Post advice on something you know nothing about

[DS1]

I know everything, so I can't contribute to this thread, but I will read your submission with great interest.

[Maddy McCall]

1. I know everything, too.

Sorry. Can't help you. :(

[jpgray]

2. How to post an adequate, resonant thread--by jpgray

[LaraMN]

3. Football. In football, it is essential that one possess a ball with

75 little bumpy-things per square inch of surface area. It has everything to do with aerodynamics and accupressure.

I know.
I am an expert.

:P

[DS1]

7. That's one PSI for every Super Bowl, right?

So next year it'll be 76, thus making it necessary to fire every current QB

[Left Is Write]

41. I know something about football. I learned it from Terry Bradshaw.

He claims that the key to the game is to move the ball down the field and get it into the end zone.

Who knew?

Terry is a genius.

[LaraMN]

47. But......

what is this "end zone" of which he speaks? Is it literal or figurative? It sounds so ....ominous....:scared:

[Left Is Write]

48. From what I understand...

There are painted lines along the field indicated various "yardage." The last ten yards on either side of the field are what they call the "end zone." This is apparently where the team wants to get the ball; I assume that most of them know which "end zone" belongs to them.

[DS1]

50. Men typically prefer to be in someone else's end zone

At least, that's what I've heard :7

:hide:

[LaraMN]

52. Men. *snort*

Everything's about "yardage," and "End" zones.









:o :hide:




















Hey, sexism's allowed. It's a DS1 thread!:bounce:

[qnr]

4. Your friend wins the bet. The Tunguska Event /was/ caused by two campers,

an out of date can of beans, and a stray spark from the campfire.

[XemaSab]

5. That engine knock

means you need some new spark plugs, stat.

And that green stuff dripping out the bottom? That's just condensation. Don't worry about it.

[LeftyMom]

6. You need to blend your makeup better and maybe use a lighter base.

:D

[Ikonoklast]

8. Eating at least10mg of powdered plutonium a day

makes for a glowing complexion.









:nuke:

[Deja Q]

9. How do be the life of the party!

:party: :woohoo: :party:

[flamingyouth]

10. Let me help you pick out some electronic equipment.

Yeah, plug that thingmajig in over there. It looks like it will fit if you push it hard enough.

[Ikonoklast]

16. Hey, no sex threads

You're embarrassing me.:blush:

[rucky]

11. Reformatting your hard drive will get rid of those pesky pop-ups.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

12. Never bring pineapples to a shintoist home - that fruit is unclean to them

[NNadir]

13. I do not recommend foot binding to ballet dancers.

[democracyindanger]

14. Open-heart surgery is a great way to lose weight.

[Shine]

15. If you shake your dick after peeing, you don't have to use tp.

I can't believe I just typed something so inane. :eyes:

I've gotta get away from the computer...heheheh..I'm leaving now.

[aclog]

23. no shaking it will mean you need TP to wipe off your shoe

trust me

[Shine]

24. LOL!!

:rofl:

hey buddy! good to see ya! got any big plans for the w/e? any hot dates? ;)

[DS1]

26. It's the shiny shoes, isn't it

[aclog]

29. nope

I'm broke til Monday lol

[Gormy Cuss]

17. I call bullshit on DS1

:P
:popcorn:

[DS1]

20. I knew you were going to do that

:P

[flaming bondage mask]

18. The key to a long night of open, sensual, unbound lovemaking is key lime

pie.

[aclog]

22. what if I prefer it bound?

[RetroLounge]

19. True love lasts forever if you just work hard enough at it...

:shrug:

RL

[miss_american_pie]

21. Sparkles are overrated

:hide:

[fiddlestix]

25. Go to sleep angry

VERY angry...

[fiddlestix]

27. Sunlight is NOT the best disinfectant...

Bleach is.

This is fun!

[sarge43]

28. When disarming a nuclear device

just start pulling out wires and pay no attention to the color of your rad badge.

[BigMcLargehuge]

30. Repairing the Hamilton Beach Toaster Oven model n. 31169

Step 1 - Remove Jupter screws on the rear facia of the unit.

DANGER! UNIT MUST NOT BE PLUGGED IN OR YOU WILL BE STICKEN BY THE MIGHT HAMMER OF THOR!

Step 2 - Place hand inside unit until fingers touch "The Heart of the Beast" to the left of the severed head of Aflredo Garcia.

Step 3 - Ensure "The Heart of the Beast" has not come off its special mounting bracket. If "The Heart of the Beast" is secure, proceed to step 4.

Step 4 - Check the fitting between the Flux Capacitor and the Mr. Fusion chipset (flashlight may be required).

Step 5 - Ensure that that the Flux Capacitor is receiving ample current from Mr. Fusion Chipset.

[DS1]

31. Thank you

:applause:

I'm now off to go confront THOR, who so brazenly failed to return two pieces of 12-grain wheat bread this morning :grr:

[Gold Metal Flake]

53. Oh, this is golden!

Take it from one who has been stricken by the Mighty Hammer of Thor more than once!

:rofl:

[ZombieNixon]

32. When trying to get a girlfriend, it is necessary to have

a charming personality, winning smile, great intellect and good looks.

(Apparently I know nothing about this topic, since I possess these qualities in abundance, yet am still single)

[no name no slogan]

33. Don't trust whitey

[SOteric]

34. Don't toy with the puny humans,

you can at least post about ignorance.

[DS1]

37. uhm

[SOteric]

38. Oooooo, key lime pie....

- Don't mind if I do.


But I do feel compelled to point out that they've garnished that slice of 'key lime pie' with Persian limes.

[two gun sid]

35. A cordless drill with 3/8 drill bit is the best way to cure concussion.

Always start the drilled hole between the eyes and directly above the brow ridge. Ensure that your two speed drill motor is set for high RPM's.

[SOteric]

36. For my own contribution, -How to heat and enjoy a can of Beefaroni:

[jobycom]

39. Lame copycat

of every Freeper post ever. :-)

[bridgit]

40. pellets of enriched U235 make excellent hopscotch laggers...

:thumbsup:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

42. When skiing downhill

make sure you're wearing fresh panties.

[Benfea]

43. Actually, I think it's more fun to give bad advice on something you DO...

…know something about. The more irresponsible, the better.

Remember, if you get drunk, make sure you drive really fast so the cops can't catch you!

[DS1]

44. Cops LOVE a good chase, it kills time between Wendy's drive-through runs

[Benfea]

46. How to post a picture on the internet:

Find a picture you want to post. If it's from a magazine, cut it out first (as neatly as you can!).

Superglue the picture to your monitor (face down! I can't stress that part enough!)

Hold down the escape key while chanting the lyrics to "Premenstrual Princess Blues" by Stormtroopers of Death.

There you have it! Your picture will now be uploaded to the Internet! Anytime you want to get the URL to your picture, just stuff a peanut butter sandwich in your CD drive and the address will automatically appear in your browser window.

[DS1]

45. Cops LOVE a good chase, it kills time between Wendy's drive-through runs

[johnfunk]

49. Brain surgery is best performed after a few margaritas...

... if the patient is a conservative Republican or, say, Zell Miller or Joe Lieberman.

[Magrittes Pipe]

51. "Snug-fit" condoms help reduce slippage.

[x-g.o.p.er]

54. When doing any wiring in the house...

Keep the electricity flowing throughout the house, so that way when you put in your ceiling fan you can turn the switch on and see if it works right away.

[sarge43]

55. Punch all the buttons

One of them must work.

:nuke:

[buddhamama]

56. where to begin

i know absolutely nothing so if you're looking for worthless and potentially dangerous advice, i'm your girl.