CONFESS! If I was an NSA spy tapping your phone what secrets would I learn

[LynneSin]

I mean, we're all probably being tapped so you might as well spill the juicy gossip right here, right now

[Hugin]

1. Well, I guess they'd learn I'm talking about bathroom fixtures.

LOL! A PUN! I have a *leak*... Get it! LOL!

Uh... heh

I guess you had to be there.

:yoiks:

[LynneSin]

Sweetie I adore you but don't quit your daytime job

The Standup Comedy routine ain't getting you anywhere!

[LynneSin]

2. Delete

dupe

[Hugin]

10. Seriously, though...

Tapping phones and listening in to snippets of conversation is likely to
cause lots of out-of-context assumptions. Similar to only hearing the punchline
of a joke.

Maybe it's time for a "Let's Play Telephone" thread?

[Lochloosa]

3. I would have to know you a lot better

to answer that question.}(

[LynneSin]

4. I'm tapping your phone anyways so isn't knowing you a moot point

:shrug:

[ET Awful]

5. That I don't talk on the phone very often, and when I do it's usually

my mom or someone who wants money from me :P

[LynneSin]

6. We aren't worried about you - it's your MOM we're after

She's one crafty lady!

[Call Me Wesley]

7. That, one the main phone we have,

you'd hear at least three different languages being spoken. I think it's a code. I'd call Agent Mike ASAP. ;)

[StaggerLee]

8. The only calls I get are from telemarketers

Yep I'm on the no call list but I get them from orgs that I've donated to in the past or from my financial institutions. I'm too lazy to tell them to take me off their list.

So I always tell them that "staggerlee" isn't home. He's on vacation. He's away on business... And so on.

I only use my phone for lying. But no one dies over my lies so there.

[Saphire]

9. they would learn my teenage daughter can talk for hours and hours and...

[RetroLounge]

11. That I have a sexy voice...

At least that's what RevCheeseHead told me... :D

Oh, and they would know all about Oostberg... :loveya:

RL

[LynneSin]

12. And that you lure people into listening to Molly Hatchet

You're evil re-incarnate!

[AllegroRondo]

13. That my wife loves QVC.

[LynneSin]

14. Yes but what is she buying from QVC and are her purchases

aiding and abetting terrorism

:shrug:

[RevCheesehead]

15. All kinds of scandalous church gossip...

which nobody else on the face of the earth gives a shit about - except for right here, in the center of the Universe: Algoma, WI.

Oh, and lots of details about my mom's health.

Agent Mike - go ahead and listen, but I promise you, my life really IS that boring.

[China_cat]

16. That I don't answer the phone.

[In_The_Wind]

17. That all depends on which one of my phones you were tapping.

One line is all business. No gossip there.

[WeRQ4U]

18. Where we'll be playing poker on Friday nights.

Or how to make homemade baby food. My life is fairly uninteresting.

[LynneSin]

21. Yeah, I bet it's homemade 'baby food'

so THAT'S what they're calling it these days - 'baby food'

[WeRQ4U]

34. Yep, and here's my proof.

[LynneSin]

45. And you think a picture of a cute kid is gonna me me buy your story

What kind of fools do you think we at the NSA are?

[kedrys]

19. That my mom is a card shark

and she's gunning for Bill Gates, who also reportedly plays bridge online. Oh, and that Canadian French is a dialect that only vaguely resembles French. :rofl:

[JitterbugPerfume]

20. you would be bored silly

but you would know the names and cuteness ratio of all of my grandchildren

[khashka]

22. Confession time?

Okey dokey :)

The NSA knows that I've threatened to kill my parents.(It was a joke!)
That I'm actually even freakier than you guys know.
That international arms dealing was once an occassional hobby.

Khash.

[Call Me Wesley]

32. Freaky ...

;) I once read the technical manual for a new secret spy satellite on the back of a big Mercedes fully loaded with nice weapons going 180 miles an hour to Milan, to meet a suspected Mafioso.

[khashka]

35. I knew we were meant for each other

I know quite a few international arms dealers. All very wealthy. All fun to hang out with. Just as long as you think discussing ordnance is good dinner table conversation.

Let's get together and commit crimes - we don't have to tell Heidi. Although I suspect she might even be worse than we are. :) Hey! We could do the Bonnie and Clyde and Clyde thang!

Khash.

[Call Me Wesley]

40. Mine has a nice vineyard in Tuscany now,

and he's also responsible for my gun shot wound. Nice SIG Sauer .45; at least it was a full metal jacket.

Bonnie and Clyde? You don't think I'm an amateur, do you? :eyes: Oh, you mean something like Peter, Paul and Mary. I get it now. :rofl:

:thumbsup:

[SOteric]

23. That DS1 and I spend a ~lot~ of time on the phone together.

[LynneSin]

24. You do know that DS1 is on the "no-fly" lists

Hell, he can't even leave the state without someone tracking where he's at!

[SOteric]

26. Contrary to popular belief,

matcom does not generate the no-fly list, and his love-crazed stalking does not constitute NSA tracking.

[DS1]

44. It's

"WHERE HE IS!" you illiterate mongrel!

[LynneSin]

46. Sweetie, I'm Pennsylvania Dutch

we end all our sentences with at!! I stand proud of my heritage including the screwed up way we speak sentences!

[LaraMN]

25. In the last 24 hours- more about my friend's sex life than you would ever

want to know, and that she called me five times in the space of an hour, freaking out about the Oprah "bird flu" special.

[alarcojon]

27. Jack Shit

When we're having dinner, what's going on with my sister's love life, what kind of pizza we're going to order, and much, much more.

It would be a titanic waste of time and money.

[LynneSin]

28. This is the Bush administration - you think they care about time & money

:shrug:

[Orsino]

29. Nothing you could use, unless...

...you are also extremely limber and have a similar affinity for leather.

[aclog]

38. now I wanna BE an NSA Agent!

[NewJeffCT]

30. not much, other than my wife speaks Chinese

I don't get many phone calls other than my wife when she has to work late or has to stop some place on the way home.

[CJCRANE]

31. Well, there was that one time that I ...

{REDACTED} not to mention the time when {CENSORED}.

But apart from that, not much.

[jobycom]

33. That GOPisEvil is always telling me how hot LynneSin is.

Though it's not clear to me that he's actually met LynneSin. Or that, in fact, it's actually GOPisEvil I'm speaking to. But I leave that to the NSA to work out.

[seemunkee]

36. No one ever calls for me. It's always for my wife or daughter.

[Reverend_Smitty]

37. That I would NOT like to save money with a new long distance carrier

That and I probably have the most boring life on the planet, I save my really juicy subversive gossip for the internets

[Lilith Velkor]

39. We're having pho for dinner

[ScreamingMeemie]

41. They would know that I was fibbing to MrG when I told him I "tried"

to make a doctor's appointment. I thought about it...really I did, but I bet you NSA people haven't gotten mind reading down yet. :hi:

[cynatnite]

42. Days of our Lives is alive and well in my family

:eyes: Seriously, I just can't stand it.

[Shell Beau]

43. Oooh interesting question, but if I told you then I would have to...

well you know the drill. :silly:

[Lisa]

47. well, my mom is irked that I don't call/write more often!

They'd also learn that I'm probably the only person in North America with a phone but no answering machine or voicemail. (So they wouldn't be able to troll through my messages looking for juicy bits.)

[skygazer]

48. None

I never talk on the phone.