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I just got off the phone with him. We have been friends since fourth grade, and he was even in my regiment for a time. We're like brothers.
Three kids, 13 years of marriage, pretty much up in smoke.
She wasn't happy, she said she wanted a trial separation, and that there was "someone else", a co-worker. When he admitted that, he, too, had been unfaithful, she recanted her story and said it was just to get him to admit the infidelity she already suspected. Very messy situation.
Big fight (no violence, he says), but a very angry, drunken, regretable phonecall to her workplace, threatening the "other man" (whether there was any infidelity or not seems, to me, to be unimportant at this point).
He's living at his mom's place at the moment, and he's feeling everything I was feeling about two years ago, when my ex left me.
I just got off the phone with him, and it was the first time we've really talked in a few years...
I'm trying to be supportive, but he can be such a RW asshole sometimes. We actually have a mutually agreed-upon moritorium on talking politics, in order to preserve our friendship.
He's drinking alot. Too much, I think. And he's not seeing a therapist. I suggest he talk to a pro, and to knock off the booze for a while.
His dad is a lawyer, so he has that in his corner, but I just don't think he has the tempramant to deal with this in a civil manner... I cautioned him to be on his best behaviour because his wife's lawyer will be looking for any bad behaviour to argue for custody/visitation.
I really hope he can pull himself together.
It's funny, because his family was so "together" when we were growing-up. I was envious of them. Parents were together, and the family were fairly progressive Reform Mennonites. They had all the trappings of upper-middle-class wealth, annual family vacations, lots of common interests, etc. But the day after the youngest child left home, the parents filed for divorce after 29 years of marriage. The wife had had a long-term boyfriend (had been an affair during the marriage), who she later married. He took her for all her money and left her. Turns out he was also married to a woman in Ohio! The husband fell into a deep depression after the divorce, but seeled to rebound fairly well, and is now in a good space (despite some incredibly poor companion choices early in his singledom). Older brother is still married, and is a Methodist Minister who is a really nice guy, but can be counted upon to occasionally put his arm around you and say "have you ever thought about God's plan for you?". His wife is a grade-a fundie nutjob. The youngest sister followed the Dead around for a while, and has been married twice (secretly) she's now living as a ski bum in Banff Alberta, and is an ambitionless single mom perpetually on Welfare.
What the hell happens to people? I'm depressed. Everybody sucks.
I'm also rambling.
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