My Male Friends, If this is Repetitious, pls Hear Me Anyways

[benny05]

This is about friendship in general.

A male friend is going through a tough time in breaking up with his girlfriend. He has been through a divorce 10 yrs previous to now, and I think this is why he and the girlfriend who lived together were what they were; in other words, no legal commitment, but in his mind, it was. She wants to move on; he is unhappy, but knows the relationship needs some kind of "move on" or closure at some point soon. It's just not to his advantage, or so he says.

I admire this person, and generally, I understand him. In this case, he is taking a "scorched earth" or "cor-latteral damage) to his view point with the breakup. In both cases, I think he is "batten down the hatches", but I also think he is so hurt he cannot deal with anyone who is sympathetic or not. I have tried to be, but I think he is upset because I can maintain a friendship with a former spouse, especially if the divorce situation was so amicable because we waited a long time before making our decision and didn't see b/w for a number of years?

I wondering if it was because my former spouse's parents had died in the past two years, the last one in the last two weeks, and my spouse was willing to see me do give support to the former spouse (who had visited us over the New Year weekend and they got along well), and this friend is a bit envious, or not? My spouse cannot determine the emotions or thoughts either.

There are friends, but mainly family that think my spouse and I are weird. We may be, but I would argue that life is about the journey, and we need to continue to support people we liked, loved, and have had friendships with. Your thoughts? Pls, I would appreciate many thoughts and q's. Benny