Sad story. I ran into an old friend today. His 7-yr-old stepson...

[Maddy McCall]

is going to be placed in a psychiatric hospital for treatment for depression and violent outbursts.

My friend married the child's mother when the child was 2. He and she then had a child together-- another boy--and my friend treats both boys as equals. He and the mother are separated now (she's a total nutcase--a drunkard and pain pill addict who mentally and physically abused her children) and he still takes both boys on visitation weekends...and he's trying to get custody of his child and wants custody of the boy who's having the emotional problems. That boy's father has nothing to do with him.

It's the saddest situation. Has anyone here ever heard of a child as young as 7 being placed in a mental hospital for depression? I hadn't...and I feel so sorry for the child. He's such a sweet child, and he's learned the violent behavior from his mother.

What good will it do to place the child in a hospital if the mother, the root of the problem, gets no help?


:(

[LynzM]

1. Maddy, that is so sad....

I haven't heard of it, but I'm sure it's not the first time. I hope that it helps that poor kiddo. I can't imagine what would do that to a 7-yr-old :( I hope that at the least, the time there will give your friend time to get the custody things in order. Sounds like both boys need out of that house, ASAP.

[Maddy McCall]

6. My friend will certainly get his biological son...

but the son who's not biologically his, well, he'll probably end up back with the mother. I am hoping that she'll agree to counseling.

I faced off with her once...at a friend's Christmas party, the little boy opened a present under the Christmas tree. She, in a drunken stupor (whatever stereotypical misconception people have about southern hicks, she affirms everyone), grabbed the boy up by his arm, started beating his ass while still holding him in mid air, and she called him a stupid motherfucker among other vulgarities that she called him.

I told her to let him go, and I told her that if I ever saw her touch him like that again, I'd kick her ass and then call DHS on her. After that episode, I quit attending any kind of get-togethers when she'd be present, because I felt that I couldn't contain my anger around her.

Anyway, when I heard about the child's problem with violence, I wasn't surprised. :(

The stepfather told me that he's going to go to counseling with the child, so that gives me hope that he's going to step up to the plate with the son who is not his, and take care of him, and hopefully remove him from her "care."

[RandomKoolzip]

2. Well, I didn't spend any time in a hospital...

..but when I was six, I took almost half a year off from school because of severe depression. I was seriously messed up. I couldn't get through the day without having some sort of emotional breakdown in my first grade class.

I wasn't violent, just too sad to get along with anyone.

[SeattleGirl]

4. My goodness, RKz

:hug:

[RandomKoolzip]

5. Thanks. I'm over it now, of course....

It had to do with confronting mortality. At six, it was really something I couldn't stop thinking about, until it was all-consuming. Remember that kid in "What About Bob?" That was me.

Plus, I was poor and the other kids were all rich, so that didn't help.

Anyhow, the kid in the OP...I really feel for that kid, since no one expects kids of that age to be not having "fun" all the time. The alienation deriving from that social fact ALONE makes things many times worse. I hope he pulls out of it.

[SeattleGirl]

8. I'm glad you were able to get past your problems

Hopefully, the 7 year old will be able to the same.

[Maddy McCall]

7. I'm so sorry about that.

Was your sadness caused by having to be away from home?

I'm sorry you had to go through that. :(

[RandomKoolzip]

13. No, it was fear of death.

I was realizing that I wasn't going to live forever, and I didn't know what death was. I was raised atheist; in most households, there's the assurance that an afterlife awaits good kids - I didn't have that. My father (a great guy, really, but a Communist) explaining to me that blank nothingness was the end of the line, zip, nada, no heaven, was too much to compute and I went kinda crazy. All day crying jags and the like.

I'm more okay with that kind of ambiguity these days (still atheist).

:hi:

Edited to add:

I hope your friend's sone finds a way out of the spell he's under. That's too damn much for a kid to go through and I'm really sorry for him.

[Maddy McCall]

15. Sounds like your dad put a lot on you...

too much for a small kid to understand.

I'm sorry that you went through that fear. :(

[RandomKoolzip]

16. Yeah, but I'm glad he "threw me in at the deep end," so to speak....

...rather than raise me fundy and me having to find out all that stuff later in life.

Thanks for your kind words...I hope your friend finds some peace.

[Maddy McCall]

20. YQW.

[Ellen Forradalom]

18. My son was depressed for a while too

in kindergarten. I was very depressed at the time, and it affected him terribly.

I am in much better shape and my son's affect and school performance is tops. He won an award for attendance, citizenship and grades recently.

[RandomKoolzip]

19. Parent's illnesses and other maladies can be psychically

transmitted to their kids, I discovered. Sometimes via heredity (my mom had a history of depression, too) or by example (I abused rugs because my dad did it). I know so many other people my age who would go through semi-osmotic periods of turmoil with their parents in high school.

I'm glad to hear about your son; apart from the mental/emotional trauma I was going through, I managed to get skipped a grade, too, and get good grades in general after that episode was over....and I'm glad to hear that you're in a finer fettle these days, too. :hi:

[SeattleGirl]

3. Unfortunately, I have heard of that

And it's so sad, seeing a child so damaged at such a young age. I hope your friend gets both boys, and I hope the 7 year old can heal, or at least get well enough to function half-way normally.

:hug:

[Maddy McCall]

10. The child is amazingly intelligent.

He has a very advanced vocabulary for his age...from what I was told by the dad, when the boy was a baby, his mother took great care of him, and read to him, and doted on him.

Then something clicked with her--and the child suffered her endless rage.

Very sad situation for both children. :(

:hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. That is sad...

But at the same time, I'm glad he's getting treatment now before his depression gets out of hand. I hope your friend gets custody so that poor boy can have some stability in his life...

[Maddy McCall]

11. It all hinges on whether the boy's biological father will allow my friend

to adopt him.

The mother is more concerned with procuring pain pills than about her kids. My friend said that she'd sign him over to my friend if the father agrees.

Fingers crossed that it will work out.

[SeattleGirl]

12. Crossing my fingers too, Maddy

Seems the dad would, if he doesn't have anything to do with the boy.

[Maddy McCall]

14. Yes.

Also, I think a guardian ad litem can be assigned to this child, to follow his problems as well as his progress, and he can speak for the child so that the judge can make the decision, even without the father present.

Can you imagine being the child of a pill-head, abusive mother and an absent father? Just a terrible situation all the way around.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Your friend will have many challenges ahead

if he wins custody. I'll keep him in my thoughts, and pray that he does.

[Maddy McCall]

21. Thanks...

I'm doing the same thing. Lots of prayers.

:pals:

[radwriter0555]

22. A child CAN grow up in the presence of mental illness without acting in

the same manner, or without acting out in disruptive, depressive, abusive and violent behaviors.

The child may indeed be ill, as apparently is his mother. This isn't necessarily people ACTING badly, this most likely is genuine mental illness, an actual disease, a malady.

We can't continue to criminalize mental illness. It is a disease and as such should be medically treated. This kid now has a fighting chance if he gets the proper treatment. Juvenile punishment facilities and behavioral adjustment do nothing to help the mentally ill.