Need advice... re: driver's phobia?

[Scooter24]

I need some advice:

I have a 23-year-old friend who doesn't have his driver's licence. He called me a few days ago asking if I can take him out and teach him because he thinks he will get a better job offer in another town and I agreed to do it. Well I call him tonight to see when he wants to get together and he unfortunately backed out.

His issue is that he gets nervous. About 5 years ago, he was involved in a very bad car crash as a passenger that did some major damage to his face. Thankfully, he's fine today but that's the primary reason he doesn't feel comfortable behind the wheel. He keeps thinking he's going to crash or hit someone.

What can I say or do to cure him of this phobia?

[TheCentepedeShoes]

1. May be more than you can handle

although it's really good of you to try to help him. :) Maybe check out a driving school that has someone trained to deal with driving phobias?
PS - I checked your profile to see if you were in an area with good public transportation. And your not. Last time I drove through there on I-635 I like to had to throw up afterward.

[Scooter24]

4. He lives east of Dallas

in the country. Lots of country roads and empty parking lots in his area. I wouldn't think of trying to teach him in Dallas traffic. lol.

I'm going to go over there and try and talk to him. If not, maybe I can try and talk him into seeking professional help.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

2. My mom had this problem

My father was horrifically impatient and only made her more frightened to drive. She asked me to help her.

For her first "lesson" she didn't even start the car. I sat in the passenger's seat while she put the car in neutral and let it roll forward about 3 feet. She was shaking and sweating afterward. She told me it helped.

After that, I tooke her to a large empty parking lot and just had her get the feel of the wheel and the brakes. I had her practice aligning the car to the lines on the parking spaces, and going in a straight line from one to the next. I played classical music on the radio, because it seemed to calm her down.

After that, I took her to a rather twisty road that circles a nearby park, where I was sure we'd encounter very little traffic. We did this several times, and when she felt comfortable, we drove on some local roads through moderate traffic.

It took a long time...at least a couple of months...before she felt confident enough to drive. But she got there. To this day she'll swear and curse that someone's tailgating her when they're a safe distance behind her; and she'll fret about similar problems that haven't occurred. She tends to pump the gas, making for a most unpleasant ride; and I worry because she's had a couple of accidents.

But I think that when she can't drive any more, she'll at least be realistic about it and get off the road. I hope so, anyway.

Best of luck to your friend!

[Scooter24]

5. Thank you

I think deep down he knows he can do it. He was quite excited about the prospect of having his licence.

He trusts me, and I'm very patient. I think with time, he'll be ok.

[Flaxbee]

6. what GoG did is what I was going to suggest...

go hang out with your friend, and just have him sit in the driver's seat. Then maybe have him start the car, turn on the windshield wipers, honk the horn, etc...do "driver" things w/o driving. Then have him drive forward just a little in an empty parking lot, etc. Very slow and easy, but if he gets used to the feel of the driver's seat, perhaps he'll get more confident.

[deadparrot]

3. I was in a similar position.

When I was a freshman in high school, my carpool person didn't notice that a stoplight had turned red, and went careening into the back of another car. Even though I wasn't hurt other than a nasty case of whiplash, I was in the back middle seat and saw everything; the image of our car flying toward the other car's bumper will always be always burned into my brain. When the time came for me to get my license, I was VERY skeptical of my driving skills. Honestly, though, that caution has helped me. I don't speed, I always pay close attention to what's going on around me...and I haven't had an accident in the more than three years since I've gotten my license. His caution will help him be a better driver.

I'd tell your friend to take his time in parking lots, subdivisions, etc., until he feels confident enough to go out on the "real road." The best time to learn to drive on the highway is probably Saturday or Sunday morning--no one's out--he'll have it all to himself.