Do you feel like you've wasted your life?

[Deja Q]

[Shine]

1. I've wasted hours of my life, but not my life itself.

:D

I'm too much of an Optimist to think in those terms, personally.

[Ladyhawk]

2. Only when I waste time answering poll questions.

:silly:

HT, if I might say, I've noticed the way you've been thinking. I went through some of the same shit recently and it does get better. I went through a "fear of death" phase when I realized that the afterlife story I'd been fed was a load of bullshit. Fear of hell was worse, but I still had trouble reconciling the fact that I will someday completely cease to exist. There will be a day when no one remembers me or cares. There will be a day when the entire human race ceases to exist. Every species goes extinct eventually. We'll eventually turn back into the stuff of the stars.

We tell ourselves pretty stories to keep from facing the truth because the truth seems to indicate our lives have no meaning. That's not true. Our lives only have the meaning WE give to them. We are in charge of giving meaning to our lives. No one else--no god, no religion, no pastor, no pope--can do it for us. In the end, we are responsible for creating meaning.

After many months of terror, it got better, HT. It really did. I'm at peace (for the most part) with the idea that I will someday cease to exist. I will become, once again, the stuff of the stars.

I've also agonized over the idea that I've "wasted" my life. It isn't over yet, HT. Not for me. Not for you. And remember this: we don't necessarily have to do great things to find meaning in life. I can find some meaning by simply typing this reply to you. I can find meaning by struggling to play a Bach minuet on the keyboard. I can find meaning in a simple cup of coffee.

I once thought that I had to be famous and do great things in order to feel that my life had meaning. I had this crazy-ass idea that I needed to finish a novel that (deep down) I didn't really want to finish. I thought I had to publish it and receive accolades from critics and fans alike. I wasn't finishing the novel on my own, so I decided to take a creative writing class.

I learned some very freeing things from that class, HT, most of them from a book entitled Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. I realized that I shouldn't write unless I found meaning in the process itself. Even if you're not at all interested in writing, I recommend the book to you, to everyone. It makes you realize you can just slow down, live life as it is and find meaning in it.

Of course, I haven't "arrived." That's the point. My whole live is a journey and the idea is to learn to enjoy the process. I've started writing down the things I find important. Here's what I have so far. Everyone's list is bound to be different:


Life Lessons

* Question Everything *

* Trust No One *

* I can change no one but myself *

* I must rely on no one else for my happiness *

* Process is everything *

* Be here now *

* Bit by bit; bird by bird; teeka-teeka *

* Fantasies should stay in the realm of fantasy; reality can never live up to fantasy *

* When I do not keep up my exercise regimen, my diabetes goes out of control and I feel more depressed *

* Beware of that which I want to believe *

* Beware of that which I am afraid is true *


Some of these lessons were very painful to learn, but learning them will help me cope with problems along the way. I hope. :) I'm sure I will learn more as I continue my journey. Perhaps I will even unlearn some of these lessons. Nothing is set in stone.

OK. I'll shut up now.

[0007]

8. You had more than just bird seed this morning.

[BlueIris]

3. Interesting. I've been having real trouble answering this question lately

And since I can't tell if this is a Lounge joke or not...well, I won't get into why I'm struggling. It's strange; my life has been in a period of professional inertia these last four years, but the knowledge I have gained about myself, my art, my family and my place in this society during that time has been invaluable. I don't know if I would have the awareness I've accumulated during these years if I'd been busy attempting to accrue material wealth and so-called "meaningful" accomplishments instead of...the things I've been doing. I put "maybe."

[Deja Q]

9. How can I say this? I could paraphrase

what I'd been told all my life and say "the only joke in the lounge is me"...

But even then.

Take me as you like. Maybe it is a joke. Maybe it is not. I'm not here to pass judgment. The only thing you can be sure of is that it is not a joke.

[Mayberry Machiavelli]

4. No, but I'm doing a pretty good job wasting YOURS!

:evilgrin:

[Deja Q]

11. I have none to waste.

:D

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. My answer, my dear Hypno Toad, is a RESOUNDING no!

I have my life, my husband, my home, my children and grandchild......

These are positives in my life.....there is also love.....great love!

And baby, my life is NOT over yet, not by a long shot. I feel as though I still have things to do, to struggle at and to accomplish.....

It is an exciting time for me....

And as Ladyhawk said, then we travel back into the stars......


:grouphug:

[Deja Q]

13. I wish you the best.

Do not take for granted what you have.

Too many people do. And then they lose it.


Spoken by a person looking in from outside.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

19. I never take for granted what I am so fortunate to possess,

my dear HypnoToad......

The love in my life is precious beyond words to me....beyond words!

I am among the luckiest of women......

I am sorry you're on the outside, looking in.....I wish I could help you...

:hug:

[Ron Mexico]

6. Actually, sometimes I do.

I can think of about 15 decisions off the top of my head - major stuff, not just what to have for dinner - that I seriously regret. However, I did get the marriage thing right, so whether I've wasted a large part of my life or not, and whether I can afford to drive anything better than a piece of shit or not, I'm still a pretty happy guy.

[PittPoliSci]

7. yeah but i'm 21.

i've got time to atone.

[madeline_con]

10. Not yet. I'm still alive. n/t

[Redstone]

12. Fuck, no.

Redstone

[Benfea]

14. My purpose is to serve as an example to others,

…so technically it's not a waste.

[elshiva]

15. YES!

[sundog]

16. not really

i have my days but all in all, i think i made the best choices i could under the circumstances

i feel good in my heart, regardless of what others think of me, so i guess that's a start

[graywarrior]

17. Trick question to ask as I spend the next 4 hours posting here.

[swag]

18. I don't care.

It will all be over soon and, no matter what I do, ultimately it will not have meant a fucking thing.

I'm having fun at the moment.

Burn it up! Or don't.

[hickman1937]

20. Yes. n/t

[jobycom]

21. No, I've managed to avoid any achievement or responsibility

so I feel that I've lived life to it's fullest. :-)

[Heidi]

23. Pants on fire.

You've plenty of responsibilities and you take pains to honor them. You have integrity. Don't deny it. :hug:

[jobycom]

25. They aren't responsibilities

if you do them because you love to.

So, you talking about my kids or my cats?

[Heidi]

26. Both.

(I'm also referring to the way you reacted to the Katrina devastation.) With love comes at least a measure of responsibility. I think there's a difference between drudgery and responsibility. Seems to me it's drudgery when you don't love to. :shrug:

[jobycom]

27. See?

That's just the kind of complex thought I'm hoping to waste my life avoiding! Argh. Am I responsible? Am I selfish? Do I do good things to help people or to feel good? Boxers or briefs? Aiiyyy. Maybe I'll go nude, at least figuratively. The laundry bill is lower that way.

[Heidi]

28. I can't answer any of those questions, because

you've given me a subdural hematoma. ;)

[jobycom]

29. That's either

a brain thing or sunburn, I forget which... But it's under the dural, I can guess that without Google!

[last_texas_dem]

22. I'm gonna go with "Maybe"

I've got plenty of regrets so far, but I don't think I've royally screwed it up yet. I've been going through a period of "what am I supposed to be doing with my life?" for quite a while now, though, and I feel like if I stay in this mode too long my life will become a waste. I'm 22, though, so I still have the hope of getting it turned around; though I'm not as optimistic about this as I'd like to be. (I've never really been, though...)

[SKKY]

24. I've been in the Navy for 13 years now, serving the very people..

...who've helped to make me what I am today. I'd have to say my life has been pretty freakin' good.

[RevCheesehead]

30. No, but it's certainly taken some unexpected turns.

Do I have regrets? Sure - everyone does.
But at the same time, it's those difficult or unexpected moments that have helped shape me into the cheezy wonder that I am... holes and all.

:)

[Starbucks Anarchist]

31. Yes.

But in a way, I haven't even started it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

32. No. There is a reason for everything that goes on in my life.

Sometimes I feel like I have wasted opportunities...but, on the whole, if I were to die tomorrow, I'd consider myself to have led a good life.

[Atmashine]

33. NO

I liked the part when the robots started coming out and killing the people.