More poetry by me!

[MiniMandaRuth]

Cry
by olivia



Don’t even think of crying for me,
I am already dead,
Don’t weep for me,
I’m lost in my own head.
I’m alone, I’m prey,
I’m shattered, day by day,
Don’t think of crying for me,
Stop and do something else instead,
Don’t think of crying for me,
I am already dead.

Dead in the soul,
Dead in the mind,
Dead from my fears,
From the ties that bind.
Dead from the pain,
Dead from the lies,
Dead from the sudden,
From the sudden surprise.

Dead in my body,
My hands and my feet,
Dead in my fingers, my eyes,
Dead to the worlds beat.
Dead to your voice,
Dead to your cares,
Dead to your affairs,
Dead to your prayers.

Don’t miss me,
I’m not safe in my bed,
I’m alone up here,
Up here in my head.
I’m good in my mind,
I’m well and free,
I’m happy and perfect,
To be who I want to be.
So don’t cry meaningless tears,
Please not today,
I tell you, it’s fact,
You’re ocean of tears will never bring me back.

So dear, dearest true,
I’ve walked in the rain, so should you,
Forget me, do not cry,
Never cry for me, never cry for I,
I’m alone in my head,
I’m already dead,
So never cry tears again,
Not for I,
For in my mind, I fly.

So don’t cry for me,
Don’t shed meaningless tears,
Don’t give in to your greatest fears,
Don’t cry for me,
I’m alone in my head,
Don’t cry for me,
I’m already dead.

[SeattleGirl]

1. Wow, MMR!

You constantly amaze me. This is very good! :hug:

[MiniMandaRuth]

2. Would you believe me if I told you I wrote that in about ten minutes?

That's why it looks very unfinished.

[hfojvt]

3. that's pretty darn dark

Choose life.

Are you trying to make people cry? Or just commit suicide?
I have already written a dozen poems with the theme "life sucks". That theme has been done to death (pun intended). I would prefer if you wrote something that would bring some joy into my dreary loveless life, or even something that would make you smile and laugh. Does this do that?

Okay, most post does not either, but is it better than being ignored? I was gonna post one of my poems for you to criticize but I cannot find the one that I want.

"You’re ocean of tears will never bring me back."

You're??? :spank:

[MiniMandaRuth]

4. Whoops. Darn typos!

You know what, I love criticism. Well... that may not be the right way to put it, but your opinion is accepted.

I'll keep that in mind. Actually, I do write fun poems, it's just that I was kinda sad when I wrote this... Ehehee...

[hfojvt]

6. sad is one thing

existential despair and defeatism is another. It's that darn Pink Floyd, isn't it? Maybe you got rid of the despair by putting it on paper. My worry is that some of your readers might be pushed from sadness to despair by your words, but people said that about Vonnegut too, and Dokken's "Alone Again" just started playing on my computer. It's hauntingly sad.

Most of my poetry (and my posting too) is didactic as much as pessimistic, and Percy Shelley said this:

"Didactic poetry is my abhorrence; nothing can be equally
well expressed in prose that is not tedious and
supererogatory in verse." Unbound, p. 6]

But I am not a big fan of Mary Shelley's husband anyway, and I hate it when people use "supererogatory" as a synonym of "superfluous".

[elshiva]

5. This would make a nice sad song.

:hug: