Depressed, need advice on this problem.

[Catherine Vincent]

I have a neighbor driving me up the wall and I need advice. This guy is retired and lives with a couple that have three kids, I heard it was his son. He is always in his garage all day and sometimes at night. A lot of times he is just sitting in his car with the music on (not loud). If I get up right now and look out my window, I guarantee you he is either in his car or in the garage with the door open and lights out, that way he can see everything and everyone else can't. They have lived in that house for about a couple of years. At one point there was an older lady living with them, but I guess she had moved out. Now this older guy is there. They had a nice neighbor that lived next door, who was a single woman, would do her yardwork every day, her yard was beautiful, but since they moved in, she didn't do that anymore because the old guy was making her uncomfortable just sitting in his garage all day like that. Recently she put her house up for sale and moved. That is the reason she sold her house, because of this asshole. I would love to do that to because this guy is getting on my last nerve. I try to ignore him but I am really getting tired of him always being there. I would move but I can't afford to sell my home right now. He is creepy. I leave for work in the a.m., he is there, I come home, he is there. I don't talk to him and when I am in my front yard, I don't even look his way. Friends and relatives that visit me, ask me why is this guy always in his garage? I want to install a camera in front of my house soon because I just don't trust him. I will later just so I could see what he is up to when I am not home. This is bad because he is across the street from my home. It doesn't appear that they are moving in the near future, so it looks like they will be in this neighborhood for a long time. I can't complain to my neighborhood homeowner's assoc. because he is, after all, in his own yard. And if I complain to the cops I am afraid they would find out I complained and may start harassing me.

A couple of days ago, when I returned home from work, when I walked up I noticed my front door was wide open and I saw that the side hinge was broken and on the floor. Apparently it was kicked in. So much for steel door and dead bolt locks. I immediately called the police to report this. When they arrived, we inspected the house and didn't find anything taken. My mattress was pushed over and a few drawers were open. I guess they were looking for money or expensive jewlery. Later, when my cousin was over repairing the door, the son of the old man came over and said that his father said he had seen that my door was open all day. I thought to myself, if he did, why in the hell didn't he call the police or come by to see if anything was wrong? I was so damn mad, this jerk didn't do anything about this being that he was sitting in his damn garage all day.

I take it there is no way to force these people to move, and it looks like I will have to be the one to move. I really liked this neighborhood because it was nice and affordable. Why oh why did these damn people have to move across the street from me?????????????? :(

[NashVegas]

1. Did You Ever Once Try to Speak to the Guy? Befriend Him?

Or did you just decide he's a creep?

Maybe he IS a creep, but you can't know that until you talk to him. It's an old guy. Is he depressed? Suffer dementia? Have you asked his son?

[Catherine Vincent]

4. I think he's a creep.

I used to wave at him early on just being friendly. But after a while, I heard things about what he does from other neighbors. The neighbor that moved had a camera in her back yard and she caught him looking over the fence standing there for a long time. She was upset by this because it wasn't some quick look over but he stood there a good while looking, I don't know maybe he was trying to see inside her house. But this upset her that she went over to ask him what was he looking for and that she has him on tape. He got upset and said he wasn't doing anything wrong. I told her that he was probably just a nosey guy. Seriously, he didn't bother me before because everyone says to just ignore him. But it is getting on my nerves now. I don't want to talk to him anymore because he remind me of being a peeping tom. None of the other neighbors talk to him either.

[radwriter0555]

21. I had a neighbor like that once. HUGE black man. He'd stand out in front

of his house for hours. He always wore blue coveralls.

He never smiled, he just WATCHED everything going on, til all hours of the night. He was right across the street from me when I bought a run down little 'hood adjacent house in LA.

It was disconcerting. He scared ALL of my daughter's parents who'd stop by to drop off or pick up their kid. But they were all from Beverly Hills, right? ("There was a big black man WATCHING US! I'm SURE he was a gangbanger!!!") So I started waving to him.

I figured he was just keeping any eye on everything, and I told him that one day, and thanked him for it. He instantly became my biggest fan.

William turned out to be a good friend over the 2 years I lived there. He made sure the kids didn't tag my low wall, and ran off some other kids who were smoking weed there under the tree, and leaving trash and stuff. When I put the house up for sale, he put the word out to the neighbors to keep things looking nice for prospective buyers... He was a really nice man.

He just liked watching the world go by.

Your neighbor has no life... so you should just ignore him and get on with yours. Things aren't always what they seem to be... He's not hurting you or anyone else. He's just old and alone.

[hobo_baggins]

2. Yeah, doesn't sound like hes done much wrong...I say get over it

let the guy hang out in his garage. sheesh

[Cobalt Violet]

3. Maybe he is just staying in the garage.

[Catherine Vincent]

6. He could be. Not sure.

[merh]

5. Sorry that you are going through this, cat.

:hug:

If you like where you live, maybe you can reach out to the old man and befriend him. Make him your buddy. Go talk to him about the break in and ask him to keep an eye on your place for you. Ask him if he remembers any strange cars or people on the street that day.

He might have some information that can help i.d. the person that broke in to your house. And asking him to keep an eye out may give an old man something that makes him feel important.

You know you and yours are in my prayers, wish I could be of more help. :hug:

:loveya:

[Floogeldy]

10. Perhaps some home made chocolate chip cookies and a smile?

:)

[merh]

14. Okay, maybe it is not the best of ideas.

I think cat needs to go with her gut on this one.

:hi:

[Floogeldy]

16. Did you think I was being facetious?

I understand if you did. Such are the imperfections of message board posting.

I am serious about the cookies and smile. :)

On the other hand, if you think my idea is dumb, I respect your opinion.

[merh]

20. Yes, I thought you were being facetious.

Sorry that I misread your post. Cookies and a smile would be nice, but we have to keep in mind that cat has got to follow her instincts, go with her gut. If this guy gives her the creeps, then her intuition may be warning her to not deal with the fellow.

:hi:

[Lady President]

7. I hope you can't force them to move

Geez, I hope you can't make someone move for sitting in their own garage. You would have hated my dad. He sat in the garage all the time. He wasn't allowed to smoke in the house so he had a chair outside. He would read the paper, listen to ESPN radio, putter around in the yard, and watch the world.

The neighbor directly across the street from me is out in the garage constantly too. He has a t.v. and does fix-it projects, but often he is just watching the cars. It has never occurred to me that such behavior is creepy.

However, if you feel uncomfortable with your living arrangememt, then try to find somewhere new. It's miserable when you don't enjoy your home.

[Dangerously Amused]

8. If I was in that situation,

...I would try to find out a little more about the guy before forming too many conclusions. He appears to be pretty harmless so far. He may just be retarded, possibly have autism. Does this sound like him?:


***

What are the characteristics of autism?

People with autism generally experience three main areas of difficulty; these are known as the triad of impairments.

Social interaction (difficulty with social relationships, for example appearing aloof and indifferent to other people);

Social communication (difficulty with verbal and non-verbal communication, for example not fully understanding the meaning of common gestures, facial expressions or tone of voice);

Imagination (difficulty in the development of interpersonal play and imagination, for example having a limited range of imaginative activities, possibly copied and pursued rigidly and repetitively).

In addition to this triad, repetitive behaviour patterns and resistance to change in routine are often characteristic.

***

Source, and more information: http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=211

[flvegan]

9. Could be as simple as he can't/won't smoke in the house.

I mean, installing a camera because you don't trust him? What has he done? Sure, I understand creepy. And yeah, that might be creepy to me.

I have a neighbor that's a little "off" too. I remember a night when my door blew open and was open all night. He mentioned it, and I was also like, uh, why didn't you call/call the cops, etc? Just not what he'd do, but he damn sure watched out for my house when one of the dogs went through a window, AND he was at my door with a fire extinguisher when he said he saw a spark shoot from my fusebox.

Hell, were it I, I'd head over there and thank the guy for "watching my house all day" while the door was kicked in. Maybe it's a bridge to open discussion. A neighborhood weirdo can easily be leveraged into a neighborhood watchdog, so to speak.

[Blue Diadem]

11. It sounds like you're very upset over the break in

which has to be very frightening. Anxiety can take over sometime.

I doubt the old guy is some awful person..he's probably just a grandpa/dad who doesn't want to dirty up his daughter-in-laws home..or maybe he feels like he's in the way. I bet he's also pretty lonely too. I feel bad that his neighbor was so nasty about him looking at her yard..maybe all he was doing was admiring all her yard work.

Try to relax and not pay so much attention to the guy in his garage.

[hiaasenrocks]

12. I would continue to mind my own business.

And, despite some of the advice here, I wouldn't have any contact with him. Honestly, from what you wrote, I can understand your concerns. That's not to say I think this guy is doing anything wrong or illegal, but if you're uncomfortable...then you're uncomfortable. Simple as that.

I think it's always a good idea to have motion-sensitive lights, and this would be something that might make you more comfortable at night.

Do you have a dog?

[Zookeeper]

13. It would bother me that the guy saw your door open...

and didn't do anything about it. Generally, a neighborhood watchdog or busybody isn't quite so passive.

Sorry to say it, but if this situation is making you so uncomfortable, moving may be your only option,
unless you talk to the "garage guy" and establish some kind of rapport.

[Floogeldy]

18. Guess what?

I took a criminal law class in which a scenario was presented. The scenario was a person standing in his backyard watching a baby crawling towards a swimming pool.

If the baby falls into the swimming pool, and will obviously drown, does the watching neighbor have a duty under the law to attempt to save the baby?

Hmmmm.

[LisaL]

19. There was a case somewhat like this recently.

A woman and her boyfriend's child were walking by the river. THe kid fell in and drowned. THe woman did not jump in. She did go on trial. THe prosecution argued that because she was watching the child, she had a duty to jump in and save him. So, I would say since neighbor is not in charge of the child, he does not have a legal duty to save him. If the parents asked him to watch the child, then he would have a duty to save him.

[Ravenseye]

15. Creepy Neighbors Suck

I'm not saying the guy doesn't have a 'right' to do what he's doing, which you also recognize, but that doesn't stop creepy behavior from being creepy behavior.

[LisaL]

17. What is his garage made out of? Glass?

How do you know he is always sitting in there?
Just stop watching him. He is not bothering anyone by sitting in his own garage.

[hickman1937]

22. What exactly has he done that's creepy?

He's old and living with his kid. Maybe go over and get to know the family. Sitting in a garage waiting to die is sad. Maybe thats the creepy part. It could happen to you.

[SoCalDem]

23. We have neighbors like that too.. I feel your pain.

Only OUR neighbors have about 7 too many people living in their house,and they insist on entertaining on their front porch and barbequeing on their front lawn..they wash their car by driving it oin their front lawn..poor ole grandpa sits on the front porch all day long..and these folks are SCREAMERS.. I sometimes get so annoyed that I literally SLAM my front door to send them a message.

It pisses me off that i cannot leave my own front door open or open the front windows unless I want to hear them bellowing at each other all day long..

I am torn too, because I know they did an illegal addition in the back, and I could turn them in, but they would only be fined and then they would have to tear it down..and then they would be royally pissed at me..

We will be moving when my husband retires, so i know it's not forever..but sheez I want some peace & quiet..