why are all the good women either married or lesbians?

[leftofthedial]

or both?


what's up with that?

:hide:

[NMMNG]

1. Probably for the same reason all the good men are married and/or gay.

:popcorn:

[billyskank]

5. I am neither!

:cry:

[NMMNG]

81. There are exceptions to every rule.

:hug:

[billyskank]

88. Thanks Buffy!

:hug:

[KitchenWitch]

82. Yes you are a good man!

:hi:

[billyskank]

89. Hey KitchenWitch!

I was just thinking of starting a thread about how I hadn't seen you in ages. I knew you were here though; I could feel your witchcraft!

Thank you for the compliment! :hug:

:hi:

[leftofthedial]

27. I'm bad

I knew it

[NMMNG]

83. Sometimes being bad is good.

:evilgrin:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

90. I'm neither, too!

Oh, wait, you said "good" men.

[blonndee]

2. Um, they know what they want?

Just kidding...I'm bisexual, so I totally could be accused of not knowing what I want!

I second the first response!

[leftofthedial]

so you're good except when you're bad

and then you're really good, which is bad because it means you're either married or a lesbian

man. relationships are so confusing.

[AtomicKitten]

3. I'm neither married nor gay, oh, wait, you said good ... never mind n/t

[leftofthedial]

20. but when you're bad you're good, so . . .

:evilgrin:

[Tsiyu]

4. All good women are not married or lesbians -

they are in hiding :scared:

[leftofthedial]

14. hiding from what?

jerks like me? LOL

[Tsiyu]

70. They are hiding from all the single men

who are hiding from them.

Everybody needs to come out of hiding....:hide:

[leftofthedial]

72. no more hiding

for me

[HawkerHurricane]

6. Have you considered...

that they are lying to you when they say they are married or lesbian?

[leftofthedial]

15. oh great, as if married and lesbian weren't enough

I now have a third choice--all the good women are liars!?

I give up.

[tjdee]

7. I'm not either. But, I do have a child, which is akin to syphilis or TB,

apparently. At least with guys my age.

So there's that.

Which is really too bad, as both of us are ridiculously cute. :silly:

[Gormy Cuss]

10. ..

"akin to syphilis"
:rofl:

[leftofthedial]

21. well, kids are a kind of sexually transmitted disease

if you really think about it

[BuelahWitch]

12. I'm over weight, which is kind of the same thing

[leftofthedial]

30. same thing as being a lesbian?

lots of guys like women with some meat on their bones.

[BuelahWitch]

51. LOL no! I was replying to the post about having kids

More like akin to having syphillis or TB.

But thanks, I needed that! :hi:

[tjdee]

40. Yeah, it's like....guess what, I'm still here....

I'm sure you look great (particularly if you're a woman, because women tend to undervalue themselves while men overvalue). But lots of hetero men tend to have odd (read: dumb and fake) expectations about what a dateable woman is/looks like.


I'm told not all men are like that....bwahhahahahahahaa.

[leftofthedial]

76. Kind of like a cross between Susan Sarandon and Naomi Watts?

what's so dumb and fake about that?

:shrug:

[elshiva]

85. Yay, know the feeling...

:hug:

[leftofthedial]

16. I love kids

so I don't mind if the good woman has kid(s)

but most of the women my age have grown kids.

[tjdee]

41. See, I know!

I am pretty sure I'm not compatible with men over 35, which is a shame because most of them don't mind kids at all.

Unless the man in question is Shah Rukh Khan. I'm SO sure I'm compatible with him, even though he just turned 40. :loveya:

[xmas74]

46. I always thought it was more like herpes or leprosy.

That's how they treat me and my daughter.

[tjdee]

52. Oh yeah, those too...basically anything that they think is catching.

And undesirable. :grr:

Dummies.

[xmas74]

53. I can spell my own name and read a newspaper.

In parts of my state that is undesirable.

[leftofthedial]

56. can you still spell when you are barefoot?

[xmas74]

80. I would say yes.

I'm barefoot right now. Any mistakes I make at this time are from taking a double dose of Nyquil.

[leftofthedial]

86. unless you are one of those recreational Nyquil users

get well soon

I've had a flu/cold crud for almost 2 weeks now.

I'm still pretty hoarse and snotty. It just won't go away.

[xmas74]

92. I only use it for flu.

And my kid has had it for a week now. She seems to be better so she is sent to school and, two hours later, the school sends her home.
Can't wait to see if she is sent home this morning or not.

[LeftyMom]

8. I'm neither

I'm not on the market, though.

[leftofthedial]

19. I guess I meant "not on the market" when I said "married"

[TheProphetess]

9. The truth is that it only feels that way

Because anything that is out of our reach seems more attractive to us. It's the "grass is always greener" phenomenon.
Or you could be right.
:shrug:

[leftofthedial]

36. Story of my life

I'm either right

or I'm not


:-)

[supernova]

11. I'm standing right here

*hands on hips*

[leftofthedial]

22. where?

*madly swivelling head and adjusting bifocals*

[Blue-Jay]

13. both?

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[jobycom]

17. Cause they don't want yer punk ass, chump!!!

Um, sorry, got carried away.
:yoiks:

[leftofthedial]

23. when you're right

yer right

[aclog]

18. Who cares

I like the bad girls anyway :)

[leftofthedial]

26. you mean, you like girls who, who, who . . .

who don't practice abstinence!!

*aghast*

[aclog]

87. well they've mastered abstience

to the point where they don't need to practice at it anymore :D

[yvr girl]

24. OMG! I'm a lesbian?!

I had no idea.

[leftofthedial]

25. how do you feel about that

now that you know?

I'm glad to have been part of your revelation.

[yvr girl]

29. It doesn't really explain why I lust after George Clooney

So I'm a little confused.

[leftofthedial]

33. it's normal to be confused

especially once I get involved.

[Fleshdancer]

34. congratulations!

I wonder how long it will take for your new toaster to arrive.

[FuzzySlippers]

45. Me, too, yivvers.

Maybe we should get together.

[khashka]

28. I think it's because

good women know good men when they see them, or if they are of the oither tribe know good women....

The real question is why all the good guys are married or gay - but either way still won't sleep with me?


Khash.

[liberalhistorian]

31. I don't know. Why do good men only

seem to be attracted to "bitches" and then ignore nice women like my friends and I, all the while bitching that there aren't any "nice" women around? :shrug: :mad:

[leftofthedial]

35. whoa!

I don't ignore anybody. Does that make me a bad man?

You're partly right though. For most of my life so far, I was married to a "bitch" and ignored some mighty nice women.

*kicks self in ass*

[Lorien]

105. I've wondered about that too; I know quite a few women who treat men

like garbage; belittle them, publicly humiliate them, play mind games with them, make unrealistic demands of them...these women aren't very attractive, either, but they are NEVER without dates! I just don't get it. :shrug:

[bertha katzenengel]

32. Some good women choose not to date or marry.

My sister among them.

:shrug:

[leftofthedial]

37. cool! I don't want to get married

and not dating really saves money! Girl o' my dreams!

[lizziegrace]

38. Ahem

We're not all lesbians or married. Some of us have been on the receiving end of a lot of heartache that cost us our marriages/relationships with someone we trused withour hearts. It may be difficult to trust again, but I for one hope I am not a lost cause.

[weeble_wobble]

42. Hear hear!

This woman couldn't agree more! :)

[leftofthedial]

62. sorry for your heartache

had some of my own

[lizziegrace]

75. Thanks

It's all part of it. Giving your heart involves risk. No risk, no chance at love and happiness.

:hi:

[struggle4progress]

39. Why are all the good lesbians women?

[MissHoneychurch]

43. I am a good woman

(at least I think I am)

neither married nor lesbian.

so where is the guy that will take advantage of that? :)

[tjdee]

44. Probably looking for a 19 year old blonde volleyball player.

:hide:

Sorry, it had to be said!

Men don't appreciate us good ladies! And women don't don't appreciate good men, and men don't appreciate good men and women don't appreciate....sigh.

[MissHoneychurch]

48. most likely

too bad I am a bit older than 19 and never was good at volleyball. Darn ... no wonder I neve rhad a chance

:hide:

[leftofthedial]

59. why do you hate 19 year old volleyball players?

I'd prefer a 40-something year old volleyball player

LOL

[MissHoneychurch]

60. I don't hate them

I am just none of them ;)

[leftofthedial]

71. well don't knock a little one-on-one volleyball

until you've tried it

I'm one who can find myself attracted to women from 20s through 60s. Trouble is, that's the same age range that apparently finds me unattractive. LOL

[Oeditpus Rex]

50. Halfway around the freakin' planet

--->:web:



:cry:

[MissHoneychurch]

54. so why do you live in the US??

oh wait, that is an American forum :)

[Oeditpus Rex]

74. My paperwork got screwed up

On my application, under Desired Country of Birth, I specifically put Canada, England and Ireland, in that order.

Bloody bureaucrats. :grr:

[leftofthedial]

58. but you're always traveling!

It's hard to hit a moving target

:-)

[MissHoneychurch]

61. not true

I was home this weekend

:P

[leftofthedial]

63. well give us some warning next time

and I'm sure we'll be lining up at your door

[MissHoneychurch]

65. ok, I will

:)

and my friend will be there as well. She is still looking as well. And she has long blonde hair and is a petite woman.

[leftofthedial]

69. I'll bring a change of clothes

:evilgrin:

[Maddy McCall]

47. I'm neither...but then, I never claimed to be a "good woman."

:evilgrin:

[leftofthedial]

64. that's even better than "good"

:evilgrin:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

49. What's a "good" woman?

There are plenty of us out here who are neither married nor lesbians, but it seems like if a woman is no longer young and/or hot, men often seem to regard her truly good qualities (the important ones, like intelligence and kindness) as unimportant.

[leftofthedial]

66. what's "hot"?

how old is "no longer young"?

I think some people need a physical attraction. Some don't.

Personally, I usually check her teeth and her haunches. But that's just me. I'm mainly into smart and funny and a sense of adventure.

[UncleSepp]

97. Maybe the good women find you dim and boring

I have no more idea if this is true than if the good women really are all either lesbians or married. All of the smart, adventurous women I know are either single or very unhappily married. As soon as they get into relationships with men, their men want them to not be too smart (and make them feel dumb), stop doing adventurous things (unless it's what he wants), and be funny for his friends without going so far as to appear to be flirting with anyone or to be more entertaining than he is.

Maybe you don't want what you think you want. It happens. Consider if your sense of adventure means "willing to go on MY kind of adventures", if your "funny" means "able to entertain me and laughs at my jokes", and what exactly you mean by "smart". If you're willing to go on her kind of adventures and to learn to like a sense of humor that might not be the same as your own, and if you're willing to match yourself up with a woman who might be smarter than you are sometimes, you're in really good shape.

Maybe you're just not looking in the right places. There are singles groups that go do adventurous things, like rafting and skydiving and the like. Try joining a group like that to find adventurous women who are single and looking. If you want to meet a funny woman, try a comedy club, a cabaret, or something along those lines. If you want to meet a smart woman, try social activities that challenge your own mind. See who you find!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

106. Uncle Sepp speaks the truth!

One long-ago gentleman friend introduced me to one of his interests. I, too, became genuinely interested in it and began reading up on it. Big mistake. It turns out that he didn't want someone who knew a lot about this interest. He wanted someone whom he could instruct about this interest--and he actually mentioned that as a grievance when he dumped me!

I think that one of the reasons that single women are wondering where all the good men are, and single men are wondering where all the good women are is that the genders have different ideas of what "good" means. After a certain age, women have lived through enough that they don't need a "hero" or a "breadwinner." They want to share their lives with someone whom they can love and respect who will also love and respect them--as an equal companion in life. So many of the men seem to want a woman whom they can see as inferior or vulnerable in some way--younger, dumber, poorer, an emotionally dysfunctional wreck whom they can "rescue," perhaps foreign and not savvy about the ways of this country.

[UncleSepp]

108. Many women are also rescuers

I've seen many women friends go through heartbreak after heartbreak with men they want to nurture and fix, only to find that the men they chose want to stay broken and be nurtured forever. I suspect they fear that a man who isn't broken won't need them, and have a hard time conceiving of someone who doesn't need them wanting them anyway. There is also a malignant kind of fixer - equal parts men and women do this - who will deliberately break a partner in order to fix him or her, over and over and over.

What wouldn't I give for an equal companion who grants me the same, a strong and warm person who loves himself or herself enough to love me for myself! You have caught me on a very lonesome night, Lydia Leftcoast.

[RetroLounge]

55. I am so not going there...

:popcorn:

RL

[leftofthedial]

67. chicken

no good women for you

[bicentennial_baby]

57. i'm neither...

but, i am more than spoken for...sorry :)

[leftofthedial]

68. what is "more than spoken for"

can't you speak for yourself?

;-)

[bicentennial_baby]

73. indeed i can

but here, i choose not to :)

[Lydia Leftcoast]

77. I'm neither married nor lesbian, but after all these years, I'm fussy

I have no use for men whose idea of "having a lot of interests" is liking both football and basketball, old-fashioned men who are looking for nothing more than a housekeeper with benefits, old guys who are looking for a nursemaid, alcoholics, clueless narcissists who think that they can bribe or cajole a woman into loving them, sixty-year-olds who won't date anyone over thirty-five because they finally decided that they want kids after all, attached men looking for "a little bit on the side," men who engage in recreational arguing, chicken-hearted suburban bigots who cross the street to avoid black people, and men who run in the opposite direction when they find out what I do for a living (by far the largest group).

I'd love to meet a more-or-less age-appropriate man with a wide-ranging intelligence (no one-topic nerds), subtle wit, a kind heart, one who attends artistic and cultural events even when he's not dating anyone, who revels in foreign cultures instead of being suspicious of them, who shares or at least tolerates my religious beliefs, and who doesn't think the trophy house and the SUV are the height of human achievement.

I know many men who fit the above description, every last one of them married or gay.

[leftofthedial]

79. straight and single here

sounds like you've had some bad experiences

I don't know what you do for a living, but I hope it isn't neocon paid assassin.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

94. My profession is

Japanese-English translator. Americans in general are intimidated by foreign languages, and even though I do NOT go around bragging about being a translator, the question eventually comes up, and my answer is one of the fastest anti-aphrodisiacs I know.

I've had some good experiences, too, but lately, the bad have outnumbered the good. :-(

[Lorien]

104. In my experience, if you have any profession that has required a higher

education it's an anti-aphrodisiac, as is making a good salary. In my early thirties I had a six figure income; once a date discovered what I made, he made excuses to leave. :-(

[GOPisEvil]

107. Really? I mean...REALLY?!

Those men were idiots. Insecure dolts.

I don't care what you make - it's not who you are.

[Cats Against Frist]

91. Good post

And, as for my own answer to the original OP -- I WAS once a good woman, ready to be faithful, and open and honest and communicative, loving, work hard, and share in a healthy, egalitarian relationship.

Then, I hit puberty, and was:

ridiculed, by boys, as a child, for my weight
felt up on a basketball court by one of my friends' dads
cheated on
almost gang raped
mentally tortured by a psychopathic boyfriend
bored to death by a lame-ass boyfriend
found out I was the "other woman," TWICE
lost two career positions to people that the male boss was fucking
and got knocked up by an alcoholic asshole who emotionally tortured me, physically abused me, showed me the depths of meanness and anger, and continues to make every single waking moment of my life a pain in the ass.

So, I guess the real question is: where are all the decent men, who range in age from 12 to 100, that aren't the emotionless, addicted, gruff, obsessed-compulsed, cheating, psychopathic, abusive, damaged, angry, proud men who have made my life and the life of just about EVERY WOMAN I KNOW either a living hell, a medieval prison or a babysitting fest?

Until I find him, I'm using every man I can for money or no-strings-attached sex. This is how it happens, boys.

[Boojatta]

102. "where are all the decent men, who range in age from 12 to 100"

Maybe if you restricted your attention to men who range in age from 18 to 65, rather than men who range in age from 12 to 100, you wouldn't find your life made into a babysitting fest.

You seem to be seeing both the first childhood and the second childhood. Why not focus on the prime years of adulthood?

[Boojatta]

101. "run in the opposite direction when they find out what I do for a living"

undertaker?

[Lorien]

103. Amen Lydia! You wrote EXACTLY what I've been thinking/ feeling for

years now. Although I'd also add men who use psychological and physical abuse to "control" their wives/ girlfriends in the first paragraph (my fiance was such a man, back when I was 20 and foolishly didn't think I could find anyone better). I quit dating when I turned 36 because I realized after posting on quite a few matchmaking sites that the only guys I would attract at that age were over 55 and desperate for a brood mare to give them some offspring. I don't look forward to growing old alone, but there aren't any other options once we hit 40. :-(

[CBHagman]

78. You missed a few hundred million.

I mean, have you checked personally or something to see which women are available and which are good? And where in the hell do you find the time?

Generally speaking, it's a bad idea to make sweeping generalizations. :evilgrin:

[leftofthedial]

84. what generalization

it's all in my definiition of "good"

[Trigger Hippie]

93. I'm not married or gay.

And I think I'm pretty good. :hi:

[KamaAina]

95. I've been wondering that for a while myself

plus, they're all on the Mainland! :eyes:

[Beware the Beast Man]

96. you made them that way.

:D

[IntravenousDemilo]

98. Probably for the same reason all the best-looking men are gay...

...or would like to be. After all, who wouldn't like a larger penis?

[Ally McLesbian]

99. Dunno...

As I am guilty as charged... :)

[RandomKoolzip]

100. Why do men have impossible standards?