole yellow parking curb.

Thank god for ice and tylenol and make up.

Here is to quick healing & little pain. :pals:

Please take care! :hug: :loveya:


Use a frozen bag of veggies on that lip, they work wonders, and after the thaw, you have something for dinner! :silly:

:hug:

[southlandshari]

50. Thanks!!!

:hug:


Now all I have to do is survive a record-breaking hurricane and its horrible aftermath, and we'll be even!

:loveya:

[merh]

54. Nooooooo

Do not do the hurricane thing, I don't evah want anyone else to go through this. x(

This ain't no competition, sweetie. I know when I have met my match!

:hug: :loveya:

[merh]

114. Did the frozen okra help the ankle.

Only a redneck lady would use a bag of frozen okra to ice her ankle! :silly:

Be sure & keep it elevated when you can. :hug:

[southlandshari]

115. You PROMISED not to tell!

:spank:


:rofl:


:hug:


More.

[merh]

116. Oh, is that what the promise was?

:freak: I couldn't remember.

Did we "cross our hearts & hope to die, stickle a needle in our eye" promise? :shrug:

If not, then there was no promise. I don't remember no okray promise. :silly:

:loveya: > more

:pals:

[southlandshari]

117. Forget okra.

Keep the Moon Pie promise you made long ago and all will be right with the world!

;)

[merh]

118. I don't know nothing about no moon pies.

;-)

:hug:

[bleedingheart]

34. ouch...! I hope you feel better real soon!

[southlandshari]

53. Thank you -- and congrats!!!

A Steelers fan, yes?

I love an underdog - good luck to your team!!!


:D

[Callalily]

38. Awwww . . . not good Southlandshari

Here's a little and some to make you feel better.

[southlandshari]

56. Awwwww....there's even better Simply Fugue!!!

:loveya:

How goes it, darlin'? Feel naughty enough yet?

:evilgrin:


Great to see you here!

:hug:

[Callalily]

111. Right now I'm just

too tired to be naughty. Just bein' a

[Dangerously Amused]

43. Hey Shari! Look!

I found one of those clowns who "helped" you at the scene...






Sorry. I hope it made you giggle, but not so much as to cause any pain. I split my lip wide open in a bike accident when I was a kid. No fun. Here's hoping you heal quickly. And remember, ice cream feel reeeeally good on a sore, swollen lip...

[southlandshari]

57. LOL - you DID make me giggle!

:rofl:

But it didn't hurt too badly. Now if you plot to make me hop about on my swollen ankle, we may have to have words, Ms. Amused.

;)


For now, I'm just happy you are here, and appreciate your sweet (and funny) post here!

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

58. I don't mean to sound flip, but PLEASE post some pictures!!!

I'm sorry about your mishap, dear Shari. Thank god your teeth are OK. WOW!

:* :loveya: :hug: :pals: :yourock:

[southlandshari]

62. Could you be more specific, please?

Pictures of my nasty swollen lip? The scrape on my nose? My blue ankle? The scraped knee? My terribly damaged pride?

Wait, what's that I hear?

:nopity:




Well, hell, I thought it was best if I went ahead and got that smiley out in the open before someone else did!

:P

[Sugar Smack]

66. Give us the swollen lip first, please,

and then the rest,

and then you will be given hundreds of offers for comfort, darlin'. :P

[southlandshari]

70. If it is still noteworthy in its swelling tomorrow

I will take a pic with the digital camera at work and post it. I swear.

(running to get another ice pack in desperation!)

;)

[Fridays Child]

59. Ahem. Excuse me!

That's Dr. Bubba to you, ma'am! :P

[southlandshari]

63. LOL! I do have to admit...

His diy-ag-noh-ses was right on target in his first muttered reaction to my bloody face!

;)

[Missy Vixen]

60. Southlandshari, sweetie!

You need a really big Cosmo and a hug. :hug: I'm so sorry that this happened to you!

Bubba needs a slap upside the head.

I hope that you're resting comfortably at home now. I'm also sorry I'm not closer (then again, I'm sure the giggling would make whatever hurts hurt WORSE...)

:hug: :loveya:
Julie

p.s. Bailey's Shake? It'll make the swelling go down! :evilgrin:

[southlandshari]

64. Cosmo, Bailey's Shake, whatever you've got

is fine with me! I have no idea what goes in either one, but I'm guessing ingredients that will all make my lip hurt less and appear much funnier to me with repeated applications!

:hug:

[Missy Vixen]

78. Okay, here's the Bailey's Shake recipe

2 scoops (or more) ice cream
2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
milk to blend
ice cubes
Blend until milkshake consistency.

You can adjust the Bailey's to taste ;-). :woohoo: :toast:

I hope you'll be feeling better soon! :loveya:
Julie

[fudge stripe cookays]

80. Holy FUCK!

I just ate the last of 'nilla ice cream last night and we have a full bottle of Bailey's!!!! OH THE PAIN!!!!

I'm trying this as soon as possible when I refill the Haagen Dazs! :9

[Missy Vixen]

82. We have a full bottle of Bailey's, too

I'll be making myself a big ol' Bailey's shake to calm my nerves during next weekend's Seahawks game :scared:.

Julie
busily laying in a good supply of Ben and Jerry's World's Greatest Vanilla ice cream as well...

[matcom]

61. DAMN!!

sorry 'bout that! x(

fall again and hit your other lip and then you will be uniformed :D

{{{HUG}}}

[southlandshari]

67. You want me to fall AGAIN?

That means your sympathy is as faux as that stupid fiberglass stone facade that busted my face!


:cry:

[matcom]

69. i just want you to look

'balanced' :hide:

[southlandshari]

72. .....

:spray:


Damn you.

























No. No nice smiley here for you, Sparky.

Not....gonna.....do.....it!























.

[LeftyMom]

74. Poor thing!

Keep a cool washcloth on it to keep the swelling down! :hug:

[southlandshari]

75. Thank you!

I know this thread is starting to get big enough to have some :eyes: around here, but you guys are awesome!

:hug:

[fudge stripe cookays]

77. Ouch!

Sorry about that shari.

God I freaking hate aggregate. It's the most incredibly slippery, unnecessary paving substance EVER!!!!

Feel better.
fsc

[southlandshari]

79. Aggregate!!!

My nemesis now haveth a name!!!

::mad:



Thanks for that, FSC!!

:hug:

[gardenista]

83. Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow!!!!!

I'm so glad you didn't lose any teeth. Ouch!

Hope you're feeling better quickly!

[southlandshari]

86. You said it!

It doesn't hurt so bad now, so I feel kind of silly for posting about it now - but at the time...owwwie!!!

:hide:


Long time no see! Hope you are well!

:hi:

[gardenista]

97. Doin fine

As you may recall, I can testify to the fact that one little slip can change your life for a long time, or even forever.

I broke my foot in a similar fall to yours, and now, after almost 6 months, I can go for a walk, but still having pain.

I'm so glad you didn't get hurt for the long term.

Hope you're enjoying "civilian" status! : )

[NMDemDist2]

84. ouch! so sorry and glad all your teeth survived

and that damned "Southern Gentleman" didn't even offer to help you up?

I tell ya Chivalry has really slid in the South!

[southlandshari]

88. There she goes again! Alert! Alert!

South-bashing once again, eh, AzDem?

:rofl:


How goes it, darlin'?

Been thinking of you and your family this week.

:hug:

[NMDemDist2]

104. thanks dear Sharri

we'll be OK I know

but it might be a bumpy ride the next couple months :banghead:

[barb162]

85. Oh you poor thing. I hope you heal fast

[southlandshari]

90. Thanks!

I guess I'm making a big deal out of this - I asked the guys who work at the gas station down the street how bad it was, and they both said they wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't pointed it out.

Then, of course, I caught them laughing their butts off as soon as I turned my back.

x(


Thanks for the kind words!

:D

[Pithlet]

87. Ouch!

:hug:

[southlandshari]

91. Awwww....

Thanks for not being embarrassed to hug me - and this big ol nasty face - in public!

:hug:

[proud2BlibKansan]

93. Are you gonna sue?

[southlandshari]

98. No.

I don't know what I could sue for - it's not like I'm not going to work tomorrow (grrrr) or have any real lingering pain and suffering.

;)


Yeah, I know. People sue for less every day these days. And Alabama is notorious for big awards in cases like this.

And I will say, the manager wasn't nearly sorry enough for what happened on their stupid aggregate faux stone walkway. I even paid for my own chicken sandwhich!!!

:P

[crispini]

94. Awwwwwww.

Feel better soon! :hug:

[southlandshari]

99. I already do!

Feel better, that is.

People are so doggone nice around here...

Great to have friend like you, darlin'!!

:hug:

[nickgutierrez]

100. Ouch.

:hug:

[southlandshari]

105. You! I owe you a brazillion apologies!!!

I will never, ever again throw a brick at your head. Even if just in smiley world.

Them suckers, even the fake ones, HURT!!!

:hug:

[nickgutierrez]

119. I tried to tell you that.

My memory of the week before the first one is still fuzzy.

Then again, that's not that much different from the usual, is it?

[davsand]

103. Ow! That does not sound like any fun at all.

I am SOooo sorry! I do hope you heal up quick (both the ankle AND the lip.)

Just to share a story with you to hopefully make you feel better, here's one on me:

A few years ago I was drinking a big Diet coke in the car. Darned if I didn't tip that bad boy over and get my entire butt wet along with the car seat. I was in the parking lot of the grocery store when it happened because I was almost out of diapers for my daughter. I HAD to get those diapers.

Hubby (big toad that he can be) is sitting in the other seat laughing at me for getting my butt wet as I'm climbing out of the car to go in the store. I back up a step while I'm giving my husband "what-for" for laughing at me and I trip over a curb and fall into a bunch of bushes and mud--landing on my ass.

I'm wearing white shorts.

I stand up and look at the bleeding scratches then try and brush the mud off the brown stain on my ass. Hubby by this point is about ready to hemorrhage over in the car because he's laughing so hard.

I pull my shirt tail down over as much of my butt as I can and I start off stomping into the grocery store. I am gonna get those damn diapers if I die doing it.

Just as I climb out of the bushes and mud, and get about ten feet across the parking lot, I look up and some homeless guy with his foot in a cast is sitting on the curb in front of the store looking at me and laughing like a hyena.

I got the diapers. I also had the check out lady tell me it was too late for diapers judging by my backside...



There--did that make you feel any better? Hugs!

Laura

[southlandshari]

106. I wish I could nominate this POST for the Greatest Page!!

:rofl:


:D



Thanks SO much for posting this! It was great!!!

(I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you, I promise!!!)


;)

[EstimatedProphet]

107. Sorry Shari

Here's hoping that there's no scarring and the swelling goes down in a hurry.

[southlandshari]

109. Thanks, EP!

I actually do think I'm likely to have two small scars above my fat ol' lip, but I'm definitely already far enough removed from supermodel material that I think they'll add character rather than detract from my non-uber-beauty!

:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

108. Ouch!

Hope you got some ice on there, and that you feel better now! :hug:

PS...Sorry about the copycat...I couldn't resist. :evilgrin:

[southlandshari]

110. LOL - I wondered when the copy cats would start!

The title was just too easy to alter in fun and silly ways!

The ice is gone, but a beer might help at this point!

:toast:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

121. Here ya go:

[Mutley]

112. Aww! Honey, that sucks!

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

I fell a few weeks before Christmas. I was trying to walk around some bushes, and I thought I was stepping on the ground above the patch of ice, but it turns out the ground was half frozen mud and just as slippery. I fell on my bum and stained the hell out of my favorite pants. I washed those pants three times and the mud stain was still there, so, with great regret, I threw them away. I couldn't sit right for a few days.

[southlandshari]

113. Damn, girl!

Swollen lips and twisted ankles heal, but throwing away favorite pants scars forever.

x(


:hug:

[Mutley]

122. Are you feeling any better today?

:hug: