I am not a psychic, but ask me a question about the future...

[x-g.o.p.er]

and I will answer it with about 11% certainity.

Give me your best shot

[x-g.o.p.er]

1. Anything, anything at all...

[skygazer]

2. What am I going to make for dinner tonight?

[x-g.o.p.er]

3. You won't be hungry until after midnight, so..

Find an all night take-out. I recommend the orange chicken.

[Deja Q]

4. Will I ever get another successful date?

[x-g.o.p.er]

5. Well, it depends on what you mean by "successful"

If you need to "close the deal", as it were, you'll need to pay money in advance, unfortunately.

I see a couple disasters on the horizon, but then you'll get a good one. Either way, I still recommend the orange chicken.

[Kung Fu Bovine]

6. Will we ever find out...

...what is really inside Area 51?

[x-g.o.p.er]

7. Yes...

Area's 1-50 are there, and a nice little chinese take out. They have excellent orange chicken, and I recommend it.

And aliens. Lots of weird, freakin' aliens with lasers and mind control powers.

[yvr girl]

8. Will I have any fun PMs waiting for me when I get home?

A girl needs something to look forward too.

[x-g.o.p.er]

9. Yes...

I think, and it will make you hungry. Again, I'm going with the orange chicken recommendation.

[yvr girl]

10. When will I be kissed next?

[x-g.o.p.er]

12. June 7

As long as you're over 18...

[yvr girl]

15. Well over

That's a long, long time. I'm sad now.

[x-g.o.p.er]

21. I was just kidding..

Go get Chinese take out, get the orange chicken, and you'll meet the person of your dreams within a week. A kiss should happen shortly thereafter...

[Crazy Dave]

11. Who will win the 2008 presidential election?

:)

[x-g.o.p.er]

13. George W. Bush

But it will be called a coronation, not an election, and the title will change from Mr. President, to his highness. THe senate and house will no longer be required.

[Crazy Dave]

18. It must be true then

I had the same vision right before the Alito hearings.
When do you think political opponents and dissidents will start being imprisoned or disappearing never to be seen again?

[x-g.o.p.er]

22. Well, once the Ministry of Love and Truth are established

It won't ever happen again...

[Sanity Claws]

19. Why his highness?

Will he be open about his cocaine and other substance abuse problems?

[x-g.o.p.er]

23. Because you can't say "Assness" on television

Not yet, anyway

[Sanity Claws]

14. I'm working on an anti-gravity machine.

Will I succeed? Will it make me rich?

[x-g.o.p.er]

17. No. Yes.

Strangely, you will open a workshop next to a Chinese take out place, and they have superb orange chicken there.

It will inspire you to invent something fantastic, like removable braces.

[Ptah]

16. What time will it be at noon tomorrow? n/t

[x-g.o.p.er]

20. It depends...

The Chinese take-out place around the corner has a clock 5 mintes fast, so I would imagine 12:05.

[Benfea]

24. What will the Grand Unified Field Theory turn out to be? -NT

[x-g.o.p.er]

25. It's actually a ...

quaint little Chinese take out place in the Soho district.

From what I understand, they have excellent orange chicken there, and it comes highly recommended.

[buddhamama]

26. will a find another job

within the next month? please say yes, `cause my current one is bringing me down.

[x-g.o.p.er]

27. No, unfortunately it will be before then

You will answer a want ad for a cook at a short order Chinese Take out place that has a reputation for terrible orange chicken.

You will turn that around, make it world renowned, and fame and fortune will find you. You will leave the Chinese take out place after you have amassed a huge ego and bank account and alienated all of your friends because you became "Ms. Orange Chicken".

However, you will spend it all gambling the under on the NFL Hall of Fame game next year, leaving you destitute, but safe in the knowledge that you know your orange chicken, and it will be recommended the world over.

Be careful what you wish for.

[buddhamama]

28. ok then

sounds fun !!!

[x-g.o.p.er]

29. Sometimes, I terrify myself

with my 11% accuracy rating.

[buddhamama]

30. you should fear the power you possess

it has the potential to be dangerous. if you should fall into the wrong hands, your power could be used for nefarious means.

[x-g.o.p.er]

61. Fear? No. Respect, yes...

And I am aware of what could happen if I choose an alternate, evil path.

It is my inner struggle, my ying and yang, my salt and pepper.

[Reciprocity]

31. What are the next winning Mega Million lotto numbers?

If I win, I'll let you be my best friend.

[x-g.o.p.er]

32. It matters not, as your lottery ticket

will become unreadable after you celebrate with some Chinese take out of orange chicken. The sauce will get on the ticket, and the lottery commission will invalidate it. Although you will lose financial security and get kicked in the stones once again by the man, you will be content with the one meal you had as a wealthy man, and look back at it fondly as you age.

Of course, that one meal you ate as a wealthy man, you spent like a drunken sailor, anticipating all the money you won't be receiving. That one meal sends you into the streets, homeless and penniless.

Don't play the lottery.

[Reciprocity]

33. Damn your good!

[x-g.o.p.er]

34. It's all because of the orange chicken

[Reciprocity]

53. But, but, but this is my year, as in the year of the dog.

I mean well if what you say is true, then how can I afford the sex change operation since I am now a women but you write as if I am a man? I'm so confused!

[x-g.o.p.er]

58. It's quite simple, really...

No sex change will be necessary. Just order a side of white rice, and all things will be clarified.

[alittlelark]

35. Will the weird item I bought on ebay earlier bring a curse to my home?

Just wondering....

[x-g.o.p.er]

36. Hmmm....no it won't, because

To celebrate the purchase, you will order take out Chinese. You, Ms. Individual, don't get the orange chicken. You instead order Mongolian Beef. When you get home, you open your food to discover...orange chicken.

Incensed, you speed off to the take out place to register a complaint. You won't stand for this! With family in tow to teach themn a lesson about standing up for what's right, you pull out of the driveway--and to safety, as the weird thing erupts into flames, burning your house to the ground.

As you discover, a home is made from things that are not material possessions, so your home will be fine. Your house, however, is toast.

But a band of gypsies take you in while your new house is being built, and they take you on a wonderful trip to Omaha, where they hear some of the best orange chicken in the world is served.

You gladly eat it and vow never to be an individual again, thankful that orange chicken save your life and your home.

[alittlelark]

37. I hate orange chicken, LOVE Mongolian Beef... and gypsies are cool

So, it's gonna be OK!!!

[x-g.o.p.er]

38. Whatever you do...

you MUST order the Orange Chicken in Omaha. I feel strongly about that...

[alittlelark]

39. I am cursed... I have only been to Nebraska once.

I SWORE never to return.
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten the ebay item....?

[x-g.o.p.er]

41. I'm sorry, but the wheels are in motion

I can do nothing more. The rest is up to you. Bypass Omaha at your peril...

[alittlelark]

43. ...sigh....

Damn ye... the fates are but evil minions of reality.

[x-g.o.p.er]

45. Aye, they can be...

Or they may be your strongest ally when use properly, like now.

[KitchenWitch]

40. Will I ever become fulfilled?

after eating the orange chicken?

[x-g.o.p.er]

42. I know that is a trick question because...

you are a vegetarian. Fulfillment comes in many forms, but trying to become something you're not always leads to heartbreak, disappointment, rejection, and failure.

Be yourself, and stick with the steamed vegetables and white rice. You'll be able to look yourself in the mirror, and that will give you all the fulfillment you need.

[KitchenWitch]

44. But I am not a vegetarian...

:shrug:

[x-g.o.p.er]

46. Tempt the fates at your peril...

THe 11% accuracy speaks for itself...

[KitchenWitch]

47. Are you saying my true inner nature is vegetarian?

[x-g.o.p.er]

48. No, I'm saying, in your case...

don't have the orange chicken. It will not only give you gas, but the fate of mankind will be in jeopardy.

[KitchenWitch]

49. Should I have the Kung Pao Beef instead?

[x-g.o.p.er]

50. Absolutely not...

Let me tell you a story about Kung Pao Beef. There was a guy I once knew that had Kung Pao Beef when he should have followed his destiny. He brazenly declared that he knew better than everyone else, and the world be damned. He even ordered a SECOND helping.

That man? Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

The date? December 6, 1941.

Four years later, on his deathbed, his last words were reportedly, "get that damn Kung Pao Beef out of here."

Use what you will of this knowledge...

[KitchenWitch]

51. Can I get Moo Shu Pork?

[x-g.o.p.er]

52. I can teach no more...

At some point, one must take a step towards their destiny without any further guidance. That point for you is now here.

I have given you all the knowledge you need to lead a successful life. You may not believe it, but it's true.

The rest is up to you. May the Golden Dragon be with you.

And stay away from all things Szechuan. Trust me...

[Shine]

54. Do you think all chickens everywhere will someday rise up, against

the constraints of fruit, namely, ORANGES??

;)

[x-g.o.p.er]

56. No, they live in a harmonious balance

Much like the crocodile and Polar Bear. They rely on each other for life, death, and a balance of the species.

They may not be allies, but they are certainly not enemies.

[Shine]

59. That's sooooooo BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

:cry: I'm crying inside, where it counts.







;)

[x-g.o.p.er]

60. You have your epihany, I see

Very good. Well done.

[Shine]

62. LOL!

now I'm laughing....in perfect harmony with the crying.

it's all good, bro.

:hug:



;)

[Race4Peace]

55. will my ex continue to hit on me and finally ask me out soon?

[x-g.o.p.er]

57. Yes, that will continue until...

you relent and the ex takes you to a quaint little Chinese take-out place that has excellent orange chicken, which comes highly recommended. It comes to the table, looks great, and you both take a bite.

You instantly realize that the thrill is gone, and your ex leaves you alone, with the orange chicken. And it's a scenario that works out well for you, your ex, and the orange chicken.