Jesus Christ walks into a inn with three spikes.

[Swede]

He sez to the inn keeper "Can you put me up for the night?'

I am a Christian,when I heard this joke, it offended me. It also made me smile a minute later.

[-..__...]

1. What was the Roman soldiers comment to Jesus Christ...

Cross your legs... we only have 3 nails left.

:smoke:

[Swede]

3. "Paul, I can see your house from here."

You damn atheists.

[Bjornsdotter]

2. What does....

INRI mean above Jesus' head?

I'm nailed right in.

[Mizmoon]

36. We used to tell that one in CCD class

whispered of course. Don't let the Sister hear you ...

[Yuugal]

4. Why didn't Jesus join the navy?

...............the army nailed him first.

Good morning Mr Phelps.... this thread will self-destruct real soon. I posted your joke and this one in dec 04 during that year's xmas war and it didnt last long.

[begin_within]

29. .

[incapsulated]

5. I'm gonna burn the Canadian Embassy now...

Burn baby, burn!!!

:nuke:

And the Swedish one too, just to be sure.

[Swede]

6. Your going to go to hell with an attitude like that.

No,really.

[incapsulated]

8. Not in my religion

I can have a deathbed conversion. :D

[Bjornsdotter]

9. It's already

been done...we burned with the Danish one in Damascus. They keep reporting in the US that it was the Norwegian one. The Norwegian one in Jakarta had problems on Thursday (?).

Skol!

[incapsulated]

Not in the US, though

Well, not yet.

Bleh, this is all madness.

[Clark2008]

11. It is madness

but why are some on DU stoking it?

[incapsulated]

14. Don't know

I can barely post because my wrist is all fucked up. So I haven't been reading much here.

The whole world is mad, why not DU? DU was crazy first. ;)

[northzax]

33. Norway, Denmark

whatever. We're Americans, we can't find our own country on world maps and you want us to tell the difference between Norway and Denmark?

[Flying Dream Blues]

38. Seriously. God, it's embarrassing. And we're so WELL

represented in the world.

"What state is Wales in?"
* to Charlotte Church

[Clark2008]

7. Pathetic

really.

[Swede]

18. We now know that Joseph and Mary had marrital problems............

Mary rode Josephs's ass all the way to Bethlehem.

[DS1]

32. awwwww

:cry:

[Wrinkle_In_Time]

10. A man walks into an inn with three spikes..

and the inkeeper says:

"Nice hairdo."

"What do you want to drink?"

"Milligan <nod>, Jones <nod>, Lee <nod>... who's your friend?"

"Hello, Spike, Spike, Spike, Jesus. What'll it be?"

"Some Romans were just here looking for you."

"It's alright, the punch has already been spiked."

"That's gotta hurt."

"Easter over already?"

[TankLV]

12. Mary, get me some flats - these spikes are killing me.

Something in red.

[incapsulated]

15. I can't help it

I love sick jokes, lol. And I hate sacred cows, metaphorically speaking. I'll bet Jesus had more of a sense of humor than most, honestly. How could he not?

[Twist_U_Up]

13. this is a tad tacky but funny

not for the thin skin folk

http://www.teambio.org/2006/02/jesus-will-survive-its-a-super-sunday-theme/

[kath]

16. Oh, man! ROFLMAO!

[incapsulated]

19. It's stuff like this...

That the internets were created for.

:)

[alittlelark]

35. That was wrong on sooo many levels!

Don't hold your coffee cup over the keyboard when you watch it!

[bleedingheart]

17. then there is the m&m joke...

picture Jesus saying..."m&m's melt in your mouth not in your hand"...and it shows his hands with holes through them.....kids in catholic school showed me that cartoon...

[tjwash]

20. "Always look on the bright side of life"

Some things in life are bad they can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you've chewing an life's gristle
Don't grumble give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the light side of life

If life seems jolly rotten there's something you've forgotten
and that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you've feeling in the dumps don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing

And always look on the bright side of life
Come on always look on the bright side of life

For life is quite absurd and death's the final word
you must always face the curtain with a bow
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a pice if shit when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true
You'll see it's all a show
keep'em laughing as you go
just remember that the last laugh is on you

And always look on the bright side of life
Always look on the right side of life
(Come on guys, cheer up)
Always look on the right side of life
Always look on the right side of life ...

[McKenzie]

21. he had to ask someone to put him up

he couldn't hammer in the last nail on his own.

[muriel_volestrangler]

22. 10 'offensive' jokes about Chistianity

and reading them from the stage at a Christian festival.

http://ship-of-fools.com/Features/2005/10_funny.html

[ET Awful]

24. No. 2 is great.

The rest are . . . meh. Okay :P

[peekaloo]

27. lol at #2....brings to mind that scene from 'Life of Brian'.

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

34. I can't read them without thinking this:

[realisticphish]

40. that show is fucking awesome

unfortunately, i only rarely see it :(

[hedgehog]

23. In what other sacred texts are there so many puns?

Jesus not only had a sense of humor, but he frequently engaged in that lowest form of humor, so I don't think he minds those jokes.

[distantearlywarning]

25. As a Christian, I am deeply offended by this caricature of Christ.

I think I am going to have to go burn down a few buildings now.

Ok, maybe not. Perhaps I will just let it go and move on with my day instead.

[Roon]

26. Why doesn't Jesus ever close a door?

Because he was born in a barn

[DanCa]

28. Actually the way i heard it was Jesus walks in a inn with three nails.

What offends me more is when Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps, and George Bush, and thier ilk proclaim that they worship the Prince of Peace.

[begin_within]

30. Oddly - even though I don't go to church - I find these offensive. Weird.

[DanCa]

31. They used to bother me too.

However I just keep putting it into perspective that there's bigger things going on in the world to get upset about.

[Tyler Durden]

37. Jesus is hanging on the cross, and says "FATHER!...."

"If you would only remove these nails from my hands....


"THE FEET!!THE FEET!!THE FEET!!THE FEET!!THE FEET!!"

[xchrom]

39. i love that one!

and yes, i'm christian.

there are no sacred cows.

[Tyler Durden]

41. Works even better as a "visual"

You windmill your arms on "THE FEET!"