Road Trip: Day 6

[XemaSab]

Colorado. In lieu of playing the lottery to raise funds for WindRavenX to go to Amsterdam, Buffy decided to sell a pound of the rapidly diminishing marijuana. Buffy made the sell at the First Evangelical Church of Denver, but shortly afterwards she learned from a call from Estimated Prophet that the buyer was in fact a DEA agent. We decided to blow town shortly after.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4600966

We left Denver at speed. The plains in eastern Colorado are flat and open, and we were able to make good time.

The DEA was still on our trail, and they play for keeps. Not only did we have 33 pounds of weed to worry about, but we had transported a kidnapped state trooper (DainBramaged) over state lines. We were facing hard time. Omphaloskepsis was behind the wheel, Buffy was cowering in the back under some dirty sleeping bags, JVS was waving the BB gun around defensively, Faux pas was manning the wet bar, and everyone else was staring glassy-eyed into ample gin and tonics. Faux pas could mix drinks with the best of them.... It's a good skill to have on a trip like this. Sometime in the next 30 hours we were scheduled to rendezvous with hfojvt in Kansas.

Suddenly, a shot sounded through the Hummer, and Oeditpus Rex fell to the floor dead!

[billyskank]

1. Not Rex!

:o

[Whoa_Nelly]

2. Who's gonna play you in the movie?

And is Floogeldy still doing those stuntman stand ins?

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. 'God,' Buffy half-screamed, poking out her horror-streaked face

"He was just... just... sitting there!"

Omphaloskepsis, in a near-panic, kept glancing over his shoulder toward the bloody mess amidships.

"Should I stop? Should I stop? WHAT?? SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"

"NO!" Xema yelled. "Keep going! We've got to make Kansas by 6!"

But it was obvious that he was in no condition to drive.

[XemaSab]

4. Xema ran towards the front of the Hummer

and pushed Omphaloskepsis roughly aside.

"I'll take it from here!" she said with a steely glint in her eye.

KitchenWitch, Buffy, and WindRavenX were weeping over Oeditpus' stiffening corpse.

JVS screamed "He was like a brother to me!"

Even Officer DainBramaged seemed saddened.

"There's no time for tears here people!" said Faux pas. "We've still got the law on our tail!"

[Oeditpus Rex]

5. 'Yeah, and now we've got a fucking dead body on top of

everything else," Omphaloskepsis yelled, still shaking. "And this goddamned limo-tank doesn't exactly blend in!"

"He's right," Faux pas said. "We've gotta ditch this thing for something that's not so easy to spot."

"Wait," WindRavenX said. "But who shot him? It sure wasn't US!"

"The law won't care," DainBramaged said, almost apologetically. "Dead body's a dead body. It's like being in possession of stolen merchandise. Even if you're innocent, you're guilty."

No one spoke for several seconds. Everyone was thinking. How did we get into this? What are we gonna do? All we wanted to do was give W a piece of our minds!

Xema broke the eerie silence.

"Okay — we gotta get new wheels."

[KitchenWitch]

6. "And I never got to have that dance with Rexxie!"

cried KitchenWitch.

The entire group found an abandoned schoolbus in Last Chance, Colorado. KitchenWitch fired it up, and found that it ran like a top. So they ditched the stretch Hummer and all climbed on board the bus.

They headed east into Nebraska, with the revolution songs from the 1960s blaring from the boombox in the back of the bus. By this time, JVS had completely recovered from his ether intoxication.

"We still have to bury Oeditpus Rex," cried Omphaloskepsis.

DainBramaged replied, "We can stop in the next town to buy ice, to keep his body from rapidly decomposing."

"Good plan!" exclaimed Buffy.

[XemaSab]

9. The next town they rolled into looked like the set from an old

Ronald Reagan film. They went into the store labeled "General Store," and asked the wizened clerk for 80 pounds of ice.

"We shipped all our ice down south last summer, and that's the last we've seen of real ice in this town," the clerk said.

Robeson then asked if there was any dry ice around. The clerk squinted for a minute, and said "Well, the dry ice factory closed down 10 years ago, buy I bet we could find you kids some. Here's what you'll do: drive about 3 miles south on Main Street until you get to a green corrugated shed. There's a gate next to the shed. Pull up to the gate and honk twice."

A half an hour later we were pulled up to the gate. Two honks on the bus' horn produced a man even more wizened than the clerk. He opened a door in the shed and waved us inside.

Before us stretched a long, long flight of stairs.

"Hidden missile silo," said the man.

[NMMNG]

7. Self-delete

To keep KitchenWitch happy.

[KitchenWitch]

8. But we found an abandoned school bus...

x(

[XemaSab]

10. And we were going to put Rexie on dry ice...

x(

[NMMNG]

11. There, I deleted it. Are you happy now?

:shrug:

[KitchenWitch]

12. Sorry!

:cry:

[XemaSab]

13. It was a brilliant move

But it wasn't canon.

Sorry!

[NMMNG]

14. I didn't realize we had a "canon"

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

15. Yeah. It was mounted on the roof of the Hummer.

:D