Oh terrific. I found out who my commencement speaker will be.

[Fenris]

http://www.txstate.edu/academicaffairs/commencement/Cornyn-06.htm

:cry:

What have I done to offend God (recently)? That he should send me such misfortune?

[maxsolomon]

1. the first 5 letters of the answer are t-e-x-a-s

high thee hence

[flamingyouth]

2. Maybe your family won't want to come now.

Maybe you won't have to go through the ceremony.

I really do not want to sit through a speech by that fuckwit. :cry:

[Fenris]

3. I need an iPod.

:cry:

[flamingyouth]

6. What, is that your reward for going through commencement?

:D

[Fenris]

9. No, that's what I'll need to get through it.

x(

[flamingyouth]

13. You shold stage a walkout!

As soon as he comes on stage, stand up and leave. C'mon, all the cool kids are doing it. ;)

[Fenris]

20. That would certainly stick it to them for hosting him.

What was Phil Gramm booked?

[flamingyouth]

22. And Gov. Goodhair?

:D

[miss_american_pie]

4. Mine was Santorum

Good luck

[Fenris]

5. Okay that's worse.

Much, much worse.

[miss_american_pie]

10. He started his speech

with a little anecdote about how his colleagues all told him to be brief because no one was there to hear him, but that since his SIL was receiving her degree his in-laws were there and wanted to hear him.

:puke:

[Fenris]

15. I assume the speech clocked in at about 4 hours.

During the course of which he brought up man-on-dog sex and aborted foeti.

[miss_american_pie]

17. Were you there?

;)

[Fenris]

19. Heh heh heh.

;)

[BikeWriter]

7. Oh, shit...

[prolesunited]

8. What do you have against family values?

You must hate America!

[Fenris]

11. Indeed I do.

It is a secret I have long kept to myself. I hate America. :cry:

[Rabrrrrrr]

12. Why do schools bring in obviously partisan assholes to speak?

The school admins must know that not everyone likes that asshole.

Get someone neutral, or at least someone who isn't a propaganda blow boy.

But then, I'm sure the admin are all republican fuckwits and got this asshole specifically because all he's gonna talk about is what a great guy and hero Fuckstick is, and how the democrats are ruining the country, and how every one of you graduates has a chance to change the world for the better if you'd just accept Jesus into your hearts (I'll be having an altar call after the speech ends) and join the republican party.

It's not going to be a commencement speech, it's gonna be a Goebbels-ian propaganda barrage.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

30. I've got one word for you: money.

Senators, such as Mr. Cornyn, help get them federal funding. It's that simple, especially in a state where there's not likely to ever be a challenger for him.

[NoPasaran]

36. Give Texas Dems a little credit

Cornyn had an opponent when he was elected in 2002 and I'm sure he'll have one in 2008.

[EstimatedProphet]

14. Look at it this way: you get to protest your own commencement!

[Fenris]

18. Yeah, I think I'm going to forward this to my parents.

No way they're gonna want to sit through that asshole's ravings. Maybe I'll get out of it!:think:

[Radical Activist]

38. Think of it as an opportunity.

Just find a sticker or button from his last opponent or some kind of Democratic paraphernalia to wear during commencement.

[Reverend_Smitty]

16. The last two commencement speakers at my school were

Congressman Rob Andrews in 2004 and Congressman Rob Menendez in 2005 both are good Democrats so I will be pissed if it is a Republican this year when I graduate

[XNASA]

21. If'n I was you'n........I'd commence to get the fuck outta there.

[Fenris]

25. I'm considering it.

[LynneSin]

23. Turn your back when he speaks and get others to do so

Show him that he does not speak for all Texans!

And bring a big sign in "Box Turtle Love for Everyone!!"

[terrya]

24. Ewwwwww....Senator Box Turtle!

That's disgusting, Fenris. Imagine having to put up with that asshole at your comencement.....

[Fenris]

27. Yeah.

I hope my parents aren't expecting to see me walk, cause I can't take that.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

26. "A Voice for Texas Values"

Considering the values of late, he might want to change his slogan...
You could always wear your mortarboard upside down in protest. :beer:

[Fenris]

28. Maybe I'll take a nap and snore loudly.

:D

[GoddessOfGuinness]

31. Your snoring will prove more

poignant than his address, I'm sure.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

29. Sorry.

I'm a graduate from Texas as well, but my speaker was this guy:



Nice guy, BTW.

[tigereye]

32. yikes

it could be Mitch McConnell, though. I know that's small comfort.

mebbe it's petition time. Or get Molly Ivins to write an article for ya.

[WolverineDG]

33. he gave the commencement address

at my law school when i graduated. i was pleased (at the time) because he was an alum of the school, was on the supreme court, etc. BUT, little did i know, he had it in for the dean at the time (she was a liberal, wouldn't ya know?), so he gave the most awful, downer speech. i couldn't believe what a crap speech he gave to graduates (like me) who worked their asses off to graduate JUST BECAUSE OF POLITICS!! what really made me mad was that my dad was present. he was very ill at the time & this would be his last trip to his hometown of san antonio. :grr:

sorry that he's going to ruin your commencement as well. might i suggest that you get some like-minded friends & have your cell phones go off LOUDLY during the speech? :evilgrin:

i seem to recall a commencement address in PA that Santorum gave & the grads all had their phones ring, & they carried on conversations over him.

dg

[flamingyouth]

34. I'll be there

And suddenly, you've given me new hope. :D

[Dangerously Amused]

42. That (cell phones going off) is F'ing hilarious!!

How evil. I love it!

Hey, get the cell numbers of all your (willing) friends and their family members, and post them here for our reference during the address. I'm sure there are lots of people here who would be happy to help our fellow Dems through a difficult situation with phone counseling. :evilgrin:



PS - Molly Ivins was our graduation speaker. :7

[Heddi]

35. Ooh! You should see if

Morrissey is available as a stand-in :)

"Beligerent ghouls run <<texas state>> schools..." ha ha

[Maddy McCall]

37. Don't feel bad. Mine for my MA was Haley Fecking Barbour.

Porkboy did nothing but use it as a soapbox for his gubernatorial campaign. I loudly signed through the whole thing.

[GOPisEvil]

39. I say bring a stuffed turtle.

:puke: Gads, he sucks...

[Fenris]

45. I should molest it whilst he speaks!

:D

[GOPisEvil]

46. You'd get your name in the paper!

Good times! :D

[Redstone]

40. Bail out. Now, while you still can.

Redstone

[bigwillq]

41. Oh jeez.

My apologies in advance.

[greatauntoftriplets]

43. You poor thing. I can sympathize.

Mine was Senator Margaret Chase Smith...Repuke Senator from Maine...strong supporter and defender of the Vietnam war...class of 1971...about a year after the Cambodian "incursion". My parents were pissed as well. Oh, be prepared for a defense of the "War on Terra"...we were subjected to a defense of the War in Vietnam and its justification. Can you somehow avoid attending?

[Fenris]

44. Yeah, I could just not go.

My brother didn't go to the ceremony. I don't see why my parents would want to go to this one. x(

[greatauntoftriplets]

47. My parents would have killed me had I not gone....

even though they objected strenuously to the speaker. And it was about 100 degrees that day. In Chicago. In mid-June. 17th to be exact. Northwestern (at least at that time, not sure now) had late graduation.

[Floogeldy]

48. Start practicing and repeat after me . . .

. . . BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO! BOO!