Phrases you will NEVER see on those chalk-flavored candy hearts:

[Deja Q]

Feel free to add your own! :)

* "F*** Me"
* "Over my Dead Body"
* "Not Today"
* "For $100"
* "Do it Safely"
* "Nice Girl"
* "Threesomes Are 4U"
* "Brought To You by Herpes"
* "Come Together... Right now... Over Me."
* "Not Everybody Does it, but Everybody Should"
* "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America..."

[bertha katzenengel]

1. F.O.A.D.

("fuck off and die")

[LynneSin]

2. Thanks for the Clap

:D

[flvegan]

3. After you eat this, eat me.

[ThatsMyBarack]

4. How about these?

"I am gay"

"Need a girlfriend?"

"Got a headache!"

"I'm not gay, but I'll learn!"

:rofl:

[Hugin]

5. "I have a headache."

[imperialismispasse]

6. Actually thats not true

http://www.newenglandyankee.com/Funny_Valentine.html

"X-rated Valentines Day Candy Hearts"

[kick-ass-bob]

7. I did your sister.

[khashka]

8. You missed the boat, HT

Some that are available:

Quit stalking me!
I want a divorce.
You are too ugly for me to fuck.
I'm not gay. Can you teach me?

It's been done and done well :)

Khash.

[MrScorpio]

9. Now get me a towel, Bitch

[edbermac]

10. You don't really blow on it; that's just a figure of speech...

[LaraMN]

11. "This tastes like chalky shit, but for 33 cents a box, I'll buy you some

anyway, and pat myself on the back for remembering you with such a heartfelt romantic gesture. The best is yet to come. Next year I will forget you entirely and then try to pass off Valentine's day postage stamps as 'romantic tattooes'."

[ContraBass Black]

12. I'm pretty sure most of those are on candy hearts.

You just have to know where to look.

[JVS]

13. Stick it in!

[undeterred]

14. Is it in?

[redqueen]

15. Not quite, but close!

[bridgit]

16. "on your back, bi-atch"

:rofl:

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

17. "Let's go sexing!"

(If you get the reference, I'll love you forever!)

[mongo]

22. You know I know

but I'll stay quiet so someone else can post.

(and I love you -- for turning me onto it).

But after all these porn threads today, I'm going to have to listen to Avenue Q on the way home tonight.

[Catchawave]

18. "Happy Viagra Day"

[Oeditpus Rex]

19. 'I am no longer infected'

[sarge43]

20. Wake me up when you're done.

[mongo]

21. Hey baby, let's breed!

[Jara sang]

23. "I have explosive diarrhea"