I'm unmotivated. I want to leave.

[rbnyc]

I'm just going to get this off my chest and then get back to work.

I used to love my job, but I was spending so much time away from home, particularly because of the long commute, that my family was in crisis and I didn't even realize it. So I switched to a part-time schedule.

I love being at home more and it's been great for my son. And having time to deal with some neglected issues, it's actually been great for my marriage.

However, I have the same work-load, and as a part-timer, pay a huge amount for my family health insurance. After my insurance deduction and paying for baby-sitting, I am essentially working for no money.

The stress of trying to keep up with my work load, while steadily falling behind on bills and rent, is most difficult. On Friday, I left a fed-ex sitting on my desk that nearly cost us a $100,000 opportunity. I simply have too much to do, and too much on my mind.

I am in the midst of the interview process for an excellent job right around the corner from my house. If I get it, I will make more than enough money and have more time to be with my family at the same time, as I will not be spending almost 20 hours per week on the train.

I have a good shot at getting this job, but I've decided, even if I don't get it, I'm going to look for a higher paying job closer to home anyway. I am going to tell my ED on Friday.

I know it's against conventional wisdom to give notice before securing another job, but I have a few reasons for doing so. First, I am willing to take some personal risk for the health of the organization. I am greatly relied upon here and responsible for much. I will be difficult to replace. My ED needs as much notice as possible or else she'll be screwed. I'm not interested in screwing anyone over, or seeing our programs suffer.

Second, my ED and I have a very good relationship, and I am confident that she will keep me here until the last possible minute. Even if she hires someone else, I think she'd have us working together until I found another job.

Third, I'm very hire-able and the job market in my field is currently in my favor.

Last, even if my ED were to get so angry with my that she wanted to throw me out, she couldn't, because I'm the only one who knows how to perform critical functions.

So, it being clear that I am leaving, and my being alone in the office today, I am wholly unmotivated and would like to spend my day playing Jungle Gin on Pogo.com.

However, there's TONS to do and I should get on it!

I did come in half an hour early this morning, so I think it's fair to take 10 minutes to rant.

</rant>

Thanks for listening.

EDIT: typo

[LaraMN]

1. So when do you expect to hear about the other job?

It sounded like it was a good possibility.

[rbnyc]

3. On Tuesday he said he'd contact me in a few days...

...to meet the rest of the senior team.

On Wednesday I sent a thank-you note.

On Thursday I left him a brief voice mail.

No word on Friday.

No word yet today.

The initial interview was great.

Now I'm worried, maybe he doesn't like my writing samples, or someone gave me a bad reference, though I can't imagine who or why. ;-)

I don't know how many candidates got second inteviews.

I know he's really busy because he doesn't have a Development Director.

At this point, I just have to wait.

[LaraMN]

6. Like pulling teeth, huh?

It's so hard having your fate in someone else's hands. I've sending *new job* vibes to you! I really hope you hear back soon and it's favorable.

[rbnyc]

8. Thanks so much!! (nt)

[Ohio Joe]

2. I suggest you do leave but...

I strongly suggest you do not give notice until you have another job. Everyone can be replaced and unless they are quite foolish, they will begin to do so as soon as you announce your intention to leave.

[rbnyc]

5. Well, if I'm going to leave...

...they need to start looking for someone now.

But seriously, my ED would want me to work with the new person for as long as possible. There isn't even anyone else here who could train them on our software. There are a million little details that need to be passed along.

No one else in my office even knows how to get a purchase order.

I asked my former boss for advice, and she said the same as you, but then she said if it were her, she'd tell her boss because she and her boss have an excellent relationship and because she'd be difficult to replace.

Like I said, I am willing to take some personal risk. And as it is, I'm contributting NO MONEY to my household. We'd just have to go on medicaid til I got a new job.

[Ohio Joe]

9. Thats cool

As long as you are will to risk it. I don't know if you work for a small, medium or large company but a small or medium sized one would be more willing to keep you on, a large one will almost definitely replace you ASAP.

Best of luck in your job search though, I hope it works out to the best for you and your family :)

[rbnyc]

10. It's a small program within a large system...

...but we operate as independently as possible.

It's really just me, the ED and an office assistant doing all the administrative and development work.

Thanks.

:hi:

[Misunderestimator]

4. I think you're doing the right thing. If they are smart...

they will keep you on as long as it takes you to find something. The more transition time for whoever replaces you, the better. And... spiritually speaking, I think you will have an easier time allowing the right thing into your life, if you are up front about it with your current employer, especially given the trusting relationship you have.

I had a similar choice to make a couple of years ago. In the end it worked out as I hardly dared dream for it to, and I turned my position into a telecommuting one and never had to leave the job at all. Is that something that they might consider? Perhaps on a part-time basis? Part-time in the office and part at home?

I have a feeling this is going to work out for you no matter what happens. Good luck in your search!

[rbnyc]

7. Thanks.

I had though about working from home. The sticking point is that we live in a railroad apartment with no doors between rooms. It's really a big long open space. Even with a nanny at home, my son would not leave me alone as long as I'm in sight. She'd have to physically restrain him to keep him away from me.

The other problem is that it's University policy not to allow any remote linking to our network so I'd be disconnected from the donor database.

It just doesn't seem realistic, and I'd hate to ask them to go through all kinds of contortions on my behalf if it's not going to be sustainable.

I think I have about an 80% shot at getting the job I interviewed for. And if that doesn't come through, I know I can improve my situation elsewhere.

I do feel better being up-front. It's just agonizing for me to be deceptive.

Well, I better get back to work.

Thanks Again!

[Gormy Cuss]

12. I was going to post, but Misunderestimator said most of what I had to say.

I had the same unexpected outcome when I decided to quit a job I loved. You never know. You must be prepared to lay out for them the changes that would be necessary for telecommuting to work for you. As for living in a railroad flat, if your son is in daycare outside of your home now, you could telecommute and keep him in daycare. I have had many coworkers who do just that. They can do the cooking, laundry,bill-paying and all those niggling little tasks during the workday at home rather than have those things compete with family time.
I would suggest that you wait to notify the ED until you know about the job around the corner if that job would trump even telecommuting for the current place.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Shine]

11. I'm still holding good thoughts you get the job you want.

keep us posted, OK?

:hi:

[rbnyc]

13. Thanks!

I will.

:)