Worst Valentines Day ever...

[converted_democrat]

Two DU'ers I don't even know thought enough of me to remember me on V-Day, and my SO "forgot" what day it was.. I spent alot of time and money on him, and he forgot.. How can a person forget what day it is?? Am I wrong to think this was really thoughtless, or should I just drop it? Am I making too big of a deal out of it?

[Divameow77]

1. How can someone forget

what day it is? Valentine advertisements have been everywhere.

Happy Valentine's Day :-)

[converted_democrat]

2. Yea, that's what I thought..

Thank you for wishing me a happy V-day though.. :pals:

[Redstone]

3. Well, kiddo, it's kinda hard to "forget" Valentine's Day, so I think

you have a damn good reason to bitch.

I mean, EVERY drugstore, grocery store, and even gas station mini-mart is LOADED with Valentine's Day stuff, weeks beforehand.

I'm as oblivious as the next guy (actually, I bet I'm even more oblivious than anyone you know) but damn, even I notice all the Valentine's stuff.

No excuse on his part. And if he claims he "didn't know it was that important to you," you may want to start looking around, becaus he's not paying enough attention to you.

Redstone

[converted_democrat]

5. We've been together for 6 years, and he's never forgotten before..

We have a huge age difference, and we are growing apart.. He's 45, and I'm 26.. I really feel let down. You're right, he isn't paying me enough attention.

[Redstone]

10. Listen to me, and listen closely: He's too damn old for you. I have a very

close friend (In fact, I came close to marrying her thirty years ago) who made the mistake of marrying one of her college professors. The age difference didn't seem too bad to her then, but now that she's 49 and he's 67, well, there's some friction. If you know what I mean and I bet you do.

Listen to me, young lady, because I only have your best interests in mind...give this whole thing a LOT of thought, would you?

I get the sence that you're very unhappy. You can PM me if you want to talk, but remember that it might take me a couple of days to get back to you.

I do hope that you're happier tomorrow than you are today.

Redstone

[converted_democrat]

14. Thank you Redstone.. I'm going to give it some serious thought..

I may PM you yet.. Thank you. I'm a very upbeat happy person for the most part, but things have been going downhill fast over the last 6 months.. I just want to be happy.. I don't ask for much, I just want to smile.. :hug:

[Redstone]

18. Give me a yell any time you feel you need to. I'll be here.

Redstone

[Arugula Latte]

13. Listen to your gut ... the gut never lies ...

Don't get trapped ... You deserve better (and not because of Valentine's Day; because I think you know deep down there's something better for you out there). You're young -- you should be happy, and you have plenty of time to make that happen.

[converted_democrat]

21. That's part of the problem.. I'm already trapped..

We own a large business together and a home..

[Arugula Latte]

24. Well .. I know this is easy for me to say ...

Yes, it would be difficult to get yourself out from those commitments, but you could start to do it and, even if it takes a few years, you'll still be younger than 30. There is an article in the latest "Oprah" (I admit it -- I like that magazine!) written by a woman who found herself sobbing in the bathroom at night because her inner voice was telling her to get out of her marriage. She would surpress the thought during the day, and then it would come out at night and keep her awake, crying. Well, anyway, something to think about. Good luck! :hi:

[cassandra uprising]

31. It will only get harder to leave as time goes on.

I am your age and while I never been in your particular situation, I had a plethora of experiences in my early adolescence dating older men. It was always bad news. I was looking for a dad and they were looking for an easy target to manipulate and control. While there my be genuine love between you two at one point you need to ask yourself does this person give you what you need. If the answer continues to be no for a substantial amount of time and you are feeling trapped you need to pack a suitcase and go sleep on your mother's or best friends couch. Doing this will not be easy. Get a lawyer and a therapist if you can afford it. Regardless of the pain that this will bring it will be easier at 26 than 36 or 46. You have all of my good thoughts and support. PM if you need to at anytime. :hug:

edit typos

[Scout1071]

22. Well put Redstone.

What he's done is just plain hurtful.

[Kurovski]

4. Dump him. Lots of nice young men here on DU.

But you do of course know it will always be one thing or another.

Do his other qualities out-weigh his flabbergasting lack of memory despite all the V-Day ads, signs, shop windows, tv shows, etc,?

[converted_democrat]

8. He is a good guy.. But we have a huge age difference, and we are

starting to grow apart.. He used to spoil me, but not anymore.

[sendero]

6. Let me ask you...

.... how is your relationship? I mean, if Valentine's Day never happened, how happy would you be to be with this person?

My wife and myself go out of our way to avoid falling into yet another commercial-holiday crapfest, buying each other ridiculous $3 cards with words that other people wrote, etc, etc,etc.

Has your SO told you that he loves you? Treated you in a way that lets you know he treasures you?

It doesn't take a card, flowers or candy to do that. :)

[converted_democrat]

9. We've been growing apart over the course of the last 6 months..

He used to treat me really well.. Things have been going downhill for the last 6 months. I think the age difference is starting to take its toll.. I'm 26 and he's 45.. I think we're growing in different directions.

[sendero]

11. Sorry to hear that...

... might not be age that is the problem - might just be that you really don't have enough in common.

How long have you been together?

[converted_democrat]

15. It will be 6 years on the 5th of March...n/t

[2bfree]

19. My husband and I have a huge age gap as well.

It really doesn't matter with us at all. You shouldn't worry about VD at all, who cares about a $3 card and some crap-ass chocolates. You should worry however about growing apart for the last 6 months and why he doesn't treat you the same way as he did before because these things are big problems. Forget today and take some time to think about what it is you want out of life and then have a long talk with this person (husband?)and see what kind of answers you get. You deserve to be happy. PM if you like my husband is 18 years older then I am and we have been together for 24 years now.

[converted_democrat]

23. Thank you 2bfree..

I have alot to think about.. Thank you :hug:

[Ron Mexico]

30. Redstone's right. Start looking for a door marked "exit."

I've read all I need to read to know that nothing is going to get better in that relationship.

[Heddi]

7. I can see both sides

It may not be so much "oh, I forgot it was VALENTINE'S DAY" but more along the lines of "i forgot TODAY was Valentine's Day"--two totally different concepts.

I've done that before with my husband. Knowing Val's Day is coming up but not remembering it's on Monday. Or planning on Monday to get something after work then forgetting (we share a car, so being sneaky to get presents takes some fanagaling sometimes)

Hell--I forgot our WEDDING anniversary (and I'm a woman--only men are supposed to forget anniversaries, right?) more than once (but not more than twice :) ). Both times I had alot of shit going on and didn't realize until way way late in the day that THAT DAY was *THE* day. Time just slipped from under me and I wasn't paying attention to the DATE as much as I was the DAY.

I don't know your relationship with your SO, but more than likely he feels like shit for forgetting. I know I have on the times that the dates slipped by me and I "forgot" a holiday/anniversary/etc. I know I totally felt like a hag when I've forgotten our anniversary, but ti wasn't done out of thoughtlessness or done because I hate my husband--it was an honestly simple (but stupid) mistake that he doesn't even REMEMBER me forgetting, but I'll never forgive myself for forgetting.

If this is a generally good person who doesn't act like a cad, I'd say to not fret over it too much as it was most likely a very honest misake.

If this is a character who makes a habit of being....like this, well, I guess you know the answer to that one...

[converted_democrat]

12. He didn't even say he was sorry.. That's what really hurts.. He didn't

even say he was sorry, and then he told me I was making a big deal out of nothing..

[LeftyMom]

16. There's the real problem

disrespecting your feelings. You feel the way you do and even if he thinks you've blown things way out of proportion he needs to respect you and honor your feelings.

[converted_democrat]

20. I think you hit the nail on the head..n/t

[mdmc]

17. sorry to hear this

peace and low stress...

you...know..what.to..do...

[mdmc]

25. I read your thread again

and I hope things work out for you. My ex (age 30) just left a man in his 60's. He was cheating on her with younger friend of his daughter. She told me (we are friends now, by the way) that they were drifting apart for the last few years, then his daughter told my ex that she should leave this relationship.

I am really sorry that you are hurting.
Peace and low stress!

[converted_democrat]

27. Thank you mdmc..

I know what to do, it's just that "doing it" is the hard part..

[imperialismispasse]

26. You want the straight truth?

I'm a guy and have the typical guy dumbness. I do stupid things all the time and my SO is pretty understanding. But I would never forget Valentines Day. It would hurt her a lot and I know that. I make an effort when I know it matters.

The truth is your dude just didn't feel like being good to you. I think it's a bad sign for the relationship.

[converted_democrat]

28. I know what's up... It's just hard to accept..

Leaving someone you've been with for 6 years is tough.. I'm tired of being taken for granted, and I remember how he used to treat me and I keep hoping he'll wake up and do like he used to..

[imperialismispasse]

29. If I'm doing the math right

you've been with him since you were 20 and you've got to admit none of us make great decisions for ourself when we're 20. :D This sucks now but I have a feeling if you put an end to it you'll find a whole bunch of other better options out there. Good luck to you and happy belated Valentines Day.

[mdmc]

32. I hate to say it

but there is probably a teenager in her SO's life. Probably someone that works with them. I hope I am wrong.

[mdmc]

33. feel better and we will support you here at DU

hopefully you have family and friends that you can trust as well.

I will say a prayer for your happiness. I'll toss one in for all at DU, as well (freepers included!).