Tell a strange Joke.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?























A Fish.

:evilgrin:

[NoSheep]

1. Shnottinglebubbulybob.

What? :shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

3. LOL...Saw it on adult swim...

on Cartoon Network. Apparently Sam told it to Diane on Cheers back in the day.
Duckie

[NoSheep]

8. That's truly amazing! I thought I made it up on the spot AND my name is

Dian!

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. I thought you were perplexed by my joke...

Sorry.
Duckie

[EstimatedProphet]

2. How many Dadaists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Barap flavomon vishniebitz!

[asthmaticeog]

35. Sorry, the correct answer would be

to pull out a pistol and fire randomly into a crowd.

[GreenPartyVoter]

4. Knock knock

Who's there?

Car wash with a crazy man standing on his head in the toilet.


This is the kind of joke my 6 yr old tells.

[NoSheep]

10. YES! My friend's kid Nick used to tell crazy made-up jokes all the time!

It was very liberating to hear him do this! I haven't thought about that in a long time as I am kidless and the friend's have grown up.

[GreenPartyVoter]

15. Pretty much standard for the early primary grade kids. By 2nd or 3rd they

understand the joke structure and how to use it. My 8 year old has recently discovered puns and now enjoys making plays on words. :)

[gordontron]

5. haha nice

An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote:
“Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only nine words here. You could send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”

[shugah]

20. haha

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

you win!

[LynzM]

6. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.







What's green and has 4 wheels?














A blade of grass and I was lying about the wheels.



Both from my brother. I love him, but he's a little weird :)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

7. Those are GREAT!

[LynzM]

16. Thanks, YRD :)

I find them pretty funny, but some people really don't. Their loss! :rofl:

[Kerrytravelers]

11. A man walked into a bar.

The bartender said "duck next time."

ba-dum-duh

[blockhead]

14. a dyslexic walks into a bra...

[ET Awful]

12. What two things in the air can get a girl pregnant?

Her legs :evilgrin: (groooooaaan, I know, blame the Unknown Comic) :P

[YellowRubberDuckie]

13. LOL...

Clever.

[Benfea]

17. How many Microsoft programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

Zero. They just redefine the value for darkness.

[RumpusCat]

18. Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?

A: For stamping out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: For stamping out flaming ducks.

:crazy:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

37. That's funny...

:rofl:

[Dave Reynolds]

19. The bad news is, the Earthlings have landed.

The good news is, they eat borkings and piss uric acid!

snarfle snarfle snarfle....

[elshiva]

21. No! NO! The real joke goes like this:

How many surrealistic Lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Fish

For obvious reasons, makes more sense.

[UrbScotty]

22. Donald Rumsfeld is giving GW Bush his daily briefing.

:evilgrin:

[SofaKingLiberal]

24. and?

:shrug:

[liberaltrucker]

23. A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar

The bartender asks....
Want is this, some kinda joke?:hide:

[Gormy Cuss]

42. my favorite one in that vein

A seal walks into a club...

[SofaKingLiberal]

25. George Bush was elected.

Edit - Oh, I'm sorry, that's a sick joke.

[clyrc]

26. Here's one my grandpa tells:

A man has to go out of town and leave his expensive dog at home. He asks a friend if he will feed the dog daily, with the expensive beef in the fridge. His friend agrees. The dog owner returns a day earlier than expected to find that his friend is feeding his dog cheap dog food. "I didn't know my dog would even eat that stuff," says the man. "Oh yeah, he'll eat it." Says his friend.

My grandpa finds this very funny.

[Mythsaje]

27. This reminded of a joke told in pagan circles

How many druids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?








None. Druids don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in stone circles, silly.




I should be ashamed of myself. But I'm not.

[giant_robot]

28. How many marxists does it take...

to screw in a proletariat light bulb?










None. A proletariat light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

[Hissyspit]

29. Why does a worker on strike have a red nose all the time?

Because he has to picket in the cold.

I made that up in, like, the fifth grade.

[Name removed]

30. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[BreweryYardRat]

31. What's the difference...

...between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls?

You can't load the bowling ball truck with a pitchfork. :evilgrin:

[eyesroll]

32. George H.W. Bush's sex joke, as told to an audience I was unfortunately in

:eyes:

A group of golfing buddies made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.

After a long life, Tom was the first to go, and true to his word, he made contact.

"Is that you, Tom?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast, off to the golf course, I have sex. I bathe in the sun, then I have sex twice. I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again."

"Oh, Tom you surely must be in heaven."

"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Scottsdale, Arizona."

[AllegroRondo]

33. A man calls his wife at home

"Honey, I just won $10 Million in the lottery! Pack your bags!"

"What should I pack for? A cruise, a ski trip, an European tour?"

"I dont care, as long as your out of the house by the time I get home."

[madinmaryland]

34. Here's a strange one I haven't heard in a while . .

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

:evilgrin:

[martymar64]

36. The Train of Communism stopped on the track

Stalin said "Shoot the engineer!"
Krushchev said "Rehabilitate the engineer!"
Breshnev said "Let's just close our eyes and rock back and forth."
Gorbachev said "Let's get out and say 'the train is broken!'"

[corksean]

38. I'm an insomniac agnostic dyslexic

I lie awake at night wondering if there is a Dog

[Taverner]

39. What do you call a black person who flys an airplane?

A PILOT, YOU FUCKING RACIST!!!!!

[mac56]

40. How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb shouldn't have to change for society to accept it.

[bmbmd]

41. Did you hear about the naturopath who forgot to take his medicine?

He died of an overdose.

[MaggieSwanson]

43. Why did the monkey cross the road?

He was stapled to the chicken.