Paris Hilton predicts: People will be shocked at how good her new album is

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

February 15, 2006
Paris Hilton says her album is hot

Paris Hilton mentions her new album in the upcoming Star and talks about how great it is, saying, “It’s been a long hard process getting this CD together. I’m really proud of the album. It’s hot. I’ve written poems, so that helped me with lyrics. People will trash (the still unnamed album) because it’s me, but once they listen, they’ll be shocked. I know this is good.”



:grouphug:

http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2006/02/15/paris_hilton_says_her_album_is_1.html

[LaraMN]

1. PLEASE let there be a duet with K-Fed!

[Beer Snob-50]

2. I will kill myself if she covers the Stones!

Britany was bad enough, but at least she has a pleasing (artifical) body. Paris doesn't even have that.

[xchrom]

3. i'll have to hear it before i'm shocked.

dick cheney will be a good shot before that happens.

[ProfessorGAC]

20. And, He'll Be Careful With Guns Too

The Professor

[djeseru]

4. I'll be shocked when she finally goes away.

Now, she's just an annoying hack. x(

Sorry, I don't normally complain, I just think this one's had more than her share of 15 minutes already...

[mikeytherat]

6. Would your sig line be from "Terror from the Year 5000" (MST3K style)?

mikey_the_rat

[djeseru]

10. Why yes, yes it is!

I thought the "angry" secretary had some of the best lines. :D

[mikeytherat]

13. Is that like that Carbon-14 thing you're always talking about?

I'm gonna calculate the angle of my flattop.

Ah, the wacky sexual predator.

Sorry 'bout all the peeping, Miss Claire.
Water under the bridge, Angelo!

Um, there seems to be a slight delay in the terror.

mikey_the_rat

[djeseru]

16. Them magazines always expectin' me to perform.

:rofl:

[flvegan]

5. That just means it won't suck as much as we expect it to.

Like, it'll suck like a commercial grade air compressor, but it won't quite have the strength of a black hole sucking the universe in upon itself.

[noonwitch]

7. You mean she found her way out of the gay man's ass?

From the South Park episode making fun of her. She ended up doing the Lemmiwinks thing.

[mikeytherat]

8. "Whore off!"

mikey_the_rat

[Initech]

22. Stupid spoiled whore video playset!

Show the whole world what a slut you are!

[Initech]

9. The fact that we live in a world where John Lennon was murdered...

yet Paris Hilton can record an album... god damn it! :grr: :argh: :nuke:

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

11. Ya, I'm sure the lyrics are very deep and full of meaning too

:eyes:

[underpants]

12. Well honey you have to get past the "Sam Fox hurdle"

this is comprised of both the music and the hotness factor. Since you aren't even CLOSE to being as hot as Samantha Fox your album better be really good or you will be relegated to the return bin of history!!!!

[ET Awful]

14. Rule No. 1 when dealing with Paris Hilton - If she says "It's Hot", then

most likely it is not.

[mikeytherat]

15. Ah, Paris in the springtime!

25. Paris Hilton

Charges:
Won’t go away. A head so empty, the rails of coke that sustain her must dissipate in clouds around her ears; this residual high the only explanation anyone would come within five feet of her. Brainless, her spinal cord defies physics, like an Indian rope trick. Her Carl’s Jr. commercial, while an uninspired approximation of eroticism, was still hotter than her actual "sex" tape, in which she only made noise when she wasn’t screwing—that’s not hot. Squints inexplicably for photo ops, suggesting even minimal focus is beyond her. Her continued success as a celebrity famous for nothing, despite the eerie resemblance she bears to the inbred banjoist from Deliverance and a lack of talent so profound that others become duller as they approach her, indicates that something is fundamentally wrong with humanity.

Exhibit A:
Somehow, everybody in America knew that this completely pointless person had lost her dog, and we are all diminished by the experience.

Sentence:
Locked in a room with a high steel ceiling which lowers a centimeter per hour, until she either solves a Rubik’s cube or is crushed; whichever comes first.

http://www.buffalobeast.com/91/50.htm

mikey_the_rat

[REDKING]

25. OOOH.COLD,COLD...........but I like it.

[jane_pippin]

17. I for one can't wait to hear it and write about how hot it is in my diary:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0743287142/104-7695679-7711167?v=glance&n=283155

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

18. "Dear Diary...today I bought the new Paris CD, and it is SO hot..."

:rofl:

[anarch]

19. I'll take just about any excuse to say:

[REDKING]

21. One night in Paris...One week in the charts,See ya!

[6000eliot]

23. I'd be shocked if I cared.

[DS1]

24. "I fuck like a wet sack, and look weird in nightvision" fuckin' RAWKS!

:headbang:

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

26. LOL

:spray:

[Taverner]

27. "Feeeeeeel feeeeeeeeeel feeeeeeeeeel the heaaaaaaaaat"

I'm picturing a female Dirk Diggler album here....