Here's my sign for Habitat Chili Cook-Off

[trof]

I'm entering the local Habitat for Humanity Charity Chili Cook-Off in a couple of weeks.
This sign will be part of my table decorations.
Can't get the colors and spacing the same here, but you get the idea.
Any suggestions?

OUR CHILI IS LOVINGLY HAND PREPARED*
BY BALDWIN COUNTY DEMOCRATS WITH CHOICE,
CUSTOM CUT, GRADE 'A', ORGANICALLY GROWN
BALDWIN COUNTY VENISON.
"ZERO-PORK CHILI"

Yes, it has beans.
The finest Gourmet Pinto Beans that Winn-Dixie can supply.
Beans are an excellent source of protein.
If you're a visitor from Texas, get over it.


IT IS ABSOLUTELY IRON-CLAD, BRASS-BOUND,
DOUBLE-BARREL
GUARANTEED
TO BE NEW AND IMPROVED, NON-NUCLEAR,
NON-TOXIC,
NON-ALLERGENIC, ALL NATURAL,
PEANUT-ASBESTOS-LEAD FREE,
SAFE FOR PETS AND CHILDREN
OR DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK**


Hand Stirred!***


*No mechanical, electrical, nor electronic devices whatsoever were utilized in the preparation of this Nonpareil Chili.
**Less shipping and handling, re-stocking fees, and gratuities.
***Stirred COUNTER-CLOCKWISE ONLY!

[GOPisEvil]

1. Counter-clockwise?!

Heathens!

Beans, I'll allow, as you're in Alabama...

I am making a vegetarian 3-bean chili for my super bowl party. Don't rat me out, ok! I am also making chili con carne sans beans.

[WolverineDG]

2. You can't have chili

without beans! :rofl:

dg

[GOPisEvil]

3. Whaaaaaa?

Real Texas chili con carne has no beans. I won't make it with beans, but I'll eat chili with beans. I'm not THAT much of an elitist. ;)

[WolverineDG]

13. who told you that lie?

;)

my parents (born & bred south texans) laughed themselves sick anytime they saw "chili without beans."

dg

[GOPisEvil]

14. Try showing up in Terlingua with beans in yer chili.

;)

[WolverineDG]

15. i'm sticking to my mantra

ya can't have chili w/o beans. no such animal. and it ain't chili unless you can to eat it with a fork. ;)

dg

[GOPisEvil]

17. Now the fork I can live with.

Chili should be thick.

[LynneSin]

4. Counter-clockwise would be turning it left

:D

[GOPisEvil]

5. Until you got to the bottom, then it would be going right.

:P

[trof]

7. Bingo. You got it.

;-)

[Gormy Cuss]

6. Nice sign, but what IS in the chili?

Besides the venison, beans, and chili powder that is.

[trof]

9. If you promise not to tell...

I use Wick Fowler's 2-Alarm Chili Kit.
It has the chili powder, cominos, cayenne, onion, garlic, and masa flour for thickening.
I have made chili from scratch and I cannot beat Wick Fowler's.
It also calls for 2 pounds of meat, a can of tomato paste and a can of water, but I use dark beer instead of the water.
Now you know my secret recipe.

[Gormy Cuss]

10. That's not a bad kit.

I've used it when I couldn't get a supply of good powdered mild/medium chiles (as opposed to chili powders, which usually have the wrong balance for my tastes.) The only way I improved the Fowler's was by adding more cayenne.

Beer always improves chili!

Hope there's a good turnout for the cook-off.

[trof]

12. I've attended the last several. Usually get a good turnout.

This is my first time as a participant.

[JitterbugPerfume]

8. it is a fact everybody knows---

chili has BEANS pinto beans





jeez

[trof]

11. I'm also setting up a CHILIHEADS' FIRST AID station.

The sign has a red cross on it.
Sitting behind a big bowl of Tums with a spoon in it, it says:

CHILIHEADS' FIRST AID STATION

"TUMS FOR THE TUMMY"

FOR REASONS OF HYGIENE PLEASE USE SPOON
AND KEEP YOUR GRUBBY MITTS OUT OF THE BOWL

THANK YOU
(big smiley face)

[Ron Green]

16. CHILI CON CARNE CONTAINS NO BEANS.

That is all.

[skygazer]

18. Mmmmmm......

Venison makes great chili. I use kidneys myself but pintos are good, too. Wish I could give it a try! :hi: