Went to my first open casket viewing funeral this weekend.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

It seemed strange at the viewing, seeing my friend's body, looking about the same, but devoid of life.

I can see the value of this ritual, seeing the body reinforces the REALITY that the person has died... If I had just heard that they died, it wouldn't seem quite the same I think.

The body also gives people a focus for their grief I suppose...

I guess I still haven't really decided how I feel about this ritual but I guess I can see the value of it to the bereaved.

[momophile]

1. I can pretty much trust that a person is dead...

no need here to go to a viewing... icky...

[Whoa_Nelly]

26. When one of my closest life-long friends died suddenly

on Jan. 19, 1998, there was an open casket viewing. His daughters (he was a single dad) and friends and I gathered around, shared stories, cried, loved him from our hearts one more time. I had brought my Polaroid camera, so I started taking pics outside the funeral home of any one who wanted their photo to be buried with him that day. Needless to say, there were over 40 photos, and I made sure the ones of his two young daughters were on the top and tucked into his folded hands.

It was my first open casket funeral, and because of the special friendship he and I shared, it provided closure for me. I had been the love of his life, and did not know how deep his love for me was until after he died. He had asked me to marry him three different times, and I loved him as a friend, a lover, but not as someone I had a passion for...I turned him down each time :cry:

When he died, his best friend called me, and in turn, I called his younger brother who was alone and grieving at his brother's home. I flew to WA that evening, helped with all the plans, and took care of the 100+ visitors/friends stopping by. What amazed me was when I would open the door to his friends, most people I had never met, THEY recognized me immediately, called me by name and hugged me right away...all because he had told them so much about me and shared pics of me. It was The Big Chill in real life, lasting four days...not much sleeping, a lot of memories shared, moments of very private conversations with these people, and 24/7 partying going on in Mike's memory.

He was buried 8 years ago today.

RIP, dear Michael. I miss you still.

[momophile]

31. thanks for sharing, Whoa_Nelly

I like the idea of adding the pictures to be buried with your close friend. Sorry for your loss. Hang in there.:hug:

[babylonsister]

79. How wonderful for you to go through that, Whoa!

To be loved is infinite!
RIP for Michael.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

42. My mother in law died 12 years ago in NJ

we didn't get there before she was cremated. We all still have trouble believng she is dead.

[babylonsister]

78. Wow. My m-i-l wants to be

cremated, but wants to be 'viewed' for 24 hours. We live in TX,
she lives in MA. Weather could determine our course.

[AngryAmish]

2. Almost every wake has been open casket that I have gone to

Must be an irish-catholic thing.


on edit: two, too and to are different words. I am stupid.

[azmouse]

5. Same here.

All my family has had open casket viewing. I don't think it's morbid at all.
It's a chance to say final good-byes.

[AngryAmish]

9. Plus it gives you a chance to critque the undertaker's work

[tigereye]

33. same here

I don't think I've ever been to one that wasn't. It would be weird not to see the person...

[LeftyMom]

3. I've only been to one and won't repeat it

The practice is beyond morbid and looking down on a teenage aquaintance's waxy corpse was not exactly comforting.

[trof]

36. I'm with you. I think it's barbaric.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

43. But it isn't supposed to be

comforting. It is supposed to be hard. And hard then makes it easier later.

Now, that word "acquaintance" might be important. For my mom, we had open casket for family owner. We figured we didn't need to do that to just our colleagues, friends, etc.

[redwitch]

55. Maybe it isn't meant to be a comfort to acquaintances.

It means a great deal to the sad and suffering family members and loved ones to feel the solid comfort and support of friends though.
Imagine how they would feel if no one showed up at their kid's service?

[LeftyMom]

62. Perhaps

but a viewing the evening before may be a better choice, so those who wish to view the body may and those who would prefer to attend the service but are uncomfortable with the open casket can still attend. Also, the family can say thier goodbyes in private that way.

Luckily my family usually does cremation and a simple graveside service, so I haven't had to pass up many services as a result of my no-open casket policy (so far only one, for my aunt's husband.)

[redwitch]

64. oh, didn't realize it was funeral and not wake.

my family usually does open casket wake, private family service the morning of the funeral, and then the funeral- closed casket. We didn't have calling hours for my dad and I have always regretted it. His would have been closed casket.

[bertha katzenengel]

4. I've seen two. I was told it was disrespectful to the family not to pass

by the coffin and look at the deceased.

Not one to disrespect anyone, I swallowed my bile and looked.

:shudder:

[Der Blaue Engel]

82. I refused to look at my mother's body at her funeral when I was 14

because the thought was horrifying to me. Nobody seemed to think it was disrespectful of me (but then maybe at 14 I was missing the nuances); personally, I think a family ought to respect each mourner's wishes about a thing like that, and not take offense if it's too hard for someone to do.

I did view two friends at funerals when I was older, and I found it added very little to my sense of closure; the bodies looked nothing like my friends.

[bertha katzenengel]

84. My mother was never "available" for viewing. Thank God. I was eleven.

I can't imagine being made to look at your mother's body. I'm glad they didn't make you.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

6. I will add that I work in a field where viewing dead bodies is not new or

shocking to me. Just a bit so in the context of someone who was a friend.

[xmas74]

7. My family always has open casket

unless the body is off to be cremated. They don't bother me-it's just part of the service.

[jane_pippin]

8. I see why it's done, but I don't like it.

I hate that the last time I saw my gramma's face she wasn't alive. Ugh. That day was horrible. Inevitable, but still horrible.

[momophile]

11. I'm there with you. Talk about scarring a child. nt

[jane_pippin]

12. Yeah, except I was 23 at the time.

When my grampa died a few years before that one of my cousins was still pretty little and he seemed more confused than anything else. But I agree with you--I'm glad I was not taken along to funerals as a kid.

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Open casket viewing does not automatically scar a child;

it might scar some, sure; but it is absolutely not automatic. And I would think any child who would be bothered by it, their parents will know, and tell the child it's okay not to look.

Most of the midwest are open casket people, and children have been viewing dead bodies for generations.

[momophile]

28. okay, not automatic...

but I went to my grandma's at age 5 and it still creeps me out at 33. I'm a big wimp, though.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

45. OH, now THAT I agree with

My grandparents died when I was 10 and 14. I was not made to go into the viewing room, although I was there. I remember I got a quick glimpse of my grandfather at 14 and it horrified me.

However, much later..at 55... when I stood over my parents it gave me time to look, think, cry, stand with my sisters. As a part time florist I did all the flowers for both. And the feeling that you are doing something for them..I remember straightening my dad's tie. The hard part was when they closed it. I just wanted to stay there for hours but they had to close it and we had to move on.

It was a vital step in my grieving process.

In America we relegate birth and death to hospitals. That is not natural or healthy, in my opinion.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

24. Nobody should be forced to look on a dead body.

Regardless of tradition, and regardless of the way the surviving family members feel about it.

[redwitch]

53. Most of the funerals I have been to were open casket

Including my mother, father, grandparents, aunts and uncles. I have to say, I don't really remember their faces in the coffin. I see them in specific memorable moments throughout their lives. I have no recall of how they looked that last time.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

63. Same here redwitch. I've only been to a few wakes

that were not open caskets and that seemed very strange to me.

In fact when my Dad died my sister, two brothers and myself were of course the last ones in the funeral parlor and just before I kissed Daddy good-bye, I started to laugh. My oldest brother looked at me like are you insane, but then I said to my sister, "do you remember the fight Mom and Daddy had about the upstairs shower?"

Then all four of us just cracked up. My Mom had a "thing" about using the shower in the main bathroom of the house. Both houses we lived in always had a shower in the basement. Well in 1974 when my parents decided to "finish" the basement in our second home, my brother, the plumber in the family, had to dismantle the old one and replace it. My father always took a shower every night when he came home from work. Well, the first Monday that the downstairs shower was out of commission, Daddy came home from work and as usual started taking his shower but in the main bathroom.

My Mother proceeded to walk in on him and tell him, in a very loud tone, to "turn off that goddamn shower and take a bath." My father replied, "goddamn it Mary, maybe you like to sit in your own filth, but I don't." My sister and I were both witnesses to this and all we could do was :rofl:.

When my parents finally realized that both of us were laughing at them, they just started to laugh as well. Talk about a stupid argument. Both my sister and myself, of course, told everyone in the family about this incident and it was the cause of absolute hilarity in the family for years after. Needless to say, the four of us walked out of the funeral parlor giggling. But I know in my heart that Mom and Daddy especially, were laughing right along with us.

[redwitch]

65. How wonderful and unusual to have such a happy memory

of such a sad event. Perhaps it was a nudge from your parents to lighten your hearts at that moment? I am certain they were in attendence.

[mohinoaklawnillinois]

66. Thanks, redwitch. I have no doubt that they were in the room with us.

In fact, my oldest brother said afterwards it was their way of letting us know that they were finally together again.

Mom died in 1983 and Daddy never really was the same after her death. They fought like cats and dogs at times, but they really and truly did love each other.

[jane_pippin]

67. I think in my case it was because it was my grandma--this grandma

who I was very close to. I've been to other funerals in the family that were open casket and I was okay with it. And it's not like seeing her that way is my only memory--not by a longshot. It's just that I didn't want that to be the last way I saw her. Her death, though not a surprise, was really hard for me to take. (I'm almost tearing up thinking about it now and it's been about 4 years already.) It was difficult to see and I hated that I had to be in the same space for hours and not be able to hear her voice or see her smile and yet--there she was, in a sense. At that service I was the one who lost it--it was the bagpipes that really put me over the edge, I think. It was the most difficult day I've had so far--hands down. Like I said above, of course it was inevitable but it was still horrible for me.

Okay now I'm bawling over it again. I just wish that that wasn't my last image in this case. That's all. But I guess that's just how it is, right? I have to laugh because I can just hear her scolding me for getting so worked up over it. (Her mantra at funerals was "No wailing." But too bad, in this case.) Ah well. It is what it is. I hope this made my other posts a little more clear.

[redwitch]

75. oh, sorry!

I almost always lose it at funerals. And bagpipes-forget about it, the first note I'd be off.
I'm sorry her funeral was so upsetting for you. Some memories hurt forever I think, sometimes they just feel raw and recent no matter how long it's been. Cheer up jane- "No wailing" -LOL

[Miss Marmelstein]

10. When I was in High School....

I worked as an organist at several funeral parlors...I got used to seeing the bodies.

[djeseru]

13. The hardest one was my dad.

I think because he was taken so suddenly from me. All the other open-casket affairs didn't bother me, I realized that what was in the box was just an empty shell of that person.

[zanne]

16. Me too, djeseru.

I was eleven. Back then, wakes lastest three days. Before they closed the casket for good, his fingers were turning purple.

[djeseru]

19. I was 21.

But eleven has got to be twice as hard. I can't imagine having to deal with that memory...I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[uppityperson]

59. Hardest one was my mom, and when they closed it prior to service

Her body was just a body that looked sort of like her. But when they closed it, I wanted to grab it and run out of the church with it. Too final.

[NNadir]

14. I actually hate these things.

It just puts a morbid cast on memories of the living person.

My mother died 30 years ago, and for many years I was disturbed - particularly when dreaming - by visions of her dead body. She had a brain tumor; she had lost all her hair to radiation treatments, and the wig, I think, was the worst thing.

Ick!

I want my wife to take me directly to the incinerator. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. I want my kids to remember their living Dad.

[Der Blaue Engel]

83. My mother died 25 years ago of the same thing

I hated that godawful wig. I refused to view the body, but pictures of her from near the end always upset me. I keep pictures of her from her teens and twenties around me now, which make me feel closer to her.

I also want to be cremated. I'm freaked by the idea of someone staring at my dead body, or by the idea of my body being in the ground.

[Book Lover]

15. It helps me but I certainly understand those who don;t like it

When my mother passed, we were in her hospital room for nearly 8 hours, until they took her body away. That was very helpful to me and my family. Your milage will vary.

[SeattleGirl]

17. My dad's was open casket but I refused to look.

It was mostly because my last memory of being with my dad is a very good one, and I didn't want to overshadow it with the memory that my last look at him was in a casket. One of my aunts got mad at me because I wouldn't look, but my grandfather told her to leave me alone.

[prolesunited]

27. I have that issue as well

I want the memory of that person being alive fixed in my mind, not their dead body. I wouldn't go to family funerals, all open casket for the longest time. I used to get in huge fights with my mom about it. She said, "So, I suppose you won't be going to my funeral then!"

I've reached a compromise now. I'll attend funerals but I have to sit in the back and I tend to stay in the lobby area. I won't go anywhere near the front.

My whole family knows how I am about this, so they didn't give my a hard time when my mom died and I didn't participate in any of the family rituals near the casket. BUT, I did go to her funeral. When my brother died, he was cremated, so it wasn't an issue.

For both of them, we created photo boards about their lives. I really enjoy those, and it's become more of a tradition in our extended family. It's nice to talk about the history and the happy times.

[SeattleGirl]

30. Photo boards are wonderful, and do contribute to

memories and stories about the person. One of my closest friends died a few years ago. The funeral was very small and private, just for family, but they had an open memorial for her after that. They had a photo board set up, and my friend's daughter-in-law was letting people take a picture that meant a lot to them, so I have one of my favorite pictures of her framed on the bookshelf in my living room. (The DIL also found a card I had given my friend years ago, and gave it to me at the service. The card now hangs in my office, and is one of most special possessions.)

Anyway, I'm glad your family has come to accept your preference of not looking in the open casket. Hold on to the best memories!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

47. My dad had alzheimers

and had lost his dignity. But after the undertaker did his thing, he was my "daddy" once again and dignified. What a relief.

[SeattleGirl]

In your case, looking was a good thing

It gave you back your dad as you mostly remembered him. :hug:

[NashVegas]

51. My Grandmother's Was Open and I Wish I Had Looked

One of my aunts started to walk me up to the casket and I freaked and backed away. My mom didn't try to make me go up but I wish now that she had talked me into it.

I regret that I was shielded from dealing with death from an early age. No one in my family or close acquaintance has died for over twenty years. When the next one goes it's gonna hurt, bad.

[dr.strangelove]

18. I always appreciate it

I'm from a traditional irish Catholic family, so I have been going to open casket wakes for most of my life. My first was my grandpa when I was only 5. My dad asked if I wanted to see his body one last time and I said yes. It was great for me. I cried a lot, but I got to see him one last time, even though I knew he was not really there.

Now I still think that last viewing is a good thing for me. It just does something special for me and lets me connect with a lost friend or family member one last time.

[LaraMN]

20. I never look., anymore.

I'm among those who just want to remember a person as they were in life. A final image is a very powerful thing to me, and I don't want it to be one of death. I understand that other people feel differently, though.

[Shine]

21. I've been to many open casket funerals.

although I agree with the other posters, that it's hard to have the dead vacant body be the last visual you have of that person, I also believe it's an important ritual for the loved ones to begin to come to closure with the death.

I'm still undecided, truthfully, about what I want to do, with respect to my own body. We've already made the arrangements for our funerals and cremations, but I'm conflicted about the open viewing thing.

I had a Hospice client last spring once who was the most meticulous woman I'd EVER visited, regarding her wishes for her own funeral. She knew she wanted an open casket, she had already "assigned" her pall bearers, she knew what songs and prayers would be sung/said, she'd even PRE-paid for her own flowers and the food!! And that's not even mentioning all the things she did on the homefront to prepare for her death, in terms of letting stuff go and giving her treasures away. It was a powerful lesson for me to view how accepting she was of her own inevitable passing. Whew! I'll never forget her. At her funeral, which I was honored to attend, I was deeply moved to see she got everything she wanted, in the end. O8)

I would wish that for ALL of us....

Shine

[seemunkee]

22. I hate them

My brother and I were in agreement that we did not want one for our mother. Whenever I think of my grandmother it is the image of her in the casket that I remember first. The body is a shell and what made them a person is gone.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

23. It helped me, when my father passed away...

The body didn't look exactly like him, of course; but it was better than my last sight of him, with one tube stuck up his nose, another down his throat, and a cardiac needle still stuck in him.

I still have that picture too, but the make-up job somehow helped me focus through my grief on the peace he is now experiencing instead of the trauma he suffered before death.

[Maine-ah]

29. can't do 'em

my grandfather's funeral had an open casket, and I wouldn't go in until they closed it. I was a wreck any way, we had lost four family members with in one year. One of them being my father.

The make up job was really bad too, I could see him from the door way. WTF were they thinking?

[dryan]

32. Have been to both.....

[tigereye]

34. it's so natural to me

we have always sat and chatted and laughed and cried and looked at pictures, with the body there. My son sat and read his comic book at his GM's funeral.You kneel and pay your respects. It has never made me feel weird about that being the last memory, since everyone talking about them is the last memory.

When my Uncle died in Korea and no one could go, his friends and colleagues there made a film of him being prepared to be buried ( it is much more "hands on" than here in the US) and then a party at the gravesite a year later. It was neat.

I guess it's an Irish Catholic thing.

[Kali]

35. Death is a natural part of our existance - I think its moslty a good thing

we have sanitized birth and death so much that most people don't have a clue and are frightened by it. What I don't care for is the make up. A dead body is natural, one with make up on is creepy to me.

[Initech]

37. My aunt's two years ago was open casket and it was pretty unreal

And it also wasnt a very pleasant experience.

[mvd]

38. First of all, sorry about your friend's death

You should approach an open casket based on how it affects you. If it bothers you, I don't think your friend would mind. Sometimes I like to see a loved one for a last time. Speaking of, I'll be going to my uncle's funeral on Wednesday. So I'll be on a bit of a break from DU.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

40. It wasn't terribly disturbing.. just strange. My friend was a real "live

wire" personality, a "firecracker", and to see her body, just an empty shell, was kinda weird.

I definitely prefer to remember her from the last time we were all out, when she was still in reasonably good health.

I don't think seeing her body will necessarily "contaminate" that other memory.

My wife placed a piece of jewelry that she always liked in the casket with her, I think it was nice that she was able to do that.

There was a very good picture board at the funeral, it was opposite her casket so you didn't have to look at both at the same time (whew!). This is the second funeral ever that I've been to, the other one had an excellent picture board too, I agree those are an excellent thing.

[Saphire]

39. been to them all of my life, and my main reason for wanting NOT

to have an open casket. I really dont relish the idea of a lot of people gawking at my death....

[jus_the_facts]

41. I went to my first *viewing* when I was 5...my great uncle....

....I kissed his forehead and told him to sleep tight...tell Jesus I said hello...dealt with death extremely well when I was younger...it gets much more difficult the older I get. :(

[supernova]

44. I've done both kinds of funerals

Open casket; closed casket.

It doesn't bother me to see the body. It does provide closure and the casket face is not the thing that I remember about them. I remember them as they were and how we connected.

Closed casket is fine if that's what the person wished, or they were too ill or too injured to want to be seen.

I love the picture and story boards. We did that at my mom's funeral. We put up pictures and artifacts from throughout her life: little girl's ballet shoes, a T-square, wedding pics. It gave us wonderful things to talk about and remember, not just her illness.

Look, death, no matter how you arrive at it, is a part of life. I don't think it's morbid or unnatural to see the body of someone who was close to you. In fact, I would find it rather cruel to push them away, shun them in effect, when they die. But again, I defer to what the deceased wants.

For myself, I don't know yet. :shrug: I think I probably want to be creamated, but other than that I can't say.

[bigwillq]

46. So sorry on the loss of your friend.

:hug: I've been to a few open casket viewings. I don't like them at all. :(

[YellowRubberDuckie]

48. I understand that..

My sister has been gone for four years now, and it still doesn't feel real. She was virtually cremated in a car accident when she was 8 months pregnant. I never got to see her. And I still expect her to call me. She didn't live in the same state with me for years. So, it's like she's just been gone for an extended period. It's helpful to see someone. It makes it more real.
Mel

[BuelahWitch]

49. I thought it was strange when I went to my first closed casket

viewing. It was the three year old son of a woman who worked with my mother. He'd been hit by a car. The casket was white and very small. It was pretty hard to see. :cry:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

50. I don't understand the fear that "the dead body will be your last memory"

of the deceased.

My extended family has always had open-casket wakes (not funerals--according to Lutheran protocol, the casket has to be closed before the service starts), and I can honestly say that I barely remember how various relatives looked in their coffins. For one thing, I have many more pictures of them alive than I do memories of them dead.

I don't LIKE that first glance at the deceased. It's always a shock. But I've never been haunted by such visions.

[supernova]

56. I agree with you Lydia

I vaguely remember what people looked like in death, if I think about it, but it's not the first image I automatically recall when I recall them. Not at all.

Usually it's something they said to me (oddly just random bits of everyday conversation), someplace we visited together, or something along those lines.

[Fox Mulder]

52. I was 20 at my grandpa's funeral.

It was open casket.

I'm still scarred from that, and even more scared that that'll be me someday. :scared:

[RumpusCat]

54. Not open casket, but I saw my grandmother's body

She died in our house, naturally, under hospice care. We knew it was coming and the whole family had gathered in our house. She took her last breath with my little brother holding her hand, and we all got to visit with her body for a while before the funeral home came to pick her up. It wasn't strange to see her dead, but she was so noticably different... it really is like the person inside is 'gone.'

It was pretty theraputic really, especially for my brother. He was only 14 and she was his best friend, but I think it helped him to know that she was gone and that dying wasn't necessarily a frightening or violent thing.

She didn't have an open casket funeral--she was cremated. My grandmother was a little vain and I think she would've critiqued anything the mortician would've done anyway, lol.

[Missy Vixen]

57. Been there, done that

My first encounter with an open casket was my great uncle Al's. I must have been about 12. I don't think my mother even knew what to say to my sisters and I before the funeral; I was heartbroken because he didn't look like Uncle Al.

To this day, I sit in the back, I slip out, I don't make a scene, but I will not look at the body. I know they're dead. I don't need the "closure".

Julie

[ccjlld]

58. When my paternal Grandmother died

they had an open casket viewing but a closed casket funeral. Same with my maternal Grandmother. It was different with her, as I was with her and holding her hand when she passed so for some reason I wasn't as hesitant to view her or touch her in her casket.

I don't know how prevalent it is in other areas, but the thing I don't understand and never will is people taking pictures of the body in the casket. It seems to happen a lot here. I don't know why you would want a picture of your loved one in a casket.

[redwitch]

60. I don't get that either.

But the tradition of photographing the deceased goes back to the beginnings of photography.

Edited to say if anyone photographs my corpse I will haunt them. :-)
Yes, I am that vain.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

61. A heart LOL to that, glad I wasn't drinking milk/soda....

[cmf]

68. Open casket viewings are normal where I am from

First off, I am sorry about your friend. :hug:

Anyway, I have gone to open casket viewings of dead family members since I was young, so it doesn't gross me out. Even when it was my mother's viewing, it didn't weird me out. It provides a sense of closure and seeing her dead body didn't negate all of the wonderful memories I have of her alive. I think having a viewing of the body is helpful in that it forces you to deal with your grief, rather than lingering in the denial phase for too long.

[Floogeldy]

69. My parents came from large families.

I've seen dead people in caskets since my youth. No big deal. Cops, firemen and EMT personnel see dead people all of the time.

People die. Doctors and nurses see it every fucking day. Medical students cut them up to learn.

Come to think of it, I see dead people.

[Whoa_Nelly]

76. Wow! You, too?

[Floogeldy]

77. Yes and there you have it!

Ha ha! ;)

[GrumpyGreg]

70. he first casket viewing I went to was my father--I was 5 years old.

It was many,many years ago and I still remember it.

[babylonsister]

71. To me, wakes are brutal. When I die, please, why should

anyone want to see anyone dead?
I went to a week last week; the man was in his 70s, but died of brain cancer.
He didn't look bad, but why even go through that? The reason was because his
wife is religious, and he wouldn't/didn't care.

[TK421]

72. I understand why viewings are comforting to some people, but when it's

my time...there will only be ashes. Viewings to me seem very morbid. I would prefer to remember the person the way they were, not lying in some box. Every viewing I've been to left me with this impression

[Flying Dream Blues]

73. I understand the difficulty and I think it's difficult, too, but

it provides me with sense that because they're obviously "gone" from their body, they must be somewhere. Energy cannot be destroyed, only transformed. So for me, it is a way of acknowledging that they still exist, even though they can't be seen, and that's very comforting to me.

[Beausoir]

74. I grew up with this custom. There is no shame in death.

We understand death.

We can handle looking at our loved ones once they are at peace.

There is nothing frightening about a dead body.

Some cultures make a burying box. They decorate the box with flowers, photos, scraps of fabric, whatever. The deceased person is not embalmed but still laid in that box so all friends, loved ones, neighbors can come to visit their friend one last time.

There is no shame in death.

[Floogeldy]

80. Well said.

:)

[babylonsister]

81. There are also cultures that do the funeral pyre; that's

the way I want to go.