Have you been abused at work?

[caty]

http://www.globalethics.org/newsline/members/pastissue2.tmpl?issueid=1/23/2006#01230623414390

"A surprising study from a Canadian university found that nearly half of workers in the United States say they are victims of psychological -- and occasionally physical -- workplace aggression, with the general public being the source of most of that abuse."

I've never really been abused by employers. But, working with the public, I have been yelled at by customers when I managed a video store. They would try to insist their movies were returned on time, even though they had a receipt showing that it was late. Or, that they never rented an unreturned movie, even though we had a signed receipt showing that they did.

[tjwmason]

1. No.

It's why I don't ever want to work in a job with contact with the general public.

[caty]

2. Smart thinking!!

:think:

[Dangerously Amused]

3. Yes. I reported my boss for violence in the workplace.

For breaking things, throwing things, punching things, kicking things, yelling at us and referring to his subordinates as "you fuckers," etc.

He got suspended for 30 days (worked for the State) and dropped out of the next election when the challenger (a subordinate) threatened to make it all public.



On edit: The violent asshole boss was a Republican. Just sayin'.

[raccoon]

9. I'm glad you did. Nobody should have to put up with that crap.

This sort of thing especially pisses me off when the person is working for the state, county, whatever, and is paid by taxpayers. If he/she had his own business it would be bad enough, but no way should a dip like this be paid by taxpayers.

Google "workplace bullying" and you'll find all kinds of stuff about work abuse.

[Dangerously Amused]

15. Thanks. I'm glad I did it too, and I'd do it again.

This crap had been going on for years, and the all-female support staff (fifteen primarily middle aged women) were terrified of him. So terrified they were afraid to report him. I finally said fine, I'll report him then.

This is the same county, mind you, where a judge got arrested for physically assaulting a woman in a divorce hearing because he "didn't like her attitude."

[no name no slogan]

21. he was a politcal appointee

not civil service/merit-based? Because I know a lot of people like that who work in government.

[Dangerously Amused]

22. No, he was elected.

He ran years ago when his predecessor left office and he won, and then ran unopposed all the years after that.

His outbursts were a very well kept secret.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. The manager at hair salon I was a stylist at (JCPenneys) used to

play horrendous mind games on us. I was a single mom at the time and when I hired in, I asked for one weekend day off or early hours so that I could spend time with my daughter (who was 3 at the time)...her response was to give me a schedule that consisted of Fridayj 11-9, Saturday 11-9, and Sunday 9:30-6 (which were three closing shifts)...Anytime I would ask for a weekend off, I'd be denied. I was a top producer, top product seller...and still got shit like,"Boy, it just really appears that you are ungrateful for this job" kind of crap all of the time. :(

[skygazer]

5. I've been verbally assaulted by customers

And I've seen people physically assaulted by customers. Working with the public can be an interesting career. I've had people yell at me, call me names, tell me I'm stupid, etc. One woman I worked with was spit on by a customer, another guy was physically attacked in the checkstand when he refused to sell an obviously drunk guy some beer (he ducked the punch and laid the guy out - the whole store applauded).

[nini]

6. I used to work for the US Postal Service

so, the answer is a big YES on the mind game stuff.

I do not miss that place.

[Left_Winger]

7. Yes!

My former boss screamed (or shall we say... had a little temper tantrum) at me because my religious beliefs were not compatible with his. I watched this fundy go off on me for about thirty minutes (there was even spit flying from his mouth) before I asked him, "Have you ever been sued? We are employed by the state and what you are doing is in violation of the law." Then I pointed out the EEO policy which was posted (as per state law) on the wall of his office.

Let's just make a long story short here: This guy was the subject of an editorial in one of the leading local newspapers (subject: religious zealotry and intolerance by a public official) and the end result was that he was fired.

[caty]

8. It's great when

we can hold our tongue while someone just keeps digging that hole deeper and deeper. Then zap them with the zinger that proves your case. Good going!:applause:

[raccoon]

10. I'm glad the SOB was fired. nt

[texas1928]

11. I had a higher up kick me in the ribs one night.

I had 5 bruised ribs from it. that was fun.

[raccoon]

52. I hope you reported the POS. What sort of workplace was this?

I mean, what did you do?

[texas1928]

61. It was at Target.

I let it go, I knew he was in a bad mood. And I was not going to get him fired, he needed the job. But he should not have been playing around with me, and then got mad when I got him back. We talked about it later in the week when I came back to work, and he apologized. I was cool with it.

[Blue_In_AK]

12. Not lately

(I work at home), but in 1968 when I was 21 I worked for an overweight, slimy 40+ year old oil geologist in Denver who used to come up behind me and try to kiss me on my neck all the time, and on a few occasions I actually had to move around my desk to keep him away from me. This was pre-sexual harassment laws. I could have been a millionaire ...

[kwassa]

13. I had a boss with a borderline personality

and I also worked with the public. The public was easy, my boss was the problem.

It was the only time in my life when I walked away from a job that I needed. It was one of my better decisions.

[BlueIris]

46. It really is better to get the hell away from abusive employers.

If I'd known then what I know now about how much remaining in an abusive situation for two + years would mess with my mental health--NO WAY. It's just as damaging as any other abusive situation.

[Arger68]

14. Many times verbally

from 3 different employers. One wanted to fight me when I walked off the job. I LOVE being self employed!!!

[politicat]

16. Worked for a guy that was pirating software.

I reported him. He was psychologically abusive as well.

I've worked several places where mind games were the order of the day. There's a reason I'm freelance now.

[jane_pippin]

17. I dunno, there's a mouse in my office, haven't heard from my boss in days

and the janitor can't seem to work the zipper on his pants.

It's like this pretty much every day. Sometimes worse. Ok, often times worse.

Does that count?

[Texasgal]

18. While I was in college

I was a cocktail waitress at a fancy hotel in Dallas. The food and beverage manager was a complete drunk and would come in the lobby bar with all his friends after being out at the titty bar. He was a mean drunk and insisted that I "pull up my skirt" or "open my blouse" and then would laugh and belittle me when I refused.

One night during one of his drunken incidents I cut him off, stating TABC rules of serving an intoxicated person. He told me I was fired.

The next day I had a meeting with the GM of the hotel and Mr. Food and Bev was escorted out the door.

[MindPilot]

19. Many, many times. Customer pulled a gun on me once.

Twenty years in a car dealer service department.

Abuse from bosses and co-workers; I got fired once for being gay--I'm not. One co-worker I had would do any sort of irritating thing he could, flash bright lights at me, cut off my air supply when I was in the middle of something, pour solvent in my coffee cup, anything to make noise, raise my hoist just as I was pulling in or out, (yes cars got damaged) lock the keys in a car I was working on. Another guy liked to honk the horn while I was looking under the hood; yeah real funny asshole, now I need stitches. This guy once started banging on the bed of a flatbed wrecker just as I was underneath with my hands in the lift mechanism, almost crushed my hand because of that. I came out from under that vehicle with a crowbar and went after the guy. And guess who got in trouble? Wasn't him. I could write a book.

Co-workers and bosses are nothing compared to customers. Been in several physical altercations with customers, that they either started with me or I went to the aid of someone else being threatened. There is something about a broken car that turns people into flaming assholes.

I'm so grateful I have a job now with no public contact.

[Oeditpus Rex]

20. Verbal assault was common

Somebody doesn't like a story — for political reasons or it makes them look bad (even though it's factual) or whatever — they threaten you with all kinds of stuff. Crime reporters get the worst of it; thank god I wasn't one.

I was once threatened with physical violence because I left the name of a survivor out of an obit.

[Patiod]

23. Got fired for not sleeping with my boss, years ago

His wife caught him in flagrante with my replacement, and she took him to the cleaners (all their money was her family money). He had married and had 2 kids with Replacement, and all seemed well until she caught him with someone. So he's on wife #4 now, although I don't think he trolled this one at work.

Plus he's in big trouble with the NASD, and likely to lose his securities license, so bascially Karma has done its work.

But haven't been abused recently, no.

[caty]

24. What I don't get is why

someone would marry anyone who has been married more that twice. Don't they see a pattern there?

[Patiod]

25. Wouldn't you assume you would get the same treatment?

I can even see someone who has been married twice, but when adultery is involved, why would you think you would be treated any differenet?

[caty]

28. I know----I don't get it.

[ContraBass Black]

45. They think that their virtue will reform the other person.

I poorly chose a girlfriend once.

[raccoon]

54. Maybe the person who's been married multiple times has lots

of money? Or great earning power?

[Flaxbee]

26. before my time, but a partner at one of the law firms

I worked at had to be sent repeatedly to anger management classes. He was a top moneymaker, so they'd never get rid of him, but he supposedly would get up into the staff's faces and SCREAM abuse at them, like an inch from their noses. And he was so tightly wound and his desk was so scrupulously clean that we were all worried he'd burst open with suppressed rage one day.

[elehhhhna]

56. I had a client like that--he was a BRILLIANT attorney, known in his

specialty as the best in the world...but he couldn't keep a secretary or paralegal for more than 3 months, ever (and legal sec's & paralegals are pretty tough skinned).

I sent him only male employees, three month temp-to-hire assignments, and he finally put an excellent team together. It helps that I'd forewarned the candidates that he had a tendency to throw things (NEVER at people) and scream/swear in his office--again, not directly at the employees.

[grace0418]

27. Two jobs, from customers, two other jobs, from bosses.

God, how depressing.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

29. Several times in the past

One time was another employee who said "Do that again and I'll knock your fucking teeth out."
I had already changed into my work clothes (I was prepared to walk out) when the Sous chef for the kitchen found me and asked what was wrong.
He was fired.

Next time was several years later, where my co-worker was 1.5 hour late, then dithered around the kitchen for the next half hour.
I aksed him if he could ever get to work. He picked up a knife, pointed the end at me, and made a slashing motion at his throat with
his other hand. He'd been verbally abusing several employees in the past, including me, and when I explained to management that I wouldn't put up with
his abuse anymore, they said "Ok. I think we'll accept your resignation."

The second employee was only fired several months later when he threatened the daughter of the banquet manager. A year later, I was talking with one of the cooks (I had
finally left the food industry for good, getting a good job an hour away.) who said that the kitchen manager received a ton of shit from nearly every employee for letting me go.
And he started lamenting letting me go only a week later.
I enjoyed a big helping of http://dictionary.reference.com/wordoftheday/archive/2000/05/10.html">schadenfreude that day. And it was delicious.

The kitchen manager engaed in "I don't give a shit" abuse. He knew things were messed up in the kitchen, and he took great delight in the frustration of the few
employees who actually cared and wanted to make that kitchen a good place to work.

But in the two plus years since I left that place? No. Not at all.

[caty]

30. You could have had the guy

with the knife arrested for assault. Assault is the threat of violence. Battery is the actual harm.

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

31. Believe me, I brought this up with management...

but management said that since he was over ten feet away and on the other side of the prep line,
there was no threat. It was just "so and so foolin' around again".

I should have called the police.

Once in a while I stop by the restaurant where I used to work and visit with my friends. Usually I
ask in a loud voice if anyone's heard from that bag of shit who used to work here. The kitchen
manager always ducks out of the room at that point.

In retrospect, it wouldn't have mattered anyway. Seven months later, I get a call from a friend who has a
line on a potential new job, and if I could come down for an inteview the very next day. I did, and nailed the job.
It was a temporary position from March until they got tired of me, or wanted me on a permanent basis.
They chose the permanent addition.

If I had been working at that kitchen, I probably would have quit there and then. The new job was only a "temp" contract
job, but it paid twice what I was making at the time, and it was in my field. (Writing/Graphic Design/Instructional Design).

But yes, I figured I could have had the guy arrested. I should have.

[caty]

36. I'm glad everything worked out the best for you.

:hug:

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

38. Thanks! I am, too.

Good job, no weekends. No food smell.
I enjoy cooking at home again. And I get to write for a living. How cool is that?

[caty]

41. Pretty cool!

:applause:

[bertha katzenengel]

32. Yep. But mine was probably pretty mild compared to some.

I have just had to take large helpings of shit from A-type personalities. :puke:

Very hard for someone with a tender heart to take.

[Scout1071]

33. Absolutely. By the po-po.

When I was 16-18 years old I worked in a large local mall as a secretary. My senior year of high school I got out of school at 11 AM and worked full-time from 12-9.

Anyway, I was a dispatcher for the off-duty police who worked security. They would often come by for hours on end to drink coffee and waste time on-duty. Then they slowly began to try to discuss my sex life with me, asking me all kinds of personal questions and just generally being inappropriate. This was before or about the time of Anita Hill and sexual harrassment was not the issue that it is today. Nonetheless, the older I get and the more I reflect on those days the more disgusted I become with their behavior. 30 and 40 something year old men prying and trying to discuss a 17 year old's sex life? I believe a few of them even bought booze for me after work to party with my friends.

But the kicker comes one evening when I was closing up the office. I left after the mall closed and most of the workers in the other stores had already left for the night. Because all of the main doors were locked, I had to exit via a long, dark service hallway. So I'm walking down the hallway by myself when a side door flies open and two large men physically pull me into a room, totally manhandle me into a submissive position with handcuffs then locked me to a desk. Taunted me for a few minutes, turned out the lights and left me in there for the longest 5-10 minutes of my life. Uncomfortable, scared, kneeling on the ground and handcuffed in a very awkward way to a desk. They returned and uncuffed me and just laughed and laughed and laughed.

Hilarious I tell you. Simply hilarious.

[caty]

37. OMG

Did you tell anyone?

[Scout1071]

40. Only close friends. Never a parent or co-worker.

I was really scared. I had seen these guys in action - and I'm not just talking about that night. I'd like to think that I would act differently today and sue the shit out of them, but I just don't know. That was probably the most frightened I've ever been in my life.

PS - They twisted one of my arms behind my back and used a pinch hold on my shoulder and in between my thumb and forefinger to get me to my knees.

[caty]

42. >>

:hug:

[Beausoir]

34. Co-worker showed me his anus in the bank vault.

How's that?

The guy was hyper-competitive. We both held the same entry level position. I got a promotion and it pissed him off so he started messing with me. Over a period of several months.

One morning, just he and I in the bank, we were in the small vault and he pulled his pants down and spread his buttocks and bent over to show me.

I just about barfed. But really..it was so shocking I had no idea how to react.

I finally told my supervisor about 3 weeks later. He was fired and I was completely ostracized from the other employees. Seems they all really liked this guy. "You just have to know him! He does stuff like that all the time!" No one would speak to me anymore. The Branch Manager was FURIOUS with me for making a "scene" with the corporate bigwigs.

The whole episode left a stain on my psyche. I still feel upset and badly about it.
That was about 10 years ago.

[caty]

39. "He does stuff like that all the time"?

That's a reason to like someone.:sarcasm:

[BlueIris]

44. AAAUUUUGGGHHH. That's one of the most horrible stories I've ever read.

Especially this part: "Seems they all really liked this guy."

WTF?

That is INSANE.

[smirkymonkey]

48. Most workplaces are filled with fucked up, dysfunctional people.

Kind, easygoing people are always in the minority. If you are a member of the latter, it can really fuck with your head because its always the biggest assholes who have the most power and seemingly the most revered. I would kill to be able to make a living working by myself.

[raccoon]

55. Amen, or Ramen, to all you said!

"its always the biggest assholes who have the most power and seemingly the most revered. "

My experience, once in a GREAT while a decent person has power and is revered.

But not often. Most of the time it's the way you said.

[manxome]

65. I second that rAmen

I have to say, that most of the crap I've had to endure has been from co-workers and management. I can only truly name one decent, talented manager. I don't ever remember having a problem with customers or clients.

I take pride in my work, no matter what kind of work it is. I've had clients and customers thank me in a genuine way, and it has meant more than any BS review I ever got. I even had one go off on the owners after they found out I quit.

In the workplace, though, I've been:
- paid less than the male hired at the same time as me and doing the same job as me
- when I pointed out I was overpaid one week, the owners wife tried to take more out than the overpaid amount
- fired for not being available to work the previous week, when I was pre-approved time off that week for a vacation
- after going by certain guidelines for years, salesperson and owner tried to say those guidelines never existed so they could blame me instead of themselves for a client's unhappiness. To my face.
- having my hours reduced, when the manager said she needed more hours in my area, out of what I can only figure was jealousy because customers and salespeople kept requesting me over her more and more, lest they get a crap product.
- being trapped in my office for almost an hour with a strange man who was drunk, complaining about his horrible father, and showing me wounds from his most recent suicide attempt. All I could do was try not to upset him (he didn't want me to leave and I could not phone without being obvious). Found out this was the owner's son, who happened to be just around the corner ouside my office the whole time.
- unsafe workplace practice caused me to be hospitalized
- supervisors forgetting to tell me about mandatory, need to know stuff all the time
- being verbally abused by a co-worker, while the entire room just looks on because, you know, he does it all the time
- general backstabbing, cattiness, sabotage, middle-school harassment going on all over the place, and as above posters said, these are the ones most favored in the company. (This was worst, by far, when I worked in a newsroom)

The part I love is that within a year after leaving the first three jobs, the companies went out of business.

Biggest problem? Managers don't know how to manage. Second biggest: owners who hire family members.

Nothing as bad as my parents had to deal with. Mom was robbed at gunpoint. Dad discovered an owner's skimming off the top, along with destroying partner's careers before the next quarterly numbers came in, then had the same happen to him when they got paranoid, got stuck with huge lawyer and medical bills, had to sell the house and cash out retirement, and then when he got a partnership somewhere else got screwed all over again.

[CBHagman]

60. I think you have something there.

I've worked at least three places where people with very serious problems -- addictions, for example, or unpredictable rages -- were tolerated because they were "good" employees. Usually there was something they brought to the workplace, such as a particular expertise, but they were also very disruptive in their own ways.

Unfortunately, in at least two cases, the unhealthy habits of the employees resulted in their deaths. In various other cases, the troubled employees eventually went too far and got fired. However, in many cases they last for years and gain considerable power.

[Ivan Sputnik]

35. Verbally, yes

I had a boss once who had all the classic symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She was quite nasty to me and others, and would publicly humiliate people in meetings. I eventually lost that job, which was actually a relief.

[BlueIris]

43. Yep. Still not really recovered, either. Yes, I'm in therapy.

It's nice that we continue to have threads about this at DU.

[caty]

47. I got shot at twice

at my last job. I quit a couple of months later and haven't worked since. I just can't work with the public anymore. I know first hand how a bad experience or dangerous experience can affect your future in the work place.

[Scout1071]

49. Are you kidding me? What did you do for a living?

Damn man. You OK now? Physically anyway?

:hug:

[caty]

50. I was working at the

front desk of a bowling ally. We were open until 2am and we had open bowling until then. A group of people finished up their bowling and were walking out, when one of them pulled out a gun and fired 2 shots back into the front door. One of the bullets missed by head by 1 foot. They never caught who did it, but the rumor was that it was an off duty police officer from a neighboring city. He was drunk.
I started have panic attacks at work after that. I hung in there for awhile, but finally, put in my notice and quit. This happened on a week night. We had security on the week-ends, but not the other nights. We were sitting ducks---especially when being open so late.

[Scout1071]

51. Wow.

That's all I have to say.

[El Fuego]

53. YES. I used to work at a brutal law firm.

[dryan]

57. You guys have never worked with....

artists.

[ChoralScholar]

58. I teach Jr. High. I don't think I have to elaborate. EOM

[CBHagman]

59. Repeated abuse.

Fortunately, it's only rarely that I've had to deal with abusive customers, and even in those cases, the abuse was pretty minor (a little cussing, attempts at intimidation).

At my current job, I have to deal with occasional overt hostility, both political and social, from higher-ups. Granted, most of the higher-ups aren't like that, but two in particular have been pretty vicious to me. One even told me I was in favor of terrorist attacks.

Yes, I have been looking for a new job for some time now.

[BelleCarolinaPeridot]

62. Oh yeah !

My co-workers and I were harassed by our supervisor . We took it to the top and reported her behind close doors . She did'nt like what we did but you know what , oh well . You don't abuse your power .

[Warpy]

63. I've generally been shunted into management pretty quickly

when I've been desperate enough to take retail jobs. I then kept my eye on what was going on and mastered the technique of the drop kick: politely ejecting any customer who was abusing the help or (gawd forbid) other shoppers. I got really good at it.

Alas, I was not shunted into management when I went into nursing, and abuse happens daily to nurses from frantic and guilty family members, disoriented patients, and sometimes doctors and other staff. It totally sucks and there is nothing you can do about it, whether or not you write the offender up. They really needed to tell us in nusting school that withstanding daily harassment, abuse, and occasionally assault were all part of the job.

I think the problem of general workplace abuse is especially bad now because the unemployment rate is so much higher than the liars in Washington are letting on, and employers and managers know it. We're now a dime a dozen, no matter what our skills are, and can be replaced in an instant if we stand up for ourselves.

It's just another reason to want the GOP and DLC out of power and never, ever let them back.

[caty]

64. I think that making workers

"a dime a dozen" is what the GOP had in mind all along. Less money for the workers so more money goes into the pockets of the higher ups. In order for our economy to run smoothly, 20% of the population should have as much money as the other 80%. Now, 1% has as much money as the other 99%. That is obscene. In the 30's, it was 1%/99% and they called it a depression. Now it's called Bushenomics.

[Kathryn STone]

66. ho boy, I can add my name to this list read below pls

I went to work for an infomercial company named Wizetrade. At the time I held Series 7 and 63 licenses from when I worked in real brokerage.
The CFO who I worked ynder was the older alcoholic brother of the owner of the company, Jim Sparks. He carried two concealed handguns, kicked walls in and sexually harassed me and his other assistant. She didn't mind she was a hot bod and got cash from him like he gave her $500 for birthday cash, Movado watches, etc.
But if he needed us, he would put us on speaker phone and say, "when are you going to come over here and give me a lap dance?"
I wanted to quit so bad, but I wrote a slew of stuff on the legal pad I had and threw it away. They went in my trash and pulled it out and said "they couldn't trust me."
I filed with EEOC for sexual harrassment which they pursued. I didn't want to go to court so after attorney fees 40% and other costs, I got about $12, 000 out of it.
Beware Wizetrade. They are sleazy.