dumb ass reports Marijuana Stolen to police

[grateful581]

(KSL News) -- Two people are in jail following a home burglary.

According to police reports, 18-year-old Kory C. Tippetts returned home Monday evening to discover that someone had broken into his house. Tippetts reported that a quarter-pound of marijuana was the only thing missing.

Tippetts told police he had an idea who might have stolen it. Tippetts explained to police that he had received a call earlier that day from 23-year-old Richard W. Hight. Hight wanted to buy some marijuana, but Tippetts couldn't meet him to make the sale.

Officers checked Hight's house, where they recovered six ounces of marijuana and arrested him for burglary, theft, and possession of marijuana in a drug-free-zone with the intent to distribute. He was booked into the Utah County jail.

With the stolen marijuana now in hand, the officers called Tippetts to come to the police station to identify the drugs. Tippetts came to the station, identified the drugs, and was then arrested and booked on drug related charges.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=157208

:rofl:

[OrangeCountyDemocrat]

1. This Is Definitely One For Keith Olbermann nt

[grateful581]

3. I agree

good one for oddball

[Shine]

2. Duh. they were probably stoned at the time, too.

:smoke:

[jmowreader]

4. Sounds like a dumbass I remember from the 101st

Company B, 311th MI Battalion, was the ground surveillance radar company.

The AN/PPS-5 ground surveillance radar comes in a box that looks like a casket for a reason: you use this thing by crawling right up to the forward edge of the battle area, setting this enormous machine right on the FEBA so the commies can see it, then turning it on and shooting microwave energy right at the bad guys...who have radar-homing artillery shells and any shell tracking radar made since shell trackers were invented can find this thing. Typical life expectancy of a GSR operator on the battlefield: not very fucking long.

As one can well imagine, a lot of the people who did this (they got rid of ground surveillance radar in favor of remote-based sensors) like to smoke dope.

Which is bad enough when you're in the army and even worse when the GSR company's barracks was on one end of the second floor of a three-story building and the other end of the same floor had MPs living on it. Every once in a while, just for the fuck of it, they'd go down to the kennel, get a dog and walk it past the GSR troops' rooms. (It didn't help matters any that Cactus Jack McGuinness, the MI battalion commander, beat the shit out of the provost marshal at the Officers' Club one night then informed him that if he ever showed his worthless leg face in there again he was gonna kill him...so the MPs and the MI battalion were at perpetual war with each other.)

One fine evening they brought the dog to the barracks, found someone smoking weed in his room, raided it and confiscated this poor fucker's whole stash. This was before the army got really paranoid about pot so all they could do to the guy was "14, 14 & 7"--14 days restriction, 14 days extra duty, 7 days forfeiture of pay. He went to the Trial Defense Service and the lawyer told him to find someplace else to smoke that shit; when six MPs walk into your room with a dog and you've got a bag of weed sitting on your footlocker and a joint in your hand, there ain't a whole lot a lawyer can do for you.

Around comes this dipshit's date with the commander. "Private So-and-So, I am considering punishing you under the provisions of Article 15, Uniform Code of Military Justice, for the offense of possession of two marijuana cigarettes."

Private So-and-So went Ape Shit. "Sir, that Mother Fucker! I had a hundred dollars worth of fuckin' weed. That Mother Fucker stole my dope!"