OK. You're in hell. What was your first clue that it was hell?

[undeterred]

[TheProphetess]

1. The burning flesh

:evilgrin:

[maveric]

2. Kirk Cameron greeted me at the front door.

[momophile]

36. wha.....? ...

I mean, I remember him being a bad actor but was he really THAT bad?:hi:

[Cush]

44. go here...and no it's not a joke

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/

[momophile]

46. okay okay - I'm not "good enough to go to heaven"...

I only got to the first commandment before I got to sick to go on. My husband, however, is going through them all - what patience. All I can do is shake my finger at him and tell him he is going to hell - ha!

Thanks for letting me know about Kirk. I will never take him seriously again (not that I ever did).

:hi:

[philosophie_en_rose]

3. The Freepers.

Of course, liberal hell is freeper heaven. Full of puppy kicking, corn-flaked fried chicken, $cientologists, Fred Phelps, and other oppression.

:)


And Thomas Kincaide "art" printed on the inside of your eyelids. "Food" by Sandra Lee. :puke:

[momophile]

41. Fred Phelps!!!! GRRRRRR!!!!

That man makes me crazy! If I could wish one man out of existance, it would probably be him (but I'd have to consider Bush, of course).

And Thomas Kincaide!!! If I could wish one artist out of existance, it would probably be him (but I'd have to consider Anne Geddes who does the infant photos, of course).

[Gold Metal Flake]

4. Ronald Reagan greeted me at the front door.

[u4ic]

5. He used Rowan Atkinson's sketch

like any good Conservative, he outsourced his material. :silly:


Ah hello!. It's nice to see you all here. As the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is Hell. And I am the Devil (good evening), but you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal in here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time.

Now, you're all here for... eternity! Ooh! Which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time, so you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for now I'm going to have to split you up in groups. WILL YOU STOP SCREAMING! Thank you.

Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please. Thank you. Looters and pillagers over there. Thieves, if you could join them, and lawyers, you're in that lot too.

Fornicators, if you could step forward? My God, there are a lot of you! Could I split you up into adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small guillotine in the corner.

Em... the French, are you here? If you could just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.

Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of nitwits. Never mind. And finally, Christians. Christians? Ah, yes, I'm sorry but I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you would come down here, that would be really fine.

Okay! Right, well, are there any questions? Yes?

No, I'm afraid there aren't any toilets. If you read your Bible, you might have seen that it was damnation without relief, so if you did not go before you came, then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much... but then I believe that's the idea.

Okay. Well, it's over to you, Adolf! And I'll catch you all later at the barbecue. Bye!

from http://www.rowanatkinson.org/devil_sketch.htm#A%20Warm%20Welcome

[aclog]

6. nothing changed?

[Indy_Dem_Defender]

7. I see the

Great American Republican Museum on the ride into city hall.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

8. They Had No Cigarettes LOL

[xmas74]

13. Great name!

Why haven't you posted on this thread yet?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x4623533

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

18. LOL Just Did. Hey, bday is 12/13/74 by the way. (if that's what

your name is)

[xmas74]

19. Just a couple of weeks older than me.

12/27/74. I was supposed to be an Xmas baby.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

21. Yup, that's what I figured :) So You were born on a friday too then.

I was born on Friday the 13th :P

[xmas74]

22. Wish I had been.

That would be cool. According to numerology I'm some sort of sacrifice and I choose to live a rough life.
I loved pointing that out to people when I was younger. I was a rather odd child.

[Spider Jerusalem]

27. Ha ha!

[Ptah]

9. A few images:

I am larger than you:

:scared:

Very cold

:scared:

I am your overlord:


:scared:

[Orsino]

10. "Please Allow Me to Introducimacate Myself..."

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Big mile high sign: "No Martinis"

[intheflow]

31. Or, for the strictly teatotalling Bible thumpers:

"All Martinis, All The Time."

[pintobean]

12. I see this, as I'm climbing out of a bucket.

[swag]

14. All the TVs are tuned to pro sports and the only thing on tap is Bud light

[DanCa]

15. Which hell?

The frozen hell, the upside down hell, the hell were everyones wearing plaid and polka dots? Or the hell dimension that only has shrimp in it?

[Skittles]

16. republicans still exist

yup

[WritingIsMyReligion]

17. Pat Robertson was at the gate.

:scared:

[Ikonoklast]

20. The coffee was......

COLD.

[Servotron]

29. And the beer was warm.

Worse than that, it was Bud Lite :evilfrown:

[anarch]

23. I was there

so it must be hell.


HELL


I tell you.


:evilfrown:

[NMMNG]

24. I'm surrounded by fundies

[demnan]

25. Gore / Florida / 2000

n/t

[Maine Mary]

26. My father is there

.

[Maine-ah]

30. ditto that.

[sarge43]

28. Hell

I was at the end of the screaming baby line and it stretched back to the produce dept.

[Missy Vixen]

32. Karl Rove is the prom queen

The music consists of unutterably awful Muzak versions of songs one would usually sing along to, but now are violently nauseated by.

Televisions are all stuck on one channel -- guess which one?

McDonald's is the caterer...

Julie

[LynneSin]

33. I'm standing in the chow line next to Pat Robertson & Jerry Falwell

Seriously!

[yellowdogmi]

34. all the freepers

pestering me to go to church with them at the walmart

[Reverend_Smitty]

35. I'm in the biggest library in the world...

and the only books on the shelves are part of the "Left Behind" series...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[democracyindanger]

37. The sign that said "General Discussion"

[WritingIsMyReligion]

38. ...

:rofl:

[Strong Atheist]

39. No such place. nt.

[Midlodemocrat]

40. My MIL met me at the door.

[momophile]

42. so did mine. and she wants to chat...

about nothing... for hours... or since it's hell - for EVER!!!

[Midlodemocrat]

43. I envision that witch clawing her way up to Heaven

and my mother punting her back to Hell. I know. Mean. But she was awful to me.

[momophile]

45. sorry to hear that... mine is not mean...

just boring as hell. I guess I should count myself lucky - it could be a lot worse.

[Midlodemocrat]

47. Consider yourself lucky.

Mine was the prototype for the mom on Everybody Loves Raymond, except she was so bad, they had to make Marie more believable by making her a LOT kinder than mine was.