Omg! "Two homes are about to be blessed!" (dial-up warning)

[LaraMN]

Or so says this ridiculous mailing I got. Check this out; it's a "prayer rug" on a piece of paper. I'm supposed to pray over it and mail it to somebody. Then there's the Jesus face- if I stare it, he's supposed to open his eyes. It kind of works, but he just looks possessed. It's really creepy as shit. This is the THIRD time I've gotten one of these. Should I use it as a napkin and mail it back to them?



On the back of the envelope, my hands already feel "the blessings"::rofl:



The rug is "soaked" with power ::scared:



Shit! It MUST be true! A testimonial!



The freaky-ass optical illusion Jesus, himself:



Please, "Saint Matthew's Church," deliver my heathen soul from evil with your paper Jesus rug!

[jane_pippin]

1. Bwahahaha! No you didn't! I just got that today too and was thinking of

scanning them in to post 'em!

:rofl:

I was so excited to see that in the mail because I got the first one about a year ago and thought it was so hysterical that I hung up the whole mailer on my wall. I was hoping this was going to be a new addition to my growing collection of fundie mail wall decor, but it was just this same one again.

And I love that the claims they make. Did you get the handkerchief one yet? That one says "Son in Law OFF DOPE (thanks to prayer handkerchief)"

:rofl:

[LaraMN]

4. HAH! So you're a heathen, too then?

I might have guessed! Get off the dope, or more rugs will be to your house, in Jebus name, I pray it!

[jane_pippin]

13. I've been found out! I will check the box that says I want them to pray

for my heathen soul instead of checking the box demanding the good lord bless me with money like I was gonna do.


Speaking of, here's another Prayer Rug Greatest Hit:

GOD BLESSED US WITH $10,700. HE WENT OUT AND BOUGHT US A CAR!

:rofl:

I like a proactive god.

[Radio_Lady]

26. I dislike religious folks who can't tell "who's" from "whose"!

Some smart ass who uses English to further his/her agenda -- but nice block printing!

Next stop for this person might be RANSOM NOTES.....

[jeff30997]

2. Bwahahahaaah! This is so ridiculous !

:rofl:

[LaraMN]

6. What kind of info do they have on me, that I"m in their "target"

audience?!

[djeseru]

3. No fair! I want a prayer rug too!!!

:rofl:

[LaraMN]

8. Well, then, you better amp up your ungodliness!

So that they'll recognize your need for salvation!

[djeseru]

10. Off to the liquor store.

If I want to reach that level of ungodliness, a few inhibitions are going to need to be lost!

[yasmina27]

5. OMG! They're targeting DU!

We got one yesterday! I almost puked when I read it - it was our first. I was enraged. I had my husband - an avowed atheist - read it. I thought sure there had to be something illegal about it. He shrugged and said as far as he could tell it wasn't illegal. I was originally planning to send it back with something obnoxious in the envelope. But then I did some research and saw articles that said that investigations had found opened envelopes, with the $ removed but the rest of the contents inside, tossed into a dumpster. I figured I wasn't going to waste my time and effort - it is in the trash, ripped to shreds.

[LaraMN]

7. That's it. Seriously. I'm sending them a piece of cheese.

I'm going to.

[scarlet_owl]

9. I got one of those last year.

Freaky.

[Left Is Write]

11. Would Jesus approve of the bad grammar on the back of the envelope?

[sundog]

12. the jesus picture is freaky

:scared:

stare & it looks like Regan on "The Exorcist"

[jane_pippin]

14. You're supposed to meditate on his eyes, and if you're doing it right

("holy" enough?) as you back a way his eyes appear to open miraculously.

That's how you know he's listening.







It's like a fucking John Waters thing or something.

[sundog]

18. i'm not holy enough

:(

[jane_pippin]

20. Join the club.

One of us. One of us. One of us.

I've had the thing hanging on the wall for a year and not once has anybody seen his eyes open. It's jesus van winkle.

[Deja Q]

15. Was Jesus high on dope when they took that photo?!

Lovely fingernail polish color, BTW! :thumbsup:

[DS1]

16. There's only one kind of rug that I kneel before

and that's not it :D

[UCLA02]

17. No you didn't...

(but I'm with ya if ya did!)

[DS1]

22. Yes I DID

:D

[no name no slogan]

19. Hey, I got that earlier this week!

I wonder if they're targeting MN? Are we really that heathenistic?

[yasmina27]

21. We're in PA

I tell you, they're targeting the God-hating liberals on DU! OH NO!!!

They probably just need more money - they've gone through the millions they've already scammed out of the brain-dead fundies.

Seriously, they're trying to get money out of those who have the least to give - poor, underemployed folks who will try anything to get ahead. Unfortunately, these are often the people who are the least educated in our society and believe everything they see on FAUX news.

[Oeditpus Rex]

23. Send 'em this

[WolverineDG]

24. I got that recently too

maybe within the last couple of weeks. It's the 2nd time it's showed up in my mailbox too. Maybe my house really needs blessing & someone's trying to tell me something.... :scared:

dg

[Radio_Lady]

25. Bwahhhhhhh! We're Jewish and they missed sending one to us!

Maybe the Rabbi got it instead.

Send it to someone who got hit by one of the hurricanes if you can't use it. Some of their homes REALLY need a blessing.

[Shine]

27. Wow, that's effing bizarre!! It's weird that so many of you have gotten it

maybe it's a regional thang? :shrug:

Sorry, but the bad grammar just exacerbates how dumb they are. :eyes: