The Thermodynamics of Hell

[malmapus]

Heh, found this among OLD OLD email...still as good as it was then..




The following is an actual question given on a Cambridge University chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their belief using Boyle’s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that for that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my first year, “ That it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you. “ and take into account that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only “ A “ given.

[SIU_Blue]

1. haha

my logic prof last year, as a final exam question, put a chair in the front of the room and said;

"write an essay explaining why this chair doesn't exist."

one student left after about 15 seconds, we were all assuming he just didn't write the essay.

Turns out he wrote;

"what chair?"

He got an A.