Time for a fart thread - here's mine

[Donkeyboy75]

[Shine]

1. Defcom 5!!!!!

hit the deck!!
:scared:

[Crazy Guggenheim]

2. YYYEEEAAAHHHHHH!

:popcorn: :bounce: :wow: :applause: :woohoo:

[Whoa_Nelly]

3. Danish Elevator (read closely)

[giant_robot]

4. A fart haiku

Invisible cloud
of unpleasant methane gas
damn you, pork n beans!

Clearly, I have too much time on my hands. I should go to bed. :crazy:

[Floogeldy]

5. Locking

Bodily function, threat.

[jeff30997]

6. A BIG fat Fart:

[BrotherBuzz]

7. I give you Le Pétomane - the last word in farting

Le Pétomane



Le Pétomane was the stage name of the French professional farter and entertainer Joseph Pujol (June 1, 1857 - 1945).


He was famous in Victorian times for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to break wind at will. He derived his stage name from the French verb péter, "to fart."

Joseph Pujol was born in Marseille. He was one of five children of François (a stonemason and sculptor) and Rose Pujol. Soon after he left school he had a strange experience while swimming in the sea. He would put his head under the water and hold his breath whereupon he felt an icy cold penetrating his rear. He ran ashore in fright and was amazed to see water pouring from his anus. A doctor assured him that there was nothing to worry about.

When he joined the army he told his fellow soldiers about his special ability, and repeated it for their amusement. He then found that he could do the same with air. Although a baker by profession, Pujol decided to try his talent on the stage, and debuted in Marseille in 1887. Successful, he proceeded to Paris, where he took the act to the Moulin Rouge.

Some of the highlights of his stage act involved playing a flute through a rubber tube in his anus and farting sound effects of cannon fire and thunderstorms.

In 1894, the managers of the Moulin Rouge sued Pujol for an impromptu exhibition he gave to aid a friend struggling with economic difficulties. For the measly sum of 3,000 francs (Pujol's usual fee being 20,000 francs per show), the Moulin Rouge lost their star attraction, who proceeded to set up his own traveling show called the Theatre Pompadour.

In the following decade Pujol tried to 'refine' and make his acts 'gentler'; one of his favourite numbers became a rhyme about a farm which he himself composed, and which he punctuated with the usual anal renditions of the animals' sounds. The climax of his act however involved him farting his impression of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.

With the outbreak of World War I, Pujol, horrified by the inhumanity of the conflict, retired from the stage and returned to his bakery in Marseille. Later he opened a biscuit factory in Toulon. He died in 1945, aged 88 and was buried in the cemetery of La Valette in the Var département, where his grave can still be seen today.

A present-day comedian employing the same effect is Mr. Methane.

A short humorous film about his life, entitled Le Petomane starred Leonard Rossiter.

The Italian movie 'Il Petomane', starring Ugo Tognazzi gives a poetic rendition of the character, contrasting his deep longing for normalcy with the condition of 'freak' to which his act relegated him.

The 1974 film Blazing Saddles, directed by Mel Brooks, is famous (or notorious) for its flatulence jokes. Brooks appears in several cameo roles as different characters, one of which is named Governor William J. Lepetomane.

[ghostsofgiants]

8. Ever heard of the Tunguska event?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tunguska_event

Yeah, that was me.

[WCGreen]

9. Seven kinds of farts...

Fizz
Fuzz
Fizz Fuzz
Putt
Tally Putt
Tear Butt
Rattler.....

[Crazy Guggenheim]

10. Here's website.

http://www.fart.com/

[SofaKingLiberal]

11. ok

[In_The_Wind]

12. Old Fart

[Crazy Guggenheim]

13. HAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

:rofl:

[In_The_Wind]

15. I'll take that as a complement!

[Crazy Guggenheim]

14. Take look at this site.

http://www.prankplace.com/fbush.htm

[terrya]

16. Locking

Bodily function thread