Landscaping question...

[Hugin]

Now that I've got a full bath worth of fixtures strewn about my
front yard what more do I add to capture the whole Americana Experience?

(True story... My sweetheart is going nuts about it, especially since we placed
the commode out there last weekend to re-tile.)

I pride myself on being able to bring the rural to the suburban.

[Dangerously Amused]

1. Robb is a dingbat.

:)

[skygazer]

2. An old washing machine

And if you've got a bathtub out there, why not put a Virgin Mary into it and make it a shrine?

[Hugin]

5. Ah! An old appliance!

Holy cripes... How did I forget!

*smacks self on head*

Thanks.

Thanks also for the bathtub suggestion. Beats turning it into a planter.

:thumbsup:

[Atlas Mugged]

11. Don't forget the "Flower Bed"

Take an old bedframe, you know, the kind that you see in old western bordellos. Stick it in the lawn and frame the sides with old lumber. Fill with dirt. Plant the interior to look like an Amish quilt.

[Hugin]

13. Cool.

Quality suggestion!

I don't have much of a green thumb. Don't suppose it matters though.

LOL!

:7

[Gormy Cuss]

19. Ah yes, the Mary on a Half Shell look... n/t

[Atlas Mugged]

3. Ye Olde Bathtub Madonna

This has always been my favorite. The original was an old style bathtub, sunk upright, halfway into the ground, paint the interior blue, and place a stature of the Virgin Mary therein. The best I've ever seen was a modern, fitted tub in avacado green done the same way. Either the house owners have an amazing sense of humor and are willing to sacrifice the appearance of their house for the sake of a visual joke - or they're idiots.

If you choose to go with the traditional Bathtub Madonna you can heighten the sense of hospitality by using a Madonna (concrete, plastic...who cares?) with the outstretched hands and hotgluing ashtrays onto her palms.

[Hugin]

8. Thanks for the suggestion!

This thread is an update to a post a couple of weeks ago announcing that
while taking a bath the bottom third of the wall tiles slid off the wall
into the tub.

I've only had the house two months and the so-called Home Inspectors missed
the damage entirely.

A Bathtub Madonna is a *MUST*!

[EstimatedProphet]

4. You need an old refrigerator on the porch.

[Hugin]

6. I'm way ahead of you!

I've got that already!

Mine works tho... Never know when I'm going to need a beer to break a
thirst during brush clearing!

[El Fuego]

7. Plastic pink lawn flamingos

[Hugin]

9. Yay! My favorite!

I love those flamingos!

[Atlas Mugged]

14. If you're going to do the flamingos...

...it's essential to also do the "Bag A Bug" Japanese beatle traps. The yellow of the traps is the perfect compliment to the pink of the flamingos.

Your new neighbors will welcome you with flaming torches and pitchforks!

[Hugin]

17. "welcome you with flaming torches and pitchforks!"

That already happened when they caught sight of my political bumper stickers. ;)

I'm off to shop for "Bag A Bug" beetle traps!

Wonderful!

[CottonBear]

60. Speaking of torches, you need about 5 or 6 tiki torches! n/t

[Hugin]

66. I'll add it to my list.

(Truth is I've got six of them.)

[leftofthedial]

10. you need an old couch on the front porch

you need old appliances (washing machine and refrigerator are standard) alongside the house

you need the old car on blocks, shade tree is optional

anything else is gilding the lily

[Hugin]

12. "gilding the lily"

Hahaha! I love that expression.

:7

[Atlas Mugged]

15. One word:

GNOME!

[Hugin]

16. Beautiful, man... Beautiful!

*tears welling up in eyes*

Reminds me of when a friend of mine and I made "Lawn Zombies".

My Dad was furious, because, he saw the clothes we had stuffed
with straw on the yard and though they were real bodies.

LOL!

[madrchsod]

18. only if the car is a

camaro or firebird. no other cars count. bush in the bathtub would look nice.

[Hugin]

22. camaro or firebird?

Oh, I'll see if I can dredge up one.

:thumbsup:

[radwriter0555]

20. Um, er you missed the FUKCING LAWN GNOMES! What in hell is wrong

with you?

My gawd man, you forgot LAWN GNOMES?

You don't deserve to own a home to landscape.

Shame.

Shame.

The Gnomes won't soon forget, either.

[Hugin]

21. *hangs head in shame*

I do have the coffee table book... Is there a reprieve?

[radwriter0555]

29. NO! NO Gnomes for YOU!

Look at them! They HATE you now...

It's your own fault.

[Hugin]

31. Problem solved!

I'll get a Gnomad!

( http://www.gnomads.net/ )

Psst... You don't *want* to know how I read the word "Gnomad!"

[RubyDuby in GA]

35. No! No! No! Not those gnomes, this gnome:

Give the neighborhood dogs something to aim for :)

[RetroLounge]

23. I vote for ther auto on blocks

I have the shell of a 58 Olds wagon in my garage.

Pick it up and it's yours for free...

RL

[Hugin]

25. LOL!

Thanks for the offer.

[RetroLounge]

26. It's big enough for a kids playhouse,

an extra bedroom, or a hell of a planter...

RL

[Hugin]

28. "extra bedroom"

Ah! I hadn't considered the addition angle. ;)

:thumbsup:

[RetroLounge]

33. Got windows, egress doors, and closet space...

Room for bunk beds too :D

RL

[Dora]

24. How about that "compost pile"?

In other words, leaves you've allowed to collect for the past three autumns... long enough to create their own dune forms.

[Hugin]

27. Good suggestion...

However, my leaves tend to blow into other yards already.

I guess I could go and get some back.

[amitten]

30. I really do like pie. n/t

[Hugin]

32. So do I.

;)

[XemaSab]

34. A giant eroded gully

filled with every car, appliance, mattress, fixture, and piece of furniture you've ever owned.

[Gold Metal Flake]

36. I think you have something there.

To balance that, there should be a large pile of raw kitchen garbage within an arms throw of the back door.

[XemaSab]

37. To add some balance to the design?

:shrug:

[Gold Metal Flake]

59. Yes.

Hard garbage in the front, organic garbage in the back, several broken big wheels sprinkled around for garnish. You like?

[Hugin]

64. Especially the part about the big wheels.

They sure don't build them to last like they used to.

[XemaSab]

65. You should go pro with design sense like that!

:applause:

[Hugin]

39. I've got that brewing up Eco-Diesel.

Why waste perfectly good methane?

[Hugin]

38. You've just described my attic.

I guess I could rotate my "collection" for the viewing pleasure of others.

[XemaSab]

42. You've got every car you've ever owned in your attic?

:wow:

[Hugin]

45. Parts of 'em...

I usually re-use old cars by selling them to someone else.

[XemaSab]

51. Missing parts???

Uh, remind me never to buy a car from you....

:hide:

[Hugin]

57. It's only trim pieces... You know like seats, hubcaps,...

Steering wheels, engine blocks... You know, the kind of stuff the
dealer charges extra for. ;)

[CottonBear]

50. A healthy stand of Kudzu would be the perfect landscaping for the gully.

The Kudzu will sort of screen the junk in the gully during the spring and summer when it has leaves. I can send you some from Georgia. We've got lots. ;)

[Hugin]

55. Cool! Yeah, Kudzu will be a lovely addition.

The fact it doesn't require much care is also a plus!

:thumbsup:

[CottonBear]

58. You could stake a goat out near the Kudzu patch so that it won't spread

all over the yard. ;)

[Hugin]

67. Charming!

I'd feel right at home then... NO PIGS!

[XemaSab]

69. Or out west a THICKET of poison oak

I have seen poison oak TREES! :scared:

[Hugin]

71. LOL! Could I circle each with bird skulls?

:rofl:

[XemaSab]

74. I wouldn't know

It's not like I actually own any bird skulls, or anything.

:hide:

[KitchenWitch]

40. THJ = Trailer Hitch Jesus?

[Hugin]

41. You betcha!

I have the tee-shirt around somewhere.



:headbang:

[underpants]

43. GAZING .... .... .... BALLS

[CottonBear]

44. I love those! Very Victorian! n/t

[Hugin]

47. Ah, yes...

But, that has given me an idea for an entirely *new* product...

The Gazing Gnomad! (Pat. Pending, 2006, Test Monkey, Inc., All Rights Reserved)

[underpants]

49. I'm not sure if they are lawn ornaments

but they sure are fun

[CottonBear]

52. OMG!

:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)
:rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :) :rofl: :)

[underpants]

56. One of my best friends actually had one

Didn't make it through Hurrican Isabella

[Hugin]

62. A crying shame!

To lose art and culture to a hurricane!

Aaaah! THE HUMANITY! x(

*wail*

[Hugin]

53. PERFECT!

Bag 'em up I'll take a dozen!

:woohoo:

[underpants]

61. $17 HoBo Clown Cactus planter

http://streamers.com/bisque/wedding/Bwedxr1.htm

[Hugin]

68. Should I be disturbed you found those on a wedding supply website?

:scared:

[underpants]

70. OOOH with music too!

Groovin' organ music

[Hugin]

72. Organ music...

AH-HAHAHAHA! Yer killin' me!

:rofl:

[progmom]

54. ha!

[CottonBear]

46. Whitewash the trunks of your trees to about a height of four feet

and then add some flower planters made from old whitewashed tractor tires. You could add colorful platic flowers to the tires for a final touch! ;)

[Hugin]

48. Consider it done!

:thumbsup:

[Bridget Burke]

73. Paint the tires pink for a more coordinated look.

Consider the flamingos. But plastic flowers are a must.

[SteppingRazor]

63. Two words: GARDEN GNOME! n/t