Are you this lonely? Poor guy in elevator sad and scared to be alone...

[YellowRubberDuckie]

His name is Bob. He's this sweet, old, friendly guy. He lives up several floors in our building, I think in one of the large studios. I just rode up the elevator with him, and he was telling me how he had planned to go out tonight, but with the wind biting cold, he decided to stay in. He said it scared him to be alone, staring at those four walls. He said all his life, he'd had a family. First his parents, then his wife and kids. Now he has no one. He said his DVD of Oklahoma made him feel better. He was going to watch that. What do you say to that? :cry:
I was just telling Skip about it while we were having dinner, and I just started crying and now I can't stop. I hate that feeling of being all alone, I dread the day that I am Bob's age, and all my kids have lives of their own, and I'm left alone to just watch my DVD of Oklahoma. Do you know anyone this lonely? Are you this lonely? What can we do to make you or them feel better? I just feel powerless. :cry:
Duckie

[Flaxbee]

1. Invite him to dinner!

People who are left alone by family really need the contacts of "extended" families... if you can find him or his mailbox, drop him a note and invite him for coffee, or dinner, or lunch, or Sunday brunch... is that something you guys could do?

Rent a movie he likes and have him come over for pizza and a movie. Even once a month, once every two weeks, something like that could really brighten his life. You don't have to obligate yourself to anything regular, but contact with him, if you can, would be wonderful.


My dad lives alone, and my lame-ass fundie sisters who live near him never, ever visit (I live clear across the country) - I'd be very happy if someone nice stopped by every once in a while.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

3. I thought about that...

He has a social life...he's out a lot. But I feel really bad for him tonight. And I feel bad that I didn't have something better to say when I got off the elevator than, well, I hope you enjoy your evening.
Duckie

[Flaxbee]

6. ...sounds like he has a network, then. But

sometimes what a person needs is a more informal friendship, where you can just hang out on short notice. It can be iffy, b/c you probably don't want him to get into the habit of just stopping by whenever he's at loose ends (I don't like people just popping in regularly) but maybe there's a way to tell him he can just call you and come by for coffee or something when he's lonely or plans fall through. :shrug:

Anyway, it's very nice and kind of you to even think about it... elderly people seem to be pushed to the side so much in our society, when often they're great company, very nice, have fears and hopes and dreams just like everyone else.

[JVS]

2. How do you know he's not trying to get you to keep him company...

so that he can make a suit out of your skin?

;-)

[YellowRubberDuckie]

4. Because he's a sweet old guy...

and he wouldn't hurt a fly.
Duckie

[JVS]

5. That's the oldest trick in the book!

[philosophie_en_rose]

7. Connect him to a social group.

Ask him what he likes and then later do some research about groups in the area. Offer to go with him for the first meeting, if he doesn't want to go alone. Eating lunch at a senior center or volunteering some place or joining a club is a good way for him to feel connected.

There are a lot of Bobs in the world. I feel so bad for him, but it is not too late to make new friends. :hug:

[mongo]

8. You've gotta be carefull

who you let into your life.

Now, I don't think he's an ax murderer, but sometimes people who give strangers (or aquaintances) too much information are social pariahs who will suck you dry if you give them a chance.

Invite him to dinner, next thing you know you're darning his socks, driving him to the drugstore, feeding him every night and rubbing lotion on his dry skin.

I'm just sayin'. I've opened up to a few of these types before and it ain't pretty. It's even rougher when you try to distance yourself.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

9. That's why I'm sad...

I know that if I reach out, he's going to drive Skip and I nuts, and he'll be here all the time. He's that type....But it still makes me sad that he's this lonely.
Duckie

[Ariana Celeste]

10. My gramma is

I call her every week. I can't afford to call more often than that, as it's long distance. But I know it means the world to her. My cousin who lives nearby her calls every couple of days and visits once or twice a week. My cousin's dad visits her often and gets her groceries.
What drives me up the friggin wall about it, is that my other uncle and his wife, who live in her basement, can't come up with the time (MY ASS they can't) to visit her more then 15 minutes or so every few days- and they are right friggin downstairs!!! And my gramma is too proud to ask for company.
:cry: