I'm not giving the kitten back... how do I tell this person he's

[Flaxbee]

not getting the kitty back?

OK, here's the story. MommaKitty brought us her three girl kittens last May, and we raised them, loved them, etc. Then when they were old enough, I put listings in various vet clinics in my area that the kittens were available. This one guy called and took the gray girl, he was nice enough, seems to loves animals, etc. Neither of the other two were adopted (I didn't try very hard to find them homes).

So, several months later, the guy calls and says he's having housing trouble, can I care for the gray girl for a while until he gets settled again. I say "SURE!" b/c I'd been worrying about her (and said I'd take her back no questions asked if things didn't work out).

So I picked her up, and she was in good shape but reeked of smoke (he's a heavy smoker) and was kinda thin... This guy also has two sons (most of the time they live with his ex) who are totally dysfunctional, yelling all the time, screaming, etc. (even our mutual vet mentioned that the youngest son - probably 9 - didn't stop hollering when they were at the vet's).

I just don't want to give her back. She's settled in so well again with her two sisters, they all sleep together in a giant kitty heap, play together, etc. And while this guy loves her, I don't feel like she's perfectly safe there.

He called a few nights ago, he's in a house, and wants her back. She's not going back, but how do I tell him this? I hate to upset people, I hate to be mean, but I just couldn't live with myself if I let her go to him again. I am going to offer to reimburse him for the cost of the spay and her second set of shots.

Help!

[zanne]

1. OMG. You're worse than I am.

I can really, really emphathize. (Before I gave kittens away, I wanted to do background checks). However, I think you just might be getting a little too protective here. It could very well be that the kitten does have a good home with this guy--after all, he's not trying to get rid of her and wants her back. Is there any way you could check?

[Flaxbee]

2. I don't know how I'd do that - ask if I could inspect his house?

I don't want to give her back! She loves her sisters! They love her! I love her!

[zanne]

4. Could you just "drop by"?

Y'know; you could go to his his and say something like "I was going to call but I was in the area" or something? If you don't mind telling a white lie (actually, a big lie), you can tell him the cat's at the vet for dental work or something else benign.

[bertha katzenengel]

3. Flax, there is a great rant about this kind of thing -- go to

craigslist.com, look at "best of" and you'll eventually find it

I found it at home a couple of weeks ago; can't access "best of" here at work because it's filtered for nastiness.

The rant I'm thinking of doesn't involve nastiness; it just involves one person's common sense about maltreated animals. This one may not have maltreated the kitty overtly, but I am wiht you: I wouldn't put a pet in that house.

Best of luck :hug:

[Flaxbee]

5. thanks, bertha... I'll look for it at craigslist...

I'm sure I'm not going to give her back, but I hate to disappoint him b/c he's essentially a nice guy. But he left her with a neighbor when he first got booted off his land, and she was there for 2-3 weeks until he called me, and the neighbor was threatening to not feed her anymore, and I just don't feel right about it or his ability to be stable and care for her forever.

But I have such a hard time being 'mean' (maybe one of the reasons I hated to practice law!! ;-) ).

[Arugula Latte]

6. Could you just say something like

"she's really bonded with her sisters and seems so happy here I just can't give her back..."

Good luck. I admire you for doing what's best for the sweet little kitty.

[Bridget Burke]

7. Yes, the positive approach seems best.

And an offer to defray the former owner's expenses would be good.

[flvegan]

8. Tough call, but

I wonder about the cat's state when you picked her up. Skinny and reeking of smoke, but she had been at the neighbor's for a couple weeks (likely why the cat is skinny).

What did you tell him when you took the cat in? Did you say you'd give her back?

He obviously cares for this particular cat, as he could've thrown her outside or taken her to a shelter. He found caretakers, and wants her back.

Tough call. Were I him, though, I'd be seriously pissed. Do what's best for the cat, not just what you want to do.

[madinmaryland]

9. As long as he is not abusing and is taking care

of the cat, I would return her. He seems to be attached to the cat enough to want her back.

BTW, Sonia and Panda (our new cat) also sleep in a kitty pile. They also spend a good portion of the day chasing and playing with each other. Sonia has also become a "lap" kitty!

:hi:

[democracyindanger]

10. Well, I'm gonna get flamed, but

you gave him the cat. You agreed to care for the cat until he got settled again. He's settled, and he wants his cat back. If you think the cat has been mistreated, call the Humane Society and get them to do an investigation.

Here's a guy who, based on what you've said, is divorced and doesn't have custody of his kids. So he adopts a cat for some company. Now you want to take the cat back based on nothing more than speculation. You're looking for reasons to keep his cat, and the ones you've found are pretty thin.

If he calls the cops or takes to small claims court, without proof that the cat's in danger, you'll lose.