If you hurt someone's feelings or offend them, what do you do?

[merh]

Even if you didn't mean to hurt them, if they took your words/actions out of context and later tell you that your words were offensive and ask that you leave them alone, do you?

[skygazer]

1. Depends on a lot of things

Who they are, what the circumstances were, etc. My basic response to that scenario would be to apologize, tell them I had no intention of hurting them and then leave them alone as they requested, hoping that time might put things into a better perspective.

But that could be modified depending - if it was someone who meant more to me than just a casual friend, like a family member or loved one - I might make more of an effort to convey what my words or actions actually meant.

[crispini]

2. Apologize.

Immediately, deeply, and heartfeltly. If that's a word. I have long ago learned that it's not what you MEANT that counts, it's what they HEARD.

But leave them alone? I guess that depends on the relationship. If it was a casual one, I'd heed their wishes. If a more longtime relationship, I would make some effort to extend more of an olive branch and salvage the friendship.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear merh.......

I voted other.....I would certainly apologize, and try to explain what had happened......

And THEN I would leave the person alone to think it over......

I am going to PM you in just a moment, my dear....

[datasuspect]

4. if i'm wrong, i'll own up to it

but if i offend someone by calling jesus "god jr." or something like that, tough shit. just an example.

naturally there are people who are way too easily offended.

in that case, i refer to my favorite maxim: "fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

different people, different things.

[Shine]

5. I would listen to their hurt feelings, apologize and then respectfully

honor their request for space, making clear that I am available to them whenever they're ready.

Conflict is a natural part of relationship. I have found that a greater connection is possible when people can be honest enough with each other to speak to their pain and hurt feelings and then come through the other side with increased mutual respect for each other.

My two cents...
:hi:

[MissMillie]

8. makes sense to me

:thumbsup:

[eyesroll]

6. Sorry to say, I'd probably get all passive-aggressive and offer the

"I'm sorry you're so offended" apology (rather than a true "I'm sorry I offended you" apology) and stammer out some lame excuse ("sorry, things haven't been going well lately") and otherwise try to deflect blame from the real culprit.

But I suppose there are worse ways I could handle it. I could drag it out in public and make it a much bigger deal than it should be and alienate a lot of people in the process.

[nini]

7. It depends on the relationship I have with that person

If it's a casual acquaintance.. I'd apologize and leave them alone completely - I don't need people in my life that I would have to walk on eggshells with.

If it's a real friend, I'd apologize and work things out.


BUT, if I truly believe what I said was not offensive, I'd also call them on being overly sensitive too.

[BigMcLargehuge]

9. Locked

"Nobody trusts anybody now, and we're all very tired."



BigMcLargehuge
DU Moderator