I got a rimshot smiley and I'm not afraid to use it. Post your vaudeville

[Richardo]

...punch lines.

[mistertrickster]

1. George Bush . . . he looks like an idiot, he acts like an idiot

But don't let that fool ya.

He REALLY IS an idiot.

[Richardo]

2. .

[Callalily]

3. S_F: My friend has been

elected mayor.
Richardo: Honestly?
S_F: What does that matter?

[Richardo]

4. .

[dolo amber]

5. I said to the Doctor, "Doc, my foot hurts..what should I do?"

He said "Limp."

[Richardo]

9. .

[XNASA]

6. ''I have this terrific make-up man. But he's expensive........

......I have to fly him in from Lourdes.''

[Richardo]

10. .

[terrya]

7. "Take my wife...please"

I'm channeling Henny Youngman today. I'm hoping to stop very, very soon.

[Richardo]

11. .

[Callalily]

8. S_F: My father killed

a hundred men in the war.
Richardo: What was he? A Gunner?
S_F: Nope, a cook.

May I steal your rim-short smiley? I just love that one! You're welcome to have one of mine.


Ugh! I can't spell today!!!!

[Richardo]

12. .

It's public domain as far as I'm concerned. Steal away.

[jpgray]

13. I thought Rimshot Smiley was the name of a Saigon whore

[Richardo]

14. .

"Isn't that wild?"

[SKKY]

15. Two lawyers are walking down the street when they see...

...a beautiful blonde hottie, wearing a tight skirt, thong showing through, huge (you know whats).

Lawyer #1 - "Man, I'd love to screw her. I mean, I'd really love to screw her just once!"
Lawyer #2 - "Out of what?"

[Richardo]

16. .

[azmouse]

17. Patient: "Hey Doc!"

"It hurts when I move my arm this way."

Doc: "Well, stop moving your arm that way."

[Richardo]

18. .

[xmas74]

19. No punch line

but my greatgrandfather was a vaudeville performer. Give up the rimshot for Hambone and his amazing harmonica skills!

[Richardo]

20. .

With pleasure...

[xmas74]

21. He'd like that

if he hadn't died 20 odd years ago!

[Bucky]

22. The Gallup Organization polled 100 men aged 15-45 and they all said...

"ouch!"

That joke makes its OWN rimshot, if you get my meaning

[Richardo]

24. .

[Bucky]

29. Sigh. There's a *second* meaning to the phrase "being polled".

Think Amadu Dialo

[Richardo]

33. .

I did. Hence the

[wildhorses]

23. I said, "I seriously need to get a life"...

"anybody got one they're not using?"

[Richardo]

25. .

[EstimatedProphet]

26. With my wife I don't get no respect.

I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

[Richardo]

30. .

Loves me the Rodney Dangerfield... :thumbsup:

[Beaverhausen]

27. "The Aristocrats"

I keep reading your post as "Rimjob smiley"

[Richardo]

31. HA!

[RetroLounge]

28. Niagra Falls?

Slowly I turned... Step by Step...

RL

[Richardo]

32. .

[sundog]

34. "sounds like a fisting movie"

[Richardo]

40. .

[Deja Q]

35. I am so glad you did not say "rim job"...

:rofl:

[Richardo]

51. .

:eyes:

[Beaverhausen]

36. and the doctor says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

[Richardo]

41. .

[MrSlayer]

37. Ah, the President...I love this guy..I bought him a chair for Christmas...

but they won't let me plug it in.

[Richardo]

42. .

[mcscajun]

38. "If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder."

One of the oldest lines from Vaudeville.

[Richardo]

43. .

[gizmo1979]

39. I went to the doctors

I said doc it hurts when I do this.<<..>>,He said don't do<<..>> that.

[Richardo]

44. See #17.

[ScreamingMeemie]

45. And so the bartender says,"Hey, why the long face?"

:hi;

[Richardo]

48. .

[asthmaticeog]

46. ...one has cunning stunts.

[Richardo]

49. .

[peekaloo]

47. Hey Doc, I want a second opinion.

Well, you're ugly too.

[Richardo]

50. .

[ProfessorGAC]

52. My Wife Said "Take The Garbage Out."

I said "You cooked it, you take it out!"
The Professor

[Richardo]

53. .

[ProfessorGAC]

56. What?!?!? No Cowbell?

The Professor

[Richardo]

57. I'll refer you to LynneSin for all your cowbell needs.

[ProfessorGAC]

60. Yeah, But Your Smiley Doesn't Even Have A Cowbell. . .

. . .on the kit! That should be against some sort of Lounge Law or something. I believe i will have to notify the proper authorities.
The Professor

[meegbear]

54. Three republicans are driving in the woods to go hunting ...

they see a sign on the road saying "Bear Left", so they turned around and went home.

[Richardo]

55. .

[AnarchoFreeThinker]

58. you ought to be on stage...and there's one leaving in 10 minutes.

[Richardo]

59. .

[EstimatedProphet]

61. Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book?

They all have phones.

[Richardo]

62. HAHAHAHAHA!

:rofl:

Oh yeah:

[sakabatou]

63. Doc, I'm a little hoarse...

And then he showed me to the psych ward.

[Richardo]

64. .

[Montauk6]

65. Trying to find signs of intelligent life among the freepers...

is like trying to find a booger in a mustard factory.

[Richardo]

66. .

[GOPisEvil]

67. "...rectum? I damn-near killed him."

[Richardo]

68. Where have you *been*?