Is anyone else with me in not liking/comfortable to touch or hold babies?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I love looking at them - even playing "cootchy cootchy coo" and waving to make them smile (don't laugh at me, assholes, I do, so there....) - but I don't like holding them, and I don't find being around them to be any kind of special privelege or something worth having an orgasm about.

There is little worse than trying to pretend to fawn over someone's newest, most precious womb-creation and then have them shove their spawn in my face saying, "Here - hold him/her!" which is just their secret code for "Look, I fucked successfully, worship me and treat me like a god because I'm so fucking full of myself I'm about to burst because I fucked successfully!" like that's the greatest fucking award/honor ever visited upon a human being.*

I'm just not comfortable with babies - I don't like their smell, and beyond the beauty of their smiles and the fun of peekaboo and making silly faces, I really do not wish to touch or hold your baby, nor to be around it for any great length of time, thank you. I am afraid of dropping the poor child, for one thing, which fear makes me even MORE likely of doing that which I do not wish to do; but also, I'm simply not interested. I don't think it's "fun" to hold a baby, or a necessity in my life.

I love babies, and I love having them around, but ye gods, please, don't ask me to touch or hold your baby, and PLEASE don't ask me to pretend that YOU are somehow more special because you pro-created. Your baby is special, yes; but breeding does not make elevate your specialness one iota.

But mostly, the truth is simply that I have no desire or need to hold a baby. I'm happy to look, I love to make silly faces and silly sounds to make them smile, but otherwise, I'm pretty neutral when it comes to babies.

Am I the only one?

And for all of you who love babies and find them to be the most precious things ever, God bless you! Because without people like you, babies would grow up in a Rabrrrrrr-world that is very much like Sean Connery's character in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", who didn't find his son interesting until just before he left to follow his own career.


* - not all parents are this way, obviously, and thankfully only a few of them in my experience are that way. But you cannot, as I cannot, deny the fact that this country (and the world) is riddled with these classless morons who think that fucking successfully somehow merits some special recognition and honor.

[XNASA]

1. Dad?

[regularguy]

30. LOL!

I do believe that this is the first time I've ever posted just to say "LOL", but there ya go.....

[redwitch]

55. Welcome to DU!

Rabrrrrrr Jr. :hi:

[mitchum]

58. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

very well done :)

[NNadir]

61. If I was drinking coffee, the screen would be splattered.

I was a late life father, and I couldn't hold babies at all until I had one of my own.

Now the little guy is getting too big to pick up, and I feel so bad about it.

[XNASA]

85. There's always grandchildren.

My oldest son is 18.

It occurs to me that it might not be too long before I become a grandfather. Seems impossible somehow, but I would love to hold my own grandchild someday.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

79. ....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[JitterbugPerfume]

2. my husband (now deceased)

did not hold our oldest daughter till she was about 6 mo old . He was afraid to

[LaraMN]

3. I will be holding one in minutes!

My friend is en route with her tiny little boy named "Henry." I will no doubt experience "phantom kicks" for a couple days after holding him.

It's think it's largely a biological thing for me. I feel very relaxed and content, holding a baby.

I know plenty of people who don't, of course. Many of them prefer spending time with older children.

[greatauntoftriplets]

66. I love holding babies also...and I've never had one myself....

But I have held many in my years. Fondest memories are of holding the three triplets at once...they were so tiny at birth...okay, big for triplets, raning from 4 1/2 pounds to nearly 5 1/2 pounds...but they were the first preemies I had ever held (born at 34 weeks, which is late for triplets) and they were so soft, cuddly and squirmy.

You could curl one into each arm and the hold another in your lap with your hands. The milk and powder scent, the softness of their skin, the warmth of their tiny bodies.

:D

And they are will wonderful at age 5.

[Sugar Smack]

4. You also sound like the sort of guy who desn't like being pissed on.

Or crapped or thrown up on.

Am I right? What do I win? :D

[gollygee]

5. I am not a baby holder

I felt differently about my own baby, but in general I'm not into holding babies.

[kwassa]

6. No, you are the only person like this, Rabrrrrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The one and only.

Actually, you aren't.

[matcom]

7. HATE IT!!

always afraid their heads are gonna lop off and roll on the ground

[Sugar Smack]

12. *SPRAY*

:rofl: ok, not funny, kind of sick, but :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[underpants]

21. They are remarkably resilient

or so I am told. I haven't tested out her tensile strength or biological structural theory on her....yet.

The key with the head is to keep a pacifier in it. I have found.

[ScreamingMeemie]

8. I am more special...because I have two.

And they are both akin to the 2nd and 3rd coming of our Lord. So there. :P

[Radical Activist]

9. Sometimes it means they were fucking Unsuccessfully

As in, they didn't intend to get pregnant, so they don't even get credit for that.

I hear people say having a child makes them feel God's presence or they call it a gift from God. Personally, it reminds me that people are no different than animals who all go through pretty much the same process to procreate.

I too am afraid of dropping babies, which makes me dislike holding them. Your post is hilariously offensive.

[azmouse]

10. I never spent much time around children

so I'm a bit like that. And I struggled with infertility so I tend to avoid babies.
I don't dislike them; I'm just not comfortable around them.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

11. Actually...

There were only certain people whom I felt comfortable handing my babies over to. I love to look at babies too; but I would never be so presumptuous to assume that I'm welcome to hold them...particularly if I'm not related or a very close friend of the parents.

[LeftyMom]

13. I was 'till I had one

Then this whole mommy lobe I didn't know my brain had opened up. It was strange.

[underpants]

14. Several older men in my family apparently have that rule for themselves

I was surprised but only in that each was so steadfast that they "don't hold babies" each of them said it exactly the same way. Three so far. No you are not alone.


----RULES FOR THE BABY -----

1.DON'T DROP THE BABY!!
2. DO NOT DROP THE BABY!!
3. Honey and the baby do not mix (its a botulism thing)
4. Keep an eye open for dingos
5.OPTIONAL as in "no one puts baby in the corner"

[mikeytherat]

15. Well, me and Mrs. Rat have been married 15+ years with no kids, so

no one offers babies to us that often. They probably think we'll rub some of our "not interested in having kids" on them, and they'll end up grandchild-less!

mikey_the_rat

[StuckinBFE]

16. I hope I feel different in the future but

I don't really like holding babies and I struggle being around little kids, I just don't know how to relate. Maybe it's because I always grew up around older kids and adults but who knows. I am sure I will get over this someday maybe when I "fuck successfully" (haha, I love that term and I will steal it, thanks)

[AlCzervik]

17. The only baby i ever wanted to hold was my own.

[terrya]

18. I'm the same way

I shy away when offered to hold a baby. I don't know why...it makes me uncomfortable.

I don't hate them. But I like them...at arm's length.

[Blue-Jay]

19. I like holding babies, but I need to warn everyone:

They don't really bounce. Not too well at all.

[terrya]

24. You mean they're not like a Super Ball?

Well, there's a bit of lore that's completely untrue.

[Rabrrrrrr]

27. yeah, boy, did I ever learn that the hard way.

Trust me. They ain't superballs.

[Lars39]

20. You've overlooked one reason momma might want you to hold jr:

weight versus her energy level at the time. The little boogers can be freakin' heavy.

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. True - and that I can live with.

The old "Oh, would you mind holding him for a moment?" is fine with me, and I will happily, if nervously, acquiesce.

It's the "I want to give you the greatest honor ever given a human being by letting you hold my womb-spawn!" attitude I don't like.

[Lars39]

25. It is obnoxious of the mom to expect everyone to think jr is gilded.

The flip-side of that are the people you do not want holding your baby and who insist on it. :scared:

[wildeyed]

97. I mostly didn't want people to hold my babies.

They might get them sick or something.

I was not interested in holding other people's babies before I had my own. Even now, I only want to hold the babies of people I really love. Random babies do nothing for me, although I will offer to hold them occasionally for acquaintances who are stressing and need their hands free for a few minutes.

[progmom]

22. i was never comfortable

...before i had a kid.

[NV Whino]

26. Personally, I'm allergic to children of all ages.

Break out into a cold sweat whenever they come near.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

36. I'll stay away, then...

:D :P :D

[NV Whino]

44. Intelligent young women

who can write well, don't qualify as children.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

50. Well, I'll be damned...

I don't qualify as a child!

:woohoo:

:D :P :D

[ucmike]

28. i don't mind holding them, i just don't like when they are presented

if my friend says, "can you hold the baby while i answer the phone?", no big deal. i don't like when someone has a new baby and offers it to you like they are giving you the chance to hold the holy grail or marcellus wallace's suitcase.

great, it's a baby. looks like all the other babies i've ever seen.

i also hate the way that some people will force you to try it out, then correct the way you held it. "oh, support his head, his neck isn't fully developed."

really. i thought babies were born with fully developed neck muscles. i know how to hold a baby, i didn't want to hold this one. thanks for correcting me.


here's something else that i don't like about babies..."Doesn't he look just like his mom/dad/aunt/brother/cousin/nurse/doctor? he has their eyes."

actually, i couldn't pick a specific baby from a group of babies unless there is something really unique. "oh yeah, his head is misshaped, just like his dad's. weird. he's creepy."

[mykpart]

38. I'm with you. They act like it's some big privilege to hold their kid!

I never liked having anyone else hold my kids when they were babies, and I really don't think it's good for babies to be passed around from person to person. Sometimes I will ask to hold one of my nieces' babies to get a better look at him/her, but after a moment or two I give him/her back to a parent.

Of course, they can't speak up for themselves, but I suspect that babies HATE being held by relative strangers. It must be really scary for them. And when you hold kittens or puppies too much, they throw up!

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

80. ... Marcellus Wallace's suitcase.....

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Pool Hall Ace]

88. Now this I can relate to

here's something else that i don't like about babies..."Doesn't he look just like his mom/dad/aunt/brother/cousin/nurse/doctor? he has their eyes."

To me, they all look like misshapen blobs until the birth trauma wears off. Even after that, it's frequently hard to see who the heck they resemble.

I'm not comfortable holding them, especially when they start foaming at the mouth and making noises like they're going to spew. I just want to drop them and run at that point! :scared:

[Left Is Write]

29. I love babies. I'll do all the baby-holding on your behalf.

That way, I get to hold babies, and you don't have to! Win-win.

[yellowdogintexas]

67. not if I get there first nt.

[Rabrrrrrr]

93. Sounds good! You shall never leave my side.

You will be my "Baby Interceptor".

"Would you like to hold my baby, Rabrrrrrr?"

"Yes, I would! Though I will be holding it by proxy, Left is Write."

[Ron Mexico]

31. I'm completely with you. Not only am I not interested, but

I actively dislike holding babies. What I really hate, though, is trying to look like I'm enjoying doing it.

Also, although I know this statement makes people shriek in horror: NOT ALL BABIES ARE CUTE. There, I said it.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

39. You are right...Not all babies ARE cute.

I've seen some damn ugly screechers before....

:scared:

:P :D :P

[applegrove]

32. Some people are total baby holders. But not so good with teenagers.

Some people are love it all.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

33. REALLY little babies I don't mind.

From age, oh, 6 mo. or so up until they turn about three, I wish nothing more to do with 'em. :D :D :P ;)

[jobycom]

34. Babies tell me they don't like being held by grouchy old men, so

you're safe. :rofl:

Seriously, though, I've never wanted to hold babies just to hold them. My own were different of course. People, usually women, would ask if they could hold them, and I hated that. It felt like they were treating my kids like puppies or playtoys. I tried to find excuses to avoid that when I could. "Ooo, sorry, she's wet," or "No, sorry, she's just gotten over a cold and I'm afraid to expose her to more germs." When those failed, there was always the "Oh, please, I just fed her some chili and I'm expecting a volcano any moment. Call me if you feel something warm oozing down your arm."

Some parents aren't overprotective, just very creative and chasing baby fondlers away.

I still don't like to hold other people's babies. I will if they need me to for some reason, but I don't like it.

[2bfree]

35. I love babies!

And will hold any baby most any time but I know many people who aren't interested in them in the least and that is okay. :)

[no name no slogan]

37. I'm not a "kid person", and probably never will be.

In fact, I don't really like being around infants. Maybe it's because I was an only child and didn't grow up around babies, but I just don't see the attraction.

I always dreaded the holidays when I was married. My ex-wife is one of eight kids, and I had almost twenty neices and nephews, from infants to adults. I hated those gatherings: all those shrieking kids, the noise, the hollering, geez.... it was the best form of birth control there ever was.

Even now, I have no desire to reproduce. I could see adopting an older child, maybe, but children (for the most part) hold no fascination for me.

[Patiod]

40. I actually don't mind crying babies

I'm pretty good at dancing around and singing to them in a way that quiets them down (maybe they're just scared silent!)

And they smell so good. Well, usually.

[Oeditpus Rex]

41. I'm open to human and/or animal contact of any sort

Well, except Republicans and creepy, crawling things.

But I repeat myself.

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

42. Just for clarification

my definition of "fucking successfully" seems to be the exact opposite of yours lol

[StellaBlue]

43. I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE

where I work, all the women have giant 10"x13" photos of their babies on their desks, facing the customers, ostentatiously. So far this week three different kids under the age of two have come in. I am NOT interested.

I posted something similar to this a few weeks ago, actually... haha

Except I don't even particularly like to make faces at them. I prefer puppies.

[Hardrada]

45. I got an aversion to this practice early

since around when I was an undersized 6th grader, the numerous sisters of my dad's second wife would insist that I hold whatever baby was around when they visited and would then ridicule me if I was awkward about it. They never endeared themselves to me because of such bits of fun and I have managed to avoid holding a baby since July of 1956!!

[Arugula Latte]

46. My brother in law was exactly like you.

Then he spawned successfully rather late in life, and he turned into a big baby-crazed goofball.

I loved holding my babies, but I can't say I'm a "baby person" like my M-I-L. However, having kids is definitely the most amazing experience of most people's lives (trumping travel adventures, even, in my case) so sometimes we parents can hardly contain ourselves. I apologize on behalf of the breeders. I never thrust my kids upon anyone, though.

[MiniMandaRuth]

47. I do not like babies. Babies do not like me.

End. Of. Story.

[skygazer]

48. I don't like holding other people's babies

I like kids and I find babies rather fascinating but no, I'm not comfortable having Junior plopped into my arms. I was perfectly comfortable with my own babies but I knew them - I'd hauled them around for 9 months before I ever saw them.

But puppies - I'll hold ANYONE'S puppies. :loveya:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

49. Me.

I'm not very comfortable around babies and small children. They're cute -- at least until they start screaming or puking -- and I'll do the goo-goo thing to humor the parents, but I really prefer kittens and puppies. Once a kid gets to be maybe 8 or 9 and you can carry on some semblance of a conversation with them they're OK, but I'm not all that crazy about the little, noisy, messy, smelly, leaky ones. Guess I missed out on the mommy gene.

[Solar]

51. Its not that I dont like babies

Its not that I dont like babies, its just that Im afraid I might drop them ;(

[GOPisEvil]

52. I'm like you, Rabrrrrrr...babies are cute, and I like them, but hold one?

Ehhh...I think that because I have zero experience at it, not having younger siblings or other relatives adds to my discomfort.

[SofaKingLiberal]

53. Yes, I feel like I'm gonna break the damn things. n/t

[Polly Hennessey]

54. Baby Holding

Babies are cute and I love looking at them. Holding them is another matter -- way too scary and what do you do if they cry? I am much better at holding, cuddling little kittens, big cats (well, not tiger/lion big), little puppies and 68 pound Golden Retrievers that jump in my lap.

[u4ic]

63. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[Withywindle]

56. Nope, you're not alone at all!

I'm nervous and squeamish about it. They seem so squirmy and floppy and squishy....kind of gross, really. And I've never thought they're all that cute...and I know what you mean about the smell. Ick.

I've done it a few times, favor to a friend and all that - I mean, it doesn't give me hives or nightmares or anything, it's not like an actual phobia--but it certainly doesn't give me any of these warm fuzzy feelings I keep hearing about.

I don't know where I was when the maternal instincts were handed out. Probably off looking at porn or something.

[mitchum]

57. I'm with ya

[Redstone]

59. I usually like your misanthropy, but this is just stupid.

"secret code for "Look, I fucked successfully?"

Come on.

Redstone

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

64. its crudely phrase perhaps

but you can't say across the board there isn't a breeding imperative...

[REP]

73. I've Got BINGO!

*burp*

[Benfea]

60. Quite the opposite.

Usually I'll shout "Gimme baby!" before ripping the poor dear out of someone's arms. ;)

[Reverend_Smitty]

62. I can't stand holding babies either...

my mother once said I had the maternal instincts of a rock...good thing I have two younger siblings because thats the only chance she'll ever have to become a grandmother!

[pitohui]

65. don't know what i despise more

babies or the fools who try to put their babies in my arms, i find if you resolutely refuse the reflex to catch the baby and just keep your hands down at your side, then they are frustrated in their attempts to foist their shitty-diapered brat upon you, i notice that despite a good fake-out they haven't actually dropped one of the brats yet

babies should be seen and not heard, actually they shouldn't be seen either

they're welcome to socialize w. pitohui when they're old enough to hold up their end of the conversation

there is no challenge to having a baby, the challenge is to get thru life w.out having a baby, there is no glory in being controlled by emotions and hormones, in theory, sure, someone has to do it, in reality, in case they haven't noticed, the world is not exactly under-crowded and in need of fresh new exploiters of our few remaining resources

i think there is a reason that natures causes a certain proportion of us to find babies distasteful, if everyone bred like bunnies, the planet would already be a smoking ruin

and, no, the excuse of will you just hold the baby while i get the phone? don't work on me, i will not hold the baby AT ALL, not for one tiny second, it just ain't my problem

[eyesroll]

87. "Will you hold the baby while I have a seizure?"

:shrug:

[kedrys]

68. Babies. Ick. Keep 'em away from me.

Weird, because my entire family is the touchy-feely type, but I don't like kids. Never have. The small ones give me the heebie-jeebies. They're too...organic somehow. :scared:

[Kat45]

69. Me too! And I'm a woman--you should see the reaction I get!

I always refuse to hold a baby, and when I tell people that I've NEVER held a baby before, they totally flip out in disbelief! Sorry, but I have zero maternal instinct. But yeah, I also like talking to them and getting them to smile--which I'm told I'm very good at. Little do they know, I talk to babies the same way I talk to my birds. :-)

[fortyfeetunder]

70. Only one I was was comfortable with--my own

I don't go around looking for babies to hold. I had my own, it was fun, it was enough. I like to look at them but that's about it.

[RebelOne]

74. My feelings exactly. Nowadays, I would rather hold a puppy.

[Lorien]

71. They're sticky

I've only ever held one that was placed-unbidden-on my lap. I felt completely uncomfortable and was really pissed about all the parents at the party saying "oooh-you look like a natural with her! Oh, you really have to have one of your own"!! The planet is melting and humanity is going to hell in a handcart and they think I should add another soul to this mess? I think not.

[REP]

72. Yuck!

I'm not into babies at all. I've never held, and have no interest in doing so. Additionally, I have immune-system problems, so I am under doctor's orders to avoid babies/children ... like I needed to be told.

For those keeping score: I'm a chick, and I won't "change my mind" unless I develop Alzheimer's and my tubal ligation fails.

[rhino47]

75. I love babies.I like to hold babies that are related to me.

I dont know why but when a friend or causal acquaintance shoves a baby in my face I hesitate.I remember when my oldest daughter was born I had a c-section with general anesthesia.I came to the nurse came in and asked me if I had wanted to hold my child.I asked her "What child?" I kinda was screwed up on morphine (another long story).I do remember though the feeling of total fear when I first held her.That I was responsible for such a tiny being and I hoped I wouldn`t fuck up too badly.

[Strong Atheist]

76. We agree, for once. nt.

[ET Awful]

77. I have no objection to holding the little stinkers.

I draw the line at changing diapers for any child not of my bloodline though :P.

As to holding, feeding, etc., I really don't mind.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

78. It's not that I don't like it...

I'm just terrified I'll break it.

[Fox Mulder]

81. I'm with you.

But I go one step further...I don't like babies or kids. They irritate the fuck out of me.

That's why I'll never have kids. NEVER.

[Bassic]

82. I like holding babies

I can't wait till my son is born.

[xmas74]

83. I don't like touching babies and I'm a mother.

But my reason is different.
I don't want to hold babies anymore because holding one makes me want to have another.

[kick-ass-bob]

84. I would never ask anyone to hold my baby.

If they ask (and I know them) then they can. Why would I ask someone else to do that?

[hunter]

86. I'm a baby holder.

I've carried my kids and my nephews and nieces everywhere. When they start to weigh more than a bag of mortar mix, that's when I think about putting them down. It's really cool when you are used to hauling a larger kid around and somebody hands you a ten pound baby. There's this feeling like "Man, I could carry this kid around all day!"

[El Fuego]

89. Please don't pass me the baby!

I'll admire it from over here.

[Sequoia]

90. Look wiseguy, people who have babies don't necessarily

think "that f*^&ing successfully somehow merits some special recognition and honor." I guess you'll never have one.

[Rabrrrrrr]

94. Hey, wiseguy - read the whole post.

Including the footnote.

[Sequoia]

95. Uh Oh...however

I was at the front of the library when a lovely blonde came out with her lovely blonde baby boy and she was all smiling and I thought of this post with a chuckle and thought...I wonder if she thinks she's a good...you know...for having that bouuncing baby boy. And then there's those freepers with the 17 kids. Yep, they're good f'ers all right.

[sinkingfeeling]

91. As a mother, I find babies to be nasty little creatures and I avoid

them (as well as any child under the age of 19) like the plague! My son's 36 years old, by the way.

[newportdadde]

92. I didn't till my son was born, scared I would hurt them.

I really had very rarely held a baby and was always worried that I would hurt their neck or drop them. I'll admit here that when my wife was out of the house I would pick up an old baby doll she had and actually practice how to hold a baby.

We are expecting twins next week so I will now get to play the game of how do I hold them both at the same time.. :)

[ikojo]

96. I'm with you Rabrrrrrr....

I also don't get all warm and fuzzy around babies

[Skittles]

98. I find them a tad creepy

man of them are very ugly too but at least their parents don't know