Road Trip: Day 5

[XemaSab]

Yesterday WindRavenX learned that her Mormon boyfriend left Utah and went to Amsterdam to be a missionary. Upon hearing that, we decided to leave Utah and go to Colorado to play an inside tip on the lottery in order to raise money for a cheap ticket to Amsterdam. Officer DainBramaged joined in common cause with the group with the revelation that he used to be a male stripper. Estimated Prophet and hfojvt phoned in on the cell asking to be picked up when we got to Ohio and Kansas, respectively. We ended the day as always: drunk and stoned.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4596033

John Denver was right. Colorado is the high country. We woke up in the predawn hours this morning with enough THC flowing through our veins to bake Berkeley. Somewhere around Grand Junction we pulled over to watch the sunrise. As we were watching this great tangerine globe soar over the mountains, KitchenWitch had an epiphany.

"When we get to Denver, we should stage a civil insurrection!"

She was, in that moment, glowing with elation, until we told her that we'd lost the paint and the stakes when the van burned up.

Then Buffy said "I've got an even better idea!"

[JVS]

1. Are we there yet?

[KitchenWitch]

2. While Officer DainBramaged slept

Buffy used a sharpie to paint a silly moustache on his face, while KitchenWitch laughed hysterically.

Once they reached Denver, they decided to sell about a pound of the righteous bud to raise funds for WindRavenX's ticket to Amsterdam.

KitchenWitch made WindRavenX promise to bring back enough absinthe for the entire group!

[XemaSab]

3. JVS, who was undergoing painful ether withdrawal,

particularly liked this suggestion of the absinthe. XemaSab went so far as to suggest that if JVS was bored with the trip, he was welcome to join WindRavenX in the trip to Amsterdam.

So the group rolled into Denver and began to look for a connection.

[JVS]

4. "I know German which is almost the same as Dutch, I can be your guide"

said JVS, who contemplated the narcotic joys that awaited. Unfortunately he realized that his passport was in his desk at home and that he'd have to stay on the trip at least until Illinois.

[NMMNG]

5. The gang went to a greasy spoon for lunch,

While Buffy scouted the downtown scene for a buyer of the bud they were hoping to sell. After barely 40 minutes she returned with a smile on her face. "Easy deal," she said to the group.

"That fast?!" KitchenWitch exclaimed, as the others murmered in astonishment.

"You just need to know where to go," Buffy replied.

"And where was that?" KW and Xema asked simultaneously.

"First Evangelical Church of Denver," Buffy said with a snort.

Oeditpus Rex spit his water all over the table :spray: and began laughing hysterically. Everyone joined in, leaving the other patrons to wonder what could be so funny.

[EstimatedProphet]

6. EstimatedProphet called the diner.

"Is Kitchenwitch there?" he asked.

"Who?" asked the waitress that answered the phone at the cash register.

"Kitchenwitch. She's a customer." he waited while the waitress yelled "Is there a KitchenWitch here?"

After a few moments KitchenWitch picked up the phone. "Yes?"

"This is EP."

"Hi," she said. "Thanks for the tip."

"No problem. Got another one. The guy who bought your smoke is very good friends with the DEA. Watch your back."

"WHAT?!" she exclaimed.

"He's not an agent, so don't worry. He's got a friend in the DEA, and - hang on, there's someone trying to pay. He's trying to squeeze through behind you."

KitchenWitch stepped forward for the person trying to walk behind her. "Wait, so the guy who bought is OK?"

"He's buddies with a DEA agent. They will be looking to make a buy from you again, so that they have evidence and can make an arrest. The Evangelical Church is a DEA front."

"Great," she said. "What the hell do we do now?"

"Blow town ASAP, before they run across you again. They know what Buffy looks like, but that's all. They don't have the Hummer license plates, so they won't be able to track you."

"OK," Kitchenwitch sounded worried.

"Relax," EP said. "I'm going to give them an anonymous phone tip to look for a 1968 powder blue LTD. That should confuse them. There's still half a million of them on the road in Denver."

"Thanks" she said.

"No problem," he said. "By the way, don't spill your coffee." KitchenWitch hung up the phone and returned to her seat. When she sat down the spiiled some of her coffee.