Single Again

[Jack_Dawson]

She wants marriage. I'm...not sure. Probably best not going into a marriage unsure. Right? (insert validation here)

[yvr girl]

1. You both need to want it

If the thought of losing her isn't enough to change your mind. You're not ready.

[Jack_Dawson]

2. Really?

(validation appreciated)

But I'm in my mid-30s. Aren't I supposed to want the whole minivan cookie cutter house thing by now?

JD

[yvr girl]

5. I don't think you've met the right person

I'm older than you and I've never been married. I'd like to be in a relationship but babies scare me, I like living in the city and who wants to take care of a yard.

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. Jack, my brother dated a women for 8 years, and we all LOVED

her. He loved her too, but didn't want to get married until he felt ready. She gave him an ultimatum...he didn't fall, and she left. We adored this girl and were sure he had made a mistake (he was 35). He is now 39 and the daddy to a brand new baby boy. In other words, he was ready! You'll know when you are too. My father left my mother after 40 years of marriage, and only now admits he had misgivings way back on his wedding day. You are saving her and yourself a world of hurt in a few to fifty years...all the best,


~Laura :hug:

[Jack_Dawson]

4. Thx Laura...

I love her too. Plus...she's hot. But I can't take another day of "where is this going I don't want to waste my time".

[Laelth]

6. I don't believe in a single, "right" person.

But I do believe that, for each of us, there are a lot of wrong persons. Perhaps she was just a "wrong person" for you. That said, there's wisdom in holding on to whatever love you can find in this lonely world.

These lyrics just about sum up the extent of my faith:

I don't believe in destiny, or the guiding hand of fate.
I don't believe in forever, or love as a mystical state.
I don't believe in the stars or the planets or angels watching from above,
but I believe there's a ghost of a chance you can find someone to love ...
and make it last.

Neil Peart - Rush

-Laelth

[tjdee]

7. Why is she trying to rush you?

I don't think you're right for each other, right now. (And obviously I don't know either of you.)

If she is not content to just be with you, without a piece of paper, then it doesn't sound like she's really sure either. She wants a guarantee, and she does not feel there is one. Marriage is not a guarantee. What's the rush?

You are obviously unsure, and SHOULD NOT, under any circumstances, go along with marriage just because you love her. You have doubts that she is the one you should marry, you should not ignore those.

Sorry, because it looks like heartache is on the way for you guys... but whatever heartache you deal with now is much better than 10 years from now with kids, a house, etc. Honest. And if you two are meant to be together, you will be. Good luck!

[leftofthedial]

8. when in doubt

leave it out

[Jack_Dawson]

9. Leave what out?

[Rowdyboy]

10. Please take your time....One mistake could screw up so much.....

If you're in your mid-30's, then you should be mature enough to make that serious of a commitment, IF YOU REALLY LOVE HER. If you don't, let her go. You know, deep down, whether you love her or not. If so, wonderful. Her love can magnify your life unbelievably. If not, if you can't see yourself with her in 50 years, then give her a break and let her go. Either way, you need to make a decision and let her know what to expect.

Life is too short to fuck around with people's hearts. I've had it happen to me and its no fun. I wish you both the best, and hope your final decision leaves both of you happy. It can happen, whether you stay together or split.

Anyway, please know that people care about you, and hope things work out for you.

[Wapsie B]

11. If you're not sure don't do it.

Just don't. Listen to your gut instincts.

[Deja Q]

12. I think you know what I would say.

Do what you believe is best. But do not quickly dismiss what could be a great thing.

And think of those who are trapped in singularity.