My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ...

[texas1928]

couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job and seamed more exciting than it was
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn't cut it so we parted.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just wasn't at home on the range
Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.
Mining was interesting, but then they gave me the shaft.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but my net income was reel low
Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a health club, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but there were too many undercurrents.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a history teacher until I realized there was no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind and the job had no perks.
So I retired and I found I am a perfect fit for the job!

[GOPisEvil]

1. I tried working at a supermarket, but I got sacked.

:P

[StaggerLee]

2. I wanted to be a baker

but I couldn't raise the dough.

[texas1928]

13. I was working in a blanket factory...

but it folded.

[NoPasaran]

3. I was going to be a watchmaker

But I never found the time.

[NoPasaran]

4. Then I answered an ad for a professional craps player

But no dice

[kmla]

6. And then, I bought "a honey dipper" that cleaned septic tanks.

Crappy job. I didn't really give a shit whether I got fired or not.

[kmla]

5. Then I worked in an optometrist's office.

I fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

[texas1928]

8. One year they wanted to make me poster boy...

For Birth Control

[Shine]

7. Oh please, don't PUNish us....

uPUN my word.....

;)

[texas1928]

10. A good pun is its own reword.

[Shine]

14. Good one!

:thumbsup:

thanks, I'll add that line to my repetoire.... ;)

[Xipe Totec]

16. A good pun will clear a room n/t

[texas1928]

20. I thought that was a fart.

:shrug:

[JVS]

9. Did I start all this by telling you that bad pirate joke?

[texas1928]

11. Yep it is all your fault.

and I am telling.


:P

[NoPasaran]

12. Worked on a porn movie once

But I couldn't keep it up

[Xipe Totec]

15. Orange you the Lucky one

:hide:

[texas1928]

18. BOOOOOO

:spank:

[trof]

17. I was a pilot, but I had to bail.

[DanCa]

19. I am going to the country going to eat me alot of peaches.

I am going to the country going to eat me alot of peaches
Peaches come in a can
They were put there by a man
Who worked in a factory all day with his hands.
I am going to the country going to eat me alot of peaches....

[texas1928]

24. But I heard there were pits...

:P

[Deja Q]

21. Man, I'm glad prostitution is illegal...

:rofl:

[texas1928]

25. Nah that has its ins and outs.

:rofl:

[oneighty]

22. I had a good job in a bloomer factory

pulling down fifty a week.

Sigh

180

[texas1928]

23. Are there women inside them?

PANT PANT


:P